Members Mg152 Posted June 19, 2017 Members Report Share Posted June 19, 2017 I've been married 30 yrs. 2 years ago, my inlaws asked us to come back to FL to help them as they were aging. We did. The day before Thanksgiving 2016, my father in law had a stroke. He was sent to rehab. Dec 29, 2016 I took mt Mother in law to the ER, she had to have a triple bypass. They both went to the same rehab/nursing home for 3 months. My FIL also had Alzheimer's. Hospice was involved with both of them after they came home and their health degraded so quickly. I think the rehab did something or didn't do something to cause this. My MIL had a stroke while in rehab because they took away her blood thinners. My FIL came home around Feb 25 2017 (give or take) and I was his caregiver all day everyday. He was a wonderfully funny & entertaining person. On May 4, he told me "I'm gonna miss you Tricia". I broke down in tears & ran out of the house. It hurt cause I knew! He then asked for my youngest son, I won't reveal what he said to him but it was nice. The next morning, he passed away. I was broken hearted. It was a joy & a pleasure to care for him. My MIL came home May 3,2017, I was her caregiver too. On June 14, 2017, I talked her into the light. She was suffering, had the "rattle" so I to,d her to head towards the light. She passed while I was talking to her & rubbing her arm & forehead. I dressed her in her favorite dress so she'd be pretty when she got to heaven. My heart was broken again. These people were like my own parents & now in 6 weeks they were both gone. I was caregiver for both of them. I don't know if I'll ever get over this. I'm 55, hubby is 61. I'm taking this loss a lot harder than he is. It really hurts. We didn't even get a chance to grieve the loss of my FIL and now she's gone too. I feel responsible though hospice said I went above and beyond. I did treat them both with love, care & respect. I loved these two people. Recap FIL passed May 5 2017 & MIL passed June 14, 2017 How do I get over this? How can I stop blaming myself? Is it my fault? I can't sleep, I can't eat. My stomach is in knots. I feel sick every time I try to eat. I'm hoping someone here can at least commiserate with me. Thanks to all! The pic of them was 1 1/2 yrs ago. It's unbelievable Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mg152 Posted June 19, 2017 Author Members Report Share Posted June 19, 2017 Also, I bought a tape recorder. Yep that's right a tape recorder cause I found their voices on their answering machine. My FIL had answered a call & it kept recording him being his usual funny self & I wanted to keep it to listen to later. My Mother in law had done the same & she'd left my hubby a couple messages when she was in rehab. I recorded all of them. Is that dumb? I cried the whole time. I can hear myself sobbing on the recording. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dgiirl Posted June 20, 2017 Members Report Share Posted June 20, 2017 My condolences on your loss. It's tough to lose one parent, let alone two with a few months of one another. I think it's beautiful you recorded their voices and it will bring comfort to you and your family in the coming months and years. I was very fortunate to have the forethought to email my dad how much I loved him last summer. I told him all the things I remembered as a child and how good of a father he was to me. I also have a few photos and selfies with him. Although I wish I had done more, they have given me great comfort. On father's day, I was able to read my email to him and his response. It made me cry but also made me soooo thankful I was able to tell him everything I needed to tell him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mg152 Posted June 20, 2017 Author Members Report Share Posted June 20, 2017 Thank you! It's been rough & now we found out the will is no good. My hubby is the only living child so we shouldn't have a problem but he quit his job to help me care for my MIL so we are in a bind. They thought they had everything set but it's not so easy. So now we're heartbroken & cant pay any bills. Luckily they owned the homes that are next door to each other & they put hubbys name on the properties but the bank accounts & IRAs have to be probated. Lord! Say a prayer for us cause we are not spring chickens. I'm disabled myself, hubby has diabetes & other various things wrong. Please make a will, put your heirs on bank accounts, properties etc.. Make sure your attorney files the will with the county & check every so often to make sure your attorney is still alive. It matters! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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