The fear of forgetting who she is scares me.

Her voice greeting me with a pet name when I return home.

The way she smells.

How she fits in my arms for a hug.

The little things that she would do to care for me.

The words of encouragement and advice; sometimes unsolicited. 

It would be an understatement to say that I am so incredibly scared that I am losing the small pieces of her with each day being the longest that I have lived without her.  Now that she is gone, there are pieces of her that I cannot get back, cannot relive, cannot have and hold onto too.  I would trade anything in the world for pieces of her again.

But I will forever have her memories, the way she carved out my childhood, how she raised me.  These I hold tightly to as precious, treasured gifts that will never leave me.  These are core pieces of who I am today.  I am so grateful for this.

I miss you mom.