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My dad committed suicide January 2, 2018.  Hell of a way to begin a year. My dad and I had our problems like any other family and we didn’t communicate much, but we did care about each other.  But if there is one thing that bugs me it is unanswered questions.  What was he thinking as he planned his exit from this world?  As it was happening, what was going through his mind?  What could have been so bad that this was the only way?  I hate this for my brother and sister because they were closer to him but I am starting to realize that he meant more to me than I thought.  (We had the same personality so we kind of clashed but he was a great dad.  I never felt neglected or unsafe at any point in my childhood.). It’s like I don’t know what issue to tackle first.  It’s like a  fog that surrounds you while you try to navigate through your daily routine.  

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