Members arrons Posted July 16, 2010 Members Report Share Posted July 16, 2010 Hello everyone, My name is Arron my wife and I had one son - Adrian, who is just shy of 6 y/o. Cathy got her Call to come Home sometime between 9pm 07/07/10 and 522am 07/08/10.Cathy and I would have been married for 11 years on the 4th of September 2010. She was still cute to the minute she went Home, and could almost always "catch my eye" even though the illness she had ABSOLUTELY DEVASTED HER BODY!!! The cause of her death was as far as I am aware ruled a heart attack. And she was in end stage renal failure. She had what is called Wegener's Granulomatosis, an auto-immune disorder in the vasculitis family. She knew she had not much time as just the week before I was joking with her about our "personal life" and she said that it would soon be OK for me to go on as she didn't have much time left. I kind of told the old line of oh you you are full of s--t you don't know that! Only God know's that. Then she said she had been having dreams about going to sleep and not waking up and had been afraid to go to sleep at dialysis a few times the previous week. That got my attention a bit and I tried to reassure her that she would be fine. Well she was right; but I truly thought and I believe that she also thought it would have been in the hospital from complications of pneumonia. But it was here at our apartment we moved into back in March after there was a fire in our house. She went home pretty fast as I found her half on the bed and on the floor head and shoulders on the floor and her feet still on the bed. I knew as soon as I saw her she was gone!! We talked about this fairly often and she told me that is was ok for me to move along and find someone else and in her words "I want you to be happy!" I am doing alot better now today and so is Adrain I only got three days off for her funeral but I have taken two extra days. One last Tuesday for me and yesterday for Adrian. He woke with tears in his eyes saying how much he missed Mommie! Now the hard part has begun...making sure he knows what is going on and how to deal with it. He already has alot of problems due to being born with Meth exposure and pot and alcohol and possibly cocaine and heroine in his system. His Bio-mom was not exactly a "nice" girl. But we got him at two days old and have had him since and finalized his adoption in March of 2006, I think. I have contacted a local chapter of Parents Without Partners and hopefully we can get to a meeting and I can learn how to make sure Adrian has what he needs to be able to move through this loss and still be able to be a functioning productive member of the human race.I am OK as sad as I am. Me and Cath had alot of time to discuss what things should happen when she did go Home. I guess that is why part of me is ready to start having "girl-friends" again; not romantic ones mind you as I know that I need to be very careful not to just "hook-up" with some one out of loniness and nothing more(Which is there! I miss eating with Cathy even though it was just a McDonald's hambuger and Coke and she had a sweet tea. She still came out to sit with me. I miss it alot! Also just the simple act of saying Hello to her when I walked in the door. It is getting better but is still there a bit.) and then getting into something that isn't true!!! IS THIS A NORMAL THING???? I know grief is diffent for everyone and the biggies haven't come and gone yet, like our coming anniversary and of course first day of Kindergarten is coming QUICKLY!!! And then Christmas and New Years. And her birthday. And I am sure those days will be as hard as it gets!! But I have a youngun' to think on as well so I need to make sure he has what it takes to get along. Thanks And I look forward to learning more about what folks on here have done to "get through" and help thier kids along the path as well.Thanks Arron Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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