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Lost My Husband After 39 Years


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My husband died on May 7, 2010 after a year long battle with small cell lung cancer.  I cannot believe he is gone. We have been together since I was 15 years old.  He was my everything.  How do I work through this horrible sense of loss and depression?


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Dear Linda,

I lost my husband June 15th and the only things that are helping me is crying, crying and more crying, being with my children, journaling and seeing a grief counselor.  I am also reading alot of books written by professionals who have lost a spouse.  All of these things together, plus my faith, are what are helping bear the burden I must bear.

As I laid in bed this morning I kept seeing him in the hospital bed, I can't seem to get the picture out of my head.  He looked peaceful but he was gone, and I cried so hard my heart felt dead too.  He died quickly from a massive heart attack.  You would think that would be consoling to me that he felt no pain, to some extent it does.  But not having him with me now is the hardest part and I know exactly what you mean about the depression and loneliness.  When people told me this would pass I couldn't believe them because I was in so much pain. The depression has gone for now but the loneliness lingers.  New emotions and feelings will take their place.  Be kind to yourself.



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Dear Members,

We are excited to mention that we are moving to a more new and improved message boards on MONDAY MORNING AUGUST 9th! The boards will be done for a few hours while we are making the conversation. Remember we posted information about this move a month ago. For some of you this might seem a bit sudden,  but when we were reviewing the site we determined the current message board you are using is out of date and the company that designed it is no longer in existence. The good news is this new message board will have new features that have been requested in the past like more fields we can add to your profiles and a chat room up to 20 people at one time. If we find the chat room is bursting at the seams we will add additional room for extra people. All your old posts, private messages and such will be migrated to the new message board. You might have to put up your profile picture again but not sure. The new company will be doing the migration for us. Here is a short list of some of the new features on the board:

- Custom Profile Fields- Users can customize their profile pages by selecting a background color or background image, with tiling options.- Facebook and Twitter Integration- users can respond to multiple posts at once with "mini-quote"- Pinned discussion threads - like welcome to our board etc.- Announcements made across some boards or the entire message board- Search: Users can easily find all content generated by a particular member, by clicking the 'Find Content' button that appears on the main profile page, or in the Mini Profile Popup which can be accessed throughout the board. The results page allows content to be filtered by application, as well whether the member created it or merely participated in it. - Privacy: allows users to sign in anonymously, hiding them from the online users list. Users also have the option to disable personal conversations and user-to-user emails, as well as ignore other users if necessary.

The next exciting piece of news about the new message board is it will have a new domain name of www.grieving.com for search engine optimization purposes. It will still be apart of Beyond Indigo and can be found through www.beyondindigo.com. We will be redirecting your current URL's to this new domain name but we might miss a few. If that is the case simply go back to www.grieving.com or www.beyondindigo.com to find your message board thread. We will try to make the transition as seamless as possible. 

The bottom line is the new board will give us room to grow our community and more options to interact better with each other. 

If you have any questions please direct them to feedback@beyondindigo.com.

Kelly Baltzell, MA


Beyond Indigo Family

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