Joe...

[Mrsviden]

Joe, Baby, 

I miss you. That's just all there is to it. I miss the way we would listen to 80s rock and you would always make up your own lyrics.

I miss your calming voice telling me everything would be ok, and that we would figure it out. 

I miss your hugs, the way that you always would hold my face when you kissed me. 

I miss the way you would look at me and it made me fall in love all over again. 

I miss you asking when I was going to make your breakfast...3 eggs, bacon, toast and some raspberry seed jam. I'd give anything to make you breakfast again. 

Today, I find myself in a very dark place because I miss you so much. I don't know what I did to deserve you & your love but I'm thankful you chose me. I love you more today than I did yesterday and tomorrow I'll love you more then than I do now. Just the thought of you not being here anymore makes the tsunami of tears fall. I love you baby, more than anything in this world, and I would give anything to have you sitting right next to me playing with my hair and I would be scratching your leg. Absolutely anything...I miss you baby...

your wife, mrs videnich

[Andy]

And without question,  Joe feels your love, the depth of its meaning, the power of its truth, reaching across the barrier, never diminished, never to fade. As you loved and continue to love him, he loves you as well, never doubt. 

Rejoice in that devotion. Celebrate the life together, the memories, take pride in the commitment and love you shared. I'm sorry for your sadness. I wish I could of help you, maybe it would help me, but know that your words are beautiful and heartbreaking, all at once. How could they not? Coming from the depths of a soul in agony, your thoughts convey the absolute love you have. 

Mrsviden, rest well, find peace, Joe is beyond this wretched world, free of misery. I know you suffer, as I do, but take solace in his glory. Thinking of my wife like that is sometimes the only thing that gets me through. I'll be thinking about you and praying for you, love and a really big hug,

Andy 

[KMB]

Mrsviden, I love your tribute of love to Joe. It reflects how we all feel towards our loved ones who can no longer be here with us. Prayers of peace, love and comfort to you.

[KayC]

Mrsviden,

Your love is very apparent and I think Joe is aware of it and it has to touch him...

[Mrsviden]

9 hours ago, Andy said:

And without question,  Joe feels your love, the depth of its meaning, the power of its truth, reaching across the barrier, never diminished, never to fade. As you loved and continue to love him, he loves you as well, never doubt. 

Rejoice in that devotion. Celebrate the life together, the memories, take pride in the commitment and love you shared. I'm sorry for your sadness. I wish I could of help you, maybe it would help me, but know that your words are beautiful and heartbreaking, all at once. How could they not? Coming from the depths of a soul in agony, your thoughts convey the absolute love you have. 

Mrsviden, rest well, find peace, Joe is beyond this wretched world, free of misery. I know you suffer, as I do, but take solace in his glory. Thinking of my wife like that is sometimes the only thing that gets me through. I'll be thinking about you and praying for you, love and a really big hug,

Andy 

Thank you Andy, I come here to write my feelings down because I feel when I hit submit Joe will read my words. I miss him so much, and when I really sit down and think this is real, Joe is gone, and about how much I miss his voice it gets overwhelming in about 2.5 seconds. I pray for you as well and always appreciate your responses. They are always so well written. Thank you Andy, love and prayers to you...

mrsviden 

[Mrsviden]

2 hours ago, KMB said:

Mrsviden, I love your tribute of love to Joe. It reflects how we all feel towards our loved ones who can no longer be here with us. Prayers of peace, love and comfort to you.

You've given me so many things that have helped in struggling and dealing with grief. You along with many others responded to my words when "friends/family" didn't. I appreciate it so much. 

[Mrsviden]

49 minutes ago, KayC said:

Mrsviden,

Your love is very apparent and I think Joe is aware of it and it has to touch him...

That's what I'm hoping for, I'm hoping for it to reach out and touch him, the same way he did. I hope you are doing ok. Love and hugs...

mrsviden

[Andy]

Mrsviden, he knows. He really does. Take comfort in that, of that thing I am certain of, they know in ways we can't fully appreciate the true essence and power of love. I believe that, with all of my being. Love is undying, eternal. In the face of that truth, death is meaningless. Without question, It causes us pain and sorrow, but it is but a short wait until we are reunited, for time is relative after all. 

Have a blessed day, be safe,

Andy

[Mrsviden]

3 hours ago, Andy said:

Mrsviden, he knows. He really does. Take comfort in that, of that thing I am certain of, they know in ways we can't fully appreciate the true essence and power of love. I believe that, with all of my being. Love is undying, eternal. In the face of that truth, death is meaningless. Without question, It causes us pain and sorrow, but it is but a short wait until we are reunited, for time is relative after all. 

Have a blessed day, be safe,

Andy

Thank you Andy. I appreciate your comforting words. I hope you too have a blessed Sunday. 

Mrsviden

[Francine]

Wow!  I know exactly the feeling and I couldn't have said it any better.  Thanks for that.

[Mrsviden]

5 hours ago, Francine said:

Wow!  I know exactly the feeling and I couldn't have said it any better.  Thanks for that.

I'm not sure if you were talking to me, but if you were you are so welcome. I'm thankful to have an influence on someone going through the same thing as myself. I look up and respect so many people on here and I can only hope one day I'll be able to help someone as you all have helped me. 

Really missing my man...

hugs and love 

mrsviden

[Mrsviden]

Someone please help me. I keep having this dream of someone from my husbands family who knows he has passed killing me. 

First they come up to the door and start kicking it the next they go around to all my windows and push them in and then try to climb in. I'm running away and they catch up to me and I'm screaming and begging for help and no one is answering or coming to help me. 

I always wake up from this dream and I'm drenched in sweat and my heart is racing. 

[KayC]

Try not to give your dream too much heed, but when you awaken from one such as that, you're in an anxious state as if it just happened for real.  Calm yourself, try to pray, maybe get up and walk around, break the state you're in, if it helps you to read or watch t.v., or come on line, do that.  Reassure yourself that the dream is not reality, that you are safe.

You may be having this because you feel vulnerable without Joe here to save you, but try to remember they are looking after us and I don't believe they'd let something happen.  

[M88]

Hi MrsViden  Awe, I'm really sorry you're not getting decent sleep.  Nightmares like that are terrifying alright and common when your loved one died sudden & traumatically.  My GP said the brain continues to process the death when we sleep. 

In my worst nightmare I see the car coming towards me, I can't escape it - nowhere to go -and I suffer my darlings injuries in the same sequence and severity as they happened to him.  In other nightmares friends and famiy die in all manner of circumstances, but ususally drowning which seems weird.   On my absolute worst night I had 17 in one night. Naturally I gave up even trying to sleep.  My GP prescribed zoplicone - the least addictive sleeping tablet.  Gives me an unusual craving for sweet food - also weird as I don't have a sweet tooth.  They work really well for me. I started off needing two per night and have gradually decreased down to half tab.  Still get the same amount of sleep - 3 hours,  and strong craving for sweet food, no matter the dose. 

When death is sudden and traumatic, we can lose our entire sense of safety and gain anxiety about family and friends dying in tragic circumstances.  I didn't feel safe anywhere other than home despite installing safety plug thingees on all outletsall plugs.  I got scared to use my gas fire, and now have deep roooted driving/passenger phobias. I still have a couple of nightmares each week but they aren't as horrific - thank god! 

I suggest having a chat with your GP.  I do feel for you, MrsViden.  It's blimin scary!! 

Sending strength and hugs. 

 

[Mrsviden]

1 hour ago, KayC said:

Try not to give your dream too much heed, but when you awaken from one such as that, you're in an anxious state as if it just happened for real.  Calm yourself, try to pray, maybe get up and walk around, break the state you're in, if it helps you to read or watch t.v., or come on line, do that.  Reassure yourself that the dream is not reality, that you are safe.

You may be having this because you feel vulnerable without Joe here to save you, but try to remember they are looking after us and I don't believe they'd let something happen.  

I did just that I sat up for a minute and tried some breathing exercises. I was just really scared and I didn't know what else to do. Normally I would wake Joe up and he would hold me and tell me it would be ok. Thanks KayC

[Mrsviden]

57 minutes ago, M88 said:

Hi MrsViden  Awe, I'm really sorry you're not getting decent sleep.  Nightmares like that are terrifying alright and common when your loved one died sudden & traumatically.  My GP said the brain continues to process the death when we sleep. 

In my worst nightmare I see the car coming towards me, I can't escape it - nowhere to go -and I suffer my darlings injuries in the same sequence and severity as they happened to him.  In other nightmares friends and famiy die in all manner of circumstances, but ususally drowning which seems weird.   On my absolute worst night I had 17 in one night. Naturally I gave up even trying to sleep.  My GP prescribed zoplicone - the least addictive sleeping tablet.  Gives me an unusual craving for sweet food - also weird as I don't have a sweet tooth.  They work really well for me. I started off needing two per night and have gradually decreased down to half tab.  Still get the same amount of sleep - 3 hours,  and strong craving for sweet food, no matter the dose. 

When death is sudden and traumatic, we can lose our entire sense of safety and gain anxiety about family and friends dying in tragic circumstances.  I didn't feel safe anywhere other than home despite installing safety plug thingees on all outletsall plugs.  I got scared to use my gas fire, and now have deep roooted driving/passenger phobias. I still have a couple of nightmares each week but they aren't as horrific - thank god! 

I suggest having a chat with your GP.  I do feel for you, MrsViden.  It's blimin scary!! 

Sending strength and hugs. 

 

I hate to hear you have them as well, they just feel so real and it's scary to think you can't escape it until you wake up and realize it's just a nightmare. I hate these things. All is well again, and I don't feel so scared anymore. Thanks guys

[KMB]

Mrsviden, As with KayC and M88, nightmares are an unwelcome part of the grieving. Our minds are so chaotic from absorbing, processing what has happened. I've had nightmares also. The effects have a way of permeating, trying to manage through the following day as if we didn't have enough to cope with as is. I had nightmares of taking care of my husband through his various medical issues, still trying to save him.  Thankfully, the nightmares have hopefully stopped. Haven't had one for some time. When we lost our spouse/partner, it interrupted our sense of security. We've lost so much and it takes a long time to adjust.   (HUGS)

[Andy]

I had one dream that could be interpreted as a "nightmare", but I think it was something else. This dream occurred about 2 weeks after my wife passed. My mom, dad, myself and my wife were in my parents car, driven by my mom. I was sitting in the back with my wife. We pulled up to a house, into the garage, and we all got out. Now, in this dream, I was aware my wife had passed away, but she was there nonetheless. In my mind, I was overcome with joy that she was back with me. As we got out of the car, my wife started to struggle as she walked, I supported her until I helped her onto the couch. It wasn't something I could really see, but I knew she was terribly ill, and I remember pleading with my mom to call an ambulance, "look" I said, "she's ok! She's back and I can take care of her!"  My mom looked at me with saddened eyes and told me "no Andy, she's not going to make it, she's gone". I looked over to the couch, and I just knew she was already gone, she had even begun to fade from view. I awoke from this dream in such a state. I was devastated, it felt so real, so "true", when I realized that she wasn't there at all, I wanted to die. I thought, in that strange way of thinking only dreams produce, that God had granted her a reprieve, given me back my wife, another chance. But it wasn't so. I think the dream, or the intended message, was to see, to realize that she WAS gone, she wasn't coming back, to accept what I couldn't. There would be no mercy. I had to face it. 

So, anyway, that was one of about 3 I've had with her since she passed. Other than that, I don't recall my dreams, I'd even welcome the occasional nightmare if it entailed a message or something for me to decipher. I'd gladly see her at any time, even its "just" a dream. 

[M88]

Andy, sad as that dream ended, maybe that was your wife's way of communicating with you. 

I wonder why shock doesn't protect our minds more from nightmares?  Mine seem to occur as soon as I fall asleep.  

From posts I've read, and my own experience, it seems nice comforting dreams of our late partners are hard to come by.  I've only had one dream that has featured hubby - I was with family, we were lost in a big pine forest in an area that hubby and I had spent a few days in, a couple of years ago.  We were out of the truck looking around as the disorientated do, and I said if Gerry was here, he'd know which way to go.  In reality he probably wouldn't have  

In fact I rarely remember dreams now.  Maybe I don't have them any more.  Gerry used to be so envious of my ability to remember dreams.  I used to talk a lot while having them and he never did learn to not ask me questions because I'd clam up when he did.  I'd say he shouldn't have been sticky beaking into my dreams.  Lol 

Wishing us all sweet dreams of our loved ones in the future. 

[KayC]

Funny you should be talking about nightmares, that's why I'm here this early, I woke up at 3:30 having a nightmare about this mechanic shop I have to take my car to today, not having good feelings about it but it's where my insurance said to take it, and my adjuster is on vacation all week so I feel I don't have an advocate, I feel vulnerable and anxious.  Normally I can shake off nightmare feelings but today I'm hoping I won't be living it!

 

[Mrsviden]

2 hours ago, KayC said:

Funny you should be talking about nightmares, that's why I'm here this early, I woke up at 3:30 having a nightmare about this mechanic shop I have to take my car to today, not having good feelings about it but it's where my insurance said to take it, and my adjuster is on vacation all week so I feel I don't have an advocate, I feel vulnerable and anxious.  Normally I can shake off nightmare feelings but today I'm hoping I won't be living it!

 

KayC many prayers sent your way. I can totally relate to feeling so vulnerable and anxious as I feel that often. I can give you the advice you gave me and try not to heed too much on the nightmare and the not so good feelings you are having about this mechanic shop. And you have your sweet husbands spirit protecting you, he won't let anything bad happen. 

Hugs...

 

[Mrsviden]

Andy, 

ive had similar experiences as you have, where I am with my husband but then again I already know he's gone. I'm sorry you have had to relive that all over again. On a rare occasion I'll have a pleasant dream about my husband but it's very difficult for me to remember everything that happened in it. I wish we could go back and rewind and live the good dreams over again. It helps seeing his smiling face and hearing his laugh...

 

[Mrsviden]

My husbands headstone came in today, and it was wrong, the vase wasn't on there. Everything I wanted on there wasn't and it was just ruined. As if waiting for you husbands headstone is something to look forward to...it's the last thing I had to take care of, and to see his name on there it made it all so final, and real. Yet somehow I still was begging and screaming to get me out of this awful nightmare. 

[KayC]

I'd go back to them and tell them it's all wrong!  They should replace it without additional cost.  I'm sorry, I know that must have been a terrible letdown.

[KayC]

20 hours ago, Mrsviden said:

I can totally relate to feeling so vulnerable and anxious as I feel that often. I can give you the advice you gave me and try not to heed too much on the nightmare and the not so good feelings you are having about this mechanic shop.

You're right, and funny enough my scripture for the day was about anxiety.  Sometimes I think the Lord has a sense of humor.  And all went great at the car place.

[Mrsviden]

12 hours ago, KayC said:

You're right, and funny enough my scripture for the day was about anxiety.  Sometimes I think the Lord has a sense of humor.  And all went great at the car place.

I am pleased to hear you had a good experience at the car place, I hope you are doing well today.

[KayC]

Thanks!