Members cassandra Posted March 18, 2010 Members Report Share Posted March 18, 2010 It has now been three months since the death of our son Jeff. He was a wonderfully likeable and kind-hearted young man. He died suddenly on December 12, 2009 of heart failure. I am still in shock and doing my utmost to keep moving forward in a positive manner. Some days are not too bad, but others are a complete loss. Funny how the strangest things can trigger off memories. And I find myself awash with pain. He was only 28 years old. Loved life and lived it fully until his last breath. Loved music and sports and was very active. I am afraid my greatest fear is that my husband and I did not respond quickly enough in getting help and that may have led to his death. He lived with us and it was a Saturday evening. We had eaten our dinner and he then headed into his room to watch TV. About two hours later my life was turned upside down. My husband performed CPR while I remained on the phone to the emergency response crew giving me directions in helping him. It was all very surreal. He died as my husband was performing the procedure and they told us to keep up with this until the emergency crew arrived. It took exactly eleven minutes for them to arrive...but it seemed an eternity. Suddenly our home was filled with people. Five medical responders, mounties, and firemen. We live in a rural area and so it is necessary for all of them to arrive. I kept thinking that it would be like in the movies. They would shock his heart back and get a pulse. They worked agressively for the time allowed. They did everything to help get him back. I stood in the door way to his bedroom in disbelief. This was not happening...it could not be. It was not the natural order of things...It should have been me. He was too young. WE had a very close and loving relationship and I take comfort in the knowledge that he is now in a good place. But I miss him terribly and am still in shock. Will this pain ever lighten up? If anybody can give me any words of comfort I would be so grateful. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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