Jump to content
Forum Conduct & Guidelines Document ×

Feeling All Along


elong1969

Recommended Posts

  • Members

I feel so alone since the passing of my mother on 09/06/10. I am the only child and my father left us when I was young. People tell me to cheer up but I just can't. I don't know if I will ever be able to. I know my mother would not want me to be this way but every little thing makes me cry. What am I supposed to do? I think back to the day she passed and the events that occurred. I am glad I was with her but I felt so helpless. There was nothing I could do except watch my mother die. Any advice welcome.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I feel so alone since the passing of my mother on 09/06/10. I am the only child and my father left us when I was young. People tell me to cheer up but I just can't. I don't know if I will ever be able to. I know my mother would not want me to be this way but every little thing makes me cry. What am I supposed to do? I think back to the day she passed and the events that occurred. I am glad I was with her but I felt so helpless. There was nothing I could do except watch my mother die. Any advice welcome.

Hi Elizabeth,

It's been just a short time since your mother's passing that of course you are distraught and cry over everything. That is perfectly normal and totally understandable. I can relate to the feeling of helplessness. I watched my Dad die as we all stood there. It was terrible but I am very glad I was there.

I am sorry you feel so alone, but maybe we can help you. There are many people here who are undergoing similar situations and will be able to offer support and encouragement. Do you have any other family? Friends? Coworkers? Feel free to talk openly about how you are feeling here. We understand the grieving process and we know that you won't be happy or cheery or "fine" any time soon. Just try to take each day a little at a time, each hour as it comes. Are you taking care of yourself? Getting any sleep or rest? Are you able to get out here and there so you won't feel so alone, or is that too much right now?

We care for you,

ModKonnie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

To be honest I do not have many friends and the ones that I do I don't want to talk to them. My husband and kids are understanding somewhat. My husband has not had a close relative die so he does not really understand the pain a person goes thru and my kids they don't want to talk about it. My son keeps saying "Grandma would not want you to cry" and that is probably true but I can not help it. My step father well I just can' t really talk to him. I am not sure how he feels. He has already talked about dating and is trying to get her stuff out of the house. Its like he is trying to erase her memories. I just don't know. A few of my co workers are understanding but then i have the others that are like well maybe u need to talk to someone. I want to say to them "Well if your mother just died you would be sad to" but i don't. I can't make myself be happy when I am not. Its hard, it really is.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

To be honest I do not have many friends and the ones that I do I don't want to talk to them. My husband and kids are understanding somewhat. My husband has not had a close relative die so he does not really understand the pain a person goes thru and my kids they don't want to talk about it. My son keeps saying "Grandma would not want you to cry" and that is probably true but I can not help it. My step father well I just can' t really talk to him. I am not sure how he feels. He has already talked about dating and is trying to get her stuff out of the house. Its like he is trying to erase her memories. I just don't know. A few of my co workers are understanding but then i have the others that are like well maybe u need to talk to someone. I want to say to them "Well if your mother just died you would be sad to" but i don't. I can't make myself be happy when I am not. Its hard, it really is.

Your stepfather may simply be trying to cope in his own way. My mother, after being married to my father for 54 years, announced to all of us the night of my dad's funeral that she was taking a trip to Italy as soon as everything was settled. WHAT????!!!! We were completely stunned and shocked and upset. She was acting as if Dad was away on a business trip or something. She acted very strange and odd and well---cold, for the first few months. Now, the numbness has worn off and she really misses him.

So, I said all that because your stepfather may be in denial or trying to block out the pain by trying to immediately move forward.

Your kids don't know how to cope and your husband probably feels helpless. But you are not alone. You have us to talk to. Many people come here because they can be open and honest without trying to be happy. Don't worry about being happy. Just be you, and we will be okay with that.

How are you managing at work?

ModKonnie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.