The Rest Of My Life

[olemisfit]

Many thanks to those of you that responded to my first post here yesterday. Where were you all last year when i needed you? I say that humorously. It wasn't this group's responsibility to find me. I do understand that. I suppose that just as it is with everything else that happens, God had a hand in the when and how of this also. I survived my first year of this new life...this existance now...totally and completely alone. My wife & I were not able to have children. And we had somehow managed to outlive both of our families. And we relocated from Okla. to south Texas for climate reasons when her health started to fail her. Being in a new area with failing health wasn't a very good atmosphere for trying to cultivate new friendships. So, when my wife passed I had absolutely no one to turn to for any kind of comfort. But with God's help and more inner strength that i knew i had, i managed to get through that first awful year alone. Before her death, my wife and i had been together for two-thirds of my life. 41 delightful, wonderful years. Years that passed way to fast. I didn't have a good childhood. My life didn't really have a purpose until one day my wife entered my life in a totally unexpected way. I applied for a job as a night auditor in a motel one day. When I rolled off the bed that morning I had no clue that my life was going to take a crazy turn before I even had lunch that day. She was the front desk manager. I walked up to the counter, told her why i was there, and those beautiful eyes of her's just swallowed me up right then and there and never spit me back out. Yep...i married my boss! And even now, she's still my boss.  All of a sudden something beautiful was in my life. All from a chance job interview to help me pay what the GI Bill wasn't enough to pay for. I was 26, with no previous experience at this marriage thing. But with her I was willing to jump into the deep end of the pool and give it a whirl. When i asked her to marry me i told her to give it some thought before answering, because with me the door didn't swing both ways. The only thing that would end it for us  as a team was death. Divorce did not compute. Not to me. I was in it for the long haul, and she needed to be willing to make that same commitment. And I thank God every day that she did. God allows us to experience LOVE. But it's like a coin with two sides. Love is the pretty side. The ugly side of the coin is the grief. This side of the coin is ugly and awful, but am i sorry i started down this path 42+ years ago? Not just no, but Hell No!  Being with her for 41+ years was the only good thing that ever happened to me. Because of her, this is all worth it.But Lord have mercy, do i miss her presence every day!  May we all have the strength to get through this journey we are now on.

Darrel

[KMB]

Darrel----Such a wonderful love story! I don't want to go into my own story, it could fill a book, but I found my *home* the day I met my  husband. We shared 25 years together and I would not have traded those years for anything. They did go by so fast. Everyone says that life is short. They are short when we are happy with our soul mates. Now what? Time crawls so slow.

You were led to this forum for a reason. Hopefully you will find friends. Even though we live all over the world, we are all together here. I'm so sorry you had to go through your first year of this grief journey alone. You have been brave and courageous and continue to be. I live in Wisconsin, in the upper part where the rest of the state thinks no one lives. Tourist area for hunting, fishing, snowmobiling. Logging and farming have been the main occupations.

You will be with your beautiful wife again someday. The pain of being without her until then will be so worth it when you are reunited. Take care of yourself, Darrel, we have to take comfort in God for He knows what our individual plans are for what He asks of us.

 

[Sadaf Nazim]

What a beautiful lovestory! 

YeS Love has two sides. One beautiful one ugly. But love is never more beautiful when it faces something ugly and doesn't walk away.

[olemisfit]

So true. Beautifully said!

[KayC]

KMB,

Maybe someday you will share your story, I'd love to hear it.

Darrel,

Our love story, how we met, the life we shared, those are so special to share, and I know the two of you share great love.  Notice I say "share" not "shared" because love doesn't die, and they love us still even if they can't hold us and tell us face to face like they once did.  They will.