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ALMOST A YEAR


krichie

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I POSTED THIS ON WRONG FOROM SO WILL REPOST AND THANK YOU WESLEYS MOM FOR YOU WORDS

 

The anniversary of my sons death is fast approaching I find myself in such shock that this much time has passed. As I talk to friends and family about typical life events I have to stop because I find myself saying "just last month he did this" or " He was just telling me such and such" I then realize it was not last month it was almost a year ago that I heard his voice and saw his smile.

How the hell did a year go by when it seemed like just yesturday he was here with us and we were so happy. I have been on auto pilot for so long and still can not control myself, every where I look anything I touch is Richie.

I read how others are going thru the same emotions and yet I still say they can't hurt as much as I do, There child was not like mine even tho I know deep inside they are hurting the same and thier child was just as precious as mine.

Richie was killed by a drunk driver Oct 5 of 2009, he had just talked to us on phone telling us he loved us and was heading home and would see us in the morning as he works with his Dad. Not evan 5 minutes later a neighbor called and said he was in an accident. We were at the scene in less then 3 minutes since it was just down the street from our house. We were not allowed close to him as they worked on him, life flight was in the area and was there fast, I could hear the ambulance people telling him not to fight them they were there to help, so that gave me hope he was alive and fighting to stay that way. We had to stand back yelling from a distance that we were there and we loved him.

I could make out his legs and see his chest between the people as they worked on him, then I was in the car on way to hospital to meet the flight when it got there. I don't know how long we were in waiting room But I knew the minute the doctor walked in, my prayers were not answered. I had to be the strong one for the family and keep it togather. I could not break down- I am not sure if this was what helped me get thru that night or not.

I had to ask myself later did I not pray hard enough, did I not promise  to do the right things, what could Ihave done to save my boy.

I still can not see me going thru life with out him. I get his daughter on the weekends but she is so only 3 and is already forgetting him. I can never forget. I still cry every day. My heart still feels like someone is squeesing it and I still find it hard to breathe.

enough for now. thanks for listening

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krichie - I offer you the saddest of welcomes!  I'm so sorry for the loss of your son, Richie.  Please join us on The Loss Of An Adult child thread...it is the one with over 600,000 posts.  To post there, just hit "reply" at the top of the screen and your post will be seen by all.  If you hit new topic it takes you out of our thread.

My name is Susannah.  My 28 year old daughter, Stephanie, died in an ATV accident on August 9, 2009.  She lost control of the four-wheeler, crashed into a barbed wire fence, slit her throat and died instantly.  Besides her parents and siblings she left behind three young children, whom we are now raising.

I absolutely understand your questioning how a whole year has passed.  I feel the same way.  I think it's because, for me, time stood still that day.

I hope you will join us on the adult child thread.  Like Rhonda said, there are many regulars there who understand.  You will find support, validation and comfort.  It's a terrible thing that any of us have to be on this journey....at least we don't have to travel it alone.

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

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Thank you for the welcome, not a site I thaught I would find myself on. I have tried to read thru post from you and others but my heart just can't take to much more today. I feel a little better that I put some thaughts up and will read and post more.

I am so sorry about your daughter,Stephanie I wish there was more I could say but as you know there is not. It is sometime nice just to see there names written down again and to say them out loud, so many people avoid that. I miss hearing and saying his name.

it seems like every time I say Richie people start to shut down, its not like I am gonna drag up all the sarrow I just would like to remember some found memories and share them with my family. Damn it! Richie lived and was a big part of all our lives we should be able to say his name and remember him with love and happiness, like we do with the living members of our family.

Sorry went off on a little tangent. It seems I do my crying and talking to myself but I see I am not alone others are in the same boat I just figured it was time to maybe reach out and grasp a hold of others that are going thru this and maybe we all can reach the other shore

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Dear Members,

We are excited to mention that we are moving to a more new and improved message boards on MONDAY MORNING AUGUST 9th! The boards will be done for a few hours while we are making the conversation. Remember we posted information about this move a month ago. For some of you this might seem a bit sudden,  but when we were reviewing the site we determined the current message board you are using is out of date and the company that designed it is no longer in existence. The good news is this new message board will have new features that have been requested in the past like more fields we can add to your profiles and a chat room up to 20 people at one time. If we find the chat room is bursting at the seams we will add additional room for extra people. All your old posts, private messages and such will be migrated to the new message board. You might have to put up your profile picture again but not sure. The new company will be doing the migration for us. Here is a short list of some of the new features on the board:

- Custom Profile Fields- Users can customize their profile pages by selecting a background color or background image, with tiling options.- Facebook and Twitter Integration- users can respond to multiple posts at once with "mini-quote"- Pinned discussion threads - like welcome to our board etc.- Announcements made across some boards or the entire message board- Search: Users can easily find all content generated by a particular member, by clicking the 'Find Content' button that appears on the main profile page, or in the Mini Profile Popup which can be accessed throughout the board. The results page allows content to be filtered by application, as well whether the member created it or merely participated in it. - Privacy: allows users to sign in anonymously, hiding them from the online users list. Users also have the option to disable personal conversations and user-to-user emails, as well as ignore other users if necessary.

The next exciting piece of news about the new message board is it will have a new domain name of www.grieving.com for search engine optimization purposes. It will still be apart of Beyond Indigo and can be found through www.beyondindigo.com. We will be redirecting your current URL's to this new domain name but we might miss a few. If that is the case simply go back to www.grieving.com or www.beyondindigo.com to find your message board thread. We will try to make the transition as seamless as possible. 

The bottom line is the new board will give us room to grow our community and more options to interact better with each other. 

If you have any questions please direct them to feedback@beyondindigo.com

Kelly Baltzell, MACEO/PresidentBeyond Indigo Family

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A year is appoaching for me and I know the pain you are going thru. Seems like just yesterday to me also, I talked to my son Trent the day before he died and he was so up beat that day some things in his life had been hard for a few months he was laid off and trying to find work he thought he had a job lined up would find out the next week. He was having trouble making his house payments but the bank had just called and was willing to work with him on that so he was having a good day. We live in fl and him in ind so didnt see him often but talked about every other day. He would always say Love you mom before we hung up oh how I miss those words. He died of carbon monixide poison the next morning. No one found him for two days that just kills me to know he was alone then. He had a 5 yr old daughter who was the light of his life she is just now talking about her daddy she will say when she does something that daddy would be proud of me and oh how he would have. I just hope we can keep his memory alive for her and that she never forgets how much her daddy loved her. Holidays are going to be so hard for me this year almost glad im 1200 miles away from the rest of the family so I dont put a damper on their holiday season. Trent died 12/9/2009 a day I will never forget and just hope I can get thru this year. One day at a time is what everyone tells me so that is what I try to do. I wish you the best and sometimes it is just nice to put things down in writting . Just knowing people are here that cares helps some what . God Bless and take care Konnie

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Konnie- We welcome you to this site there are many others feeling like you are and understand what you are going through. Please join us on The Loss Of An Adult child thread...it is the one where most of us post and respond.

My name is Crystal and my daughter Ashlee was shot and killed by her boyfriend two months ago. This site has been a blessing and helps me through some of my darkest moments.

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It will soon be a year coming up for our Family, That My son passe away 8 miles from home coming back from New Years eve party. The Designated Drver gave him his keys and took his life with it . I have been off work this week trying different meds to recover, so I can work. Christmas was our last enjoyable Holiday and I still have texts on my phone He left me. Cant believe I will never see him on this earth anymore!!

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Dear Tilda

Welcome to Beyond Indigo I am so very sorry for the loss of your very special and precious son. I know the first year it is so very difficult and am glad that you have finally found this wonderful source of comfort and understanding .

I lost my only son Stephen aver 3 years ago and coming to this site, reading, posting sharing about his life and mine has helped to really keep me sane

Please post a picture of your son and tell us all about him

You are no longer alone

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