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I lost my sister in November and my brother 7 years ago

Rob T

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Im new to the forum and hoping to talk to anyone that may have/had a simular experience.   I lost my sister to cancer 3 months ago and my brother 7 years ago(the pain is still around) and I find myself drowning in depression each day that passes.  I originally thought I had a grip on my emotions but Im finding it extremely harder to breathe each day that passes.  I feel so alone as I have no more living siblings.  I feel like I lost everything because theres no longer a person on this earth that truly understands me or another living human being that simular to me on a biological level.  I can go on and on but ill jump straight to the point.  Is there anyone out there that can relate to the pain and experience i am going through?  How did you deal with it? How do you keep your head up when you feel like nothing matters and feel like giving up?  I really need some advice and seeking help.


Thank you in advance for your time.

Rob T.

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Dear Rob,

I am very sorry your pain and sorrow. Grief takes a toll. I know everyone grieves differently. Here are a few things I tried to cope with my grief:

  • Talked to grief counsellor
  • Joined a support group
  • Tried art classes
  • Journaling
  • Reading different websites like What's Your Grief and Grief in Common
  • Meditation

I talked to a lot of different people but they all told me to keep working on my thoughts. I had to decide for myself to keep going. I had to. Lots of people care about you and I know its hard. But just keep getting up every day and try to keep going and eventually it will feel more natural.

Take care. We are thinking of you.

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Nicole-my grief journey

Sending you thoughts of strength and healing. I’m so sorry for your losses. I’ve lost two brothers and every day is a struggle. It’s a loss of identity and takes a long time to find your footing. I personally feel like so much of me is gone. Definitely the part that I knew well. I too suffer from depression. Just when I thought I had a handle on the grief from my first brother, my other brother passed and I’m finding it unbearably hard to process. Things that have helped me in the past and currently are: Making myself put one foot on the floor even when I feel I cannot get out of bed and then telling myself to just get to the first task I have and going from there. Seeing my Therapist consistently even if I’m having an ok day. Talking about things even though it’s excruciating (because otherwise it stays in your body). Going easy in myself with where I think I should be in the grieving process. A lot of reading on subjects regarding siblings, grief and attachement when I can’t sleep and my mind won’t ket me rest. The batting cages and putting a feeling with each ball I hit. Writing in a journal to dump feelings and also sometimes write things I want or didn’t get to say. Lots of crying and tissues and hugs whenever I can steal them (I live a pretty solitude life). We’re here for you. Keep trying every day to move forward and tell yourself that you commit to living and healing. You’ve already started to help others by sharing your story and I’m grateful. Thank you. Hopefully our losses will transform and the parts of them that we cherish will be the main stay in our thoughts as opposed to the pain of the losses❤️

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