Loss of an Adult Child

[ericasmom]

Sus, Eri used to brush my hair and beg me while she did that I would dye my hair when I went gray, and i would laugh and say, it's doubtful Erz, I wear little to no makeup, why would I dye my hair. I don't want you to look old Mom she would reply. I inherited my parents late gray gene, so I am getting gray now at 55. I doubt I will dye my hair, and I think Eri is fine wtih it. I told her the same thing, all my aging is a sign of my living, a timeline of my years. I hope it is a long timeline, and I sure wish Eri's was a long one, but those gray hairs and worry lines are here for a reason, the grand and the achingly sad, all earned though the sometimes not simple life.

Trud, love when you say dumbass and idiot. Maybe cause I hear that delightful accent, that lilting voice.

Carol, that boy is one dolly-pie. I love the painting too, of course she will adore it. I cried just from your description, would have needed a mop to sit there in person.

Hanging on to all of those aching from the dates in June .

[mysonrich]

Gray hair. My mother went gray very young. She dyed her hair for years and sometimes she asked me to help with her very thick hair. When she decided to stop the coloring, she had the most beautiful,soft white hair. The softness of her hair is something I will always remember. My sister went gray very young as well. She was 43 when she died so I will never know. My grandfather died at 99, with little gray in his hair.

I was starting to go gray. I colored and colored and one day made a “ bozo” mistake. I am a redhead, or was. Now I let the gray grow. It looks good to me. My hairdresser doesn't want to color it either. On occasion I do get a rude comment, how it ages me, I consider the source. My gray is here to stay. I earned that much.

Thanks Carol. Rich would have been 23 earthly years old. 3 birthdays we have missed celebrated together. “First Grade. First Grade”. Its funny how I can hear that even here. The kids are so cute.

Sherry, very pretty Robin eggs and a treat to watch. Maybe a live web-cam set-up with a link for all to watch? Betty would then have 3 nests to watch !!

Betty, I haven't attended any concerts yet, but I did get to the second day of a town wide yard sale. My mother also loved yard sales and auctions and she had a great mind/memory which served her well when she started to deal on a small scale,antiques. Anyway,not so much left on the second day and while I was admiring a vase when a handsome man with a french accent said that I could have the entire table of vases for $5.00. ( my mother would never pass up a box lot). I am now the proud? Ha ha owner of a box of vases, some interesting. The man went on to tell me that he was supposed to sell his/her wares and he wanted to go golfing but he had to finish his chore first. So I like vases and am a sucker for a handsome man with a french accent !!

Lorri, very hurtful remark and without explanation. I'm sorry.

I have been thinking about the day Rich was born. I remember the heartburn I had while I carried him and his hair, one piece sticking straight up at his crown. The funny thing is, he was in style. The guys were wearing their hair all jelled up at the time.

Rich weighed 7lbs 4 oz's. He looked so skinny compared to my first born at 8lbs, 10.5 ounces. But, when I look at my baby pictures and his, we are the same. Same legs,hands,fingers and we both had to have one foot sticking out of our blanket for air.

I saw a little boy riding his bike to school today. He reminded me of Rich. he rode/pedalled the same way. Standing a lot...pedal..pedal..pedal.................

Trudi, sounds like many things happening at once. Busy busy.

Dee, Rhonda, Lorri, Diane, Dan,Greg, Sharon, Colleen, Sus, Kathy....thinking of you all.

[hotrod]

Good Morning Indigos

Betsy Wow you certainly were a big winner at that yard sale A handsome man, with a French accent and a table full of vases for $5.00 What a great day!!! I too love to watch the children, playing in the playground , bike riding and doing what little boys do. It does bring back the rememories and smiles. Be gentle with yourself this week. Your mom sounds like quite a lady You must resemble her in many ways.

Sherry Betsy has a great idea about having a " Live Web Cam on the Robins nest" It would help me . They say that the young hawk and eagles will have fledged by the end this month. Notice for a city person I learned a few birder expressions from my experience The word "Fledged" is now part of my vocabulary. I will have nest withdrawal soon.

Trudie I do hope that Mal is recovering I know all about those man size colds!!! Maybe he should get a warmer coat!! One like Sir Mutley perhaps Oh and It is wonderful news about he new baby.

Dee It is so sweet that Eri loved to brush your hair and urged you to keep it that color to stay young. I am also a firm believer that we age gracefully by all the experiences, good and bad that come into our lives. Our bodies reflect the wisdom and experience that we have attained. My hair was pepper and salt from my early 50s on and I loved it. When 9-11 happened and I was forced to work from home because I had no office, I was restless and insane for a time. I decided that I had to do something drastic to mark the huge change in my life. I went out and had my hair dyed blond and have stayed that way since. One day, recently I was riding the bus and a women I rode with each day come over and called me a "traitor" It appears she always admired how I let my hair be natural and did not touch it up We talked and smiled and that was that You just reminded me of who I use to be. Little did I know that 9-11 was mild compared to what I would face in a few short years The loss of Stephen

Carol Wonderful update and post so uplifting What a great little league story I am so glad it worked out Stephen was a Catcher for a few yeas on Little League and he loved that position Cute picture.

Lorie Sorry about your sis such unnecessary pain. I hope Kody is successful on the new track

Colleen I would love to see a picture of your flowers I bet they are lovely

Have to run Indigos I will hold good thoughts

[westleysmom]

Betsy-Holding you close as you treasure those memories of Rich's entry into this world. It's so funny the things you think about when you look at picture or just go back in your memory to those days. On the day before my kid's birthdays, I always do that, remember where we went and what we were doing. Hugs

Diane and Cheryl-You both have actually helped me with your posts lately. When I came here last year about this time, I was only five months (it was Jan 13 2010 when Westley died) into my grief. I could barely shop for groceries because I would look at things that I used to buy for Westley, I cried constantly, I didn't want to go home on Fridays because work was a "safe" place without many Westley memories. So many of the same things that you're describing. I told everyone here and they said they'd been through it, that it was normal. But...I was afraid they were just saying that to be nice to me and make me feel not so sad. I thought I was the only person who felt that way or thought those things, so there was something wrong with me beyond the obvious fact that my only son had died. Now I see that I'm not the only one. I still feel that I failed Westley and everyone who loved him. I hardly go to the cemetery where my Daddy is buried, because I can't "face" him. I hope that it helps you to know this, as it does me. Because if everyone on here last summer was telling me the truth and they had been where I was, then someday maybe just maybe I can be where they are. And if I made it through last summer feeling as you do now, you can too. I'm not saying I'm anywhere to be envied right now, but I wouldn't want to go back, and that must mean I've moved forward. I hope I'm not talking in too big of a circle, I'm almost confusing me. But that's not too hard. Just wanted to let you know that you are both in my thoughts and it will get better, slowly and not with any predictable pattern. But a little at the time.

Carol-I could just hear the sweet voices of that bunch of kids, Damon the cutest of them all. I always cried at school functions where the little ones sang. I loved all the pictures, the watercolor thing you did is really neat.

Susannah-I'm glad you are at a place of peace. I can imagine you turning around for just a split second seeing Stephanie in your mind's eye and leaping to run to her. I imagine that is what it will be like when we see them again. And if you can get to a peaceful place, then there is hope for me too.

Lorri-Sorry for your sister's insensitive remark, whatever it meant. My sister's can be pretty blunt too, but less so lately than before.

I haven't had a haircut since January and I don't think I've colored it for several months at least. I have an appt to get it cut Wednesday, but still debating on the color. I usually do it at home anyway. I didn't color it much last year, but did during the winter. I'm sure I look old and equally sure it doesn't really matter how old I look, I'm as old as I am and not a day less. And some days I feel about a thousand years old anyway.

[lolynbo]

THANKS GALS....I WILL BE OK JUST SEEMS THAT WALL GETS TALLER AND IM ON THE OTHER SIDE OF IT SOMETIMES...AND I DECIDE I "DONT WANNA CRAWL OVER IT"...

CAROL HOW CUTE ARE THOSE PICS OF THE LIL ONES...SO INNOCENT.....SEEMS LIKE JUS THE OTHER DAY IT WAS MINE, NOW THERE ALL GRADUATED AND ONES GONE.............SIGH....I REMEMBER HEARING KIMBERLY WLD GRADUATE IN 2002, KOURTNEY IN 2004 AND KODY WAY DOWN IN 2011....CAME AND WENT NOW.....WOW.....BUT YOUR PICS MADE ME SMILE THANK YOU

HAD A BIG MESSY DAY YEST...WE BOUGHT A CUSTOM CABINET TO PUT THE TOP LOAD WASHER DRYER IN...WELL THAT WASHER RUINED THE BOTTOM AND I CLD SEE BLACK MOLD AND ROTT...SO AFTER LONG TIME OF PUTTING UP WITH IT YEST AFTER NASCAR I TOLD MONTY AND KODY THAT CAB WAS COMING OUT....MONTY GOT BIZZY RIGHT AWAY...OMGOSH...........IT WAS ROTTON UNDERNEATH CLEAN THREW DONT NO HOW THE WASHER DIDNT FALL THROOGH, MONTY HAD TO TAKE IT APART TO GET IT OUT THE DOOR, WHEN HE DID IT HAD EITHER TERMITES OR MAGGITS IN IT (UNDERNEATH WHERE U CLDNT SEE) AND ONE HUGE ASSSSSSSSSSSSSS 4 INCH SLUG.....I ALMOST THREW UP....I NEW IT WAS BAD BUT DIDNT NO IT WAS THAT BAD.....WELL LYNN GOT ON TO ME CUZ I WAS WALKN AROUND IN ALL THE BLACK MOLD (MOPING WITH BLEACH ALL ALONG AND SCRUBBING)...WELL ITS ALL CLEAN NOW MOLD IS GONE AND ITS BEEM BLEACHED AND BLEACHED AND THEN BLEACHED AGAIN....GAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

LONG STORY SHORT DONT GET FRONT LOADING WASHER

[ericasmom]

Rhonda, your writing does create a circle, one that helps many I am sure. As Colleen so eloquently stated, she stays here to help those newer to this loss, which is why I have stayed so long as well. I feel it is a heartfelt duty of sorts, my hand helping up the next, and your hand just brought others up to breathe again, letting them know that you were where they were one year ago and that you do notice the difference, that while not a great spot in the scheme of life, it is many steps forward that allow you this view. And how nice to let Cheryl and Diane know that they helped you, because that is the circle, hand to hand to heart and we weave our stories out of tears and ache and joy too, finding strength in our new lives. We weave a circle and I do believe our Children can see the colors and the shapes of our spirits as we heal. It is slow and laborious, and there are many times we want to quit because what really can help us have what we once did? It is when we acknowledge the loss and terror and then the loss of who we were that we begin to build again, anew.

Betsy, a handsome man with french accent and vases sounds like a good haul to me too. I love vases, alone or with flowers, just like that they are vessels that can hold so many beautiful things. And Lord knows I like a good looking man now and again. I know the times are tough, but the memories are dear and my prayers are that those sweet times fill your senses today and tomorrow as you wander the terrain.

[ericasmom]

Lorri, I know that you feel you have a big wall around you, makes you feel lonely but we are on the side with you, we are right there with you. I know the sense of throwing up when you see something that makes you sick and you realize it has been with you for a while, that is how I felt and still get queasy with the giant friggin ant farm that existed in our wall. Now that the guys are finding so much bad wood again, 9 years later, I get nervous to hear that we have more ant colonies, fingers crossed that we don't.GROSS!

[dwsmithrn]

rhonda, thanks for the encouragment....i do feel like a miniscule of progress has been made....i realize that i do go back and forth on any given day, but i read about grief, especially loss of a child and suicide on top of that, and there is not set pattern for grief (everyone is different) and the books and the counselor say you actually yo-yo back and forth. i know i do that. when i read the posts, i see what has happened to everyone. still, there are good days and some bad days for all of you, no matter what the time-frame has been. i think i know where i am headed, and i don't rush the process of grief....i know it is a long, long journey. i hate the pain and sorrow and sadness and the anxiety i feel, but i understand, i need to GO THROUGH the process and face this journey in my own way. no matter how sad i am, i must face the beast. i wish there were an easier way, but there isn't....this is it. as my brother says, it is what it is, and it isn't fair.

i will keep waking up every day and trying and that's all i can do for now....

i have you all in mind as you come up on birthdays and angelversaries.....i don't know how i will handle those as they come up. but, know that i am thinking of you and have you in my heart.....love, diane

[westleysmom]

Diane-You're so right, it is what it is and we're doing all we can do. Big hugs to you.

Lorri-We found termites in our bathroom after we'd lived in the house for a year or so and I didn't even want to be in there until we got it treated. Water damage is really bad news, I'm glad you got it fixed. I toyed with the idea of front load washer when they came out, but you're making me glad I didn't get one.

Betsy-Lucky you. I don't know any men with French accents! I used to work with a man whose wife was French, and he told me once that he loved to hear me talk! I thought that was so funny. I guess whatever you're not used to is exotic sounding.

Betty-I always think your hair looks so nice in your pictures, it never occured to me whether it was your "natural" color or not. I like you blond, but I'm sure it looked good before too.

[lolynbo]

I WILL HAVE A NICE FRONT END LOADER FOR SALE SOON...LOL...YES DEE SOOO GROSS, AND AS I SAID I MOP VACCUMM CLEAN DAILY IT LOKS LIKE IM FILTHY HERE, I HAVE PICS BUT TRUTHFULLY THEY ARE TO BAD TO SHOW...

HAVING MORE ELECTIVE SURGERY JULY 13,,,,GONNA (SORRY GUYS MEN CLOSE YOUR EYES)...MOVE MY NIPPLES AGAIN AND GET RID OF LOOSE SKIN THAT I HAVE UNDER NEATH THE BOOBIES..AND PULLING TUMMY UP AND HAVING LIPO...GOTTA DO WHAT I GOTTA DO TO KEEP ME GOING, FEEL LIKE MAYBE THIS WILL MAKE ME FEEL NOT SO FRICKN OLD AND RUN DOWN....MAYBE I WILL LOOK AND FEEL GOOD FOR OUR TRIP IDK...ITS ONLY MONEY WE CANT TAKE IT WITH US...

[ericasmom]

Good luck Lorri on the surgery, my sis had it done quite a long while ago, she was pleased. The whole ant and larvae stage of bugs in our homes freaks me out, but I like bugs and critters outside.

Just was reading out under the birch tree and saw a lot of flying back and forth from the pine and noticed a momma feeding her baby robin. Looks like there is one baby, but they conceal their nests really well so it could be that I am not seeing the whole thing. SO pretty, feeding and caring for her babe.

[mysonrich]

Well it's been a nice day weather wise. I went shopping at Wegmans after work. There are 3 grocery stores right down the road but I needed something different, as in scenery.

I was looking for the little pecan pies. Just the small one , in a little pie tin, in a little box. Rich loved those. His dad even had a 9 inch pecan pie at Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner. I think it was Christmas. Rich must get the love of pecan pies from his dad. Always too sweet for me.

SO if anyone here is out shopping and you see a little pecan buy, help me remember my boys birthday, buy one, take a bite and think of him and our angels with each other now.

I also noticed wind-chimes on sale. I like wind-chimes, my aunt has a moose wind-chime from Alaska I think, I had to stuff newspaper in that, talk about Loud.

I saw an angel. Its kind of girly color but I was thinking, maybe Rich hangs out with a girl where he is and I was supposed to buy it for them both. I don't know.

My new baby boy with his hair sticking up. Probably thinking, “ Mom, get this outfit off of me”!!!

Rich at 4 months. He probably liked his baseball uniform.

wind-chime on the backporch.

[Toby'sMom]

Hello,

I am thankful today for the improving weather here in So Cal. We have had very gloomy weather - which is not terribly unusual if it burns off in the afternoon, but for the last couple of weeks the sun just did not come out. My son Toby's memorial is this Saturday at the beach and I think the weather is going to be mid 70's and sunny. We are having a pretty large balloon launch, so I am keeping my fingers crossed that the weatherman is right this time.

I planned Toby's Celebration of Life to be a bit later in the grieving process hoping that our family would be more able to be "present." I have read so many posts from parents who could not recall anything about their child's memorial. And although it will only be day 78, I know I can handle more than I could have at day 8. There was quite a bit of pressure to do a memorial quickly - and I just couldnt face it then. I know it is going to be a difficult day, but I am hoping that I will at least be open enough at this point in the process to appreciate the love others had for my son. The whole memorial planning process has been a good thing in some ways. I have been able to reflect on what he loved, who he was and am trying to make the day about him and not about what other people think it should be. It is a bit untraditional - we are having a luncheon at a nice hotel on the beach with his pictures in a slideshow, a table full of his "stuff" and then the ballon launch. I am hoping each person will write their own message to Toby on a balloon and then find a private moment on the beach to release the balloon - or his friends can do it in a group if they want to. We'll see how it progesses - not too much structure. I am hoping for uplifting versus sad.

There are moments when I still cannot beleive it is true. I miss him so much.

Thanks to all of you for sharing your stories. It proves to me there is a way forward, and that the little bit of progress I think I have made will continue in little bits and pieces as time moves on.

Cheryl

[quellsmom]

It is an ordinary Monday for a lot of people out there. I wish I was one of them. This weekend is coming straight for me and I have nowhere to hide. I cannot believe my son has not been here for a year. It seems like three weeks at the most. Where have I been the last year?? Saturday will be my youngest son's 6th birthday. I feel so selfish being sad about his birthday, but that day last year was the last day I saw Jaquell alive. The next day my world was shattered. I feel like I am drowning again and it seems to me everyone thinks I should be "over it". There is a walk scheduled that day in my son's memory. The money raised goes to his scholarship fund. That is my one moment of happiness in this , that he is NOT forgotten, that he continues to help people as he did when he was here. I am fighting those dark feelings, trying, enduring, but mostly it feels hopeless.

[ericasmom]

Quells Mom, to feel yourself sinking right now is what we have all felt as we approached our first, second, and subsequent anniversaries. It just is the way things unfold. SOmetimes, fighting it is futile, sometimes letting yourself feel the ache and sinking is okay, you know you will not stay there forever, look at what you have done in the last year. You stood and you raised your other Kids, you won't stay down for long, let your tears fall. I am approaching my 8th year without ERi, and Sherry faces that tomorrow as the date of Davey's leaving, and we have that sinking feeling too, though less filled with such acute hurt than it used to be, the numbers do spell out with such stark reality, the last day.

I know it must be hard to celebrate your youngest one's birthday, though I am sure that Quell would want his Bro to have a great 6th birthday. My hope is with you as you find your balance between joy and heartache.

Cheryl, the balloon launch and luncheon sounds great. Untraditional or any other way is just right, and not up to anyone but you. Each July we have Eri-fest and balloon launch as well. Her friends still write messages to her and tie them on the ribbons of the balloons. We put my email on the note paper and have receieved a message telling us that the balloon was found in MIchigan. We live in Illinois, near Chicago. That was nice, a nice feeling.

Good luck this weekend to you both.

[ericasmom]

Davey, Davey, Davey, Davey, Davey, Davey,

Shine on Sweet Boy, Sweet Child of Sherry, smile on her as her tears fall, wrap your loving arms around she and your Dad, your whole Family, letting them know of your constant love and peace.

Sherry, I am right there walking alongside you- marking this 8th year.

With love and hope-

[ericasmom]

Rich I hope that this birthday sees you filled with peace Sweetie, and fueled by the love that your Mom holds for you, may you fly freely.

Happy Heavenly Day Rich

Betsy, pecan pies to you on this special day-sweet memories too, and should your tears fall, a gentle breeze to help dry them. May Rich's presence be felt all around you.

[mysonrich]

Davey Davey Davey, may your mom,dad,family,catch a glimpse of you today in the glory that is nature.Sherry, holding you close today in thought and prayer.

[hotrod]

Dear Betsy

What sweet photos of Baby Rich!!

I am having a Pecan Pie along with Dee

Happy Birthday Dear Rich

[hotrod]

Dear Sherry

I hope the warm memories of wonderful Davey fill your heart today and every day

Happy Birthday Davey

[shorty16]

David

David

David

David

Happy Heavenly Birthday. Huggs to you, Sherry

Colleen

[shorty16]

Rich

Rich

Rich

Rich

Thinking of you on this Angelversary in heaven surrounded by love. Hugs to you, Betsy

Colleen

[shorty16]

Diane

Love, Love, Love the picture of Nathan. You are smart!! It took me almost 7 months to post a picture of Brian. Thanks for letting us see his beautiful smile. He is in good company in heaven with the rest of our angels. I am sure Brian has already made friends with him and they are laughing together.

Colleen

[Guest msnher]

DAVEY - DAVEY - DAVEY - DAVEY - DAVEY - DAVEY - DAVEY - DAVEY - DAVEY - DAVEY NEVER FORGOTTEN!!!

Love to you and your family, Sherry!

[Guest msnher]

HAPPY BELLY BUTTON DAY, RICH! FLY BY YOUR MOTHER AND LET HER KNOW YOU'RE STILL WITH HER TODAY.

Love to you, Betsy!

[ericasmom]

On such a day as this-Blessings.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7-Tb_FsWRw&feature=related

[Guest msnher]

Carol - I love the pictures of Damon's kindger graduation. SO love the song! You and your family remain a constant in my prayers. Love you, my dear friend!

Quell's mom, Cheryl, Diane, I am glad you are here. Hold on to us.

We haven't heard from Amy, Crystal (Tyler's mom) and Crystal (Ashlee's mom) in a while. There are other members I am missing too. I would try to write everyone's name but don't want to risk forgetting someone. ALL of you remain in my thoughts and I hold you close to my heart. Sharon....Sending you love and light, too.

Rhonda - I loved your post to Diane and Cheryl. That's exactly how I feel about you, my friend!

Love you all!

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[dwsmithrn]

betsy and sherry.....i have you oh so close to my heart today.....hope you have some happy memories today as you go through the day on your babies heavenly birthdays.....i hope they show themselves to you in some beautiful way. love, diane

[westleysmom]

Happy Heavenly Birthday, Rich! Don't hog all the pecan pies, they're one of Westley's favorites too.

Betsy-Holding you close in my thoughts as you remember the day that you received the blessing of Rich into your world.

[westleysmom]

Davey-On the day you went away, you took a big piece of your Mama's heart. Take care of it for her. And give your sister Lisa a big kiss and hug as I'm sure you do every day.

Sherry-Hugs to you on this day that brings so many memories, not all of them good. I hope that you are able to find the good memories of Davey that you have and they bring you comfort and peace.

[dwsmithrn]

colleen....i did finally figure out how to get nathan's photo in there, but i don't know how to put a caption under the photo....can you tell me how to do that?

and smart.?.................no.....not with a computer and software................no, no, no........thanks for your help....and thanks for thinking i'm smart.....diane

[ericasmom]

Diane, the photo of Nathan is very sweet, so glad that you were able to post it. I too have tech. issues, when I first came, there were no options for photos and so when that option came available, it took me quite a few misses before I could post Erica's photo. I cannot remember how to change or add to the personal history under the photo however and actually need to add something so I will look for Colleen's instructions.

[westleysmom]

Lisa-Its good to see you here, although I'm sorry for the hard time leading up to the one year mark. I have those mixed feelings about family milestones too, not wanting to be too happy because a. Westley's not here to celebrate with us and b. what if something happens to one of them too? I think the reality of death and the finality of it take a long time to sink in, we just can't believe that it could happen to us or those we love so dearly. For me the dreading of the day was worse than the day. Hugs

Cheryl-The memorial service sounds like it will be just what you need right now. I hope the weather is nice and all goes well.

Diane-I'm a klutz with computers and pictures and all of that. I don't know how I ever got anything on here, I just muddle through. I'm glad to see Nathan's beautiful smile.

Lorri-Good luck with the surgery.

[shorty16]

Well my friends,

I tried updating my profile under the avatar in the right corner, but every time I try, the system tells me my first name, last name, zip and state cannot be left blank. I do not see where to enter them???

Sorry Diane, I tried to change my title under "My profile" in the pull-down menu next to my Shorty16, but was unable to save.

I am having a rough day, my friends. Sunday will be 3 years without my boy and than July 12 would have been his 20th birthday. How can Brian be 20? He died at 16. How does a 16 year old die? I am so lost today. Cannot concentrate, just want to crawl in bed and stay there, but I have to work to support my family.

Help!!, I need a hug

Colleen

[daveydow1]

Trudi----You said it so well-----"a normal reaction to an abnormal situation".....and yes,...I agree...

it is an understatement when one loses a beloved child...the heartache of all heartaches. As you

said----"the grief will ease, then sadness finds its place". I guess the sadness just becomes a

permanent thing in our hearts. Sending prayers for Mal's healing. Such good news about the

new expected baby. New babies sure are uplifting to the soul.

Diane----That's what is so good about this site. People new to the site find understanding and

friendship, and "oldies" like me find lots of inspiration from new people too. We all help each

other here......something that we may not be able to find elsewhere.....and at any time. You said

that you felt that you had made some miniscule progress.....that is so good. We who have lost

a dear child find that even miniscule progress.....however so small, is indeed a progress just

the same....no matter where along the journey of grief we are lucky enough to find it. I'm so glad

to hear that you have made this small progress.

Lorri----I, so understand what you mean about the wall between yourself and others. It is a good

description of how we can end up feeling. .....Like the wall can get higher as time goes by, and

people forget, or say insensitive things that hurts us.------such as what your sis said to you. Hard

to understand. I hope that you have a lovely time on your cruise, and it's something to look forward

to.

Sus----You are right..... I think that none of us is the same as we were 'before'.......how could we be ? Sending thoughts

you way, friend.

Carol----Great pics. Damien's K graduation sounds so very cute with the songs and all, and those

sweet little innocent kids looking forward to ......FIRST GRADE. My grandie will also be going into First Grade

in the fall. The other one (Trenton David) will not be going to K for another year. Thanks for kind words, friend.

Colleen----Your irises must be lovely. Ours are not as pretty as last year......short blooming due to odd weather patterns

I guess

HAPPY HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY, RICH.

Betsy---Thte live web cam would be nice,......BUT.....I wouldn't know the first thing about going about it. By the time I

figured it out,......the babies would have fledged...grown up....and started laying eggs in nests of their own. . I

am keeping a close eye on the nest, and will take pics as progress is happening.

Betty-----It's nice that you have followed the nesting of the hawks and eagles. ' Nest withdrawal'-----some new syndrome ??

Quellsmom-----Good to see you here at BI.

Peace to All.

Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry

[daveydow1]

THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR SENTIMENTS FOR DAVEY'S ANGEL DAY.......My friends here at BI are the best.

To All Our Angels.

Rise up slowly, Angel

I cannot let you go

Just drift softly midst the faces,

In sorrow now bent low.

Ease the searing pain,

Born in harsh unyielding truth

That Death could steal my loved one

From the glowing blush of youth.

Rise up slowly, Angel,

Do not leave me here alone,

Where warmth of mortal essence

Lies replaced by cold, hard stone.

Wrap me in your downy cape

Of sunshine warm with love,

And kiss a tear-stained mother's face

With moonlight from above.

Then wait for me at sunset,

Beside the lily pond,

And guide me safely homeward

To your world, which lies beyond.

Just spread your wings and take me

In reunion's sweet embrace,

And we shall soar, together,

To a different time and place.

(author unknown)

[heartbeataway]

☻/ღ˚ •。* ˚ ˚✰˚ ˛*★ 。 ˛ღ° 。* ° ˚ • ★ *˚ .ღ 。
/▌*˛˚ღ •˚ ˚˚ ✰*...Celebrating Davey & Rich ..... ★
/ \ ˚. ★ *˛ ˚ ✰。˚ ▌*˛˚ღ •˚★ *˛ ˚ ✰。˚˚ღ。* ˛˚ 。✰˚* ˚ ★ღ ˚ 。✰ *˚ .ღ 。
/

[Guest msnher]

(((((((Colleen)))))))

[ericasmom]

Hold on Col, we have you, we wish that we didn't , that you never knew of such a place, but we have you. You have so many dates in a row. Sorry sweetie.

I woke in a funk of some sort today, did not know why, still am unsure though when I wrote the date, realized that if it is Sherry's sad day, I am one month away. I had bad dreams but don't know what about, and I just cannot lift myself out of this odd-place. I hope that I will be an effective tutor later today, probably that will help me get outside of myself a bit. Anyhow, sometimes we cannot fight as the dates weigh down on us like so much heartache, but the dates come and the lead-up is usually more difficult than the actual. I wish you all some sort of light today.

[Brendan's Daddy]

Hi everybody. I know I have not posted much lately, but I have been reading every day and thinking about all of you. Just don't have the strength to post. I am doing ok, just trying to get by day by day, hour by hour.

Colleen I saw your post and just had to come on to say hi and tell you that I am thinking about you and praying for you. I am not sure how a 16 year old dies. I am not sure how any of our kids at any age can really be gone. I miss my 7 year old every single day. This week I am running a girls basketball camp and the afternoons are full of 6 and 7 year olds. I hold it together through camp, but when it is all over I just break down. It is so hard to wonder what might have been or what should be.

I wish I could come through the screen and give you that hug. Please know that you are in my thoughts. Thank you so much for being there for you. Be strong and know that you have helped so many others.

Wishing you strength today and every day.

Brendan's daddy - Tony

[nicksdad]

[nicksdad]

[aim630]

Happy heavenly birthday,Rich! Hugs to you Betsy, as you remember your sweet boy.

Sherry, thinking of you today on Davey's angel day...

Amy/Ashley's mom

[aim630]

I have been reading, just not posting...Had a dream the other day that Ashley was alive and I told her I thought she had died, and how glad I was that it wasn't true. Then I wake up, and of course it is true. Then a local 23 yr old girl got killed in an accident near us. Some kid ran a red light and hit her. My daughter drives on that road all the time, it could have been her. She is going with friends to Lake Michigan, about 5 hrs away. It makes me nervous them driving so far.

Thinking of Betsy, Sherry, Lorri and Colleen as we pass all these dates in June that bring back memories and tears. My dad died 5 years ago last Sunday. Little did I know that not even 4 yrs later Ashley would be joining him.

Love and hugs to all

Amy/Ashley's mom

[lolynbo]

colleen, AS I SAID ON FB HUGGS TO YOU AND YOUR SWEET FAMILY TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE DAY AND DAYS TO COME....

HAPPY HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY DAVEY...PRAYERS FOR YOUR FAMILY TODAY...HARD HARD TIMES...

BRIAN BRIAN BRIAN BRIAN................DAVEY DAVEY DAVEY DAVEY.....................

GOT THE BILL BOARD DISIGNED AND PAID FOR THIS IS HOW IT WILL LOOK EEXCEPT, THE PIC WILL BE CROPPED ALIL MORE

[mysonrich]

Thank you all for Happy Birthday wishes for my sweet boy. Dan, beautiful ! Thank you.

Today I ordered out from 5 brothers because I think Rich may have liked to. I sent off 2 balloons and ate my burger at the river front where I have so many happy memories.

Colleen, Indigo's, My brother sent me this years ago or what feels like years and years ago. It always makes me smile. I hope it does for you too.

Rhonda, there must be plenty of pecan pie out there for Westley. I could not find any here so I settled on a pecan topped sticky bun. Its nice to know that about your handsome son.

Diane, what a very pleasant surprise to see your handsome son today. Did he ever play football?

Dee, thanks for the music. I haven't heard that in a long time.

Cheryl, Toby's Celebration of Life sounds like a loving,well thought out and excellent idea.

Sherry, hope you are OK as evening approaches.

Betty, thank you for the “card”. On a side note, The bosses saxophonist, Clarence Clemons, had a stroke. I hope the big man recovers. Knowing that Stephen was a huge fan and probably ,like myself, felt like we knew Bruce and the band forever, I guess we can pray for Clarence too.

Amy, so good to see Ashley's beautiful smile. So sorry that you have the sadness of your fathers death at this time.

Quellsmom, I am so sorry.((((hugs)))))

A friend sent this poem to me about 1 year ago. I have always cherished it and have waited , holding the words close to my heart, before I shared. I was waiting for the day I suppose, the day that felt right to share my love, from another s pen that deeply moved me. ( this poem was written 5 years to the day before my son died)

I love you Rich.Like a shadow in the moonlight

Like the whisper of the seas

Like the echoes of a melody

Just beyond our reach

In the shadow of our sorrow

Past the whisper of goodbye

Love shines through eternity

A heartbeat from our eye

By : Catherine Turner posted : 2004-01-18 17:33:26

Dante's Prayer

[lolynbo]

RICH RICH RICH RICH...HUGGS TO YOU ALL TODAY ....LOVE THE SMILE...THE "IM A MAN LOOK"..BUT ALWAYS A MOMMAS BOY...

[mikesmomrs]

DAVEY...DAVEY...DAVEY....Surround your mom and dad today with your sweet spirit, bring memories to their heart to warm them, and please know that you are always, always, remembered!

Thinking of you, Sherry, and hubby, this evening when the shadows fall, and praying you will find comfort in the many memories you have of your sweet Davey.

[Guest msnher]

Lori - thinking of you, too!

[ericasmom]

Betsy, loved both the poem, so beautiful, really gorgeous poem, and the video. I hadn't seen that before, it was very refreshing, very sweet. Thanks. Glad you had a burger near the river, glad that you did some things that made the day Rich's special day.

Lorri, the sign looks fabulous, it will shine like the star your Girl is.