Members ericasmom Posted February 25, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Good morning Everyone,the sky right now is a beautiful mix of lavendars adn blues, with that late winter sunrise shining through rather weekly, but beautifully. It is in this kind of wonder,that I am made to believe in the heavens above.Peace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shorty16 Posted February 25, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 IndigosI too have been crafty. I made 4 cards (just because - the best kind). One card has a basket embroidered into the paper with buttons as the flowers - too cute. The post office loves these, because I write HAND SORT on the envelope so this card does not go through their machines.The other 3 cards have pressed Queen-Annes Lace over smaller yellow and white, 5-petal flowers. SOO Pretty. I have not decided who I am going to send these 4 cards to yet.Reading the posts lately breaks my heart. So many new ones to this journey where the physical pain had me begging God to take my life. But I knew what that would do to my already crushed family. Yes, the physical pain is terrible - beyond anything we have ever known, but it will subside. There is life after our childs death.Sending my love to allColleen, Brian's Mother Forever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nicksdad Posted February 25, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Karen...The video is great...It's amazing just how beautiful all our children are together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members kmb22 Posted February 25, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Thanks Dan...I thought the same thing...all so beautiful, so handsome, and so incredibly missed. Colleen - The cards sounds beautiful. I've never been artistic in that way though I have learned origami and how to make some pretty cool things out of pipe cleaners (they're surprisingly cathartic)...anything to keep my mind from obsessing over all the thoughts spinning. I used to write, a lot...poems and music but the words just don't flow right anymore. Maybe one day the music will return. Dee - I'm glad the sun is shining through in your part of the world today. We're getting snow here in the NE again...just when I hoped it was over. I think I mentioned before the winter typically brings the deer out of the woods into my yard at night. This year the heavy snow has kept them away, until last night. I counted 10 walking around the back yard, feeding on the patches of grass and the willow tree. I stood on the back deck and was amazed that though they seemed aware I was there...they continued grazing allowing me to enjoy the awe of their beauty. I tried to get pictures so I could share the beauty with all of you but it was too dark. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Crystal16 Posted February 25, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Karen- The video is absolutely beautiful. You have an amazing spirit! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hotrod Posted February 25, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Hi IndigosMy internet connection is cutting in and out so I must be quickKaren I was just able to view the VIDEO that you created How very wonderful, and special The music and the pictures said it all The Indigo angels are certainly a handsome and beautiful group . Thank you so very muchTwo incidents this week without a telephone and without internet Off to buy a cell phoneHave a blessed dayWhat a very special club we all belong too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted February 25, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Karen, the clouds are back taking the weak sunshine and hiding her out. But nevertheless, we are at the end of February adn that is the good news. Betty, I hope that you have a good day and that the internet treats you well, we need you here.Col, those cards sound lovely, maybe you could scan one and show us.Love to everyone,deePS Carrie, are you out there? Are you okay? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Crystal16 Posted February 25, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Lately, I’ve come just to read everyone’s posts. I feel numb emotionally from the raging war I suppress ongoing inside. It’s a spiritual fight angry at God knowing from what I have been taught Ashlee is in a better place however WHY (we all ask this question) so early received in Heaven they had so much to give this world. Our hearts are blackened, emptied with remorse how can we carry on without our babies. I know for some, if not all we have other children that need us and it’s hard for them to see us grieve this way. Our earthly children still breathe and need our undivided attention too. Always in my thoughts, everyone's Angels I pray you have a blessed day my BI family! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hoosiermom Posted February 25, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Karen, I loved the video. As I watched I just kept thinking, all these beautiful faces, how is it possible that they're no longer with us when they all look so young and vibrant and alive. It has been an honor and a privelege to know these amazing children through all of you. God bless the Indigos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest msnher Posted February 25, 2011 Guests Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 I just got off the phone with a different counselor. I've gone to him before, but went to a different counselor when Steph died. His daughter died 7yrs ago this weekend at the age of 14 in a sledding accident. I started crying as soon as I heard his voice. I told him I want to make an appointment but have a hard time leaving my house. We made the appointment and he said if I can't leave the house it's okay, we'll just keep rescheduling until I can. I've known him and his wife for years. I told him it's been 18 months and I feel like I've gone right back to where I was the day Steph died. I said his wife was able to go to college and get a degree after their daughter died and I can't even get out of bed. He told me it was after five years that his wife went back to college and that she didn't get dressed or leave the house for two years. Somehow that makes me feel better. He said I'm just grieving and this is what grieving is when your child dies. I don't feel so discouraged about how bad I feel now. He said 18 months is nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest msnher Posted February 25, 2011 Guests Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Kathy - Your post helped me, too. I did that stuff. Redecorated and painted every room in the house (except the bathrooms) and when that didn't make me feel better I cut all my hair off and when that didn't make me feel better I bought a huge, expensive entertainment center and when that didn't make me feel better I just went to bed.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members kmb22 Posted February 25, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Edit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Crystal16 Posted February 25, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Sus- Be kind to yourself we are still very early on this journey. I am so glad you found a councelor that can relate to your grief. Karen- I believe God gives only those he knows that can handle the pain. For some reason, HE knows what we could handle and weather in our lives, one being the loss of our child. I know for a fact, if any of my sisters had to bear this burden they would stop living. I ask myself, are we a living testimony to our faith in HIM during the STORMS??? I don't pretend to know why he chose our children but one thing I know HE also loss and sacrificed his own son for us. I hope I did not offend anyone on here.. Hugs to all as we do life together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shorty16 Posted February 25, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Sus - you made me laugh. Thanks.Colleen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members kmb22 Posted February 25, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Edit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shorty16 Posted February 25, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 KarenLoved the video. Your son is so handsome. He does the "Hair thing" also.Thank you for sharing this beautiful spirit with us.Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members kmb22 Posted February 25, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Edit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted February 25, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Karen----Thank you so much for the lovely video. It's amazing to think that all our beautiful children......withtheir bright winning smiles are together, and smiling down on us. Peace to you. Dee---LOADS of birds coming to the feeders, now that the snow is covering everything.Sus---Glad that you connected again with the counselor that you know so well. Yes,....I agree.....18 mo. is nothingon this lousy road we're on.SNOWED IN AGAIN...... Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members crystalann Posted February 25, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 I try so hard not to break down in front of my younger two! Was doing good this morning untill a Bobb Marley song popped in my head Everything little thing is gonna be alright. He had just been singing the 3 little birds verse to me lately. Made me break down.After loseing my mom I started going and singing kareoke kids under age could go till ten. We took Tyler and his girlfriend a few times. I would always ask him to sing or rap for me he always said no and I never made him feel bad not doing it for me.His girlfriend just told me he was gonna get up and sing for me when he turned 21 . Makes me so sad even though I here him singing in my head! Another one of his friends stopped by this morning so many of them didnt make it to the service. So I keep the book out still for them to sign Almost 8 weeks and they are still comeing! I just wish the next one to come to the door was Tyler!!!! Me and my oldest daughter went to sing saturday was so hard so we did songs Tyler never heard us do before When we were done first song on next was that bob marley song. I just broke down and left in tears. This is so hard I want him back!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest msnher Posted February 25, 2011 Guests Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Well, my lovely Indigo's, I just threw a holy tantrum on facebook. I wanted vengence. LOL I can see my other friends - aside from all of you - staring at my posts and saying, "What the hell!?" They are probably wondering who said what to me to get my panties in such a wod. Well, about three months ago someone had the audacity to mention my grandchildren's perpetrator was doing well. I'm a little behind the 8 ball and it just hit me this very minute and I had a good yell about it. Almost like the fights I have with my husband (which are very rare) when all of a sudden I'm not speaking to him because of something he said 3 1/2 years ago and I just realized it was offensive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mikesmomrs Posted February 25, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Karen: thank you so much for the awesome video...it was truly a labor of love, and one that is so greatly appreciated by all of us...tears and more tears watching it, but the beauty of all of our angels is something to see, isn't it...seeing all of our angels like that, together, reminds me that they are indeed all together, free and happy....this thought can lead me to being happy, and sometimes it can lead me to being so sad that breathing is an effort...Mike will be gone five years this October, and I wonder sometimes how can so much time be gone since I've seen his eyes looking back at me, and yet I still breathe, my heart still beats, I am able to find joy in life, to give thankfulness for being. And then there are the days when the black hole looms and I find myself so close to the edge of falling in that I can't open my eyes for fear of being inside of it again. Being on this site has been a saving grace, a blessing,...I truly believe that all of us have been led here, together, to comfort, support and offer understanding to each other...through our angels. I, like many here, don't have any answers as to the "why?" I mostly have stopped asking...there is no answer, not now anyway. Perhaps never. I just have to believe that one day I will see Mike again, one day we will be together again, and the question won't even surface...the joy of that reunion will replace and wipe out any pain that I am going through now. I have to believe that...it is what gets me through the darkest hours, it is what carries me through and sends me sweet memories to bring the sun to my heart again. We do have many new parents here, and that is so very sad...I am so very, very sorry for the loss of your precious angels...the pain you all are feeling is piercing, breath-taking, suffocating...we have no answers as to how to alleviate it...we can only offer you the thought that it will truly soften over time....you will truly find how to smile again, how to allow those sweet memories of your precious angel to warm your heart again...your angel will make sure of this...your angel wants you to live, to have joy, "to stand where they cannot" as Dee has said. In the beginning our memories can have a double edge to them...one side brings us joy that we have them, the other side pierces our heart with the thought that we will never have any more. In the beginning, I remember it hurt so much to think of a memory, because it was instantly followed by the reminder that there would never be any more than what we already have. In the beginning, I wanted to stand on the rooftop and yell to the world "MY SON IS DEAD! How dare the sun come up, how dare life go on!" Now, I want to stand on the roof top and yell "MY SON LIVED! AND THIS IS HIS STORY!" Unfortunately, neither will being him back. But the latter will keep his memory alive, it will allow that, as Trudi has so lovingly said, his life meant so much more than that last day...it will allow his life to fill my heart instead of his death. This is a long, slow process, that happens over time, and no, it won't make his death go away, it won't bring him back. But it will breathe life into his memory....and it will keep those memories alive in the hearts of those who loved him, and sometimes even acquaint him with those who didn't even know him. And so I "stand on my roof top" whenever I can, whether that "rooftop" is here on BI, or in a conversation with someone, or in a letter, or sending of a card to someone (I have return labels that have "In Loving Memory of Mike" printed on them, under our address), or driving around with a memorial sticker on the back window of my van, or having a license plate frame that has his name and dates on it...his life is remembered every day, his name is spoken every day. Yes, the memory of his death brings pain every day, that will never end, but the memories of his life have to be bigger, because his life was bigger. I wish for all of you the grace of a peaceful memory to bless your heart today, even if it is only for a minute or two...and may the sweetness of it linger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest msnher Posted February 25, 2011 Guests Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Crystal - How in the world could you offend any of us? No worries, Dear lady! Well, after waking up with an excrutiating headache, but in a good mood and then having a sobbing episode with my counselor and then a wise, politcal moment on facebook and then a tantrum on facebook and then a laugh on facebook...I took a bath. I was going to go to a meeting but I've already exerted too much energy so I need a nap. I would lose my sanity if I weren't already so crazy. I can't imagine how people made it through before the internet. They just went silently crazy all alone. Hence the crazy cat lady who lives on the corner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hotrod Posted February 28, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 Hi IndigosWe are Back Oh how I missed you allI was so lonely for contact with my Indigos connection I even ventured to Facebook and connected Dee Missed you Found Sir Mutley and Betsy and beth and Karen and Lorri and Lynnn Glad to be back where I belong Facebook feels too publicKaren I so love the Video It is very special an Indigo treasureLorri I saw Kourtney's cake and celebrated her Birday on Facebook Now on BI I will say her nameOff to NJ today but have purchased a cell phone so that no more choas will occur if I am lateGlad to be back Happy Birthday Sweet Kourtney Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members kmb22 Posted February 28, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 Edit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members kmb22 Posted February 28, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 Edit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rlolheiser Posted February 28, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 Dee, thanks for the advice.. I think it was my sinus... I tried so hard to feel better but I think I jumped the gun on feeling good, my chest is back to hurtingand coughing, but the headaches less... guess I just can't be happy. I haven't been up to much lately, having my grandson makes it more hectic than I thought it would be. I do have him in school though, and he seems happy to be here. My son is hard to calm down now though, he is so excited with his big nephew being here.. it is hard to get them on a time schedule, Even JaBoa's sister is having a difficult time, but I contribute it to her mother and her obsession with her boyfriend. I really am having a hard time handling things. My daughter drives me nuts.. it is affecting my home life and causing arguments with my husband. She talks to him about things she wants and he feels he has to make her happy. Kind of funny, he isn't her blood father.. but he acts more like it everyday. I don't know maybe I have just been wrong.. she is talking about buying some land and a trailer and putting it out here. truth is I don't want the boyfriend to ever live here.. and everybody things I am wrong for feeling that way. I just find the threat from him killing me and my son disturbing.. my daughter said he would never do it... I am not sure.. and my son is more important to me than anything... I don't want that man here.. and I live in fear he will be out.. and be here... my mind just doesn't rest.Mom is still doing well... no coughing.. that is a miracle with how many of us have that cough... I enjoy my grandson here.. even with the added stress.. he remembers JaBoa.. they were close... it is good to talk with him.. we don't dwell on it.. but we enjoy our memories together.I guess... once again I finally get online and I gotta run... no rest for the wicked... that is what I hear but I can't remember what I did so wicked... :-)thinking of you all with gratitude and love.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dwsmithrn Posted February 28, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 karen....thank you for the video of our beautiful angels....oh, how my husband and i enjoyed watching it, so many times this weekend, over and over again....it is bitter sweet, seeing our babies' sweet faces and missing them, yet knowing they are still smiling those sweet smiles....thank you for that.crystal, i hope your w/e was not as bad as mine, but deep in my heart, i know it was as aching as mine...you were there with me.sus, i also, cannot leave the house, even though it has only been 5 1/2 weeks, i am unable to leave my house, hardly get out of bed, eat very little, sleep very little, wt loss is horrible, headache, body aches, so on and so on, i don't care, i just want my nathan back, and while i rationally know this is not happening, i still try to imagine he is just on some exotic extended trip and he will be calling or texting like he always did at a certain time of day. i missed you all this w/e and am so glad to be back with you....i am sad, lonely, broken and don't know what to do with my grief....i have some guilt i don't know what to do with, although i know nothing is my fault, there was nothing anyone could do yet, there is this nagging feeling in my gut and heart i cn't shake....i miss him and i know you all feel that loss just like i do....i look at his smiling face in all my pictures and wonder what, just whaat and why? why nathan, why? how could he have been so lonely and sad and hurt to leave without a warning? i have listened to the song "why" bu rascal flatts all w/e and it seems to say it all, if you get a chance, find it on youtube and listen to it....it somehow holds true for nathan....makes me scream and cry, but it says something to my heart....i am so glad i can say things to you all that i can't always say to anyone else.....thanks for listening.......diane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shorty16 Posted February 28, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 I can breath again!!!Thanks BI staff!!Colleen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Crystal16 Posted February 28, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 Woot, Woot your running again!!! Thank you.I so missed you all dearly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Crystal16 Posted February 28, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 Diane- My heart aches for you dear I am holding you close. We will never know the reason why until the day we see and hold our Angels again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dwsmithrn Posted February 28, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 crystal...thank you....right back at you...carol.....thanks for those words of encouragement....i will try to remember that when the sadness is just toatlly overwhelming, which is pretty much all the time for now....i want to remember every detail of nathan's life, and at age 32, there are so many wonderful things he has accomplished....amazing things he did for his community, his patients, his family....just too much heartache over shadows my every thought this soon, but i will remember what you have said....thank you....this is why i keep coming back to this site, i have found life-long friends here i can trust....thank you all....diane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members crystalann Posted February 28, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 It has been 8 weeks today. I just want to talk to him and hug him.Tell him that im sorry i couldnt help him we tryed so hard! His dog had puppies last night He wanted a puppy out of the last litter for his girlfriend I told him to wait for the next one Im sorry Tylerif I had known I would have let you! I have been ctying for 3 hours maybe i should just go back to bed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members westleysmom Posted February 28, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 Happy heavenly birthday Kourtney! Lorri-I'm afraid this might be late, but don't do Facebook so this is my first chance. Missed you all this weekend, although didn't feel much like posting anyway. Westley's best friend just got engaged and I keep thinking, but who will be your best man? Then I start crying if I think about it too long. I saw my friend this weekend, we had a good visit mostly shopping, but we got a chance to sit outside and talk for a little while since our weather was good. We're having storms again now, I got soaked at the cemetery yesterday afternoon when I went to visit there. The skies opened up and the rain fell, and it felt like the heavens were crying with me, or maybe for me. My MIL told my husband that somebody she knew, a lady that had lost two sons had told her that Westley's funeral changed her life. That ever since she came to it, that she had been able to go back to work and start living again. I told him I was glad it helped somebody , more sarcastically than sincerely. I would have sent her money every week if she hadn't been able to work, just to not have needed to have a funeral for my only son. I am feeling bitter and angry these days, at God, at the fates, at the world. I don't want to become a bitter old woman, but sometimes that's what I feel like. I want my real life back, the one where I was effortlessly happy, not this one where I have to try to think of a reason to keep going, and sometimes can't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted February 28, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 HELLO FRIENDS! Man did I miss you guys. If this happens again, (by the way do we know what happened?) I may go nuts. I really felt silenced in so many ways, anxious too, worried for our Newest Members to have just gotten established with posting and to be without a place. Iknow hat most of you post on FB, i do not, never have and likely will not start now. I am grateful for this place to back up and running. HOly cow.Good to see you all here. I had a dream that was ultra-disturbing Saturday night, and told my husband that I felt so out of it fromt he dra,. I don't know if my sleep was disturbed too much or if it was the dream was so disturbing that I felt not rested at all.I felt further displaced by not being able to talk with you all here.I dreamed that in the way background, a faint voice told me that Eri didn't really die. I was in one moment thrilled that I had her back, and in the next half second terrified that I had lost 7.5 years of her life, and in the next second, shaken that someone kept her alive on machines even though she would hate taht and that we would go see her and have to mourn the death of her spirit...i don't know what else happened, only that I woke so disturbed and the whole day felt off, felt scary and out of step. I sure wished to talk with you all. Husband worried that I might be dependent on you all for what he thought he was able to do for me, and yes, he is someone I can tell everything to, but as I pointed out, he can't possibly know just how it feels to be in this group. SO he understood, which is good. I can say to you guys all sorts of things that I cannot say to others not in this world, it is just the way it is.Lor, did you have a birthday? Happy Birthday Dear. Hope to check in again later, thanks to those who fixed us up... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Crystal16 Posted February 28, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 Diane- I have a friend at church that has a book being published and should be out soon. Vicki's son also took his life, if your open to it I will not only get the book for you that might help with your healing I will also see if I can connect the two of you via email. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members crystalann Posted February 28, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 Does any one know where my album is. I made one in the gallery under Stuart Tyler Gardner Now its gone:'( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dwsmithrn Posted February 28, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 i am open to the book, crystal, i am searching for anything that can get me through this horrible, horrible ordeal....nothing seems to ease my mind or heal my heart at this lonely, lonely, heartbreaking time. but, i will try anything to try something to get through this what i have been told is a 'journey'. i don't see it as a 'journey', just a life of heart ache and pain.....thank you....tyler's mom, crystal, i am so with you on every level you are feeling, i wish we were in the same area, at least we could do this together....diane, nathan's mom, always and forever.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dwsmithrn Posted February 28, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 i'm sorry, i looked for your photos of tyler, and i don't see them anywhere...i looked several different places and i can't explain why they are not there....i am so sorry.....diane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest msnher Posted February 28, 2011 Guests Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 Tyler's mom, I looked and couldn't find them either. I'm sure something happened when the site was down. If you go to the main forums page you can send a note to the administrators about it. Eric is fantastic about helping us and/or finding lost pictures. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted February 28, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 Man........I'm so far behind......can't seem to get caught up. HAPPY HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY, SWEET KOURTNEY.Not much to say today, anyhow. Bad flooding in our area, due to heavy rain on top of piles & piles of heavy snow.I am so sorry to see all the new parents at this site, and for their pain and grief. THOUGHTS & PRAYERS FOR EVERYONE IN THE BI FAMILY. PEACE TO EACH AND EVERY ONE. Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lolynbo Posted February 28, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 NO IT WAS KOURTNEYS 25TH BIRTHDAY YEST....WE SURVIVED IT...EVERYONE LOVED THE BILL BOARD AND THEN YEST WE WENT TO EAT MEXICAN FOOD THEN TO CEMETERY WHERE I PLAYED SOME OF MY FAV SONGS FOR HER...BOUT IT....NOT VERY CELEBATORY BUT...BRENT TEXTED AND SAID "LOVE YAL"..MADE A WORLD OF DIFF HE CARES HE REMEMBERS...FIRST PIC IS HER CAKE FROM WM, THEN I THOUGHT MY CAMERA WAS OFF AND ACCIDENTLY TOOK THE 2ND PIC TURNED OUT NEAT, THEN THE FLOWERS I BOUGHT, AND THEN THE PPL THAT CAME.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest msnher Posted February 28, 2011 Guests Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 I was able to log on to BI while the site was apparently down. There was a post from Carrie and there was also a post from Lorri. All those posts seem to have disappeared into cyber space.I, too, was worried about all the new parents on this site while we were down. If that happens in the future please long onto facebook or create an account with facebook. You really do have more control over your status than you might think. And, you can always deactivate your account later. If you choose to do that (go to facebook) search for beyond indigo...several of us are "friends" there and you can click on our pictures and ask to be our friends. A request I have is if you ask to be my friend, please tell me you're from beyond indigo because my memory is so short I might not recognize your name in a different venue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members kmb22 Posted February 28, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 Edit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aim630 Posted February 28, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 Whew, I'm glad the site is finally back up!! I was worried about all the new people too. Karen-I also thought something was wrong with my computer last time we couldn't get on, so at least this time they had the message up. I got on Facebook, and did ask several of you to be my friends, and was worried you wouldn't know who I was. I do feel able to share a lot more here than I would on Facebook. We spent the day visiting Baldwin Wallace college with Katie which is my first choice for her, but her second choice. It is a very small school, some classes only have about 12 students, and the biggest classes are around 30. Her other choice is Ohio University, which is twice as far away from here, and is a much bigger school. The problem is BW doesn't offer a journalism degree, which is her first choice. She got accepted into the journalism school at OU which is pretty selective. At BW she would major in sports management, and they are near Cleveland so she could possibly intern at one of the major sports teams there. So it all comes down to what she wants to major in. She knows I really want her to stay closer to home, but I have to try to let her know she needs to make the decision herself.I wish I could start over, and pick something I liked to do, instead of payroll. I missed last Monday, plus today so I will never get caught up. I had another dream about Ashley. I felt like she was really there. She was talking to me, but not speaking out loud. She was using her hands to speak, and she told me "things don't matter, what really matters is the here and now & the people around us". Maybe it was just a dream because the last month of her life she was not able to speak due to the ventilator tube down her throat, and she had to mouth words, and use her hands. In my dream when I repeated what I thought she said, and she nodded. At the time it felt very real, but 3 days later, I think maybe it was just my subconscious. I don't know. Well, I'm glad we're all back here together. I kept checking all weekend but figured it would probably be Monday. Amy/Ashley's mom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members charsng1234 Posted February 28, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 I am happy this site is up again. I had such a bad day!!! Its been 6 weeks and I miss shane so much.. I just wanted to check in can't write to much.. Sharon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mysonrich Posted March 1, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 1, 2011 Kourtney, Happy, Happy Heavenly Birthday! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest msnher Posted March 1, 2011 Guests Report Share Posted March 1, 2011 You and me, both, Rhonds....the woman who enjoyed life effortlessly. I'm sorry the comments from your MIL's friend hit you the wrong way. It speaks volumes for Westleys services, however...which speaks volumes about you and the love that must have been portrayed at the event you would give everything away to never have had to have. We all would. That mother was not able to hear words of comfort and/or encouragment at her own children's funeral, but was able to hear something at Westley's that helped her rejoin the human race. Has it lasted, I wonder. Is she still connected? I'm still in bed with my laptop (Karen) . After my dream/heavenly visit, I thought I was through grieving and able to "move on". It lasted about three weeks. Then I felt worse than I did before. I visited with my new grief counselor today. I still feel good about it. I feel good about allowing myself to grieve...about going to bed. It's okay. The way we grieve...it's okay. He and his wife lost their 14 yr old daughter 7yrs ago to a sledding accident. She died on February 29, so I guess today would be the angelversary. He reminded me how we belong to a different reality now and I need to be more patient with my grief.Susannah/Stephanie's mom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members summergirl Posted March 1, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 1, 2011 So glad the site is back up and running but I will not be able to catch up....just so glad for the new ones here as I know how hard it is to go without the support and love here.....thinking of all of you...Today is 9 years since I lost my little brother Billy....called my mom and dad, it was so hard to hear the pain in their voices and I HATE it that we really do know how the other feels....Jessica on the 18th and Billy on the 28th....I HATE February... On the other hand sharing the loss of a child allows us to share as we do here. I remember when Billy passed and I told my mom I understood how she felt and she said "I don't think you do" - I really thought I felt her pain until I lost Jessica.....she called me that morning and I remember saying through my tears "mom, I thought I knew, I thought I knew". Barry and Tavian had a great day yesterday - they went to Game Stop and K-Mart and then home and then went to the skate park for 2 hours....it was so good for Tavian to spend the day with his pop-pop....he is already talking about next weekend.... Tavian had his first therapy session today with Rebecca....she said it went well but did not discuss any more and Tavian told me "it's private" lolJust wanted to say hello and send hugs to all.......Peace, strength and love, Kathy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lolynbo Posted March 1, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 1, 2011 THANK YOU BETSY, LISA AND RHONDA...FOR THE BIRTHDAY WISHES MENT TO ADD THAT EARLIER.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Crystal16 Posted March 1, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 1, 2011 Dee- So sorry hun we were not here to hold you tight! The dreams we have sometimes plays off of our emotions, I pray you sleep soundly tonight. Eri is all around you sending you peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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