Members TeamX76 Posted September 21, 2010 Members Report Share Posted September 21, 2010 Firstly, I have just joined this community after reading several other peoples stories. I would like to offer my sympathies to everyone reading this as you are all here for the same reason I am. We have all lost someone, either it happened years ago or recently that loss is still with us. I feel for all of you, and I would like to offer my ear(or my eyes in this case) to anyone who needs someone to talk to. I'm posting this topic so that people will know the story and struggle of my father, who sadly passed away on the 31st of July 2010. My father was a kind and gentle soul, humor till the end, he never complained about his condition unless it was in regards to not being able to do things himself and with his kids, myself and my brother and sister.15 years ago he was diagnosed with chronic pancreatitis, he was given less than a year but he struggled on to see us grow up, due to his condition he later was diagnosed with MRSA gained from several operations, diabetes, Addisons and last year liver cerroshis. On the 23rd of July my brother, aged 24 got married. The next day my father envoked his advanced directive, he refused treatment and feed, including pain meds. He died a week later.This shows his strength and power of will and determination to see out his original goals which were to see us grow up and one of us get married. The fact that it only took a week shows that the past 15 years have been a monumental struggle for him. And I thank him for that, so very much. My birthday was on the 9th of august, his funeral was the day after, that however I don't thank him for!(the bastard!!). I'm 23 years of age now, I'm sad you dint see me turn it.I was very close with my dad, closer than my siblings were and I can honestly say if it wasn't for his illness I would not have been, his condition required us to care for him which he hated very much. We would just tell him to shut up and get on with it, obviously we were happy to care for him. It was his birthday last week, he would have been 54. I find myself at a complete loss, I spoke with him every day and laughed with him everyday. It's only been just under 2 months and I'm told it's a short time in the scheme of things but it feels like an eternity has passed. I find myself dreading future milestones in my life without him, he gave me strength and courage because of everything he has been through. I'm also very sorry that I am partly responsible for him suffering for 15 years, I feel as if it wasn't for us 3 he would have let go a long time ago.I also know that thats stupid, and it's not my fault, if anything we were his strength and his motivation to keep going. I'm glad he died on his own terms, at the same time that kills me, that he chose to die. I would like to finish this letter with a thank you to him:Dad, thank you for being my dad, and my best friend. Thank you for all that you have given me and the strength and wisdom to live the life I've lived. I hope you are happy where ever you are, I hope grandad hasn't giving you a hiding for choosing to die. Don't worry about us, we will be okay, after all we are your kids. I apologise for being upset, I know you would call me a tart but I can't help that. I'll think of you every day, every obstacle I have I'll think of your struggle and I'll push on. I miss you very much. All my love, Andrew Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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