Members Sammi Posted February 1, 2018 Members Report Share Posted February 1, 2018 My beautiful greyhound ..died alone in the night.. I’m totally heart broken.. I feel so guilty! Something woke me in the night, I lay there listening thinking she may be crying to go out for wee.. but all was quiet and I just fell back to sleep . I can’t stop thinking if this was her that made the noise and I didn’t do anything .. she was all alone . I didn’t comfort her and tell her I loved her so so much . What if she was suffering .. I can’t bear it . I don’t know what do . I wish I could tell her I’m sorry for letting her down and I love her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AJWCat Posted February 1, 2018 Members Report Share Posted February 1, 2018 Oh no Sammi, I am so sorry for your loss. How shocking for you.... was she sick? Please do not worry - she knows how much she was loved! It sounds like she was in your house though? So at least safe and you knew where she was. I know that is of little consolation but I like to look for the positives. Please do not feel any guilt, you deserve to grieve your loss without feeling bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Eve melboy Posted February 1, 2018 Members Report Share Posted February 1, 2018 Oh your post breaks my heart..i feel your pain. My dear loyal loving cat max died today....we love our fur babies as much as any family member..they get inside our heart...i think however they die we will feel guilt.. you were not meant to know..... wishing you peace and sharing your pain x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sammi Posted February 1, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted February 1, 2018 22 minutes ago, Eve melboy said: Oh your post breaks my heart..i feel your pain. My dear loyal loving cat max died today....we love our fur babies as much as any family member..they get inside our heart...i think however they die we will feel guilt.. you were not meant to know..... wishing you peace and sharing your pain x I’m so sorry for your loss .. sending you big hugs xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sammi Posted February 1, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted February 1, 2018 20 minutes ago, AJWCat said: Oh no Sammi, I am so sorry for your loss. How shocking for you.... was she sick? Please do not worry - she knows how much she was loved! It sounds like she was in your house though? So at least safe and you knew where she was. I know that is of little consolation but I like to look for the positives. Please do not feel any guilt, you deserve to grieve your loss without feeling bad. She was old .. yes she was at home .. she use to sleep upstairs but she became incontinent, so had to let her sleep down stairs I feel so bad .. thankyou for your kind words xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AJWCat Posted February 1, 2018 Members Report Share Posted February 1, 2018 Oh sweet girl, I know you feel bad but you didn't do anything wrong. What a shock though. I hope you are doing okay. Let yourself cry and grieve, but one thing you do not deserve is guilt! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MyMocha Posted February 2, 2018 Members Report Share Posted February 2, 2018 @Sammi How sad for you and your furry friend. Guilt is a part of grief. I think most, if not all, have had to find a way to get through the complex emotions that arise when we lose our companion. It is hard no matter how it happens. Whether you are right by their side, not home, or upstairs. It hurts no matter what the circumstances. She knew you were not far and it doesn't seem like her suffering was long - if there was any at all. Even in situations where you get the chance to say what you want to say, it isn't enough. We hurt terribly when they leave us. Sorry for your loss, we have all been there and I haven't met anyone here who doesn't still love and miss their friend no matter how short or long the time is. Hugs to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 2, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted February 2, 2018 Sammi, I am so sorry for your loss. I had a Whippet, and there is a greyhound refuge down the street, so I am fond of them, wonderful dogs. You are feeling bad because she died alone, but sometimes animals want to be alone to die, it's part of their instinct so they can do so in peace and not have to be concerned about someone else. She knew you love her. Oh that their bodies wouldn't give out and we could have them forever! This is the lament of each one of us. But we will...I truly believe that with all my heart, we will be together again...all that has gone is their body but their spirit lives on. I know it's not the same as getting to hold her. I lost my husband, many pets, both parents, niece, nephew, friends, oh so many...I have learned this is part of our life, unbidden, unwanted, but it comes all the same, and I've learned to continue in faith that we will be together again. Sometimes we cry out, like the story of the little boy that said he wanted God with skin on...we want our people, our pets, with skin on! We miss them so much, we liked things the way they were. It feels unbearable that we should have to go on without them, but amazingly we adjust as much as anyone can, and we get used to the changes this means to our lives. It doesn't always stay in this intensity of pain, thankfully, we couldn't bear it if it did! We continue to miss them, there were special to us and always will be. (((hugs))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Posted February 3, 2018 Guests Report Share Posted February 3, 2018 Sammi, that is so so sad but as MyMocha rightly said guilt is part of grief, it's it's best friend. Even if you had gone down when you heard the noise you would absolutely still feel guilt but you have nothing to feel guilty about. I have battled with guilt over my girl Ava, but what I realise is that our furbabies know they are loved and one of the reasons we bond so deeply with them is because they accept us flaws and imperfections and all, they accept our failings without judgement or blame. So your baby would not blame you for not going down to her, she would know that she was loved regardless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 3, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted February 3, 2018 I like these articles on grief (pet loss) and guilt:http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml I hope you find something helpful in them, I have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sammi Posted February 4, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted February 4, 2018 Thankyou everyone .. your all lovely .. I felt like no one understood . But I was wrong and I’m so sorry for all your losses .. love to you all xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Furbabies09 Posted February 4, 2018 Members Report Share Posted February 4, 2018 I am so sorry for your loss. Lossing our crybabies is heartbreaking. We start to play the what if game and the guilt comes on. The heartache and sadness comes along with it. We feel your pain. We are here for you. She was loved and cared for, she knew that. As others have said, they like to hide when they are passing. So try not to feel guilty. I know its easier said than done. Just know we're all here. Hugs to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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