Members Steph Rae Posted May 4, 2018 Members Report Share Posted May 4, 2018 May 1st made 3 very long, sad months since I had to let my Mom go. I still cry daily. I cry multiple times daily, actually. My heart yearns for her always. She was my best friend. Mother's Day was always special for us. I want this mother's day to be special as well because my son deserves to have his mom happy on mothers day!! I just see know way I will get through the day. How do I get through Mother's Day without my best friend? I can barely get through any day. I often wonder if I am normal in this period of grief. It sure doesn't feel normal. I've lost my dad, my step dad, my only sibling, my only uncle, my loving nanny....etc...but Ive never hurt so bad as I have hurt since my mama went to Heaven so suddenly. Please....someone just tell me what to do this Mothers Day to get through the pain... God Bless you ALL, Steph Rae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Neer Posted May 5, 2018 Members Report Share Posted May 5, 2018 My Mother also went to heaven in Dec 2018 after a fall in bathroom and subsequent injury on head but I feel that I cheated her as I did not get good treatment for her unknowingly and also did not admit her to a good Hospital.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members reader Posted May 5, 2018 Members Report Share Posted May 5, 2018 Dear Steph Rae, I'm very sorry for all your pain and sorrow. I know it hurts badly to lose a beloved parent. Please know there is no right way or wrong way to grieve. It is a long process. Grief has so many ups and downs. Be kind and gentle with yourself. All we can do during this sad time is take it day by day. I know Mother's Day will be extremely hard. May I suggest finding some way to honor your Mother that day? You could visit her grave site with flowers. Make a donation to her favorite charity. Or have dinner at her favorite restaurant. Just thinking of her and lighting a candle in her honor would be a beautiful tribute. Or maybe writing her a letter. Or sending a balloon up to heaven with a few words. Thinking of you. Please know we are with you. Sending all my thoughts and prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Steph Rae Posted May 5, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted May 5, 2018 16 hours ago, Neer said: My Mother also went to heaven in Dec 2018 after a fall in bathroom and subsequent injury on head but I feel that I cheated her as I did not get good treatment for her unknowingly and also did not admit her to a good Hospital.... Dear Neer, I am sorry for the loss of your Mom, I totally understand your pain of course. I also understand the feelings that you are having that make you feel as if you did not do something right or to the best of your ability when it came to your Mom's care after the accident. First, let me say that I too have numerous guilty feelings about "if I had of made a different decision" or "if I had listened to my gut instinct and not others". This is especially hard for me because I am a nurse. I am here to say, being in the medical field can prove a huge challenge when it comes to the illness and death of such a close loved one. Knowing too much is not always best! For a fact, I do know that I was in a state of denial the entire time. I was the only one to make all and every decision that had to be made the last 11 days of her life. I knew what was best, I knew what I would have told my own patients family members but I could not convince myself that I was always right when it came to my mom. I mean, that was my mom!! I said all of that to say this....I hope you find peace in this and can free your self of this self guilt that I believe is very common in our situations. I have lost many many nights sleep over this very issue. "What if I would have......" All i can come up with is I did what I thought was best to do at the time, despite having to make all of these life and death decisions all alone and as heartbroken as i have ever been. I often talk out loud to mom, when im alone of course, lol......I ask her to please forgive me if I did not make all of the correct decisions and sometimes I will feel some relief. I hope you find peace and comfort during this time Blessings, Steph Rae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Steph Rae Posted May 5, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted May 5, 2018 14 hours ago, reader said: Dear Steph Rae, I'm very sorry for all your pain and sorrow. I know it hurts badly to lose a beloved parent. Please know there is no right way or wrong way to grieve. It is a long process. Grief has so many ups and downs. Be kind and gentle with yourself. All we can do during this sad time is take it day by day. I know Mother's Day will be extremely hard. May I suggest finding some way to honor your Mother that day? You could visit her grave site with flowers. Make a donation to her favorite charity. Or have dinner at her favorite restaurant. Just thinking of her and lighting a candle in her honor would be a beautiful tribute. Or maybe writing her a letter. Or sending a balloon up to heaven with a few words. Thinking of you. Please know we are with you. Sending all my thoughts and prayers. Dear Reader, Thank you so much for the kind words. I believe I will use your balloon idea for Mother's Day. My mom was cremated and her ashes are in a beautiful Urn by my bedside. I think I may also start a scrap book with all of her cards and other special memories. I guess I know what I can do on that day, I just don't know how I will get through the entire day. Because I have had a significant amount of loss in my life and I'm only 41, I have learned that eventually the tears will turn into smiles when the memories flood my brain. It just seems like I will never get there when it comes to Mom. Today, I can think of my brother and I being silly "us" and I can smile. I can think of all the great memories of my dad and smile. My step dad, whom my mom married when I was only 2 years old, loved me unconditionally and never thought of me as a step child. I was his daughter in his eyes. He was my sons papa, his father figure. My real dad had a massive stroke when I was 20 and my son was an infant so he never really knew my real dad. My son adored my step dad though. He was his hero! He was diagnosed with pulmonary Fibrosis after having ONE really bad coughing spell after over exerting himself weed eating one day. I took him to the doctor the following day and by the end of the next week, they gave him 6-12 months to live. Within 2 months, he passed away. That was 3 years ago this past Feb 13th, making it only 3 years and 12 days between losing both of my parents. Today, I find it is easier to think of funny times with him and feel a grin on my face but I can't ever imagine how I will smile with the thought of my mom because i long for her so deeply. Mom and I had many hysterical moments, so many loving memories....i just want to imagine her face when I close my eyes and smile but instead it starts a very angry, deep down hurt that brings only tears....and A LOT of them! I find myself writing a phrase down numerous times a day, any time I see a pen and paper. It simply says "The presence of your absence is everywhere". simple words but it's how i feel daily. Every where i look, her absence is there. thank you for taking the time to read my pain. Noone around me understands and it makes me feel as if im crazy for being so devastatingly sad. I can't help it, I sure don't want to feel this bad every waking day. God Bless you all, Steph Rae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.