Loss of an Adult Child

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[lolynbo]

ANOTHER LOCAL ANGEL FLIES HOME TOO SOON....A HOME MADE TRAIN MADE OUT OF BARRALS AND BEING PULLED BY A 4 WHEELER FOR A FESTIVAL KILLS AN 8 YR OLD GIRL....(THE 2ND CHILD FOR THIS FAMILY IN 5 YRS TO LOSE TO ACCIDENTENTS)...ALL I NO IS JUST THAT...THE TRAIN HAD SEATS AND WAS "HOMEMADE"...SEVERALKIDS GOT HURT AND WAS TAKEN TO HOSP....THE LIL GIRL DIED THAT DAY OR AT THE EVENT....SO SAD....

GOING TO CHURCH WITH MY BOYS HERE IN A BIT THEN GOING TO BUY SOME GROCERIES THEN WATCH THE NASCAR RACE....WOW BIG DAY IN STORE FOR ME...

[ericasmom]

Hi All,

we did have a nice Thanksgiving dinner last evening. Thanks Karen for your hopes for my Son, and to all that echoed that same hope. I am feeling my anxiety grow as I worry about my Boy, I know you all get that.

Leah, sorry that your Mom is dealing with this added medical issue. i am sorry that you are feeling ill and having to handle more than any one person should have to handle. Strength to y ou and for your Mom, of course you want what is going to be the least suffering for her. I will pray the same.

I have so many papers to grade today, did very little of that last week as my energy was going to other things. So while it is sunny and cold out, I will sit in with the football games and grade papers.

Lorri, so sad about the little Girl and that her family has had to deal with loss of a child alreadY? Terrible.

Kathy, glad you got out for a bit and kicked your heals up. Sorry that Tav was not feeling great.

I feel in a funk, sorry I have so little to say this week, just feeling kind of flat.

[nicksdad]

My grass is actaully looking better. Now to just leave it alone thru the winter months (just got to get rid of some straw pieces)

[mikesmum]

Dan - Wow what a great carpet of green. Might sound like an odd question, but do you get deep snow there? How does the grass fare?

Dee - Funk, funk funk. Those pot holes in the road that appear from nowhere without explanation. Sometimes it can be that along our journey without thinking we pick up a little of everyones story and take it on board. The weight not noticed till we hit the funk. I hope the dinner with family eased part of the funk. May there be some 'Dee Time' where you are able to just be for you, sun on your face, wind in your hair and a gentle hum of nothingness to let your mind rest. Love ya.

Kathy - Yep, blue jeans are my friend. I don't have the booty but heck they are so comfortable. Hope Tavian is doing better. I know its hard when you are called away, but I have to think how lucky he is that Mimi is there when the going gets tough.

Betty - One of the things I carry is a sketch of the bands Mike designed. He went to our local jeweller with his ideas. After he died 'Tim' gave me the hand drawn design. Its with me everywhere. Tim also made my engagement ring. A design Mal made using celtic knotwork to hold the stones.

Karen - Yep, its hard to venture out. These past 3 and more years I found my 'appointments' were my outings. A trip to the States was my big adventure. It was a safe trip, I was 'coming home' to friends.

The rain continues today. Summer took a u turn. Will be back at the beach tomorrow.

Take Care my BI family - Winter and the holidays have a way of taking our breath away........

[rlolheiser]

Thank you so much for your good wishes and prayers. Mom has improved some since yesterday, her kidney level started out at 14% and it is up to 20%. The nurse cautions that she is still not out of the woods, but I am hoping we get through the holidays.. or even longer if she can. I know things change rapidly and I am trying so hard to be strong. I do feel better myself, still wish I could clone me :-) being one person is getting hard some days.. but I guess I have to be thankful that I still have the hard days.. my work isn't done I guess... :-(.... just lots of mixed emotions..

Thank you again... I don't have a lot of time, I will try to post to you all later.. still gotta get things done here for everybody.. get supper on the table.. and get back to the hospital..

peace to you all

hugs

[westleysmom]

We are back from East TN. It was beautiful, although the leaves are almost all gone. I'll try to post a picture tomorrow I took on the way. My granddaughter had a grand time with Nana and Papa and Mama and Daddy all in one place. We stayed in a cabin. We took her to a petting zoo with exotic animals and she saw a porcupine and monkeys and a lemur. She talked about the lemur slapping Papa through the glass, but she called him something else. I can't remember how she said it, but I knew what she was talking about. The weather was nice, warm for this time of year. It rained a little on the way back, but other than that it was sunny and nice. I thought of you all while I was gone. I got out to the deck by myself a few times and whispered his name. I went to the cemetery a little bit today and told him about it.

Leah, Betty, everybody whose dealing with sick family, thinking of you all and hoping all get better soon. Kathy, hoping that Tavian is feeling better. Dee, I hope the funk leaves you soon. Lorri, so sorry about the little girl in your community. I haven't had much to say lately, but you all are in my thoughts daily. Take care all my friends,

[ericasmom]

Leah, good news indeed. Try to get some rest.

Rhonda, glad that you had a pretty trip, and that you are home now. I am glad that you whispered Westley's name into the day.

Love to All.

[nicksdad]

Dan - Wow what a great carpet of green. Might sound like an odd question, but do you get deep snow there? How does the grass fare?

Thks..Typically no we don't get alot of snow but least year we seemed to get a ton of snow. Had to shovel out many days.

[summergirl]

Dan - so beautiful....so sad......

Lorri - my prayers to the family of that poor little girl....2 children lost, how do they handle it ?? My nephew lost his best friend just 18 in a car accident and one year later his friend's sister passed after having gastric bypass done, just 16 years old...I often think about that mom and dad losing 2 children just a year apart...

Thanks everyone - yes I am definitely a jeans girl and I love my cowboy boots....always make me feel like I can kick a little butt !! Yes, I was upset at first for having to leave as I was having a wonderful time and it has been a very long time since I actually had "fun" but when I saw Tavian and the smile on his face the fun I was having was forgotten---we came home and each had a piece of chocolate cake and snuggled for a bit and then he was sleeping - he slept until 9 this morning... Today he went back to his friends house and played all day, bike riding and fun.....so I got alot done at the house....Barry's office complete and hallway At times I feel as though I have not accomplished as much as I think and then I look around and think wow, you have painted alot girl... Barry spent yesterday and today moving all of the outside stuff....patio completely gone, fish have a new home and the pond empty and moved, most of the fence out and moved....he is a hurt up man tonight but I reminded him of how he would feel if he had not lost the 106 pounds....he laughed and said he would have had to hire someone to do it.....

Dee - I understand the being in a funk....hopefully you are back with us and feeling yourself soon. Hope you can get one of your good walks in..

To all Indigo's - I can never seem to answer everyone that posts like some of you here do and I am sorry....I do read all posts and am always thinking of all of you...always in my prayers. Have a blessed night.....Kathy

[lolynbo]

HAVING A RUFF DAY AGAIN...TOM 15TH WILL BE 3 YRS SINCE KOURTNEYS TUMOR BURST AND SHE LAST SPOKE....IM STILL JUST STUCK THERE...WHAT WAS THE LAST THING WE SAID? SHE SAID?...I JUST DONT REMEMBER.....

NICKS DADDY LOOKS VERY NICE...AS ALWAYS...

IM A JEANS AND BOOTS GIRL TOO....MY BOOTS...KINDA GOT OUTTA HAND...WISH I HAD AN ORANGE PAIR KOURTNEYS FAV COLOR.I THINK THERE IS 14 PAIRS IDK.....

[ericasmom]

Okay Lor,

either the photos are gigantic that we post or tiny. I want to see your boots up close, looks like a fun closet. I am a jeans girl too, though I do love dresses that are comfy adn leggins with a long long top and boots. My boots however are not cowgirl boots, I have a wide foot,no pointed toes for me.

I know that tomorrow means a million things to you, but not remembering the last words spoken between you is okay Lorri, she heard all you said adn say, she knows of no greater Mom or no greater love. She knows all the most important words between you and she-it is forever the connection that binds you.

Kathy, I am so sad for your Nephew's friends family. Two kids lost in one family is ridiculous. Our Sweet Sherry knows the ache of two losses.

Trudi, are you back near the water again? I know that you are at home there where the salt spray mingles with rock. Where the sky and sea meet each other, where land and sea mingle.

Yep the funk had me in its grips today, I did take a walk after a while of spinning my wheels, and I just stayed to myself and graded kids work. I roasted brussel sprouts that were sprinkled with olive oil and sea salt adn pepper. They were delicious, that coming from a woman that hated brussel sprouts. Is it brussel or brussle sprouts, or neither? Anyhow, I am feeling somewhat better, just anxious inside. Probably being with the students I will find my center again. Love to you,

Dan, the spot where you put so much of your love and energy looks great. Green and lush.

[mysonrich]

good morning everyone, last week was very busy. I was attempting and did finally get a physical. One cold,rainy blustery day I arrived at the Dr and was told I was at the wrong office. ggrrr. no time to get to the other. so, I'm taking a walk while po'ed at the world, stomping through the small woods near-by and the next thing I know, gravity worked! I tripped on something and found myself looking at the ground. close-up. nothing broke but still achy a week later. The good of this, I missed a protruding tree root which I found grazing my kneecap.

Thanksgiving. lots of work. My Aunt is having dinne here, partly catered. She has a large immediate family and from times past, I just couldn't figure out how to get everything done. anyway, so far I will stay a day,probably wash dishes the next and depending on the weather,take a ride to the shore.My decision is in part due to the fact that this week I feel tired.

What I find here,after my uncles death followed by my Mom's 5 days later.My Rich. I suppose it is to be expected but I want to yell that I am hurting too. I have no strength to support others in their grief right now. I find myself very weary this year, more tearful unable to offer much in condolences. I think if my mothers name was mentioned, if someone said Rich's name...maybe I could offer more but this family is mourning their father,husband and i just walk away. I can't hold others up. One cousin in=law asked, 'what did he die from anyway?" You mean Rich? not "he". Richard! Its different here. My Rich is acknowledged.

ok, done with the rant

Lorri, I hear you. I realize how hard these days are. may you find some peace

in your sorrow.

Rhonda, the cabin and surrounds sounds peaceful. Is that Gaitlenburg(sp). Sometimes,most times, I miss Rich more when I am away.

Dee, how are you today? dreams do pester at times. My dream catcher is tattered. Hard to find a balance the next day. Hope the funk doesn't linger long.

Betty, take care of yourself while caring for your sister. breakfast at a local diner is a goood start.

Leah,always the caretaker, be gentle on yourself.

Susannah,Dan,Karen,Sherry,Surfer girl Trudi,Carol,Crystal..Indigos...I'll see you later.

[rlolheiser]

goodmorning all, I am getting ready to go to the hospital, it is a long day. I have to take my grandson to the nearby town to get him looked at by a specialist. I forgot about it, he has psoriosis extremely bad and has been in a breakout nothing is helping the poor little guy, he is red from head to toe. I will pop in to see mom, head out and be back in the afternoon to see her again. I tell ya.. no rest for the wicked. but sure wish I could remember what I did so wicked :-)

Betsy, I am glad the fall didn't do much damage. Those falls that you think did nothing though can hurt a lot. Like a whiplash.. be careful with you.. we worry about you :-)

Lorri, my heart is with you today as everyday but I hope you find your strength to get through this time.

Rhonda, so glad to hear that you all had a nice time. It was good to hear you had some time to spend with your boy I know he was listening and happy,

Dee, it was nice to hear that your Thanksgiving was pleasant. Boy.. do I ever understand those funks from out of nowhere, I pray you get through these times swiftly and may your son find strength to get through all of his frustrations. Your all on my mind a lot.

Bonnie, Carol, Betty, Kathy, Karen, Crystal, Sherry, Trudi, Dan, Susannah and all that I missed.. I wish you well, may you find your strength as you walk through the day.

[krichie]

I just wanted to stop by and let you know you are all still in my thaughts and prayers. I have been trying to stay busy and trying to not feel so much like a robot, but the more I try the nmore I am just a robot carrying out the functions with so few emotions. The only time I fell human is when my little grand daughter comes on the weekends. SHe is the only thing that seems to make us smile but then cry at the same time when we realize Richie is not here to see and hear her.

I can not say things are getting better but I think on most days I find myself on even ground.

The holidays are coming up and sounds like some have already celebrated Thanksgiving. I know this is a rought time for all of us here as we celebrate with family and friends and our angels are not physically here with us, and I want to send you all extra hugs and prayers that you make it thru these days and find more moments of peace then you think possible.

God bless you all- You have helped me in more ways then I thaught possible and I still try to get on and catch up even tho I do not post.

[ericasmom]

Good luck today Leah, hard for you to go back and forth so many times all for medical things, but you will get through this. Poor little one all red from skin stuff, ERi had exema sometimes worse than others. Many kids in my class/ school have had outbreaks of exema lately too. Weather changes can do it for some.

Betsy, I sure hope that you are okay. I know how falls can hurt, I have been falling all of my life. I am a klutz. Did you reschedule your appt. with the doctor for your check up?

There is no reason in the world that you should be able to hold others up through their grief Betsy. Perhaps it is your presence that is the support others depend upon, rather than trying to lift them from the sadness. After all, we know that we must sit with our sadness at times, that we will find ways to stroll again in the sun but that there will be times that we must sit with it, in it. It is part of what we have left.

Blue jays squawking, sun on th erise, I have not showered yet for school, needed a good walk first, going now though.

Peace in this day.

dee

[hotrod]

Good Morning Indigos

Dear Betsy I am so sorry that you hurt yourself in that fall and that there was confusion with the doctor's appointment I know how hard it is to be around people who do not understand the pain of losing a child

I know you always keep Rich in the forefront of your mind. When I feel alone at the family gatherings I go to my quiet place and visit with Stephen. Remember that Richard is a wonderful son, who loved life, music, nature and MOM. He loved you and know how much you loved him. I am another that could not do a big Holiday dinner ever ,. My best Holiday re memories are when I did the Holidays with just the 3 of us Those were the days!!! Please be gentle with yourself. Come here to us Indigos and we will say his name:

Rich. Rich Rich

Dan the Grass is beautiful Your hard work certainly paid off

Leah Prayers for you and that your maintain your strength Please try to take care of you.

Susannah Where are you!!!

Dee it sounds as if you are feeling a bit better I understand that low general anxiety that targets everything and has a constantly moving target. Your little charges will engage your beautiful spirit and you will again be soaring

Trudi I love that you carry Michael's Celtic designs around close to your heart and that Mal designed your engagement ring with he Celtic motif. My family is from Ireland some are still there , some immigrated to America and the rest are happily living in Sydney I have met them a few times and they are charming and wonderful people. Just like you I do hope MD is holding his own and enjoying his walks

Karen I understand that feeling and am happy your grandchild lifts your spirits I am glad that you found a Spiritual place where you can visit and feel safe I find that he quiet and warmth that I encounter there provides much solace.

Rhonda I am glad that you had time to reconnect with Westley Even if it is hard to visit his resting place I know how important it is.

Sherry While visiting my sister who lives one block from the NJ shore we spend time just walking the beach and I listening to the various birds about She is birder and carries her Audubon book where ever she goes we had fun and I thought of you and your lovely new home and the wonderful wild life you see each day. She has several feeders in her back yard and I saw some beautiful Cardinals,, Blue Jays and others that I can no remember the names. Hope your deer are safe!!

Yesterday football was a bummer Giants game was hard to endure

Lorrie Kathy Crystal, Carol and all Indigos thinking of you with many warm thoughts

[ericasmom]

Thanks Betty, yes I do feel better today. I think that sometimes I am unsure of myself to the point that i need my job to help define me, to keep those anxious rambling worries in check. Today, we will dissect owl pellets. We will see what it was that the owl ate 18 hours before spitting up its pellet, (the parts that they cannot digest, fur, bones...). It is a great experience, especially since we finished reading a novel called POPPY, where an owl ate Poppy's boyfriend, Ragweed and she found the pellet with his earing still inside. Poppy and Ragweed are mice.

Anyhow, with my worries so prevalent when I am at home, it feels good t obe occupied. I am not always this way at home, just right now.

Love to you all,

dee

[shorty16]

Indigos

I am back from the sunny skies of Florida and the company of my very good friend, Marcia.

First - Trudi, we tried to call Australia several times and I got the same message each time when we dialed your cell "Your call cannot be completed as dialed." We also tried the home number and did get someone, but they did not know who you were. I am soooo sorry.

Marcia and I had a great time, very relaxing. I walked the beach each morning (except for the last, when I slept int). I added 7 birds to my life list. A life list is a list of all the birds I have ever seen, where and when I saw them. COOL

The airline flights were uneventfull - on time with little turbulance.

I have alot of catching up to do with the posts here. Just wanted all of you to know that I said the names of your angels when I was alone on the beach. Really a powerful experience.

Colleen

[lolynbo]

THANKS GALS...TODAY IS SO RUFF BUT IM TRYING TO KEEP BIZZY....

I HAD ANOTHER CHRISTMAS IDEA....I TEXTD THE KIDS AND TOLD THEM CHRISTMAS EVE WE WILL ALL WEAR PJS, PLAY GAMES AND EAT FINGER FOOD. AND OPEN OUR STOCKINGS....THAT WAY CHRISTMAS MORN ALLLLLLL THE STOCKINGS WILL BE ON THE FIREPLACE AND ALLLLLLL OF THEM WILL BE EMPTY..MAYBE THAT WONT HURT SO BAD.....AND ON CHRISTMAS EVE NIGHT WE CAN CRY AND TALK ABOUT KOURTNEY ... IDK I THINK IT MAY HELP ME...MAYBE THIS IS HOW WE WILL DO IT FROM NOW ON...

DEE IDK HOW TO SEND THE PIC TO JUST YOU SO IT WLD BE BIGGER...WHAT IS UR EMAIL ADDY?

[Crystal16]

I haven't posted in a few days I have been busy packing and wondering what "CAN I DO" that Ashlee's death does not go unnoticed. Below is the email I sent to Florida's congressman.

Congressman Connie Mack

Please accept this email as a formal correspondence, requesting permission to speak to you on the subject of how an individual voice would be heard about the current state firearms gun control laws. The Florida state statutes and regulations law is written now that individuals have permission to bear arms without proper safety training, or weapons permit (rifle, shot gun or any type of handgun). I’m extremely disappointed, along with other grieving parents, on how easy we allow individuals to purchase and possess firearms without educating or proper safety awareness.

My daughter, Ashlee Swazey http://www.mydeathsp...y_her_boyfriend was a victim of this lenient law that allows individuals the right to bear arms lawfully without requesting a state permit to purchase rifles, shotguns or handguns, especially, possession of handguns by persons who are under 21 years of age. Ashlee’s story is one of many travesties and a negligent act that have happened in the state of Florida. How many incidents will it take to get our lawmakers to change the gun safety law!

I can be contacted at (239) 935-9471…please be aware that I will shed light on this subject to the media on December 8^th , when Dylan’s court trial begins.

My birthday is tomorrow and I just can't stand having one without Ashlee....

[Guest msnher]

Rambling....

“A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle, promoted and praised by Oprah to the point she was offering a free website class/discussion with Eckhart, himself.

Oprah’s website would be my first introduction to cyber friends through her message boards. I was naively surprised at all the fear generated in the Christian world by the book’s teachings, Eckhart and Oprah. So much fear, in fact, Oprah would be called the “Anti-Christ”.

I had always considered myself Christian, but observing the Christian world’s reaction to this book, its author and Oprah angered me; even embarrassed me. I saw the unhealthy dysfunction fear and lack of tolerance could cause.

Still claiming my love for Jesus Christ I made the conscious decision to separate myself from the label “Christian”.

Ahhhhh……but, that’s not why I’m writing this little memoir.

I’m not sure I learned or even bought into everything Eckhart taught in the book, “A New Earth”. I didn’t think there was any earth shattering news that hadn’t been taught before. I DID learn a few helpful tools, however, that proved helpful in getting me through some certain rough spots. Those tools had been taught by others, as well, but for some reason I was able to learn it through Oprah’s classes with Eckhart.

I would learn to recognize the power of pausing before I reacted. I learned how to focus on breathing….feeling the power of oxygen flowing through my body as I honored the One who gave me each breath. I learned how to turn the focus of a negative thought to a positive thought. I am still extremely undisciplined, but occasionally I am successful in changing the direction of my attitude.

For me, the turning of my thoughts usually begins with one of my favorite scriptures, “God has not give me a spirit of fear; but of power and of love and a SOUND mind.” Oh ya. God intends for me to be sane. Being present where I am. Staying in the moment. The power of NOW would soon help me through the horrific pain of my daughter’s death.

Ahhhhhh……but, that’s not why I’m writing this either………

I’m writing this to tell you about the dolphin.

Gary and I were having a wonderful time on our vacation in Orlando during the month of December, 2007. We were like children visiting all the theme parks. Sea World was my favorite. I was in awe as I reached down to actually pet a dolphin.

We weren’t at Sea World when I met the subject of my story, however. It was at one of the Disney parks, but I’m not sure which one. We walked into the huge aquarium/tunnel to witness the dolphin swim underneath the water. One dolphin. Alone in what looked like such a small space.

“It’s alone!” I said to Gary. “Dolphins aren’t supposed to be alone! They need other dolphins around them.” I was almost in a panic as I watched the dolphin swim to the top and then back again. Pure grace as it navigated through the small space that I saw as his or her prison. My heart ached for this magnificent creature.

Gary and I inched our way, through the crowd, to get right next to the glass. We were by the brick wall, which gave us a good view, but placed us at the corner of the aquarium. I dabbed at the moisture in my eyes.

Presence.

Be in the now.

We are all connected.

Breath.

As those thoughts entered into my consciousness without invitation, I directed my gaze to the magnificent creation swimming with such elegance in front of me. Forcing myself to block out the noise around me. My purpose? To connect….send love and energy and respect to an animal alone in a small space.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

I did not allow myself to be distracted by the crowd. I did not allow myself to be distracted by my shame of being human at that moment. I focused on the tools I had recently learned with pure intention.

Feel the life flow through my body.

Honor the one who gave that life.

I did not allow the gasps of the crowd to deter me when the dolphin slowly, gracefully, stopped at the corner of his prison. Suspended in time, in water, in knowing………the dolphin returned my gaze with fierce earnestness. “I’m so sorry!” My mind says to the dolphin. The dolphin’s stare was almost intimidating. I felt as if it could see into my very soul………..or, perhaps I was seeing into his. Wisdom that’s what his eyes said to mine.

I stood there, eye to eye with the dolphin, trying not to let the tears forming in my eyes spill over. “You’re smarter than we are.” I say in my thoughts.

Others are trying to get a closer look at this dolphin, suspended in water, looking so intently into my eyes. Gary nudges me and says “Come on, Honey, let’s make room for others to see.”

As if on cue, the dolphin seemingly nodded its head and gracefully floated away.

“Did you see the dolphin looking at me?” I hear a little girl ask her mommy.

“He was looking at me.” Gary says with confidence, his arm around my shoulder, as we walked away.

I didn’t correct them. I allowed them to think the dolphin was looking at them. And, as sure as they are that they had an intimate experience with a dolphin, I am equally sure I did.

[Guest msnher]

Welcome home, Colleen! I'm so glad you had such a good time with Marcia. I'm sure she had an equally good time with you!

Dee, I am glad your'e feeling better. I am also glad your pre-Thanksgiving dinner with Jon turned out well. How well I understand the anxiety that envelops us concerning our surviving children.

Leah - I just don't even know what to say to you, Friend! You remain in my prayers.

Crystal - I hope your letter gets the attention it deserves from your congresswoman. It was well written.

Betty - I am here. Thank you for asking! I just haven't known what to say. I begin to write and forget what I'm writing in the middle of a sentence and have to begin all over again. So weird! I am glad your stay with your sister was pleasant with loving reminders of your son. I also understand the need to be home and regroup.

Betsy - I am so glad you weren't hurt worse in your fall! "I'm hurting too!" I get it.

Kathy - I bet you looked good in your jeans and boots! Barry has lost 106 lbs!? He must be looking pretty good, himself!

Lorri - I know this is a rough time for you. I'm keeping you close in heart and thoughts.

Rhonda, Karen, Dan, Greg, Trudi and all other indigos....I think of you everyday!

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[daveydow1]

Carol----Thank you for your kind words about my baby Lisa. Today is her angel day. .

Leah---Sending prayers for your mom, that she continues to improve. Sorry everyone has the flu in your house. Hope

all will be feeling better soon.

Lorri-----Thinking of you today, and you are in my thoughts & prayers. Glad that you got the moving done, and I hope\

that Harlow finds a good home. (I didn't know if Harlow is a dog or cat, but I'm guess a dog,.....right? ) Peace to you.

Karen-----Thank you also for your kind words. You wrote that your heart still beats, but part is missing. I so know what

you mean. Sometimes we wonder how we keep on going, but we do. I guess that we want to do what our dear

beloved kids would want us to do. Shawn is always with you....wherever you go,......whatever you do. Always smiling

down.

Betsy----Sorry that you had a fall & hurt your knee. Hope it's feeling better each day.

Betty------Your walks on the seahore with your sis sounds so relaxing, and fun to see what birds come by. I hope our

deer are safe, but I wonder how it will go in hunting season. The neighbor behind us on the next road owns a lot of

the woods, and he's a hunter. His mom (my neighbor) tells me he has the animals he shoots stuffed into trophies.

He leaves a stuffed beaver or some sort of animal in her basement......she told him she'd like him to take it home.

Dee----Glad to hear you are feeling better. Also, glad that your early Thanksgiving dinner went well. Prayers for Jon.

Crystal------So good that you are writing your congressman regarding the lax gun laws in your state. I hope they respond.

Colleen-----Glad that you had a nice time in Florida.

Lisa kaye, my baby angel......You're always in my heart.....especially today, ......your Angelday.

We visited Lisa's grave today, and placed a dk. red carnation......then also visited Davey's grave.

PEACE AND COMFORT TO ALL HERE IN THE BI FAMILY.

Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry

[hotrod]

Dear Baby Lisa

You were here such a short time but will never be forgotten

Sherry thinking of you on this sad day

[Guest msnher]

LISA KAYE!!!

Hugs to you Sherry!

[ericasmom]

LITTLE LISA DEAR- May you smile on your Momma and Pops today, brushing up against their hearts as you help them through the sad date that this is for them. Prayers for your peace, for your everlasting love.

Sherry, Lisa is a little white soul flying here and there and stopping to gaze on her family with great love.

[mysonrich]

[daniellemom]

Sherry - You are in my thoughts and prayers today on Lisa Kaye's angeldate.

Dee - Hope you continue to feel better. Jon as always are in my prayers.

Colleen - Welcome back, glad you and Marica had a nice visit.

Trudi- Glad you are traveling back to the beach.

Betty - Great news that your sister is healing nicely and you were about to go to the Jersey Shore. Question for you why do Northerns call it the shore and Southerns call it the beach? When I went to Jersey only 2 times in my life, I told someone I was going to the Jersey shore.

Lorri - My thoughts are with you. Your Christmas Eve plans sound very nice!

Sus - Love your rambling!

Kathy - Glad Tav is feeling better.

Crystal - I hope your letter helps and Happy Birthday tomorrow. Ashlee will be right there with you tomorrow.

Dan - Nick's site looks very nice I can tell you put a lot of love into keeping it looking so nice. Danielle also has the heart shaped stone. Her's is grey. We left the edges rough because Danielle was rough around the edges! I miss her so much.

I've got a question? I've been trying to figure out why I'm having such a hard time lately. James will be turning 21 on the 23rd of this month, the same age Danielle was. Does anyone think that could be it? He's driving home from college on the 24th and I'm scared to death. I've asked him if he wanted me to come pick him up. Am I going crazy or what?

Sonya (Danielle's Mom)

[lolynbo]

AS IVE POSTED A 100 XS...THIS IS WHERE LISA IS...LOVE YOU SWEET LISA

[nicksdad]

[nicksdad]

Dan - Nick's site looks very nice I can tell you put a lot of love into keeping it looking so nice. Danielle also has the heart shaped stone. Her's is grey. We left the edges rough because Danielle was rough around the edges! I miss her so much.

I've got a question? I've been trying to figure out why I'm having such a hard time lately. James will be turning 21 on the 23rd of this month, the same age Danielle was. Does anyone think that could be it? He's driving home from college on the 24th and I'm scared to death. I've asked him if he wanted me to come pick him up. Am I going crazy or what?

Sonya (Danielle's Mom)

Well then I guess that is why we left Nicks stone with the smooth edges due to him thinking he was a pretty "smooth talker" and the girls seemed to believe it....

As far as James goe's I really have no idea, but no reason you can't just show up and say "guess who's riding with you" let's go.....I'm sure he would not

mind a bit....And if he does..oh well quality time will not be bad

[mysonrich]

I just read this:

Hi everybody,I have some great news. We are getting a new front page at www.Grieving.com. At midnight (EST), Tuesday, November 16, the forums will be down for a few hours as a change is made. The process of moving the entire Beyond Indigo site to www.Grieving.com should not be unduly disruptive to our community. Your logins should still work, and this time we are working to ensure that no one gets locked out of the system.STEP 1 When the move is complete, going to www.Grieving.com will still automatically redirect to forums.grieving.com. If you type in the URL, you won't even notice the change. HOWEVER, bookmarked pages will change because of the URL change, so be sure and re-bookmark when you get to forums.grieving.com.STEP 2 Near the end of the month, the new content will be up on www.Grieving.com. Once that happens, going to www.Grieving.com will bring you to the site's new front page. You'll need to click the link that says MESSAGE BOARDS to get to the boards. Now, this url will still be forums.grieving.com, so if you bookmarked it after step 1, you should be okay.We will have lots of interesting articles, products, information and much more available soon. It will be a great site for all of us.See ya there,ModKonnie

[heartbeataway]

Lisa ........ Lisa ........ Lisa ........ !!

The emoticon was chosen by DanO ...... made him happy.

[shorty16]

Lisa Kaye, Lisa Kaye,

You are around as long as someone remembers - and we remember

Colleen

[shorty16]

Sonya,

I think you may be right. Aaron turns 17 on Wednesday of this week (Nov. 17, 2010 his Golden birthday). He is now older than Brian ever was. Scott and I almost feel like we succeeded by getting Aaron to the age of 17. This time has been difficult, because this is the exact age Brian was right before he was killed.

For me, this thought has been around for several months - along with the sadness and anxiety that goes along with it.

Consider yourself hugged, Sonya

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[ericasmom]

Sonya, not crazy, but affected in the ways we all would be or have been. I think in this non-natural state, that what you are feeling is quite natural. Thanks for your prayers for Jon and mine will rest on James as he turns 21.

Betsy, odd, I thought that we went through the big change, why more? I did not see this email, did anyone else? Very strange.

Crystal, I know that your birthday will be one very different day, but hang on, just as Ashlee would want you to do, hang on. Send that letter Crystal, it is a good letter and a needed one. My heart is holding you.

Love to All,

dee

[rlolheiser]

Thinking of Lisa.. the little light that is always there to show mom and dad the way... hugs to you Sherry!

[Guest msnher]

Gary with his new toy....a leaf sweeper, I don't know the correct name. He had to try it out immediately. He found out it doesn't

pick up frozen leaves.

I don't know what the white, round light is. I'm not sure if it's an orb...not sure I believe in them, but after seeing it, I took several more pictures and there wasn't a bright light in them....same setting, outside of Gary. If it is an orb, if there is such a thing, it would be his father.

[rlolheiser]

I made it back from my trip, got 2 visits into my mom.. and I am tired. I try to take care of me.. thanks for worrying.

When I checked my messages on my phone today we had quite a shock. Somebody was looking for the person in charge of one of his brother's estates. Nobody had even known that the brother had passed on. How sad, he decided he didn't want to be a part of anybody and we are trying now to find out where he was buried. Nobody wants to give us any information

coleen, so glad you and marcia had a good time.

Crystal.. hugs my friend... send your letter.. it is good for your heart.. and many others.. you are in my prayers... Happy Birthday tomorrow if I can't get on.. Ashlee is walking with you through all your sadness.. I hope you feel her heart next to yours.

Susannah, your words are so beautiful to read.. thank you for being here.

Sonya, your not crazy.. your just a mom.. who has lost a lot and is afraid..hugs

Dee, they gave my grandson a new medication.. I feel so bad for him.. it is has really been aggravated lately. I am happy to hear your feeling better

Krichie, grandkids make life a lot more bearable.. hold tight to her..when she is there, I think Richie is there even more...

well.. my mind is roaming.. time to shut it down.. take care everyone.. your in my heart

[hotrod]

Hi Indigos

Dee Dissecting Owl Pellets!!! What a woman I love it !!! Loved your recipe for Brussels sprouts will try this weekend

Susannah I see a very bright orb in every picture in addition, Gary is very handsome and looks very happy

Sonya I agree with everyone you are just a mom who has suffered a huge loss I am sure James understands We Northerners say beach as well but since we have Beaches in both NY and NJ we designate which beach by indicating the state

Sherry I hope the deer find a good hiding place and that your day was soft and gentle

Crystal I love your email it was powerful and am so glad you took an action

Colleen Welcome back and Thanks for saying our angel names

Carol I hope that all is well

Leah glad you made it home So sorry about the upsetting news

Betsy I hope you are feeling better i do not understand the new "Board Change" The emailis very confusing I guess we need to wait and see.

Karen, Bonnie, Rhonda, Kathy, Trudie and MD and all Indigos have a peceful eveningr

[btmetz1218]

My name is Brian, I posted a message on the new topics board and a few responded, and I thank you so much for that. It was suggested that I try to find this board and post here and I would get more response. Well, I hope this is the right board. It was also suggested that I post a picture of my son and share about him, I dont have a problem doing that, other then not knowing how to post the pic and the angle date. I am not that computer savay, so simple directions would be greatly appreciated. As far as my son goes, he had just turned 28 on the 27th of July and had been living with his fiance,(Steph) for the past year, but had actually been dating her for about 6 years. He just proposed to her and thier wedding was going to be in April of 2011. His sister, (Alexis) aka Lex or Lexy is 20 years old and will be 21 in Jan.. Those two loved each other so much, and Jr. was like a father to her at those times when I could not . He was a great young man with a loving caring spirit that enjoyed laughing and having fun. He was responsible and hard working but also liked his time off to spend with his girl Steph his dog Tyson. He liked to golf, and was really good at it, and loved to go fishing, and I enjoyed doing those things with him, we had lots of fun together. He was born in Torrance California and was rasied in Apple Valley Ca. and thats where his mom, sister and that side of his family live, as well as where his body was laid to rest. He passed on Augest 7th of this year in Brandon Florida where him and his fiance lived. Of course there is alot more to the story and I basically went through all that on the first post on the New Topics Board, and I really cant muster up the strength again right now so I will leave it at that, and hope to make some new friends on this site. I am in the middle-east working with my wife Sarah and I really dont have anyone to talk to here about how I am feeling. Sarah loved Jr, with all her heart, although she is not the mother of Jr, and Lex, she loves them just the same.

So I need help on this site, I would like to get more involved, but first I would like to post pic and angle date, can someone walk me through that as simply as possible.

Thanks again for the all your post and I am looking forward to being a member of this group..... Brian

[mikesmomrs]

Just jumping on with a few words before the site goes down...it is now 2 am, and it is still up, so maybe I misread the message...or they are running into some delay?

Anyway, I just wanted to welcome Brian here, and am so very sorry that you have a reason to find us, but very glad that you did. Here you will find comfort, understanding, people to "talk" to and who will always want to hear words about your precious son, Jr. I am glad that you have Sarah, and that she loves your children...that is such a great help, I am sure. Thank you for sharing some of Jr.'s story. I lost my son, Mike, Oct 14, 2006, from brain cancer. He was 31 years old and left behind a young wife, and three boys, then 1 1/2, 9 and 10. We miss him more than we can say.

LISA....LISA....LISA...surround your mom with sweet memories today, hold her extra close. Thinking of you and hubby, Sherry, holding you close in my heart.

Betsy: so glad you did not hurt yourself more...hope you are doing better and less sore as the days wear on.

Betty: thank you for asking...all is well. I hope you are having a good week.

Sonya: It is perfectly understandable that you are feeling the way you are...our living child passing the birthday of the child who is no longer here to celebrate theirs...and James' having such a significant birthday, also...21...Danielle is smiling at him for sure!

both of Mike's sisters were older than him, but I can imagine that it would be unsettling, to say the least. Sending love and hugs to you...

Colleen: welcome back! I do hope that you and Marcia were able to have many hours sitting in the sun, talking and talking.

Dan: All of your hard work on Nick's site has paid off--it looks great. I wish we could "tend" the land where Mike's stone is, but it is maintained by the cemetery staff. They do a pretty good job of keeping it cut, but there is a lot of clover instead of grass.

Dee: glad to hear that you are feeling better physically, and hope the emotional side takes an upswing soon...being centered with your kids at school is good, and I am glad that it helps you. I agree with Betty---"dissecting owl poop?" Cool, but yuck! I must have been absent that day...thankfully!

Crystal: I hope that you have a happy birthday and that your beautiful Ashlee surrounds you with her sweet spirit...that first birthday we celebrate of our own is hard, but we are here, helping you through it.

Leah: I am glad the were able to give your grandson another medication...I hope that it helps the little guy!

Bonnie: Love that Dano added the little emoticon...he sounds so sweet.

Karen: I am glad that you have your little granddaughter with you sometimes...they do make getting out of bed worthwhile!

Lorri: I like your idea for Christmas eve...I hope all goes well,,,perhaps it will become a "new tradition."

To all those I've not mentioned, you are always close in my heart. I hope you all have a good week.

Cathi and Jamie were in a car accident tonight on the way home. Neither was hurt, thank God, but the truck looks pretty bad. She drives her dad's Ford F150, and was hit broadside by a Ford Ranger...the driver is only 16 (no one was hurt in their vehicle, either), and I feel so bad for him, having to start his "driving life" out like that! It was a red light/yellow light intersection, and though he slowed down, he didn't stop. He must have been going fairly fast to have done so much damage to her truck...if his truck had hit hers just a little closer to the front, she likely would have been injured. The brunt of the collision was at the back of her front door, and into the whole door behind her (it is an extended cab, with four doors). She can't open either door, so hopefully she will get a rental tomorrow and won't have to drive around in a vehicle where she can't open her door. Oddly, Jamie was not terribly upset about it (considering the anxiety he's been dealing with lately). I think it all happened so fast and he immediately saw that he and his mom were okay, so that may have helped him a lot. He called me on the phone while his mom was talking to the police and I think that helped him, too. I sure hope they can fix her truck...it is a 2001 so there is no way she will get what it is worth to her...it only has about 120K on it, and is in excellent shape (her dad gave it to her when he retired in Jan of 09 because he wouldn't be driving it anymore). The year, 2001, makes it 9 years old, so don't have any idea what the value would be. I just hope they can fix it. And I am just SO thankful that they weren't hurt.

I may not be here much over the next couple of days...we got a new computer and are taking it to the computer shop to have everything transferred over...I know it is likely something we could do ourselves, but I'd rather not take the chance. I can't wait to start using it...it is much faster than this one, but most importantly, it has a 23" HD screen! YAY! I won't have to squint anymore!

Will be thinking of you all and holding you in my prayers, as always. Sending love and peace,

Carol mikesmomrs

[mysonrich]

Early morning, my internal clock is still off by a couple of hours. Do I stay up and start the day? Do I try to sleep for 3-2 hours? dilemma.

Brian, so sorry for your loss,that of your son ,Brian Jr. You have found your way to a caring,compassionate place with many understanding people.

Carol, boy. isn't this two accidents in as many months? Its good to hear that Cathi and Jamie are unhurt as well as the other driver. Ford tough! When Rich was in HS, a classmate was allowed to drive his dads truck to school soon after receiving his license. The classmate lived with-in a half mile of school. Poor kid wrecked the truck. Rich felt bad for him . we would hope that there would be no taunting at school. the boy was ok.

Dee, thanks for the wise words. Why is it that I always feel I have to fix things? As we all probably do. hope you are feeling better as i was thinking..maybe some fun in the sun for you too. a temp fix but hey,winter break would be a great escape time and a needed recharge.

Sonya, the passing of time. Rich will always be 20 and Sarah,closing in on 25.Not the same at all but I understand your feelings. I agree,take a ride and surprise him.

Susannah,what do you mean it doesn't pick up frozen leaves?! Take it back!

I'll try to get a few more ZZZ's now. I wanted to share this picture with you all. I did not take it but this is exactly the show of color I have enjoyed for the past couple of weeks.

Betty, I think this a park in N.Jersey. I was going to ask, is your sister near-by?

One last thought..Thanksgiving again. I heard of bit of ancient history today,makes me want to go out to eat and I have just the place. I don't need ancient history . some people just think they walk on water.

ok ok..pleasant thoughts now.

[Guest msnher]

Carol - I'm so glad no one was hurt in the accident! I hope/trust the boy had insurance? Perhaps you said already and I missed it. Congrats on the new computer.

Betsy - I didn't understand the part about the history lesson in ancient Thanksgiving??? Thanks for the heads up about the site being down.

Brian - I am so sorry for the loss of your son, Brian Jr! You have come to the right place.

Betty - I didn't post the pictures without the orb.

Sonya - I haven't reached that experience, yet....having a younger child be the same age as the one who died....but, I would think it brings a lot of anxiety.

I'm going to try to get some more sleep, too.

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[hotrod]

Good Morniong Indigos

Welcome Brian I am glad you found yur way here. You can post Brian Jr.'s Angel day by: Going to the top of the page. Click on "My Profile " Then click on Edit my Profile. Space all the way down andyou will find the space fo the angel date That is the day that you lost your precious son. You can upload a picture by again going to your profile and clicking on Avatar and upload his picture. You can post to your message on the Board by spacing down and clicking on "atttach file"

Carol I aM SO GLAD NO ONE WAS HURT GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR COMPUTER

Betsy MY sister is in So Jersey, Momouth County on the shore That is a beautiful picture

Susannah your ramblings touched my spirit and I thought about my rambling thoughts as I walked. Each day when I walk I travel down by the river. THERE IS A WONDERFUL dog run on that walk and as I watch the dogs play and I too find a few that look deep into my soul with their knowing r eyes . I am touched deeply by the love I see there and then I remember walking with Stephen when he was just 4. He always would talk to evey dog he encountered. One day after he had stopped with an old dog who had such a sad look , he patted him and looked up at me and said :" Mom I just saw God in the eyes of that dog" . How profound that thought was for such a tiny child and I smile today at the re memory. .

I then walk thru the park and see : A big 6 ft tall burley laborer carrying his tiny infant in his arms. He is so very gentle and looks at the child with such love, I am in awe and filled with such great warmth. I am reminded of a bible verse that states for "THE Lord TAKES Delight in his people " and I think, Oh my I can understand the delight God feels in just the vision of the love this man has for his child

Then I reflect on all the love that is shared here and How our Indigo angels are not forgotten, how each of us cares for the other ever so gently. I think THAT EVEN THRU OUR PAIN WE REACH OUT TO COMFORT AND CONSOLE each other. I see HOW POWERFUL THESE SIMPLE ACTS OF KINDNESS ARE. I Feel" THE DELIGHT" THAT OUR BEAUTIFUL HUMANITY reflects .

YOU, my dear Indigos and the memories of our angels give me hope and compassion I am so grateful for these precious gifts

[Guest msnher]

Betty - "I just saw God in the eyes of that dog." Wow...wow...wow!! That's it. That's what I saw in that dolphin. Out of the mouth of babes. Just...wow!. Thank you so much for sharing that ... I needed that.

I must point out that I discovered the note that the site will be down was not inconspicuous at all. It is there, in bold letters, at the top of each forum/thread. I spoke BEFORE I looked. I, still, would have not known that unless I was searching for Brian's first post. Loss of an adult child is listed in my favorites and all I have to do is click on it and I am brought right to you all. I try to remember to look through the other forums for newcomers, but sometimes forget.

I am not looking forward to the "move", but I'm sure I'll survive.......I survived this one.

Thanks for all your hardwork, Konnie, Kelly, Eric and all that provide this lovely place for us all to meet!

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[Guest msnher]

Happy Birthday, Crystal. I know it might be hard to find anything "happy" about it, but I hope some form of joy and peace and love touch you today!

Hugs to you, Lorri.....and your whole family. Kimmy's "love u mommy" on facebook touched my heart!

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[lolynbo]

THANKS SUZ...SHES SOMETHING FOR SURE WE TEXT ALLLLOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTT.

WANTED TO SHARE THE LOSS HERE OF THE LIL GIRL KILLED IN THE FALL FESTAVL CELEBRATION....

.Jalen Rae Wolfe

Burneyville — Services for Jalen Rae Wolfe, 8, of Leon, Okla., are set for 2 p.m. Wednesday, November 17, 2010, in Freeman Auditorium of Turner School, Burneyville, Okla., with Bro. Jimmy May officiating. Interment will be in Leon Cemetery, Leon, Okla., under the direction of Flanagan-Watts Funeral Home & Cremation Services, Marietta, Okla.

Jalen was born June 18, 2002, in Ardmore, Okla., the daughter of David Ray and Manuela Flora Pena Wolfe. She passed away Friday, November 12, 2010, in Mercy Health Love County, Marietta.

A resident of Love County all of her life, Jalen was a second grade student at Turner Elementary. She loved reading books, cheerleading, fishing, playing with her little brothers and staying the night with her cousins. She attended the Leon Baptist Church.

Jalen was preceded in death by a brother, Javier Jordan Wolfe in October 2003; and an uncle, Larry James Wolfe.

Survivors include her parents, David and Manuela Wolfe of Leon; two brothers, Javon Jordan Wolfe and Jacoby James Wolfe of the home; paternal grandparents, Larry and Vera Wolfe of Leon; maternal grandparents, Adolfo Pena of Leon and Flora Pena of Ardmore; and numerous aunts, uncles, cousins and other relatives.

Casket bearers will be Clifford Ramon, Terry Ramon, Jordan Buckaloo, Robert Ortiz, Lucio Gomez and James Arthur. Honorary bearers are members of the second grade class of Turner Elementary.

BRIAN SADLY WELCOME...YOU HAVE FOUND THE PLACE THAT HELPS ME THE MOST...

[rlolheiser]

Brian, I hope you will find the peace that this site has brought to me. I still have rough days but the Indigo family gets me through it all. It is a hard road you travel but your not alone. I am sorry for the loss of your Brian Jr. but so glad you have come here to share.

Carol, I was so happy to hear that nobody was hurt in the accident..hugs.. and I hope your computer works like a dream :-)

Happy Birthday Crystal

I don't have much time today.. heading for the hospital...

just wanted my friends to know I am thinking of you all.