A bit about Joseph

[josephsmom90]

A brief bit about Joseph and his brothers. Joseph was the third of four sons. His oldest brother lives in Colorado. He is 29. Daniel and Joseph were born in 90 when I lived in Wyoming and was married to their dad. Michael, the youngest came in 94 and that was the last of me having babies. My then husband did not want any more kids. Steve, the boys dad and I separated in 1999. In a nutshell, I couldn’t continue to raise a 43 yr old man. That, and throwing the kitchen table at me killed every ounce of respect I had for him.

I moved with the boyz across the state of Wyoming to attend school at the University of Wyoming, reasoning that I’d better get an education to increase my earning ability. I got hit by a truck when I was doing about 40-50 MPH on my motorcycle, head on. I was in a comma and hospitals for two months. None of which I have any memory of. The boyz are my memories. I got out of the hospital and went home in a wheel chair for eight months. All the while on heavy pain killers, home bound, and with a Traumatic Brain Injury I knew nothing about. That would reveal itself to me some years down the road as bits of my personality changed, was lost, and returned. Steve and I divorced right after that. He never once came and sat down with me and said hey, I love you and the boyz, come home. Never even offered. Just threatened me if I took him to court for asset division. So…. I raised the boyz on my own. Though he paid child support, he did not see them often or try to contact, call, email, them. I did send progress reports and share with him how they were doing. Before our divorce was final he’d moved in a woman and her kids. The boyz were freaked about that. They could not belive their dad was just living with a woman. Whatever. So we lived in s California for six and a half years and I’d bought a small bit of property where we took our horses, raised beef, pork, turkeys, chickens, a garden and an orchard. They had the dirt toys, go cart, dirt bike, and swimming pool and loved it there.

Daniel was the somewhat rebellious one with me. He got upset one night cuz I wouldn’t let him to run with friends. His grades were in the toilet and I just said no. He freaked, punched a wall in my direction, cussed me out, and I immediately took him to Wyoming, 750 miles without stopping. I refuse to tolerate that in my house by anyone. His love was ‘his friends.’ He still isn’t right with me over that and he is 20. I figure with maturity he will come round, especially after he marries and has kids. So Joseph’s twin was gone, though Joseph agreed with my course of action. As they turned 18, Joseph wanted to go live in Wyoming. He said he needed his twin. So he went with my blessing. Afterall he had his high school diploma and all but 8 credits of his AA. That was the last time I saw him. March of 2008, he hugged me, his hug said “it’s OK mom” I’m OK! But it wasn’t OK!!! IT WASN’T!

He and Daniel partied at dads with daddys approval and full knowledge. The house was a party spot for high schoolers in Evanston Wy. Just before Joseph left Ca he’d fallen for a little gal he took to the prom. Little did we know she was on the rebound, and used him to go in style. He was a saver and had a bunch of money in the bank. Took her in an Excursion Limo, dinner prepared in front of them, corsage, and all the classy grown up things. She dumped him three days later. I never want to see another human in so much pain again! I held him while he sobbed in the dirt at three in the morning. And he changed after that. It was a spiral downhill. All he did in Wyo was act crazy, though he did work. He was out to prove he was the craziest, baddest etc.

Fast forward as this is getting long. He went to a ‘rave’ in s Utah with a bunch of friends and his brother Daniel on June 12, 2009. He disappeared sometime during the event. He rode with his roommate and his girl friend. The kids, the twins’ friends and Daniel spent six days searching for him. Michael was back east with his dad on vacation and I was out here. On June 13 Michael called me and told me Joseph was missing. I burst into tears. I finally (with difficulty) got a missing persons report filed on him and started communicating with the Salt Lake County Sheriff’s department. Joseph’s cell phone rang for three days before it died. By day three I knew he was gone. But I’d wander through the house and scream, No, No, NO, he isn’t!! On day six, Steve the boys dad FINALLY saw fit to come home from vacation. They landed in Salt Lake City and then went out to the event center where Joseph went missing. They didn’t see anything and got on the on ramp to take the 90 mile drive to Wyoming. There are four setline ponds by the event center and they saw something on one of them. So Steve stopped the truck and it was getting dark, had been raining, was over cast so light was poor. They figured it was a rock or an animal. Michael shot some photos with his digital camera and they went to Steve’s house.

Daniel came over the next morning with two of his friends, grabbed Michael, who was 15 then. And went  out to Saltair. Now I ask you, by this time, are they looking for a live person or not??? His father should have wnet, and or NOT allowed Michael to go! Daniel was 19 and he couldn’t prevent that! So when they got there, Michael walked right to Joseph! There’s more to it but that is all I can do right now. For six days Joseph was in the water, my mind still does NOT go there!!! Michael won’t tell me about it, he did a tiny bit. I won’t insist either. It’s his way of protecting me and I will allow him that. Frankly, I don’t want to know. The investigation was a sham, he had no clothes on, they never found them either! Autopsy reports say he drown, tissue was too decomposed to run tests on… Who has josephs’ clothes? I think his roommate knows exactly what happened to him! He tried to hang himself a few months later. The cops didn’t even care about it. Case closed! SIX DAYS OF HELL

[Guest]

Elaine,

I'm so sorry!  I don't know what else to say.  Please keep sharing!

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[mpsmom]

Elaine, I just read the story about the disappearnce of your sweet son, I am so very sorry.  My name is Marcia, my only child -- my 17 year old daughter died in September of 2008 from sudden heart death.  This website /forum saved me in the early days when I had no one to share my feelings and thoughts with. Please continue to come to BI and share your memories, your feelings, your heart.  I can say that early on everyone told me that the pain would get softer, I didn't believe them, but it is true, the pain is not so sharp and searing anymore. I have settled into the reality that my angel girl is not coming back, something has changed within me, and I am still here on earth. 

HUGS   Marcia   Bethany's Mom Forever

[hotrod]

Elaine

I am so very sorry for the extremely  sad circumstances surorunding your loss. 

I know many more would reply to your postings if you went to the Loss of Adult Child board and ht the button "Reply" instead of new message. The  Reply section keeps you on the loss of cchild board and the  new message brings you out with a new topic.  I hope that did not confuse you.

Praying for your peace

Betty Stephen'smom:)

[josephsmom90]

Marcia,

I am so sorry for you and the loss of your daughter! And thank you for the words of encouragement. I will keep posting. I am rather frantic right now though. Peace

Elaine

[josephsmom90]

Betty,

I think I've got it now, or it looks like I do. Thank you!

Elaine

[josephsmom90]

Susanah,

Thank you.

[Kelly]

Dear Members,

We are excited to mention that we are moving to a more new and improved message boards on MONDAY MORNING AUGUST 9th! The boards will be done for a few hours while we are making the conversation. Remember we posted information about this move a month ago. For some of you this might seem a bit sudden,  but when we were reviewing the site we determined the current message board you are using is out of date and the company that designed it is no longer in existence. The good news is this new message board will have new features that have been requested in the past like more fields we can add to your profiles and a chat room up to 20 people at one time. If we find the chat room is bursting at the seams we will add additional room for extra people. All your old posts, private messages and such will be migrated to the new message board. You might have to put up your profile picture again but not sure. The new company will be doing the migration for us. Here is a short list of some of the new features on the board:

- Custom Profile Fields- Users can customize their profile pages by selecting a background color or background image, with tiling options.- Facebook and Twitter Integration- users can respond to multiple posts at once with "mini-quote"- Pinned discussion threads - like welcome to our board etc.- Announcements made across some boards or the entire message board- Search: Users can easily find all content generated by a particular member, by clicking the 'Find Content' button that appears on the main profile page, or in the Mini Profile Popup which can be accessed throughout the board. The results page allows content to be filtered by application, as well whether the member created it or merely participated in it. - Privacy: allows users to sign in anonymously, hiding them from the online users list. Users also have the option to disable personal conversations and user-to-user emails, as well as ignore other users if necessary.

The next exciting piece of news about the new message board is it will have a new domain name of www.grieving.com for search engine optimization purposes. It will still be apart of Beyond Indigo and can be found through www.beyondindigo.com. We will be redirecting your current URL's to this new domain name but we might miss a few. If that is the case simply go back to www.grieving.com or www.beyondindigo.com to find your message board thread. We will try to make the transition as seamless as possible. 

The bottom line is the new board will give us room to grow our community and more options to interact better with each other. 

If you have any questions please direct them to feedback@beyondindigo.com. 

Kelly Baltzell, MACEO/PresidentBeyond Indigo Family