Members Alison 1975 Posted February 19, 2018 Members Report Posted February 19, 2018 Hi just lost my gorgeous dog yesterday he was 17 and I’m in so much pain I don’t know what to do someone please tell me it gets easier I feel sick can’t sleep, feeling really restless I just want my Rebel back . I know it was the best for him but I just feel so guilty and low right now
Moderators KayC Posted February 19, 2018 Moderators Report Posted February 19, 2018 Alison, I am so sorry. they are our family and of course we feel tremendous pain at their loss. 17 years is a long time for a dog, I've never had one live that long although my neighbor's dog made it to 19 and I miss her still. The pain is normal and no way to rush through this but to experience it, it's natural and normal, it's how we process our grief. The intensity will lessen. It takes time to adjust to all these changes and missing him will continue but eventually it'll hit you with less frequency. That doesn't mean you stop loving him, but that you are adjusting as your body should. I wish we could speed up the process but alas there is no way, it takes time to process all this means to us. Maybe you could tell us a little about him when you are able, maybe post a picture of him. It helps to express yourself and you have a willing audience here, we understand. You say you feel guilty, is it because you had him euthanized? Sometimes that is the kindest thing for them it means they end their suffering but ours begins in a whole new way. We do what is best for them because we love them so much. I hope these links will be of help to you:http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
Members Alison 1975 Posted February 19, 2018 Author Members Report Posted February 19, 2018 Hi thank you so much for replying I know it was only yesterday and I’m just still so sad I’ve lost family dogs when I lived at home but he was my first one as an adult , I got him from a rescue when he was 3 his brother had just gone so he was so shy and wouldn’t come out but something drew me to him he was a lovely placid dog always wagging his tail and playing with my other dog Marley who I’m grateful I still have to keep me sane even though he is Loki v for him all the time . I’ve taken today off work and I feel silly for doing that but I’m just so tired and upset, he was put to sleep and he went very peaceful but I still feel bad that he was in pain just before even though it just suddenly came on those cries destroyed me . I know it will get easier just doesn’t feel like it at the minute , here is Rebel below chilling out
Members Alison 1975 Posted February 20, 2018 Author Members Report Posted February 20, 2018 So I’m back at work today and I had to leave the other dog on his own I feel so guilty and I’m still so terribly sad about my loss I just want his little face to be back staring at me but I know I can’t just feel so lost and so so sad I want to feel happy and calm again it’s so stomach wrenching , how is everybody else today be nice to chat I’m feeling lonely .
Moderators KayC Posted February 20, 2018 Moderators Report Posted February 20, 2018 It's not silly to stay home from work and recognize that you're tired, you've been through a lot and this is going to take some time to get adjust to. I wish you well as you try to tackle work today, it can be really hard to focus when grieving, but I hope work can be a brief distraction for you at least. I'm glad you have your other dog too. I think we feel our most vulnerable when we're suffering such a loss.
Guests Guest Posted February 20, 2018 Guests Report Posted February 20, 2018 Hi Alison, I don't think it's silly to stay at home, these are our bestfriends and children all rolled into one so it's natural to feel lost and unbelieveably said. I hope work went ok for you today.
Members olly41 Posted February 20, 2018 Members Report Posted February 20, 2018 Hi I just wanted to comment. I lost my beautiful Luna a week last sunday. She was my world and I am heartbroken. She suddenly collapsed in th emorning then died in my arms on my chest at 1am after id dropped off. I woke up and she was motionless. I had to sit with her for 8 hours. Vet would not come out in the day and then to collect her. I was so mad. I just want you to know my life was take and my hear ripped out. I too have had pets but i had this bind with Luna as she was my first to be just with me. I cried all week at work, at home, I couldnt think about living without her, I want her back. I still do. However, I have a pillow which seems odd I smell and it reminds me off her and gives me peace. I have also done a nice photo frame with 12 pictures and phrases and remembrance for her and the final pic is where her ashes lie. She is always there. 9 days later, I can only say how quickly time goes, I cannto believe it is 2 weeks nearly since I last held her, stroked her, had her quirks. But it has got easier, I have fond memories now but still have a tear, but it has calmed. You will get guilt, anger, and questioning. Just know you did the best for her, 17 years is a great age and she looks so happy. I am not psyhcic or anything like that, but Sally Morgan actually picked up on me on her facebook and told me she senses a dog. I can also honestly say I see blurred visions where she used to lie and by the bed. It is strange. I strongly believe they are still around. Talk to them as if they are there. It helps to let go of the hurt. I also made a music tribute to her. Always will be able to look at her.
Members Alison 1975 Posted February 20, 2018 Author Members Report Posted February 20, 2018 Hi @olly41 Luna was gorgeous and that sounds so heartbreaking what you went through I still can’t brlieve my little fox isn’t here , soon as I got in the car at work tonight I just burst into tears and let it all flow out , I keep forgetting it’s only been two days so there is no way I will be ok , it’s so nice to hear it does start to get easier no matter how hard it is at the moment , your pictures to Luna sound lovely , I bought 3 and put them in frames around the house so I can say morning and night to him , I believe he will come to me in my dreams to tell me he is ok and hopefully Luna will be showing him the way up there and having fun this forum is keeping me going to be honest so thank you for replying it’s a great help
Members Alison 1975 Posted February 20, 2018 Author Members Report Posted February 20, 2018 Hi @Sarah&Ava thank you for replying I just about managed to get through work I had a few tears but the girl I sit next to went through the same last year so she was a great comfort to me as soon as I got to my car I cried my heart out all the way home , I just wanted to get home to see my other dog Marley he must be so confused to his change in routine I feel happier now I’m home with him by my side I’m so sorry for your loss also
Members olly41 Posted February 20, 2018 Members Report Posted February 20, 2018 Every night for 9 nights now, I have woken up at 1am, time she died and 4am the time she got me up for a wee in her last 4 weeks as she got older. I dont know if its in my head or a sign from her. But its every night, my eyes are black from tiredness and crying
Members Alison 1975 Posted February 20, 2018 Author Members Report Posted February 20, 2018 @olly41 she will be there letting you know she is ok , I’ve got constant puffy eyes and make up well that’s just pointless at the minute , Saturday night something told me to sleep on my sofa so I dragged the duvet down and both Rebel and Marley were next to me on the floor then sadly Sunday morning was the awful day I’m so glad I spent the night in the room all three of us together it’s strange how we just know isn’t it ? It’s my head that is constantly pounding and I’m hungry but have no appetite if that even makes sense .
Moderators KayC Posted February 21, 2018 Moderators Report Posted February 21, 2018 I hear the cries of pain from both of you and I know your hearts are in anguish. I wish there were something I could do but I already know all anyone can do is sit with you. What you really want I can't give.
Members Alison 1975 Posted February 23, 2018 Author Members Report Posted February 23, 2018 Well the pain is getting duller I’m off work for 6 days now which will give me time to sort my head out , I still well up and cry at the drop of a hat I’m missing him so very much , I still look for him all the time o get two biscuits out of the dog treat tin every time I go out . I have guilt because I didn’t get his ashes but I know I would have been upset seeing them in the house and I know scattering them would have hurt too much I would feel like I was losing him all over again hope everybody else is coping a little easier today
Moderators KayC Posted February 23, 2018 Moderators Report Posted February 23, 2018 We have to handle this the way that brings us the most comfort and less pain. I'm glad you have some time off work now to sort out your feelings and try to adjust a bit.
Members AJWCat Posted February 23, 2018 Members Report Posted February 23, 2018 Agree with @KayC, you will have some time to grieve. Sometimes you just need to be able to take the time to process rather than be distracted by work and everything else. I know it's very hard. I didn't get my cat's ashes either. I just wasn't in the frame of mind to do it at the moment, I was so distraught. I keep his favorite toy which is by my bed - even 6 months later. My new cat doesn't seem interested in playing with it either. I had not cried in a long while and last week out of the blue, I did just a bit. I got overwhelmed with the loss again.
Members Mack2018 Posted February 23, 2018 Members Report Posted February 23, 2018 @Alison 1975, I’m so sorry for your loss. I recently went through the unbearable heartbreak of losing my dog boy. My grief would come in waves...a tsunami of the heart. I’m am so glad that I wasn’t working at the time or I would’ve had to take off. There’s no way I could’ve handled the grief and work. Your days will start to get easier and...well...I even felt some guilt that things were getting easier. I still miss him dearly and always will.
Guests Guest Posted February 24, 2018 Guests Report Posted February 24, 2018 Hi Alison, I hope you're doing ok, I think having some time off work will be good for you, it's exhausting having to put on a front all day at work when your heart is literally breaking . Some time off will hopefully help you to process things a bit.
Members Alison 1975 Posted February 24, 2018 Author Members Report Posted February 24, 2018 Hello @Mack2018 today is a bit harder because it’s a week tomorrow I keep thinking this time last week he was still here and it’s making me sad , the pain isn’t as hard as it was I’m glad I have no plans this weekend so I can just relax at home with my other dog Marley who is getting lots of extra attention I hope your day is going ok and the pain isn’t too bad today and I know what you mean about missing them it’s so hard
Moderators KayC Posted February 25, 2018 Moderators Report Posted February 25, 2018 Alison, thinking of you today...a week is just a number on this long stretch of grief, we do the counting but sometimes I wish we couldn't count! It's hard, every day of being without them. I'm glad you have Marley to keep you company.
Members Alison 1975 Posted February 25, 2018 Author Members Report Posted February 25, 2018 Hi @KayC yes today has been hard I keep thinking this time last week and I can’t believe I have got through a week without my baby already , I know the first week was going to be the hardest , I’m trying to stay positive and remember the good times and all the years we had together , thank you for taking time to reply , I hope your day is blessed and you are feeling ok
Members AJWCat Posted February 25, 2018 Members Report Posted February 25, 2018 Hey Alison, it is the hardest. It is so weird to count off the days and then sadly, the weeks. I can't tell you how many times I would see something or do something and think, the last time I did this, my cat was alive and well. It's like time passage becomes so noticeable. Sorry I don't mean to be depressing, just something I think we go through. I hope you are okay!
Members Alison 1975 Posted February 25, 2018 Author Members Report Posted February 25, 2018 @AJWCat I know exactly what you mean when I woke up today I was like well this time last week I still had two dogs then when the time came around that I put him to sleep I felt a real pang of sadness and pain , it’s amazing how much the initial pain has passed and I cry rather than sob uncontrollably now which I know means I’m coping better . I have honestly found this sight so helpful because I know everybody is going through the same emotions and you can talk to anybody without feeling silly . I hope you are ok too and you haven’t had too much sadness today
Moderators KayC Posted February 26, 2018 Moderators Report Posted February 26, 2018 14 hours ago, AJWCat said: I can't tell you how many times I would see something or do something and think, the last time I did this, my cat was alive and well. I think we've all felt that.
Members AJWCat Posted February 27, 2018 Members Report Posted February 27, 2018 I am doing good Alison thank you, glad you are too. I was looking at Rebel's picture, what a face. I bet she was super smart. Time does a good job of healing, if it didn't life would be impossible because I could barely function those first couple weeks. I'm glad you found this forum it has helped me so much too.
Members Nunu’s Mommy Posted February 28, 2018 Members Report Posted February 28, 2018 On 2/25/2018 at 9:59 AM, Alison 1975 said: Hi @KayC yes today has been hard I keep thinking this time last week and I can’t believe I have got through a week without my baby already , I know the first week was going to be the hardest , I’m trying to stay positive and remember the good times and all the years we had together , thank you for taking time to reply , I hope your day is blessed and you are feeling ok Your so right. It’s been a week for me as well. I think the same way. When I’m out walking I remember his spots. I thought about not coming home to his bark and his kisses when I open the door.
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