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blue-2017

lost my younger brother...

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Hello everyone. I don't know where to start from and not even sure if I'm ready to write something about my brother yet. Just thinking about him makes me so sad and brings me into tears.

My younger brother, who was in his 30's, passed away about a month and a half ago in late August, by heart attack.

It was so sudden. So unexpected.

He collapsed right in front of our front yard. If he could've walked 20 more seconds, he could've made it home.

He was on his way after work on a Monday. It was raining and dark, so he was not found for a while. My doorbell rang and someone told me he had no pulse, so I ran out and tried my best to recall the CPR I had learned long time ago while someone called the ambulance. Unfortunately, nothing worked, and at the emergency room, my parents and I were told the unbelievable tragic news.

We scattered his ashes in the sea, his favorite place. He would always travel to islands and beaches alone whenever he had holidays, and had one planned early this month too.

Though I am his elder sister, we spent a lot of time together and I have so much memories of him.

I still cannot believe he is gone. I feel like he is on his vacation and will come back home any second.

This feels so surreal. It's only been a short time since he left us, and I'm afraid how I can go on with my life without him around anymore.

It's very painful.

I try to be positive but it's not easy.

He was so young and so healthy and had so much future ahead of him. This happened so suddenly. He disappeared one day.

I pray for him, that he is happy and is enjoying without any worries wherever he is now.

Thank you for reading.

 

 

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Dear Blue-2017, I have lost my loved one to heart attack 4 mths ago too. He has elder sister just like you. We talked about him and she shared their childhood memories. is sad how one beautiful life who had so much future ahead of them can be taken away so quickly. We will forever miss him.   

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Hello. I’m new to this group. My brother died 19 months ago from an overdose of fentanyl and Valium. He had a drug problem since his teens. He was 39 when he died. Worse, he died the day after my son was born. He wanted to meet my son, but my wife was very sick and wasn’t up to having visitors.I asked him to come up the next day. The next morning on my way up to see my wife and son I got the phone call that he died.I blamed myself for a long time, thinking it would have been different if he came up with his family. I think my father blames me too. I haven’t heard from him for a long time. My brother’s death haunts me, and the hurt never goes away. As much as my wife and kids help and the support I have received, it still hurts so badly. I hope to one day be able to look back and smile at the times we shared, I still haven’t gotten there. It feels like I’m going to suffer the rest of my life, and I can’t take it. Thank you for your time.

 

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It has been 3 months now since my brother left us... but it is not getting any easier... I miss him so much everyday.

His clothes and his belongings are still in his room, so everything reminds me of him and I can still smell his scent and that makes me feel sadder and miss him more.

I don't know how I can deal with this pain. Everyday is a struggle for me, and each day feels very long. 

I cannot sleep without taking an anxiety pill. Some days, I still wake up in the middle of the night. Those nights are more painful, and it's even more painful if I had a dream about him and everything in the dream felt like reality, except to just find out it was a dream.

It's night time again and I'm scared to sleep...

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Dear Blue and Mike,

My deepest sympathies and condolences. I'm very sorry for your loss. I know its an extremely difficult time. Please know everything you are feeling and thinking is natural and normal part of grief. My one therapist told me it could take me up to 5 years or longer to work through my grief.

Be kind to yourself. If you want maybe consider talking to a grief counsellor, joining a support group. I also find these websites helpful What's Your Grief and the Grief Healing Blog.

Take care of yourself the best you can. Please know we are all here to listen and support you. Thinking of you both.

 

 

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Blue 2017,  first of all I want to give my condolences.I went through what you are going through. The grief was overwhelming.  I will be honest, I'm still hurting bad. Your loss is very recent.  It took me months to start having decent days,  where I could think of Brian without feeling sad and guilty.  I was blinded to how bad other family members were hurt by Brian's loss. I couldn't see past my own grief. Be supportive to other family members. Several of my friends lost their siblings. I go to them for support, too. I know you hurt bad. It's going to be a while to feel better. I still have moments of grief and rage. 

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