having unsettling dreams about my mam

[mariesgril1953]

Hi everyone, I am so sorry I have not posted for a while. Over the last few months/weeks I sometimes - not every night have unsettleing or upsetting dreams about my mam. She passed away suddenly in October 2015. I can't believe  its going to be almost 2 years already. It hasn't gotten any easier. I have just gotten better at hiding it from my family and the world.

Last night I had a particularly weird dream about my beloved mam. She had obviously been away on some sort or tirp or something. But she seemed extremely angry and withdrawn - lime she didn't want to speak to me at all - I tried to speak to her - but she just basically shouted at me and blacked me. She had a look of hatred in her eyes. And last night I got a phone call of my aunty (my mama sister) she told me she had gotten a phone call from a former (this world is NOT used lightly) member of my family. My dad done something unforgivable but thats another story. I'm just wondering, what would this dream mean. Any of the dreams I have of her she seems annoyed. I was extremely close to my mam, she was, is and always will be my best friend.

[reader]

Dear Marie,

Thank you for coming back and sharing your experiences with us.

I'm so sorry my friend. I know losing your mama is very hard. It takes a long time to understand our new world without our parents.

I'm not sure about your dream. I too have had dreams about  my father, but mostly they dreams where I try to save him.

I hope others can give more insight.

[sadandlost]

Dear Marie,

I am so sorry for the loss of your mam.  I realise from reading a lot of the posts that grief lasts for a lot longer than we think it will.  Many years ago I knew someone who was depressed for 7 yrs when she lost her mother.  I don't know that anyone will understand anyone elses dreams.  They are all very personal.  I too have dreams about my mother all the time.  The last one just the other night was very different.  Usually my mother is in the dream.  This one she was not.  I arrived at my mothers house and in the dream it was the present and I knew she was dead.  I was just sitting there watching tv like we used to do together.  The phone rang and it was my aunt.  She said, you're at your moms?  Yes I said, I just arrived.  She said, what are you doing there?  Why are you there?  I froze.  I couldn't answer.  Then she says again, why are you there?  again I couldn't answer it was like I was paralysed.  I also didn't know what I was doing there?  Then she said to me, no one can be at the house.  No one is allowed to stay there.  You can't stay there!  I woke up in a cold sweat.  For me I know what the dream was about.  I feel lost.  My roots are gone.  I feel rootless.  I was always planning my life around commuting back and forth to my mothers.  We didn't live in the same city.  Now I feel so lost without her and this back and forth for 10 yrs commute is over but I don't want it to be over.  My aunt.  Thats about family stuff because I am not connected to her family.  They are running the show even after she is dead they are still controlling everything as my mother left them in charge.  I am angry about it.  Other dreams aren't always so clear about what they mean.  

I am sorry you are having disturbing dreams.  its upsetting.  Dreams are our minds running away with themselves.  It is hard for all of us, its why we are here.  I understand what you're saying about not sharing anything about how you feel with the family or the world.  I feel the same.  Its why we all come here I think because we know everyone is in the same boat of pain.