Loss of a baby

[Adraggon]

Hello,

My little baby girl died two weeks ago. She was a preemie born at 24 weeks. She was so strong but got an infection that her little body couldn't handle. She was one month old when she died. I feel like I am going crazy. I miss her so much. At times I still can't believe she is gone, she was doing so well. I don't understand why this happened and I am trying so hard to.

I just keep thinking of moments that could have been changed so she would still be here now. And I think of all the things I will never get to do with my daughter. I hate this!

Just needed to share.

Thank you.

[jefferysmommy]

Hi Shreyasmom,

I am so sorry for your loss, you are still very early in your loss and I am so glad that you have found this site, there are many people here, that understand the loss of a child. I lost my baby Jeffery, he was 2 months and 1 week, not much older than your sweet angel. Jeffery passed away from SIDS and it has been almost 15 years and I still miss him every day, the first few years after Jeffery had passed it was tough, I felt numb, as if a part of me had died along with him. As the years have gone by, the pain has never gone away, but the edges have softened some, and though I still have sad days, they are further apart.

Please come and post on the thread Loss of an Adult Child, this thread seems to be the most active and there are many people that understand and know just what you are going through.

This is a journey no one wants to be on, and again, you have come to the right place.

May peace be with you, friend.

Jenn - Jeffery's Mommy

[Adraggon]

Thank you Jenn,

For your post. I can't tell you how much it means. I am so sorry for the loss of your little Jeffery.

Sometimes I get the feeling that some people who haven't experienced the loss of a child, feel that losing a little baby doesn't hurt or feel as painful as losing an older child. I don't have any other other children, but this pain is unbearable. I spend all day fighting back a flood of thoughts and feelings and whne they finally overtake me I feel in such torture that I don't know what to do with myself.

I will check out the other thread. Seeing the support people give to others provides a degree of comfort. So many of my firends and fmaily care deeply but can not understand and it feels so lonely.

It is two weeks to the day Shreya passed away and I miss my little girl so.

Thank you,

Angira - Shreya's Mom.

[westleysmom]

Angira-I saw your post yesterday, but had internet trouble last night. I wanted to think about what to say to you that might be comforting, but I never lost a baby or small child and didn't know what to say. I know that losing a child at any time is the worst thing that can happen to a parent, and I'm so sorry it happened to you. Jenn is right, the loss of adult child title is deceiving. There are parents who've lost little babies and younger kids too, but we all understand. It has been 7 months today since my 20 year old son Westley died, and it seems like a bad dream every single moment. This site has helped me so much, though, and I'm sure it will help you. All of us have had our dreams for our children dashed and we know what you are going through.

Peace and Hugs to you.

Rhonda Westley's Mom

[Adraggon]

Thank you Rhonda,

I am so sorry for the loss of your son, Westley. I have been reading the other thread and I find such comfort in the hope and support I see. I plan to summon my courage and strength to introduce myself. At times now I cant even care to think or move. But I wanted to thank you for your reply.

Angira - Shreya's Mom

[westleysmom]

You're welcome, sweetie. You have been through so much in the last six weeks or so. I hope you are getting enough rest and are taking care of yourself, even if you don't feel like it right now. I will be thinking of you and your angel and wish you peace.

Rhonda Westley's Mom

[Lost without my boy]

Angira - Shreya's Mom,

I am so sorry for your loss. I am proud of you forbeing able to get on the computer and seek help. This is my first postingsince, I lost my son, Christopher, 10 months and 3 days ago. It has been almostimpossible to get through, but as you will I have done so.

I saw in one of your posts that you spend timetrying to fight back a flood of thoughts and pain, my suggestion to you is tonot fight. Let yourself feel and think. Don't let others dictate when youshould feel different things. Let yourself work through this terrible ordeal(that no one should ever have to deal with) at your own pace. I refuse to letmy family, friends and even my husband set expectations for me.

No one knows my little boy like I do. He wasdiagnosed at 20 gestation with having a cyst in his right lung, we went tochildren's hospital in Philly for 16 weeks for 1-2 visits per week and he wasborn on 9/25 via a very extensive surgery that delivered him, but only afterthey removed the cyst while he was still attached to the umbilical cord. Hecame through the surgery with flying colors, but unfortunately his left lunghad not developed correctly because the cyst compressed the lung against hischest wall. He lived for 26 days and after 12 surgeries to try and support hislife he left us on 10/21.

I have searched support groups (which have helpedme a little) and books for answers to the questions that we all have askedourselves. Not until yesterday did I read anything that helped me. I am notsure what your beliefs are and I would never suggest you change, but the book“The Silent Loss” by Cindy Kludt Spock, helped me more than anything to date. Ihope that when you are ready to read it, it will bring you a few moments ofcomfort.

My prayers and thoughts are with you and yourfamily.

Michelle – Angel CJ’s mom

[jefferysmommy]

Hi Angira,

I wanted to send you this quick post and let you know that I was thinking about you. I do understand where you are coming from, because our babies were only here for a short period of time, but no matter if you delievered still born, or you watched your 90 year old child die of natural causes, we as parents will feel the same grief. It is unnatural for us to live beyond our children, regardless of what their ages are.

I hope that you are well and staying healthy. This is the time to be good to yourself.

Thinking of you, and praying that you have peace.