Jump to content
Forum Conduct & Guidelines Document ×

advice needed


Brody

Recommended Posts

  • Members

Hi all,

I am new thos board. Nearly two weeks ago, a co-worker whom I've known for nearly 20 years lost his 2o year old daugher in an accident. It is absolutley the saddest thing that has ever happened to someone that I know. Now, we are basically aquaintances - we like eachother as nice guys and all, but as we have always worked in different departments, we never really talked beyond the genreal "how are you doing." My heart breaks for what he and his family are going through. After the wake Monday night, I couldn't sleep, and I went on line looking at differnet sympathy/condolence gitfs. I found a candleholder

candleholder that I could have inscribed. I wrote "from the hearts of those who care, always in our thoughts and prayers." I thought that would be the only thing on the candleholder, but it came today and the saying on the website was above it -

" Gone but not forgotten, though we're apert, your spirit lives within us, forever in our hearts" A beautiful saying for sure, but I'm not sure if it is appropriate / too personal coming from a non family member .

I asked several friends for their opinion, most felt it was appropriate - that it is a gift for them to remember their daughter, and when they light it, it will reflect their sentiments. One friend - whose opinion I really value, thought it was inapproraite.

The link below will bring you to the candleholder. What do you think?

Thanks,,

Brody

http://www.personalcreations.com/shop/product.asp?product_code=8G162

Hi,

I would personally be touched by the fact that people I never even knew cared apparently did, so I don't think it would be inappropriate. I think it shows what a kind, caring person you truly are.

Konnie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Brody

I think your candel holder is an excellent idea. Believe me when I say that your friend will not be able to go into the thought process of "Wow this is too personnal" He will be lucky to get the words "Thank you" out of his mouth.

You are a good friend. Give the candel holder to him.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
heartbeataway

The candle holder is a thoughtful very appropriate gift.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Newbie

What a good friend you are. Please do not ask him how he is doing. When someone askes me How I am Doing, I would respond "I am standing upright and breathing."

Say "I have been thinking of you and your family" Something that is a statement and not a question. We know how he is doing, terrible!!!

I always like "I said a pray for you and your family on Sunday - Did you feel it?" When I was in the throws of my grief (1st year), I could feel the prayers for us. If you have a good one-liner joke that can bring a smile to his face for even a minute. Or a funny story that happened to you on the way to work that day -that is good too. Also, do not be afraid to say the name of his child that died. That childs name is music to our ears.

Also, please tell him about us. We would welcome him as we do with all newly bereaved parents.

Thanks for taking the time to ask how to deal with a bereaved parent. Not many do take that time and it can be very painful for us.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.