Members lal07 Posted May 8, 2018 Members Report Posted May 8, 2018 Lost a rescued Tortie yesterday. It was so sudden. I don't even know what happened. I feel as if I could've done more for her. She wasn't eating the night before so we tried to feed her milk and water using a syringe..... I really don't know what happened. All I can say is I held her in my arms until her last breath and that will stay with me for a long time and she will forever be in my heart. I miss you Mushu...
Moderators KayC Posted May 8, 2018 Moderators Report Posted May 8, 2018 I'm so sorry. It's hard, especially when you've tried so hard to save them and then just to lose them. At least she knew for that time she was cared for, it'd be hard to go out alone.
Members lal07 Posted May 8, 2018 Author Members Report Posted May 8, 2018 Thanks for the nice words. She's been with us for just a few months but Im affected and heartbroken and I cry everytime I remember her last moments.
Moderators KayC Posted May 9, 2018 Moderators Report Posted May 9, 2018 I don't think it's length of time but quality of relationship that dictates our grief. We can get amazingly attached in short order! I'm sorry, I wish there was something I or anyone could say to bring you comfort. I hope one of the articles listed here will be of help to you: https://www.griefhealingblog.com/p/pet-loss-articles.html
Members AJWCat Posted May 9, 2018 Members Report Posted May 9, 2018 So sorry to hear about your loss. Maybe she was sick for a while and you never knew? Either way, those last moments can be haunting. After losing my cat suddenly I obsessed for quite a while over the end. It will fade and you will only remember the months that were good. But it doesn't make the loss any easier, I am sorry again.
Members lal07 Posted May 10, 2018 Author Members Report Posted May 10, 2018 @KayC thanks for the link. it really did help. @AJWCat maybe she was. i only noticed when she stopped eating. and thats why i feel so guilty and helpless!
Moderators KayC Posted May 10, 2018 Moderators Report Posted May 10, 2018 Feeling guilt is a part of our grief. It does not mean we should feel guilty or earned that, but that it's a normal part of this process. I think of it as our way of trying to come up with a different ending. Little by little as this seeps in, we realize there is no ending but the one we have and we can realize it for what it is...we loved them with all our hearts and souls and would have done anything we could for them. We will be with them again and that thought has helped me immensely.
Members jacquelina Posted May 11, 2018 Members Report Posted May 11, 2018 I share your pain I held my boy as he took his everytime I think of it, it breaks my heart, I only know I was with him in the end . take care
Members AJWCat Posted May 11, 2018 Members Report Posted May 11, 2018 Agree with KayC as usual. I think trying to come up with a different ending is what I did for a while. I obsessed over the end, my cat's last hours - of course there was nothing to do to change it but you still feel helpless. You are left with questions and they may never really be answered. I know how painful that is. I wish there is more to say to help you.Try to give yourself some compassion. Your loss was sudden and it is not easy. I do promise it will get better.
Members lal07 Posted May 19, 2018 Author Members Report Posted May 19, 2018 i kept asking myself.. am i a bad parent?
Moderators KayC Posted May 19, 2018 Moderators Report Posted May 19, 2018 No. Some of these things are beyond our control to fix. It is grief's feelings of guilt talking. I hope you will read these articles:http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf http://www.griefhealingblog.com/2012/12/grief-and-burden-of-guilt.html
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