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Anxiety while driving


Missingyou05

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Posted

I'm having a lot of difficulty driving! My mother passed away from cancer in June of 2014. I was with her and holding her hand. 18 months later my father passed away suddenly of a stroke. I woke up to find him passed out on the couch. Due to my occupation, I have CPR training and began performing that right away while I was on the phone with 911. It didn't work. My father was already too far gone and they were certain he wouldn't make it to the hospital. I felt guilt while calling his mother to tell her that her first born son had died, and I tried to save him, but failed. I have a great relationship with my Grandmother, so naturally she did not blame me at all, but it was and is still there. 3 weeks later, my fathers best friend died of cancer as well. He was a man i called dad, and called my father daddy. I was really close to him. In the months following, the story got crazier. Not only was I dealing with his estate, but the cottage that my parents owned was broken into by someone we knew! To make it worse, he stole my parents items, and moved them to my dads best friends cottage a kilometer away! after that ordeal, I was selling my fathers house, and was having it painted for the sale, and the painters were stealing items! I managed to get it all back. As if that was not enough, I found out that my fathers neighbours son had robbed a store with a butcher knife and the police wanted me to testify in court! To put everything into perspective, I am a 29 year old woman, and an only child. I was living with my parents during their deaths as I was completing my college degree. 

I managed through everything, and got it all sorted out, but now that things have calmed down, I have a very big fear of driving! I'm afraid that my hand will suddenly jerk the wheel and I will crash. I'm also afraid that someone else will not be paying attention and will swerve into me. I find I have sensory overload, and I can't focus on everything that is going on, on the road. Stop signs, other cars, my speed, road names. It feels very overwhelming and throws me into a panic attack!

Has anyone else felt this? Does anyone have any tips they can share? Obviously everything I went through is causing this, but why? 

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Posted

Dear Missingyou05,

My deepest condolences of the passing of your beloved mother and father and your father's best friend. I'm so sorry, I know how hard it is to deal with one loss but to have three very important people in your life pass in a short time is unimaginable. You are amazing person to have to deal with so much on your own as an only child. If it were me, I think the anxiety that comes with driving is related to fear. The fear of another loss. And given everything you have been through maybe some PTSD.  I hope you are able to access community resources and find a good person to talk with about this anxiety. Thinking of you. Please take care.

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