How to live after the loss of my child

[eamurphree]

I suddenly lost my adult daughter, age 52 on July 21, 2010, due to health complications; although she lived independently, she was both physically and mentally challenge. The time between July 21, 2010 and today August 15, 2010 floats somewhere on the warm Wisconsin wind, falls from the sky as raindrops or surrounds me as prison walls with no chance to escape. I cannot breathe most times, let alone function; in search of “something”, “anything”, I found this sites forum. How do I get the air from my troth into my lungs, I have slept only minutes at a time since her death, are there others who have had such loss in this forum, how do I live again, or do I want too.

[Guest msnher]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter! My 28 yr old daughter, Stephanie, died from injuries sustained in an ATV accident on 8-9-09. She left behind three young children whom my husband and I are now raising. The beginning of this new journey through grief is extremely difficult, just as you've described. It will soften, in time. There is a more active thread with more who have been where you are. Please come to "The Loss Of An Adult Child" thread where you will find support, validation and non-judgement. Those beautiful people saved my life at a time when I didn't think I could go on anymore.

[mikesmomrs]

I am so very sorry for the loss of your daughter...we here all know the pain and grief you are experiencing...so new to this journey...it is difficult to breathe, eat or sleep. We will help you find your way on this journey...the people here at "Loss of An Adult Child" have all been through these early stages...some are almost as new as you are...some have been here much longer...we each give to another, and when the need is there, we take from one another, the strength to wake up each day, to find something in that day to give us the motivation to hope for the next day. Please join us there...you will find comfort, understanding, and a place that allows you to speak your pain, share your daughter and feel welcome.

I lost my son, Mike, at the age of 31, to brain cancer, Oct 14, 2006. Those early days were such a mix of very painful emotions...the pain is always there, but over time, it does "soften" to the point where we don't have to tell ourselves every day to breathe...the pain-filled memories become laced with the sweeter ones, and we find comfort in our memories that, in gte beginning, we didn't think we ever could again.

love and peace, carol mikesmomrs

[mikesmum]

Newbie - What you describe is univeral when we lose a child. "How can I still be living, I can't breath"? The age of our child is irrelevant, the loss is overwhelming at a level we never knew existed.

I will tell you what helped me on my early days. Knowing this was a site where everyone got me. The breathing, well, it will happen, but like trying to breath after being hit by a truck, it won't be easy. Taking one day at a time, one hour or one minute if need be.

I found taking time to remember my son Micheal was more than that last day eased my broken heart more than I thought. And time, it might not heal all wounds, but it allows us to find our new normal.

Take care - Trudi

[hotrod]

Dear Newbie

A very sad welcome to this wonderful oasis. I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter and truly understand all the emotions you are feeling and have expressed. You have been given such sound advise from Mom's who know the pain and depth of your sadness.

Please try to take it easy, take care of you, sleep when you can and come here often if only to read.

I lost my only son Stephen, 3 years ago and this site kept me sane. On days when I thought I could not go on, I came here and read and read.

Stephen was 41 years old, he was my life, my treasure, my reason for living. I have found I can go on one day at a time, honoring and, speaking his name, and finding moments of peace from the sadness that once nearly destroyed me.

Please keep coming back.

[ericasmom]

Dear Newbie,

this new road is a very difficult one, you already know that, so do come back and let us hold your hands as you learn to find your way. We all were in your same place on this path at some point. The advice given is excellent and comes straight from the heart, all of the hearts once shattered as yours is, but slowly reconstructed and still beating. WE all wondered why our hearts still beat when our Childrens' hearts could not, but we find that we must still have a job on this Earth. And so we live as best we can in the light and the love of our Child.

I lost Erica 7 years ago. She was 19.

our hearts,

dee

[ModKonnie]

I suddenly lost my adult daughter, age 52 on July 21, 2010, due to health complications; although she lived independently, she was both physically and mentally challenge. The time between July 21, 2010 and today August 15, 2010 floats somewhere on the warm Wisconsin wind, falls from the sky as raindrops or surrounds me as prison walls with no chance to escape. I cannot breathe most times, let alone function; in search of “something”, “anything”, I found this sites forum. How do I get the air from my troth into my lungs, I have slept only minutes at a time since her death, are there others who have had such loss in this forum, how do I live again, or do I want too.

Hi,

I am deeply sorry for your loss. There are wonderful people here who have been where you are at and can offer you advice and comfort in this difficult journey. I hope you are able to get a bit of rest here and there, and I am sure you will find support and caring from our members who have suffered similar experiences.

You have my warmest wishes,

Konnie

[krichie]

eamurphee ----------I am also so sorry for your lost, you have discribed what many of us have gone thru and some of us are still going thru. I lost my son Richie 10/5/09 he was killed by a drunk driver and leaves behind a young daughter with kidney problems. I still have days I can not think or function, where it is hard to get air into my lungs and often wonder if I really want to keep trying to breathe. We are all still here because suicide is probably to scary or a bigger sin or just to much effort and we all know it does not solve the real issue or bring back our loved one. No matter if we have other family or friends we are needed here on earth by someone or for some reason. Try to relax and let the memories and the crying and the pain come, becuase those memories also bring a little happiness and a little peace. I am only almost a year into this journey and it has not gotten any easier just smoother there are days and hours where I feel almost part of the human race again and I can think of Richie more often with out falling to the ground crying.

They say time heals all wounds, this wound we all suffer will never heal completely , we will be left with a scare and pain for ever but it will not be as bad as the first days or the first weeks.

Drink, eat be a robot, but fuel yourself and come here and tell us about your daughter, her likes-her joys-her achievments ect....talking and writing does help so share her with us.