I lost my 18 year-old cat

[vinomadefied]

2 days ago we put my beloved cat, who was 9 months older than me, down. I grew up with her, I didn't have one day where she was not in my life but I lost her now. The pain is unbearable. I still can't believe she is gone... I don't want to believe it... I can't stop thinking about her. I can still see her big green eyes when I close my eyes. She'd always sleep on my bed right next to me. She was the first thing I saw in the morning. But she's not here. I miss her so much... Our memories come flooding back constantly and they hurt so much that I can't breathe. Today I listened every song that I listened with her. She was my best friend, my biggest support.. I can't imagine my life without her. Her birthday is on 8th february and I already bought a present for her... I don't want to get used to her absence. I want to be with her, kiss her and hug her as tight as I can till she bites me... She had the best personality. She was the best cat I've ever seen. She was the best thing that ever happened to me... How can I live without her?

[MyMocha]

Oh I am so sorry you had to say bye to your life long furry friend. So so heartbreaking. It is so very painful and we all understand. 18 years is such a great long life and so hard to adjust to their absence. It will get easier...in time. Feel free to visit here as often as needed. You will soon see you are among friends who know exactly how you feel. Big hugs

[Furbabies09]

I am so sorry for your loss. You are among people who understand what you are going through. We lost our boy Jacob on the 25th of January. It's very difficult dealing with the emotions that come and go that's why I come on here for support or to give support to others. Just know that we are all here for you. We are from all over the world and someone is always on here, so you're never alone. Feel free to share your memories with us if it makes you feel better.

Sending hugs and love your way. ❤️

[AJWCat]

My heart breaks for you. We know how much pain you are in. It is so difficult to lose our pets. The first few days are very shocking. 

Your bond with your sweet kitty was very deep, and so the grief also is profound. I wish that I could say something that would make you feel a little better. I lost my cat over five months ago ans I still miss him. But it does get better. I know it does not feel like it, you will recover from this and be okay. Give yourself time to grieve and cry. Let it out. Wishing you peace. 

[KayC]

@vinomadefied  I am so sorry for your loss.  I am going through anticipatory loss of my older sister right now and I feel as you do, I've never known a day in my life without her, and it's hard, it's like a new era and not a welcoming one at that.  

I lost my husband over 12 years ago and wrote this article based on what I've learned during that 12 year journey.  I know the relationship is different but grief is grief and the closest loss I've had to my husband were my pets.  The bond is incredible.  If you can glean even one thing that would help you from these tips, I'd welcome that.

TIPS TO MAKE YOUR WAY THROUGH GRIEF

There's no way to sum up how to go on in a simple easy answer, but I encourage you to read the other threads here, little by little you will learn how to make your way through this.  I do want to give you some pointers though, of some things I've learned on my journey.

• Take one day at a time.  The Bible says each day has enough trouble of it's own, I've found that to be true, so don't bite off more than you can chew.  It can be challenging enough just to tackle today.  I tell myself, I only have to get through today.  Then I get up tomorrow and do it all over again.  To think about the "rest of my life" invites anxiety.
• Don't be afraid, grief may not end but it evolves.  The intensity lessens eventually.
• Visit your doctor.  Tell them about your loss, any troubles sleeping, suicidal thoughts, anxiety attacks.  They need to know these things in order to help you through it...this is all part of grief.
• Suicidal thoughts are common in early grief.  If they're reoccurring, call a suicide hotline.  I felt that way early on, but then realized it wasn't that I wanted to die so much as I didn't want to go through what I'd have to face if I lived.  Back to taking a day at a time.
• Try not to isolate too much.  
• There's a balance to reach between taking time to process our grief, and avoiding it...it's good to find that balance for yourself.  We can't keep so busy as to avoid our grief, it has a way of haunting us, finding us, and demanding we pay attention to it!  Some people set aside time every day to grieve.  I didn't have to, it searched and found me!
• Self-care is extremely important, more so than ever.  That person that would have cared for you is gone, now you're it...learn to be your own best friend, your own advocate, practice self-care.  You'll need it more than ever.
• Recognize that your doctor isn't trained in grief, find a professional grief counselor that is.  We need help finding ourselves through this maze of grief, knowing where to start, etc.  They have not only the knowledge, but the resources.]
• In time, consider a grief support group.  If your friends have not been through it themselves, they may not understand what you're going through, it helps to find someone somewhere who DOES "get it". 
• Be patient, give yourself time.  There's no hurry or timetable about cleaning out belongings, etc.  They can wait, you can take a year, ten years, or never deal with it.  It's okay, it's what YOU are comfortable with that matters.  
• Know that what we are comfortable with may change from time to time.  That first couple of years I put his pictures up, took them down, up, down, depending on whether it made me feel better or worse.  Finally, they were up to stay.
• Consider a pet.  Not everyone is a pet fan, but I've found that my dog helps immensely.  It's someone to love, someone to come home to, someone happy to see me, someone that gives me a purpose...I have to come home and feed him.  Besides, they're known to relieve stress.  Well maybe not in the puppy stage when they're chewing up everything, but there's older ones to adopt if you don't relish that stage.
• Make yourself get out now and then.  You may not feel interest in anything, things that interested you before seem to feel flat now.  That's normal.  Push yourself out of your comfort zone just a wee bit now and then.  Eating out alone, going to a movie alone or church alone, all of these things are hard to do at first.  You may feel you flunked at it, cried throughout, that's okay, you did it, you tried, and eventually you get a little better at it.  If I waited until I had someone to do things with I'd be stuck at home a lot.
• Keep coming here.  We've been through it and we're all going through this together.
• Look for joy in every day.  It will be hard to find at first, but in practicing this, it will change your focus so you can embrace what IS rather than merely focusing on what ISN'T.  It teaches you to live in the present and appreciate fully.  You have lost your big joy in life, and all other small joys may seem insignificant in comparison, but rather than compare what used to be to what is, learn the ability to appreciate each and every small thing that comes your way...a rainbow, a phone call from a friend, unexpected money, a stranger smiling at you, whatever the small joy, embrace it.  It's an art that takes practice and is life changing if you continue it.
• Eventually consider volunteering.  It helps us when we're outward focused, it's a win/win.

(((hugs))) Praying for you today.