Jump to content
Forum Conduct & Guidelines Document ×

Feeling Alone


elissaeternally

Recommended Posts

  • Members
elissaeternally

Is anyone else feeling this too? Since my mom passed a month and a half ago, i feel like some of my friends are distancing themselves from me. Even some friends that ive known for years dont seem to check in on me as much as i think they should. Im tring not to be selfish but i feel so alone. Ive been reading alot about grieving the past couple weeks and ive learned that the process of grieving is hard not only on the one that has experienced the loss, but also on the ones closest to that person. I guess some people just dont know what to do or say in these situations. People must learn to understand that the one grieving doesnt always need words of wisdom but just someone willing to listen.

post-44590-128153898181_thumb.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Yes, I think that's something people do, they distance themselves. Maybe they feel uncomfortable or don't know what to say. One of my friends told me I depressed her because it brings back her own grief feelings for people she's lost. I go through phases where I feel very alone, except for a couple people who are there for me. I'm surprised at some family members too who I never hear from. I guess we learn a lot about people around us when we have bad things happen.

I hope your friends are able to start being there for you more. (((hugs)))

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

It's very important you tell your friends what you need them to do. Ask them if they would just listen to you. Many people feel the need to fix a problem they hear about. With your grief, they know they can't fix what they hear, so it's frustrating to hear about your loss, and that may be keep them away - feelings of not being useful to you. It worked with me. I just asked a friend of mine to please just listen, and she did. It was wonderful, but it didn't happen until I was specific with her and just came out and asked.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Most friends want to give you something that will make you feel better, but they don't know what that is. Tell them, that you just need a listening ear.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
elissaeternally

Lafayette, I thank you for your reply. After I posted that message, I brought it to a few peoples attention that I was feeling a distance between them and I. I told them that I now understood how uncomfortable it can be to have a friend in grief and not know how to help. I assured them that it wasnt their job to always find the right words but to just sit and listen awhile. Communicating my feelings with my friends has definitely helped to alleviate the tension on both ends. Thanx again :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
elissaeternally

Actually, i didnt show anyone the posts but thats not a bad idea! I'll let my friends know that If they have time and feel comfortable they can visit this site and read some of the posts on this thread. That might help them get a better understanding of the grief process regarding how to help friends in grief. Thanx for the great idea!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

i have lost family and friends over my grief for good - i have a half sister that i never speak to and vise versa for many years now -- dont feel alone with that

it happens to the best of us

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

well something like that -  many of the family members were so hateful and cruel to begin with and after she past on they just got worse - to date i havent spoken to many of them for years now and also recently had to let go of a toxic relationship with a aunt as well. she lived in las vegas and just changed completely.

also have lost contact with a few other people - for one a aunt by marriage who just wont talk to me any more - i guess she has her own problems and doesnt want to listen to me any more at all - thats ok --

people change after a thing like death - i dont know why but they do --

now i just have a father and sister only but they to both have severe problems --

life is so hard after losing your mom -- people change and you see the real person that they are -- which usually isnt a good one either --

i want to say more but i have a really sore thraot today i will tell you more later if you like --

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Administrators

June 07, 2010

 

Dear Members,

 

We’re excited to inform you that we’re moving to a new and improved message board at the end of this week. It may seem a little bit sudden, but we recently learned that the company that designed our current board is no longer in existence. Our new message board will offer enhanced profile capabilities and chat rooms with up to 20 people at a time (and more if we need it). All of your old posts and private messages will be migrated to our new message board. You may need to re-post your profile picture. Our new message board will feature:

 

  • Custom profile fields
  • Profile page customization with optional background colors, images, and tiling options
  • Facebook and Twitter integration
  • Multiple post responses via “mini-quotes”
  • Pinned discussion threads
  • Targeted board announcements (for entire board or certain sections)
  • Comprehensive search options enabling users to easily find all content created by a particular member (by clicking “Find Content” on the main profile page, or in the “Mini Profile” pop-up which can be accessed throughout the board) 
  • Enhanced privacy options that allow users to sign in anonymously, be hidden from the online users list, disable personal conversations, and deny user-to-user emails

 

You can access the new message board by visiting www.grieving.com or www.beyondindigo.com. Grieving.com is still 100% a part of Beyond Indigo; we just created a new Web address for Search Engine Optimization (SEO) purposes. We’ll do our best to redirect all existing URL’s to our new board, but if you have difficulty accessing them, just remember to visit www.grieving.com or www.beyondindigo.com to find your message board thread. We’ll of course try to make this transition as seamless as possible. 

 

Our new board will seamlessly enable us to grow our community and provide you with even more ways to interact with one other, and for that we’re very grateful. Please feel free to email feedback@beyondindigo.com with any questions, and thank you for being a part of the Beyond Indigo online community.

 

Kelly Baltzell, MA

President/CEO, Beyond Indigo

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

The people I am around just wont shut up.  They do not know how to listen to anything that I am feeling.  Always wanting to tell me how to feel, cry, get angry, or even scream.  I wish they would just let me grieve in my own way.  If your friends have never been through it then they can't say anything.  You are not alone, I feel the same way even when people are around me. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Administrators

Dear Members,

We are excited to mention that we are moving to a more new and improved message boards on MONDAY MORNING AUGUST 9th! The boards will be done for a few hours while we are making the conversation. Remember we posted information about this move a month ago. For some of you this might seem a bit sudden,  but when we were reviewing the site we determined the current message board you are using is out of date and the company that designed it is no longer in existence. The good news is this new message board will have new features that have been requested in the past like more fields we can add to your profiles and a chat room up to 20 people at one time. If we find the chat room is bursting at the seams we will add additional room for extra people. All your old posts, private messages and such will be migrated to the new message board. You might have to put up your profile picture again but not sure. The new company will be doing the migration for us. Here is a short list of some of the new features on the board:

- Custom Profile Fields- Users can customize their profile pages by selecting a background color or background image, with tiling options.- Facebook and Twitter Integration- users can respond to multiple posts at once with "mini-quote"- Pinned discussion threads - like welcome to our board etc.- Announcements made across some boards or the entire message board- Search: Users can easily find all content generated by a particular member, by clicking the 'Find Content' button that appears on the main profile page, or in the Mini Profile Popup which can be accessed throughout the board. The results page allows content to be filtered by application, as well whether the member created it or merely participated in it. - Privacy: allows users to sign in anonymously, hiding them from the online users list. Users also have the option to disable personal conversations and user-to-user emails, as well as ignore other users if necessary.

The next exciting piece of news about the new message board is it will have a new domain name of www.grieving.com for search engine optimization purposes. It will still be apart of Beyond Indigo and can be found through www.beyondindigo.com. We will be redirecting your current URL's to this new domain name but we might miss a few. If that is the case simply go back to www.grieving.com or www.beyondindigo.com to find your message board thread. We will try to make the transition as seamless as possible. 

The bottom line is the new board will give us room to grow our community and more options to interact better with each other. 

If you have any questions please direct them to feedback@beyondindigo.com

Kelly Baltzell, MACEO/PresidentBeyond Indigo Family

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.