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Losses From Long Ago


jisaac140

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4everjoeysmom

Jackie, we are in the midst of a family crisis too. A continuation from before, having to do with Michael's children, and everything is pointing toward us having to leave Ecuador--and I feel like I am in the middle of a nightmare. Our hearts are breaking... I'll write more later, but please keep us too in your prayers. Love you! -Claudia

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Hi Jackie, i can't stay on here long, but i wanted you to know i'll be here in the next few days. I'm in the library at the moment, then got other things to do....grrr!

Yes, i guess im still hurting a little, many years after my dad's passing. it's still hard today.

Anyhow, thank you for what you've said, and i'm praying for you and your family as you face a difficult time xxxxxx

God bless

Sue xx

Ps Love you both Claudia and Jackie!

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Claudia,

Hi, just sent you an email, I have not read any other posts so if I jumped ahead without reading everything I am sorry. You are as always in my thoughts and prayers. Much love sent your way, Jackie

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Sue...

Hi dear, I have not forgotten you, I have just had so much on my plate in the past week. I don't know if I told you that I have begun working from home part time. You would think that would free up some time, but it doesn't seem to be so far. I am hoping to go and get a new phone (something is wrong with mine, you have to shout in it). I go out in the backyard at home when I used it and I am sure my neighbors think I am crazy because I am shouting in my phone! As soon as I do that I will add international calling as well. I am not sure if Vontage has international calling (that's our house phone). I'll check that out as well. Sometimes it is so much easier to communicate by phone, like right now I would love to pickup the phone and call Claudia and let her know how much I care and that I am praying for her. She called me once when I was having a bad time packing my brothers apartment, we didn't speak but she left a voice mail, I still have that on my phone. I play it sometimes when I get down. Just a friend letting you know how much they care for you and pray for you. That means alot. Hopefully we can talk soon. You are in my prayers, it's funny, now that I talk with you I think of my daughter since you are so close in age! Talk with you soon. Peace and blessings, Jackie

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Hi Jackie, sorry i've not been on here myself, i've not been well (pesky headaches!) and i've just recently begun a confidence course (self esteem, empowerment, assertiveness etc) and i think it runs for about a month. It's 2 days a week (monday and tuesday, or it could be 3 depending on the subject etc) 10am to 3pm. It breaks up my week for me and changes my routine, so i may be on here either the middle of the week, or the end, or both.

I'm sorry you're having problems with your phone. I call a friend in the USA on international and he keeps saying to me 'tap your phone' so i tap it on the back, otherwise he's like 'hello????? are you there????' and i have to shout a bit too! Well, only a little. I hope things work out for you. I'm sorry this international package thing is a pain for you. I had to get it on BT (British Telecom), and i was on the phone for an hour and half 'because their system was down' or something when i tried to sort it. But, it's sorted and i really hope your phone package works for you.

I'll be on here probably tomorrow or near the end of the week. In the meantime, i'm praying for you, and I hope your part time goes well for you!

God bless you and Claudia and Ben xxx

Sue

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Hi Jackie, hope things are going well for you at the moment, just thought I'd pop in and say hi oxoxoxoxox

 

I'll keep a prayer for you and Ben xx

Sue x

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Hi Sue, as you can tell I have done nothing with my phone as far as international calling. Please do not think I am trying to avoid you, I just have not had time.  Probably will not take care of until mid-novemeber.  Hope all has been well with you.  I got an email from Ben yesterday.  He gave me his address so I have started working on a package for him.  Email me if you want his address, he would probably love to receive a card or letter.  Wish my dad were here to talk with him.  I know that he would have so much to tell him.  Ben said he thinks of his Uncle Jeff frequently.  They were very close, Jeff got Ben his first job when we returned to Texas and they worked together for over a year.  I look back and see how involved he was with my kids, they were very close.  Sometimes I forget that I am not the only one grieving and missing him.  The holidays always gets my youngest daughter down, she misses her PawPaw so much.  Really they all do.  That makes me smile sometimes to know that they had such an impact on their lives but at the same time it makes me sad because they cannot get that extended love.  My kids are young, too young to be without their grandparents.  Going to get some work done now, take care of yourself.  Let me know how you are.  Peace and blessings, Jackie

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Hi Jackie, I understand you've been very busy.  Good luck with the phone mid-November xxxx

I know what you mean about feeling like you're the only one grieving about a loved one.  When my mum died, I felt torn apart.  Because she lived in a Nursing Home, she made friends with the nursing staff, so a lot of the staff missed her, and this surprised me cos I felt I was the only one hurting sooo bad. 

I suppose when you grieve,  you just want to concentrate on getting through, or easing your own pain, which I know isn't easy.  People say 'time heals'.  Does it??

Thank you so much for considering me to have Ben's address.  I'll send you a separate email as you requested.  I'm a little short on time this morning, got about 5 things to do in one go!  I'm fine, just getting my life in order.....

God bless you and Ben xxxxx and Thank You again xxxxx

hope to write again soon

Sue xx

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Have just returned from days away from home.  Travelling through country Victoria.  These old historical towns have ornate cemeteries dated back to the 1800.  They all seem the same.

After passing a third cemetry, a very odd thought entered my mind, almost a voice whispering.  It told me that I was on the other side, all those gone before were in one place and even if I walked the cemetry I could never be with them till my time comes. 

Micheal is with these souls that have gone before.  He joins my parents, my grandparents, his still born brother and countless others that have their own place now, far away disconnected from this world we remain in. 

Odd thoughts, different days, nothing as I am becoming aware is the same and they way I see things have definitely altered forever.

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My mother died when i was seven and i was never sure how to talka bout it or ex oress the pain that I feel because of it.  i am now 28 and i know it still hurts me  because of how i reac to others in relationships.  i feel a need to hold everyone close.  ( maybe uncorfortably at times).  i am never really able to fully partiviapte inlife because of this pain.  I feel numb most of the time or that I have to hide the pain because of how embarrassed i am to feel it.  I want so badly to go througha grieving process that allow s me to accept everything allow mw to move on.  I am tired of being this torn up about things that are apparently normal losses for a not so grief stricken person.  I have become more sensitive to things than I think I really am.  I finally feel that my potential for creativity and life in general cannot be fully realized until i work through this.  i just do not know where to start.   any suggestions would be a great help.

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Wish I Knew - One thing I read in your post that I feel a need to respond to is that you have felt embarassed about how you are feeling at times.  It is so very sad that our society seems to expect those who are in pain to hide their pain behind a mask of happieness.  Even tho you lost you mom so long ago, I don't think you've been able to let yourself delve into how very much that loss has impacted your life.  Have you tried reading books on grief of loss of a mom - if not, simply reading how others are dealing with such a loss on the Loss of Mom forum might be helpful.  I lost my mom Sept. 08, 2005 - and even tho it's been quite a struggle, I'm doing better now than I was at the beginning, but still find myself hiding behind a fake smile just so others won't be uncomfortable.....but there are days when I don't pretend, and I simply let others around me know that I'm in a down place and missing mom more than every and to please just let me be there until I'm ready to get out of my hole....don't try pulling me out...simply be by me and wait patiently for me to return to a less down mode.  I'm rambling tonight....but wanted to at least say again - please don't be embarassed about how you are feeling and I think it's great that you are reaching out for suggestions on how to deal with your emotions.  TAKE CARE!

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Brandon - Please do not use these boards to broadcast your own stuff.  If you are indeed dealing with grief and wish to join in discussions, fine, but if not, please find somewhere else to advertise and leave these boards along.  I speak for myself and I am not affiliated with Beyond Indigo except to come here and try to help myself and others endure a journey we didn't plan on taking.

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Have sent through email to company that promotes this advertising.  Not sure what it will do, but hey it felt good to let them know!!!

 

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Karl - Or whoever you are - Please do not use this forum for your personal advertising!  It is extremely rude of you to prey on people who are in various stages of grief.

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4everjoeysmom

There is NO Karl.  These blasts of phrma ads (in spanish no less) are random hits made by people who get paid to use programs that seek out web sites where their ads can be easily blasted in.  Web sites that do not require a log in for users, that llow guests to randomly post, are huge benefits for these kinds of practices, because they can continue doing this without consequence and just hope some dummy will click on their ad and get sucked into their promotions for scam drug rip offs.  I have posted at least twice a serious consideration for Beyond Indigo to make this site one which guests may browse and read but CANNOT post unless they are logged in as a member/user.  This is the ONLY way to put a stop to this kind of activity that I know of.  I hope they seriously consider it.  I know its a drag for people who want to post without committing.  BUT I am seeing that MOST people commit.  It would be a BLESSING to the majority not to have to deal with this issue.  Wouldn't it?  Maybe if we continue to (many of us) make this suggestion to BI, they will finally do something about it.  Just my 2 cents.

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Hi all,

These "guest" posts are a bug in the system. We aren't allowing them to post. We are trying to find the hole and "plug it" so to speak.  We are trying to track it down!

Kelly

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4everjoeysmom

Thanks Kelly.  I know it's a challenge to keep up with it all, and we so appreciate you and your colleagues for this wonderful web site.   :)   -Claudia

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Guess who is traveling the farthest to our reunion?

It's Trudi.

Trudi is traveling all the way from Australia to Minneapolis, MN for our Beyond Indigo reunion in August!

If Trudi can make it, so can you! 

Come check our reunion page: http://www.beyondindigo.com/reunion/

Hope to see you there!

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Dear Members,

We are excited to mention that we are moving to a more new and improved message boards on MONDAY MORNING AUGUST 9th! The boards will be done for a few hours while we are making the conversation. Remember we posted information about this move a month ago. For some of you this might seem a bit sudden,  but when we were reviewing the site we determined the current message board you are using is out of date and the company that designed it is no longer in existence. The good news is this new message board will have new features that have been requested in the past like more fields we can add to your profiles and a chat room up to 20 people at one time. If we find the chat room is bursting at the seams we will add additional room for extra people. All your old posts, private messages and such will be migrated to the new message board. You might have to put up your profile picture again but not sure. The new company will be doing the migration for us. Here is a short list of some of the new features on the board:

- Custom Profile Fields

- Users can customize their profile pages by selecting a background color or background image, with tiling options.

- Facebook and Twitter Integration

- users can respond to multiple posts at once with "mini-quote"

- Pinned discussion threads - like welcome to our board etc.

- Announcements made across some boards or the entire message board

- Search: Users can easily find all content generated by a particular member, by clicking the 'Find Content' button that appears on the main profile page, or in the Mini Profile Popup which can be accessed throughout the board. The results page allows content to be filtered by application, as well whether the member created it or merely participated in it.

- Privacy: allows users to sign in anonymously, hiding them from the online users list. Users also have the option to disable personal conversations and user-to-user emails, as well as ignore other users if necessary.

The next exciting piece of news about the new message board is it will have a new domain name of www.grieving.com for search engine optimization purposes. It will still be apart of Beyond Indigo and can be found through www.beyondindigo.com. We will be redirecting your current URL's to this new domain name but we might miss a few. If that is the case simply go back to www.grieving.com or www.beyondindigo.com to find your message board thread. We will try to make the transition as seamless as possible.

The bottom line is the new board will give us room to grow our community and more options to interact better with each other.

If you have any questions please direct them to feedback@beyondindigo.com.

Kelly Baltzell, MA

CEO/President

Beyond Indigo Family

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Hi i am new to this forum and i am a college student and i lost my beloved aunt to cancer about twelve years ago. For a project im going to make a survey about coping with people's losses due to cancer. im working on it now, but would mind to take it for me? It would mena so much to me. Thank you so much. Depending on you answer i will send the survey to you very soon.

Wish I Knew - One thing I read in your post that I feel a need to respond to is that you have felt embarassed about how you are feeling at times. It is so very sad that our society seems to expect those who are in pain to hide their pain behind a mask of happieness. Even tho you lost you mom so long ago, I don't think you've been able to let yourself delve into how very much that loss has impacted your life. Have you tried reading books on grief of loss of a mom - if not, simply reading how others are dealing with such a loss on the Loss of Mom forum might be helpful. I lost my mom Sept. 08, 2005 - and even tho it's been quite a struggle, I'm doing better now than I was at the beginning, but still find myself hiding behind a fake smile just so others won't be uncomfortable.....but there are days when I don't pretend, and I simply let others around me know that I'm in a down place and missing mom more than every and to please just let me be there until I'm ready to get out of my hole....don't try pulling me out...simply be by me and wait patiently for me to return to a less down mode. I'm rambling tonight....but wanted to at least say again - please don't be embarassed about how you are feeling and I think it's great that you are reaching out for suggestions on how to deal with your emotions. TAKE CARE!

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Hi everyone,

I am new to this and i am a college student and for a project in my writing class i am creating a survey. See i lost my aunt who i was extremely close to about twelve years and my survey is about how people coped and grieved with loss of their loved one i will be making this survey very soon. Thank you so much!

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