Members KC81 Posted December 31, 2016 Members Report Share Posted December 31, 2016 New Year's Eve, I usually pick a nice restaurant in downtown, bring her there for dinner, just the two of us. Last year we had the dinner at the venue where we got married. She never really liked/needed flowers, but I've given her roses a couple times before. Last year she gave me a set of star wars dancing figures as Christmas present, I gave her a set of earrings she really wanted. (I guiltily tend to combine her Christmas present with her Birthday present, since they were so close together, haha) After the dinner, we would proceed to one of my friends' places to do the count-down. This New Year's Eve, this Birthday of hers, is different. She's not physically here. I got her a card. Copious amount of tears ran down my cheeks when I was picking cards at "Wife's Birthday" section yesterday. I will visit her urn at the funeral home, I will bring her some red or white roses. I will write down what I want to say to her in the Birthday card, in front of her urn. I may burn the card right after, or the next day. My friend and her best friends will be there too. We'll have lunch together, at the all-you-can-eat Japanese restaurant where we first dated, where I first set sight on her after exchanging email with her for 2 months beforehand. My wife and I had been to that restaurant at least 30 times in the last 6.5 years. For dinner, I'll gather with my friends at another restaurant, possibly at The Keg where we had our "last eat-out meal" 2 days before C-section. I'll make sure there's an seat for her next to me. My sister already ordered a cake for her. We'll cut it at my friend's home. (instead of at the restaurant, because it may confuse the waitress and get awkward). It's her first Birthday without her physically here. We'll continue with the traditions. She will always be remembered. Until we meet again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted December 31, 2016 Moderators Report Share Posted December 31, 2016 Thinking of you as you go through this day... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Emeliza Posted December 31, 2016 Members Report Share Posted December 31, 2016 That is a lovely way to celebrate her. I wish you comfort and laughter as you remember fun times together. My thoughts are with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KMB Posted December 31, 2016 Members Report Share Posted December 31, 2016 KC81---Thank you for sharing your wife's birthday and plans. Prayers of peace, love, for you at this time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KC81 Posted January 2, 2017 Author Members Report Share Posted January 2, 2017 Thank you everyone. It was an emotional day, but a good day, I visited her urn for the first time. I had to hesitate at the entrance to the room where they prepared the urn for visitation. I cried when I lay eye on it. I know her soul is not confined in there, but still, the content of the urn used to house my dear wife's soul. It contains the skin I caressed, the body I cuddled with and traveled the world with, the body who carried our baby boy to term. I wrote in the birthday card when I was sitting in front of the urn, accompanied by my Best Man, and her best friend. I decided not to burn the card and will probably keep it for myself, and our son. In the future I might write 2 of the same cards, with one card to burn, and one card to keep. I probably used 20 sheets of tissue paper throughout. But at the end I felt much relieved. We went to the restaurant where I first met her 6.5 years ago, I still vividly remember her humor and Vitality, as we embarked on our relationship. I pointed to the table where my wife and I first sat, and talked about how much she ate at the all-you-can-eat restaurant on our first date (She wasn't shy to show her appetite!) At dinnertime I ordered her usual drink (cranberry and Sprite), and left a table setting for her, with my card. We cut a birthday cake for her at home, sang the birthday song, then counted down to new year holding our son, with several of our friends next to us, watching the TV countdown. Life right now is still full of "triggers", if I let myself view them as triggers. I remember one NYE few years ago where we admired the fireworks on the Vegas Strip standing outside of the Bellagio by the fountain railing and shared a kiss when we counted down to the new year. I remember many of NYEs, and if I don't remember, the details, Facebook and our photos and videos will remember for me. I will always remember. I just hope the sharp stabbing pain will ease with time... and I hope some day I'll find inner peace and perhaps even some happiness when I think about her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Emeliza Posted January 3, 2017 Members Report Share Posted January 3, 2017 I am glad you were able to celebrate and glad you kept the card as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted January 3, 2017 Moderators Report Share Posted January 3, 2017 Your card is meaningful, I like that you chose "you are the one" it is a validation that death has not changed your feelings for her, and I know it hasn't. If anything, we feel all the more for them. I also only had my husband in my life for 6 1/2 years, how I wish it could have been 50 or more! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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