Jump to content
Forum Conduct & Guidelines Document ×

Loss of an Adult Child


momofJustin

Recommended Posts

  • Members

post-271120-0-26382200-1297060328_thumb.

~ Bethany Bethany Bethany ~

A most precious gift arrived on this day and changed the world........

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 68.6k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • ericasmom

    9217

  • Mermaid Tears

    3803

  • daveydow1

    3002

  • shorty16

    2248

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Members

Took Em and Caleb home last night. There was extreme flooding in and around where we were and back in the hills. Melissa greeted me at the door wearing a T-Shirt with the following.

"Who I was is not Who I am"....profound.

So this morning, trying to remember what was on it, I searched the internet. This is what came up...

Nite all - Thanks Mike.....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Trudi: I love the song that Mike sent to you. Yes, that pain can truly be a bitter friend...always there, always biting, always reminding, yet also healing in some strange way. Thank you for sharing.

I shared my "heart" find with you all, in celebration of my birthday...I forgot to tell you what happened on Friday. We had gone out and when we got home, checked the mail. In it was a copy of the magazine in which I had a publication of my "faith" story of Mike's gift of the license plate that I got one night on the road, not long after Mike died. When I broke the seal on the magazine, it fell open in my hand instantly to the article and Mike's shining face smiling out at me. Happy birthday, mom.

post-269798-0-02408600-1297066000_thumb.

If you open the picture, it can actually be read, though it is not short. I was kind of surprised when I noted that they had not done much editing...Mitch Carmody had told me originally that they would likely edit it some, because of space constraints. I was glad to see that nothing was changed or left out.

I hope you all have a good day, today.

love and peace-filled moments, carol mikesmomrs

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Susannah & Carol-I also had tears in my eyes reading about Stephanie's & Mike's last days. When I feel sorry for myself remembering that last day in the hospital with Ashley, I realize that all of us here went through the horror in one way or another.

Carol-Happy Birthday!! I'm glad Mike is sending you signs (the hearts & the story in the magazine). I hope you have the best day possible & feel Mike's love all day. I'm also glad you got opening day tickets! I saw that you posted the picture with the story. When I finish this, I will try to expand the picture so I can read the story.

Colleen-Thanks for the concern about my job. My boss told me the other day she is thinking about pulling me off my payroll & making me a trainer & more of a supervisor. That would be great because then I wouldn't be so restricted on taking days off (every other week I run a payroll, so feel I can't take any days off during that week). I wish I could take this Weds off (2-9), but that is pretty much my busiest day with payroll, and I can't. Who knows if I'll actually get the chance, but now that she's brought it up, I'm not going to let the matter drop.

Alison-The stupid things people say amaze me, but I think in most cases they are trying to be helpful. Just saying, "I'm sorry, I'm thinking about you" is really the only thing they need to say. I spoke with a student advisor from one of the colleges Katie was accepted to (although she has no plan of going to that one). She asked how many brothers & sisters Katie had, and stupidly, I said 3 (my step-kids), I mean 4. Then I had to explain about Ashley. I think I made her cry. She just said she was sorry, and was amazed Katie was able to keep up her grades & stay 2nd in her class. Ashley also loved the Wizard of Oz. I am so sorry Amelia never got to move into her new place after you worked so hard to provide it for her.

Sharon-You are so new to this journey. I know it feels wrong to laugh, but Shane would want you to. Jeff is also Ashley's stepdad, although we started dating when she was 2 & were married right before she turned 4, so he's known her all pretty much all her life. Of course he is sad & heart-broken, but it's not the same as how I feel. He told me not along ago that I've changed recently. I said, "Ya think, I wonder why???". I'll never be the same person I was. I wish I could get that person back, but I'd have to have Ashley back for that to happen, and of course, it never will.

Happy Heavenly Birthday, Bethany! Please surround your mom & dad with your love & sweet spirit.

Goodnight All, some nights I wonder why I even bother going to bed.

Amy/Ashley's mom

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Carol-I love the story of Mike telling you to have "Faith". I'm glad you got to share your his sign with so many others, hopefully it will encourage them to have faith.

Hope you have a great day & hope you get some sleep, as I see you are awake also!

Amy/Ashley's mom

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Carol - Amazing. The fact that they did minimal of any editing shows the power of your story for those on this journey.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

CAROL, what a great BIRTHDAY GIFT, to be published telling the story of your heart and Mike's. Beautifully done my Sweet Friend. May hearts of all sorts continue to show themselves.

HAPPPPPPY BIRTHDAY CAROL.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

BETHANY, it is that great day that marks your coming.

Marcia and Larry, we know the bittersweet of this date. She will always be a blessing in your lives.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Happy Heavenly Birthday, Bethany

Thinking of you today, Marcia and Larry. May the sun shine on your face and may you know the many people that are thinking of you today - and always

Colleen

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAROL

HOW WONDERFUL TO HAVE THE TRIBUTE

THAT YOU HAVE WRITTEN PUBLISHED!!!!

YOUR WRITING DOES TOUCH THE HEART OF THE MATTER

HappyBday.bmp

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Indigos

I had a really great weekend and I have to tell you about it.

Saturday, night we went to a theatrical production of the musical "Wicked" It is a spin from the Wizard of OZ.

The entire family went (Brian was the angel on my shoulder). It was fantastic. If you ever get a chance to see it GO

And then, the Packers won the Superbowl - Go Pack

Colleen

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Guests

Happy Birthday, Carol! I pray you have a sweet day full of love and joy. I will read the article you wrote after I get the kids to school. I glanced over it just now. It seems familiar. You've shared that story here before, yes? I am anxious to read it. It truly is a story of faith. It's ironic that you were trying to make Mike's last days so comfortable and easy for him and all along he was doing his best to make his going as easy as possible for you and all that he loved. He continues to do so.

It is time for me to get the kids up and moving. I'll be back. My heart is heavy for missing my girl and oddly enough, my mother and sister. It's not odd that I miss my sister, it's odd that I miss my mother. But, I'm not in a dark place. I'm in a bittersweet place. I honestly feel so blessed to call all of you friends. I feel blessed to have been given the gift of experience in my life.

I babysit Little Curtis and Kaylee last night at their house ( so fun and a whole other story ). The kids were already asleep when I got home. I kissed Jonathon and he just rolled over with his blanket. I kissed Mariah, she turned her head towards me, "Grandma my tummy hurts." (too much junk food on game day) I kissed Jasmine, she looked up and asked for a drink of water. So different from when we got them almost two years ago (Feb 23) They were living a nightmare two years ago. When they came to live with us none of them slept through the night without waking up screaming. A slight touch and/or whisper, after they were asleep, would send them into fits of fear. We've come a long way.

Love to all, Susannah/Stephanie's mom

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Crystal

Your ex is wrong. You may not be speaking during this hearing, but you will be seen. To say you will have nothing to do or add is also wrong.

Make eye contact with the judge. Mouth "NO" or shake your head "NO" when the question is posed to the judge about extending bail.

Non-verbal communication is huge. Seeing the hurt and pain in the Parents eyes in non-verbal. We cryed at every hearing. So hard not too. Do not feel you have to be strong - You and your daughter are the victims here.

You are more powerful than you know.

Go girl - !!!

Colleen

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Colleen-I read Wicked when it came out and went to see it in Nashville when it was there. I thought it was really good too. I was pulling for the Pack, although my husband lost a dollar on the Steelers. He didn't really care much one way or the other, just thought the Steelers would win it. Really good game.

Happy Heavenly Birthday Bethany! Let your Mom and Dad feel peace on this day that you came into their lives and blessed them with your presence.

Carol-I'm not sure if today is your birthday or yesterday was, but Happy Birthday! I read your story, it was very inspiring.

Kathy-Loved the picture of your beautiful summergirl. She is still beautiful, they all are, forever young and beautiful and happy. I have to believe that when we see them again, it'll be like that country song about "Where've you been?" I know this 5 years is hanging heavy in your heart and I've been thinking of you this week.

Lorri-I'm glad you're back and hope to hear from you more often now that you got a new computer (I think that's right anyway)

Leah-Thinking of you and hoping that you haven't been on because very busy and not anything bad.

I still haven't any more details from my daughter's friend, whose 21 year old son died this weekend. He was away at school is all I know. His name is Josh, and his Mom's name is Tammy. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers. The funeral will be Wednesday. Our pastor preached yesterday on Blessed are those that mourn, but I didn't get to hear much of it as I had taken my granddaughter. At 2 1/2, when she gets bored with the sermon, she announces that she's ready to go, so I took her out to Children's church with the bigger kids. He was using the Kubler-Ross thing, about the stages of grief, we lost two members of our church in the last two weeks, both older people who had been sick. I have been very sad lately, I don't want to talk much. I went to the cemetery yesterday afternoon, it was almost warm, and stayed for a little while. Watched the game, and went to bed as soon as possible and slept as long as I could. Sometimes, you just have to let the sadness happen, stopping it is impossible. We are having a little bad weather today, hope it doesn't get too bad. Rambling now, so I should go. I hope you all are having as good a day as you can.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Bethany BETHANY BeThanY may you dance among the ANGELS today on your birthday xo

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Happiest of birthdays to you CAROL

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Happy Heavenly Birthday Bethany! ~~<@

Maria, My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family today. May the warmth of Bethany's love surround you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

HEY GUYS...MORE SNOW HEADING OUR WAY...KOURTNEYS KLOSET IS FLOODED...NO CLOTHES RUINED JUST WATER EVERY WHERE...SO WE WILL GO DOWN TONIGHT AND MOVE RACKS AND WAIT TIL ITS DONE MELTING THEN HAVE CARPETS SUCKED OUT AGAIN...BUT MORE SNOW COMING...

KOURTNEYS MONTH IS UPON ME AND IM FEELING THE CLOUD COMING....VALENTINES , HER WOULD HAVE BEEN 4TH ANNIVERSARY (SHE DIDNT EVEN MAKE IT TO HER FIRST, WELL THAT SHE KNEW OF)...AND HER 25TH BIRTHDAY....:( SO FRIKN SUCKS....

AND WE HAVE A SWEET BIRTHDAY GIRL BETHANY TODAY....MARCIA AND LARRY WE LOVE YAL..VERY MUCH WISH WE COULD ALL SPEND IT WITH YOU..AND OUR ANGELS...

KODYS EXCEITED NASCAR STARTS SOON, THEY HAVE BEEN WORKING ON HIS NEW RACE CAR..IT WILL BE WHITE THIS YEAR,,(WEIRD WEVE NEVER HAD A WHITE ONE)..I GUESS THAT WILL ALL START UP NEXT MONTH

MY SISTER SEEMS TO BE POSSIBLY GETTING DIVORCED SO SHE WILL MOVE IN WITH US I GUESS...WHICH IS FINE WITH ME...JUST HOPE SHE NOS I STILL NEED ME TIME..

HOPE ALL IS WELL WITH YAL....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

SHAWNS MOM KAREN THAT WAS MY OLDEST DAUGHTER KIMBERLY DOING THE PAINTING..LOL WISH I WAS THAT CUTE...THANK YOU THOUGH..

CAROL HAPPY BIRTHDAY HOPE ITS A GREAT ONE...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Happy Birthday, Bethany!

post-278995-0-19042500-1297117925_thumb.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Happy Birthday, Carol!

post-278995-0-13445400-1297118082_thumb.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I am so new to this were is the main post? Well I went to work today made it 6 hrs today. My boss said that was good. I heard some kids singing a song for my son I lost it. I feel so trapped in my own body. I am so mad at Shane today he left me here alone. I just feel so helpless so lost. I know others here know what I am talking about, whis I could crawl up in a ball and stay there forever.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Lorri-I loved the car Kimberly painted for Kourtney.I'm sorry February is such a sad month for you also. Valentine's will be the 1st anniversary of Ashley's funeral. We held it that day in the hopes some out of town relatives would be able to make it, but they were not able to travel due to a snowstorm.

Susannah-You do such a great job with the kids. I know it has to be very tiring & overwhelming some days, but you've made such a difference in their lives. They are lucky to have you.

Karen-Glad you finally got rid of the crazy roommate. I tend to trust people at their word too. It just shows you have a big heart to try to help those who sometimes don't want or can't help themselves. I'm so tired of the snow & winter. We don't have a lot of snow, but it seems to snow a little bit every day. Spring will be very welcome!

There is a guy at work who is pretty strange. He is about my age (early to mid 40's), but seems like he is much younger. I think he is slightly learning disabled. While filing papers, somehow he managed to shoot himself in the eye with a rubberband, and requested safety glasses (to file!). He has a big heart though, even though he is kind of weird. When Ashley was in the hospital, he kept asking to visit her, but since I hardly know him & she had never met him, I told him only family was allowed. Today he told me he would be thinking about me this week. I don't know whether to be touched that he remembered (as far as I know, no one else does), or creeped out because he does remember what week it is. Really, it did feel nice that someone remembered, even if it is someone I hardly know. Some of the people I know the best will probably not say anything, I'm not sure if they even remember what day it was.

Hope everyone is doing ok.

Amy/Ashley's mom

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Wayyyyy too much to catch up on............ i'm too far behind. :(

HAPPY HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY, SWEET ANGEL , BETHANY.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAROL !!! :D :D :lol::) :)

Can't write much tonight............more trouble with the sattelite.:angry:

Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Sharon------Oh, friend......hang on. I know the pain you are feeling right now....everyone here at BI understands

your sorrow. Be kind to yourself, and come back to BI. We're here for you. Peace & comfort.

Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Happy Birthday Carol.....

I loved your story of Faith, that's what I cling to is just that having FAITH! Believing in what you can't see...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

We posted at the same time Sus, just posted the link for Sharon. I really think you'll find it interesting if you haven't seen his work before.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

THANKS AMY/ASHLEYS MOMMY.....JUST WENT TO KOURTNEYS KLOSET ITS WORSE THEN I THOUGHT...EVEN THE CLOSETS ARE FLOODED...IM SO SAD CRIED ALL THE WAY HOME...WITH HER BDAY COMING AND THE 2ND ANNIVERSARY OF KOURTNEYS KLOSET IT JUST HIT AND GOT ME DOWN...:(...

post-275957-0-55010200-1297132799_thumb.

post-275957-0-90643600-1297133005_thumb.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Lor,

so sorry about the flooded Kourtney's Kloset. I do hope that there is help for you all tomorrow, and will the insurance pay for the clean up? I know that it may feel that things are coming apart when you are trying to hold yourself together, but take heart, look at all that you have done recently to help the KLOSET. Kourt knows the heart and hard work that has gone into this lovely well-spring of hope. Hang tight Lorri, things will come around.

Tell that little racer of yours that I am thinking of him.

Karen, I read Sherry's post and listened to the doctor. It is an interesting aspect of regression. I believe in all sorts of ideas, though know that not all of them are for me, I am glad when something works to assist folks find ways to live well. It sounds as though this therapy has helped Sherry adn many others to find the gold within their own story. How dear that is, a treasure.

I remember Sherry when you first came here, and the person I read today is far and away more peaceful. I am so happy for the road you have found that has brought you this calm in your heart.

Sharon, 6 hours at work is a big accomplishment. I am glad that you were able to do so much. I bet it was pretty hard but what many of us have found is that it was a way to put some order to our days.

Amy, it was nice that the young man remembered Ashley's dates, least wise I hope it was because he is sweet. He sounds like a person that may have some personality quirks or disorders but also may be quite efficient with numbers adn dates. I do think you were smart to tell him only family could visit Ashley, and that is what I mean, it is as though his capabilities do not involve the filters that others have.

I am super tired, need to sleep now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BETHANY........

MARCIA AND LARRY - 20 YEARS AGO TODAY YOU HELD THE MOST PRECIOUS THING IN THE WORLD......TODAY YOU HOLD HER CLOSE IN YOUR HEART AND I PRAY THAT ALL THE BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL, LOVING MEMORIES BRING YOU SOME BIT OF PEACE......HUGS

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Hope everyone is doing well tonight.. Just wanted to say thanks for all the love.. It really helps.. Night all.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Lorri - That's about what its like for many here. The affects of the floods stretching the length and breadth. Sorry about Kourtney's Kloset. Can only hope once your dry you are able to pick back up and continue the work in your girls name

Colleen - I saw Wicked when it came to Melbourne. LOVED IT. For a change the brunette wasn't the bad guy......Congrats on the super bowl.

Carol - For you.....

post-271120-0-09877500-1297155181_thumb.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Good Morning Indigos

Back to My sisters today Had a nice break at my own home for 5 days I will miss you all

Lorri I am so sorry about the flood I do hope it cleans up OK. I had a terrible flood in Stephen's house, after he passed. I turned it all over to a professional clean up crew, including pumping the water out . They carried out all the damaged stuff and power dried the floors and walls.. Home Owner insurance covered the entire cost . Good Luck .

Sharon I understand the "anger" and sadness. So glad that your boss is being gentle and understanding . You are right there really is so much love here that it can sustain us.

I think I have forgotten to mention how much I really like the new pictures of Shawn, Michael Shane, Mike, Stephanie and Davey Each one is so special They may have been changed for a while and I intended to mention them but have forgotten

Dee Crystal, Colleen, Rhonda, Leah, Sonya,Bonnie, Marcia and all Indigos in my thoughts each day

,

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Betty, good luck back at your Sister's home. I will miss you too, was excited to have you back for several days in a row. You are a good woman to help as you do.

Trudi, love the cake you attached for Carol's birthday. How sweet.

I am sitting in the sunshine through the windows here in my second floor classroom, so nice to have the sun, but it is darn cold out, a high of 10 dgrees today wiith windchill values below zero. I feel like I could curl up and go to sleep, though I slept from 9:15 until 6:00 today. I am in hibernating mode I think. A bear late to the log for the winter.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
coming apart when you are trying to hold yourself together, but take heart, look at all that you have done recently to help the KLOSET. Kourt knows the heart and hard work that has gone into this lovely well-spring of hope. Hang tight Lorri, things will come around.

Tell that little racer of yours that I am thinking of him

.

THANKS GALS..WE DONT HAVE INSURANCE...BUT IM GREAT FRIENDS WITH THE CARPET CLEANING GUY WHO DOESNT CHARGE US...BUT THIS TIME I INSIST ON PAYING....I THINK WERE GOING TO MOVE WHAT WE CAN OUT TONIGHT AND HAVE HIM SUCK UP THE WATER, THEN WAIT TIL IT DOES IT AGIAN, SUCK UP WATER ONCE MORE THEN POSSIBLY JUST TAKE UP THE CARPET AND HAVE THE CONCRETE FLOORS PAINTED...AND BE DONE WITH THE CARPET...WE ARE IN THE BASEMENT AND THATS WHY THERE ISNT BASEMENTS IN OKLAHOMA CUZ THEY DO LEAK...(WE HAVE CELLERS USUALLY NOT ATTACHED TOT HE HOUSE)...WE HAVE THE $$$ NOW TO DO THIS FLOOR WORK...THOUGH WE WOULD RATHER SPEND IT ON THE KIDS...BUT WE CANT KEEP CLEANING AND REPLACING CARPET EITHER....WHAT DO YAL THINK?

MY RACER IS SO READY TO RACE...IM TRUELY BLESSED TO HAVE HIM IN MY LIL OL LIFE...THIS IS HIM KEEPING HIMSELF SANE WHILL WE WERE SNOWED IN...RACING OF COURSE.

post-275957-0-10600600-1297187451_thumb.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Hello Indigos

Did anyone happen to watch or hear the Today show. A man was sentenced to 4 years for driving the car where his friend was car-surfing. Cameron was killed when he fell out of the shopping cart he was riding in and smashed his head on the pavement.

The parents of Cameron are divorcing.

The death happened in 2008 and the sentencing just took place.

My heart goes out to these parents.

Colleen

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Hello my Indigo family,

Colleen- It is a sad story ideed, like yours and Wendy's story so much unnecessary grief. Hold tight my friend. God has a purpose we just haven been given the answers yet.

Lorri- I would suggest painting the cement and have throw down rugs if you are trying to make it seem cozy. Good luck, I pray it is resolved ratherly quickly and business is back and running.

Betty, Betsy, Sharon, Dee , Rhonda, Leah, Sonya,Bonnie, Dan, Greg , Karen, Kathi, Trudi, Michelle, Susannah. I pray your day is blessed.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I’m so angry!!! We just found out from our DA that has been issued to release the 911 call to all the news station tomorrow afternoon for all to hear. I haven’t heard it yet, I was pregnant and the DA and my family did not want me to hear it in fear of me losing the baby (even thou I did.) The DA said I could go down town tomorrow morning before its made public to hear it before my daughter’s name and picture flashes on the 12 o’clock news. My heart hurts because our family’s tragedy is the afternoon news “ARE YOU KIDDING ME.” I want my baby back I hate that GOD allowed or let Dylan chose to pull the trigger…. I sit here crying knowing no matter what happens during this trial it will never bring her back.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I am so aorry to hear that the DA is doing that My name is sharon I just lost my son to.. He was in someones yard at ! am or so The man was in his house and shot my son in the head and killed him.. So I understand How much this hurts that your family can not hear the call first. My husband And I asked to here the 911 call and they told us we could not hear it either. We are still waiting on the police report. Its been almost a month and we still know nothing. My son's killer is still free. I will hold your family in my heart.. I am so sorry because I know the pain your feeling.. Sharon shanes mom..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Sharon,

Yes I've been paying special attention to your posts. We both are on this journey together of grieving that' so hard to wrap our head around why would someone shoot our baby!

My daughter Ashlee was shot in the head by her boyfriend. This is someone who she trusted with her life and lost it because she trusted him.

I too keep your family in prayer and I hope they find and arrest the person who shot your boy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.