Members krichie Posted July 26, 2010 Members Report Share Posted July 26, 2010 The anniversary of my sons death is fast approaching I find myself in such shock that this much time has passed. As I talk to friends and family about typical life events I have to stop because I find myself saying "just last month he did this" od " He was just telling me such and such" I then realize it was not last month it was almost a year ago that I heard his voice and saw his smile.How the hell did a year go by when it seemed like just yesturday he was here with us and we were so happy. I have been on auto pilot for so long and still can not control myself, every where I look anything I touch is Richie. I read how others are going thru the same emotions and yet I still say they can't hurt as much as I do, There child was not like mine even tho I know deep inside they are hurting the same and thier child was just as precious as mine.Richie was killed by a drunk driver Oct 5 of 2009, he had just talked to us on phone telling us he loved us and was heading home and would see us in the morning as he works with his Dad. Not evan 5 minutes later a neighbor called and said he was in an accident. We were at the scene in less then 3 minutes since it was just down the street from our house. We were not allowed close to him as they worked on him, life flight was in the area and was there fast, I could hear the ambulance people telling him not to fight them they were there to help, so that gave me hope he was alive and fighting to stay that way. We had to stand back yelling from a distance that we were there and we loved him.I could make out his legs and see his chest between the people as they worked on him, then I was in the car on way to hospital to meet the flight when it got there. I don't know how long we were in waiting room nut I knew the minute the doctor walked in, my prayers were not answered. I had to be the strong one for the family and keep it togather. I could not break down- I am not sure if this was what helped me get thru that night or not.I had to ask myself later did I not pray hard enough, did I not promise to do the right things, what could Ihave done to save my boy.I still can not see me going thru life with out him. I get his daughter on the weekends but she is so only 3 and is already forgetting him.m I can never forget. I still cry every day. My heart still feels like someone is squeesing it and I still find it hard to breathe.enough for now. thanks for listening Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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