Members Saitaina Posted September 4, 2010 Members Report Share Posted September 4, 2010 My mother died earlier this morning...she had killed herself.I thought I had handled it well, I cried yeah, but I had been able to pull myself together and get things taken care of....I just woke up screaming from a nightmare, terrified out of my mind, screaming for my mother...except, she never came and now I'm still scared, I can't stop shaking and I can't stop crying.I...I don't know what I'm doing. I'm an only child who has relied on my mother for everything (and visa versa), I used to joke, that since we lived with each other for twenty-nine years, we outlasted most married couples...but nothing has prepared me for this. I...I don't even know what the hell I'm suppsosed to be doing, how I'm going to take care of her affairs. I want....I want to be five again, with mommy taking care of everything. I don't want to be sitting here in a cold, lonely house that I can't afford, trying to figure out how I'm going to survive period, let alone survive the grieving process. I'm sorry if I sound like a whiney child, I really had no one but my mother in my life and now that she's gone, I feel very alone and confused. Probably doesn't help that thanks to certain past issues, I'm not as emotionally mature as my physical age...I try, but it was always so much easier with the safety net of mom to fall back on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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