Oct. 1st will be 2 years

[LittleRenagade]

Im having a really hard time, Oct 1st will be 2 years from the day my dad died. Let me start off with a little background I guess..Right now Im 22 going to be 23 in NOV. When I was a kid my parents faught just like normal parents do, then it got worse, my mom started sleeping on the couch and they fought more..After 2 years of this I was 16 they decided to get a divorce, because they couldnt agree,they decided to sell the house that we had lived in for the past 13 years. My little brother and I moved in with my mom and my dad moved up north (about a hour /hour and a half away) we could see him whenever we wanted and my brother frequently went up for weeks at a time (school permitting).. Anyway.. during this time my father and I didnt really get along, what 17 year old gets along with there parents? we would fight, I would say stuff, he would say stuff, we would get mad and end up screaming at each other before one of us stormed off.My dad didnt approve of my boyfriend living with me @18 (my bf has been my best friend since I was 3 he called my mom and dad aunty and uncle for most of our lives).. I was so emaotionally hurt by my dad and Im sure I hurt him..I was not part of his life for about 3 years, besides getting the occasional update when my brother came to visit me at my first apartment, my dad never saw that. He had had some major heart problems in the past, his dad died of a heart attck when he was 25 his mom died of a heart attck when I was about 14, and both my brother and myself are at serious risk of heart problems. When my dad had his second heart attack, i thought it was time to make amends,then he had a small stroke..with our scheduals and him being a trucker, we didnt have time to get together,the week before he died I called him to see if he wanted to eather come and see my first apartment or we could go get some breakfast together.. He couldnt because he had to make a trucking run way way up north wich was gogint ot take hiim all week... well the next Friday he passed away in his sleep.. the EMT said his heart stopped, and he never woke up. Im crying writing this because Im just still so angry, he decided he was goign to stop taking his heart pills..and he died, I was trying so hard to get that loving relationship that we used to have, and he left me and my brother..it will be 2 years on friday and I cant get over it..any advice?

[LittleRenagade]

I forgot to add that when My father died, he was 56..having just turned 56 that may...

Im having a really hard time, Oct 1st will be 2 years from the day my dad died. Let me start off with a little background I guess..Right now Im 22 going to be 23 in NOV. When I was a kid my parents faught just like normal parents do, then it got worse, my mom started sleeping on the couch and they fought more..After 2 years of this I was 16 they decided to get a divorce, because they couldnt agree,they decided to sell the house that we had lived in for the past 13 years. My little brother and I moved in with my mom and my dad moved up north (about a hour /hour and a half away) we could see him whenever we wanted and my brother frequently went up for weeks at a time (school permitting).. Anyway.. during this time my father and I didnt really get along, what 17 year old gets along with there parents? we would fight, I would say stuff, he would say stuff, we would get mad and end up screaming at each other before one of us stormed off.My dad didnt approve of my boyfriend living with me @18 (my bf has been my best friend since I was 3 he called my mom and dad aunty and uncle for most of our lives).. I was so emaotionally hurt by my dad and Im sure I hurt him..I was not part of his life for about 3 years, besides getting the occasional update when my brother came to visit me at my first apartment, my dad never saw that. He had had some major heart problems in the past, his dad died of a heart attck when he was 25 his mom died of a heart attck when I was about 14, and both my brother and myself are at serious risk of heart problems. When my dad had his second heart attack, i thought it was time to make amends,then he had a small stroke..with our scheduals and him being a trucker, we didnt have time to get together,the week before he died I called him to see if he wanted to eather come and see my first apartment or we could go get some breakfast together.. He couldnt because he had to make a trucking run way way up north wich was gogint ot take hiim all week... well the next Friday he passed away in his sleep.. the EMT said his heart stopped, and he never woke up. Im crying writing this because Im just still so angry, he decided he was goign to stop taking his heart pills..and he died, I was trying so hard to get that loving relationship that we used to have, and he left me and my brother..it will be 2 years on friday and I cant get over it..any advice?

[ModKonnie]

Im having a really hard time, Oct 1st will be 2 years from the day my dad died. Let me start off with a little background I guess..Right now Im 22 going to be 23 in NOV. When I was a kid my parents faught just like normal parents do, then it got worse, my mom started sleeping on the couch and they fought more..After 2 years of this I was 16 they decided to get a divorce, because they couldnt agree,they decided to sell the house that we had lived in for the past 13 years. My little brother and I moved in with my mom and my dad moved up north (about a hour /hour and a half away) we could see him whenever we wanted and my brother frequently went up for weeks at a time (school permitting).. Anyway.. during this time my father and I didnt really get along, what 17 year old gets along with there parents? we would fight, I would say stuff, he would say stuff, we would get mad and end up screaming at each other before one of us stormed off.My dad didnt approve of my boyfriend living with me @18 (my bf has been my best friend since I was 3 he called my mom and dad aunty and uncle for most of our lives).. I was so emaotionally hurt by my dad and Im sure I hurt him..I was not part of his life for about 3 years, besides getting the occasional update when my brother came to visit me at my first apartment, my dad never saw that. He had had some major heart problems in the past, his dad died of a heart attck when he was 25 his mom died of a heart attck when I was about 14, and both my brother and myself are at serious risk of heart problems. When my dad had his second heart attack, i thought it was time to make amends,then he had a small stroke..with our scheduals and him being a trucker, we didnt have time to get together,the week before he died I called him to see if he wanted to eather come and see my first apartment or we could go get some breakfast together.. He couldnt because he had to make a trucking run way way up north wich was gogint ot take hiim all week... well the next Friday he passed away in his sleep.. the EMT said his heart stopped, and he never woke up. Im crying writing this because Im just still so angry, he decided he was goign to stop taking his heart pills..and he died, I was trying so hard to get that loving relationship that we used to have, and he left me and my brother..it will be 2 years on friday and I cant get over it..any advice?

Hi LittleRenagade,

I am so sorry about the passing of your father. There are things we'd all like to change about how we dealt with a situation, or what we said or didn't say to a person, but sometimes we can't. You were young and hurt when your father left. I have a 17 year old that doesn't like me very much at times right now, but I know that later on down the road, she will. I'm sure your father understood what was going on with you.

Are you angry because he passed away before you could patch things up and return to your loving relationship? Or are you angry that you didn't have time to get together? Or is it a combination of everything?

I'm sure he knew you loved him; just as he never stopped loving you despite the hurt or pain you both experienced.

I'd like to welcome you here. There are people here who will be able to offer better advice, and there are people here ready to listen to what you want to tell us. Thank you for sharing your story.

ModKonnie