Members peggy a sad mom Posted February 7, 2018 Members Report Share Posted February 7, 2018 hi my 44 year old son passed away on jan 20 2018. today is two weeks since his wake. i hurt so much i don't know where the tears are coming from i just can't stop. as i put it drop me from a plane it won't hurt this much. he lived with me most of his life so there is no spot in my life without memories. i hear from people i will never get better and others say give it time. i've read you learn to cope with it but i just can't imagine. i scream all day for someone to please help me but it doesn't work and guess it never will. i can write all day on here about how about i miss him and don't want to live without him but from what i'm reading everyone survives. i'm just asking to please tell me if this broken heart will get better or kill me thanks peggy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dewbs Posted February 7, 2018 Members Report Share Posted February 7, 2018 Dear Peggy, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my 27 y.o. son in August. The pain is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced - not just emotional but physical as well. For the first few weeks I sincerely thought I might die from a heart attack - my chest hurt, I was frequently nauseous, and the fatigue was overwhelming. I saw my physician 3 times in the first 4 months, and I see a grief counselor weekly. It helps - you might consider one or both eventually, but, right now, I know how difficult it is just to get through the next few minutes, hours, days. It seems like time almost stops and your very existence is overwhelming grief. Sadly, this is the journey that we are on. Things are better for me after 6 months - I’m far from “over it” but being alive is more tolerable. For a long time I didn’t want to live, and it’s only recently that I feel like I can think about the future again. It’s hard, and it’s very trying. I had an epiphany one day a couple of weeks ago. I fully realized that I would be this way for the rest of my life...sad, longing for my son. At first I was really angry, and then I settled into acceptance - this my new normal and most of the time I think I can live with it. I hope you will eventually start feeling a little better. A few things that I would suggest - give yourself plenty of time to grieve. If you work, take a leave of absence if you can (I didn’t and wish I had). Allow yourself to let everything go and focus on your own healing. Do not try to be strong - you are going to feel like you are falling apart, going crazy, losing your mind, dying, and all kinds of things. It is all normal. Don’t bother with people who aren’t supportive and be around people who are willing to hold you up because it will be a long time before you are strong enough to give to others again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members peggy a sad mom Posted February 7, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted February 7, 2018 38 minutes ago, Dewbs said: Dear Peggy, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my 27 y.o. son in August. The pain is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced - not just emotional but physical as well. For the first few weeks I sincerely thought I might die from a heart attack - my chest hurt, I was frequently nauseous, and the fatigue was overwhelming. I saw my physician 3 times in the first 4 months, and I see a grief counselor weekly. It helps - you might consider one or both eventually, but, right now, I know how difficult it is just to get through the next few minutes, hours, days. It seems like time almost stops and your very existence is overwhelming grief. Sadly, this is the journey that we are on. Things are better for me after 6 months - I’m far from “over it” but being alive is more tolerable. For a long time I didn’t want to live, and it’s only recently that I feel like I can think about the future again. It’s hard, and it’s very trying. I had an epiphany one day a couple of weeks ago. I fully realized that I would be this way for the rest of my life...sad, longing for my son. At first I was really angry, and then I settled into acceptance - this my new normal and most of the time I think I can live with it. I hope you will eventually start feeling a little better. A few things that I would suggest - give yourself plenty of time to grieve. If you work, take a leave of absence if you can (I didn’t and wish I had). Allow yourself to let everything go and focus on your own healing. Do not try to be strong - you are going to feel like you are falling apart, going crazy, losing your mind, dying, and all kinds of things. It is all normal. Don’t bother with people who aren’t supportive and be around people who are willing to hold you up because it will be a long time before you are strong enough to give to others again. this is beautiful thank you so much. i had no choice but to go back to work. i get maybe 5 min peace out of 8hours. i feel everything you are writing. it just hurts so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members peggy a sad mom Posted February 7, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted February 7, 2018 i don't know what i am doing don't know if i am replying or not. but i guess it keeps me busy for a minute Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rebekahs mom Posted February 7, 2018 Members Report Share Posted February 7, 2018 Hi. I'm new to this forum. I lost my oldest daughter at age 21, December 17th/17. She was the oldest of 5 children. My life turned upside down the day the police officer came to my house to give us the news. We received a phone call to verify my address and wad told a policeman would be by the house shortly. Of course I contacted all my other children but couldn't reach my oldest. I instantly knew it was the worst case possible. Over an hour later the police officer arrived to which I said "you are here to tell me rebekah has died". His response was nodding. I will never forget that day as long as I live. We still don t know cause of death, waiting on toxicology reports. She was living in Alberta and we live in nova scotia. I had to have her shipped home for her funeral. The wake was the 22nd of December the funeral the 23rd and of course try and bluff the holidays for the other children. Just trying to connect with others going through similar situations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SAMANTHA ANT'S MA Posted February 8, 2018 Members Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 Peggy & Rebekahsmom I would like to send my deepest sympathy & condolences to you & your family. Speechless it hurts so bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rebekahs mom Posted February 8, 2018 Members Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 Thank you Samantha. I'm hoping this will help with the grieving process. It's a horrible group I never imagined joining. My condolences to you and Peggy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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