Members H82017 Posted June 11, 2017 Members Report Share Posted June 11, 2017 My dad died 5 months ago very suddenly. I was already struggling with anxiety and in general my mental health wasn't good. I got put on antidepressants for anxiety to hopefully make me sleep as I had become a full blown insomniac sometimes not sleeping for days on end, literally. Needless to say, After dad died my anxiety has become sky high, after a while of going back I have given up on college for a while I find it too much pressure. I've stopped sleeping properly again. The doctor has changed my medication in the hope that my mood will lift (whether she means less anxious or less down I don't know, I find that the two come hand in hand), and I will sleep better again. But it's been 5 days and I keep waking after little sleep. I honestly miss him so so so much. I'm only 17, I should've had a whole life ahead of me with him in it. This isn't fair. I thought I was doing better a while back but a few weeks ago it has truly smacked me in the face full force. I do find enjoyment in some things, like my close friends. I love seeing them, I love them. This is the same with my family. I truly love them. That's the problem. I feel like I am living for everyone else and not me. I feel more exhausted by the day, I don't even think I'll live a long life myself. I don't want to kill myself for my family/friends sakes. Not because I respect my life enough to let myself live. So I don't know if you'd call that suicidal. What I would love is the ability for me to turn back the clocks and just not be born somehow. All the pain I've felt in this life certainly outweighs the good. Does anyone else feel this way? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members reader Posted June 11, 2017 Members Report Share Posted June 11, 2017 Dear Friend, I'm so sorry to hear about everything you have been going through. I know its a very difficult time and you are doing everything you can to keep going forward. I know grief takes a toll. The shock and trauma of losing a parent is very hard to understand. I know you said you are seeing a doctor. Have you also considered talking to a counsellor or therapist? Please know you are not alone. We are all here to listen and support you. Keep posting and getting your thoughts and feelings expressed. Thinking of you. Sending you all my thoughts and prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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