Members vickisdaughter Posted February 8, 2010 Members Report Share Posted February 8, 2010 Its late & I cant sleep. My mom has been gone almost 5 yrs, I used to go to counseling & I loved it but with no insurance now I cant & for the most part I deal with her being gone pretty well. But tonight I hurt so bad inside I feel like I could die. I know shes in a better place and I have 5 great kids & Im pursuing my life long dream of being a nurse & I know shes somewhere watching down on us, but I am selfish..I want her here!!! My current living situation isnt the greatest & for the past few days I have found myself numerous times saying, I just wanna go home..but theres no home to go to, moms not there. To even type those words I cant hold back the tears. I lost my stepfather(the only dad I ever had) 14 mos before my mother, he got killed on his new motorcycle that only had 40 miles on it..a car ran a stop sign & hit him. My mother always drank but from what the doctors said she drank too much. She was sick for 3 months & died on her 48th bday, never really knew exactly for sure what she did die of. Therefore I am not a drinker, I never have been, I dont want to leave my children the way she left me. I was 26 when she died but I still needed her. It seems like since she has died I have made a few wrong decisions & I have overcame alot but today I just needed to get this all out. And I used to get on here all the time & it did help. Guess I will have to start again..thanks for lending an ear.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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