Loss of an Adult Child

[mikesmomrs]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please surround your sweet mom with wonderful memories of your life...brush her cheek with the scent of your sweet life, and thank you for giving HER the birthday present this year...her new job!  Way to go Rich!!!

love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs

[mikesmomrs]

SWEET DAVEY...please send to your mom special sweet thoughts, memories of your life here with her...help her find her way through this day that brings sadness to her heart, but also bitter sweetness, as she travels in her mind through the days of your life. 

Sherry:  holding you close and sending love to you.

carol mikesmomrs 

[aviemare]

Dee:

Try Honey and Lemon juice.  If that don't work, get some RX codeine cough syrup. haha  THAT works.

My moms name is Erika.

I had dreams for almost a year before Nicole died of having to identify her body in the morgue. I suppose that is not all that rare for mothers who's children battle addiction, but I knew and even Nicole knew that she would die.  I think I have been mourning my child for many years now.

She told me many times when she was absolutely clean that she would die before 30.  She tried desperately to bring a baby into the world.  I know now she knew she did not have much time.  She suffered 3 or 4 miscarriages before she finally carried Nickolus almost to term, but had him early due to her Diabetic complications.

Her sister was estranged from me for the stupidest reasons, and it was always Nicole's hope that we would get together and mend out our differences.  The differences really did not exist on my part; her sister thought I was trying to have CPS take her children away.  She suffers from mental illness and was very paranoid.  Of course I was not, but nothing could convince her of that.

Nicole did not intentionally overdose but I do believe her higher spirit chose the time and place for her death:  right on her sister's bathroom floor.  Nicole had been straight for almost 3 months prior to the night she died and for that time we finally had our REAL Nicole back.  It was almost like she was tying up loose ends.  We all got a tiny taste of our beloved Nicole, then she left us.

Her sister Beth and I are on great terms now, and Beth told me that it was horrible that Nicole had to die in order for her (Beth) to learn forgiveness.  I have since seen her many times and she gave a very intelligent and moving eulogy at Nicole's memorial service.

This is all so weird.  I still don't think my child is dead.  Isn't denial great?

Peace and Happy Trails,

Anni

[nicksdad]

[mysonrich]

Dear Sherry, boy, what a date to share between our boys. I think of you and your hubby, on the farm, in your angel garden, finding a little peace and comfort in the brown earth. Davey and Lisa beside you both,the flutter of a birds wing, the dew on fresh summer grass,the quiet at dusk. Holding you in my heart today with Davey beside you.

 

Betsy,mysonRich

[mysonrich]

Dan, thank you. Its just beautiful.

I wanted to share this article with you all. I read of this years ago, before Rich died. The men couldn't speak of this for a few years, in fear of their goverment. Read`on...

report of angels seen in space by the Russian crews:

This appeared in the Sunday supplement of many newspapers as well as the Weekly Reader that went out to all the Elementary Schools:

**** Something occurred with the Soviet Cosmonauts in the Salyut 7 that orbited the earth in 1985. This is a rather hushed secret that has been leaked to the west . . .

The six Soviet Cosmonauts in 1985 saw "celestial beings" on the 155th day aboard their orbiting space station. This was first reported by Cosmonaut Vladimir Solevev and Oleg Atkov as well as Leonid Kizim. This is what they said, "What we saw were seven giant figures in the form of humans, but with wings and mist-like halos as in the classic depiction of angels."

As the Cosmonauts were performing medical experiments in Salyut 7 high above the earth, a brilliant orange cloud enveloped them, blinding them temporarily, and when their eyes cleared, they saw the angels.

The heavenly visitors, they said, followed them for about 10 minutes and vanished as suddenly as they had appeared. However, 12 days later, Cosmonauts Svetlana Savitskaya, Igor Volk, and Vladimir Dzhanibevok, who had just joined the others on the space station, also saw the beings. "They were glowing," they reported. "We were truly overwhelmed. There was a great orange light, and through it, we could see the figures of seven angels. They were smiling as though they shared a glorious secret, but within a few minutes, they were gone, and we never saw them again." ****

[line]

[ericasmom]

Betsy, love the angel report, and I so believe and am grateful to have always believed in forces bigger than us. I hope this day is filled with the magic of Rich, those soulful eyes shining peace all over you. I am joyous at the new job, the story behind it. Sometimes we are exactly where we are supposed to be, even though it feels that we, none of us, should be here, we are- and to find your steps by listening closely to your inner voice, your spirit, you left a negative place and that opened you to new opportunities. I am sure Rich is so happy for your instincts.

Anni, I too love being alone though I also love being with folks. I find a balance but feel out of kilter when I have not had enough alone time. A good day all, off to teach.

[Guest]

Remembering both Rich and Davey.  Reaching out to both Betsy and Sherry.  Sending both of you love. 

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[shorty16]

Sherry, Thinking of you and your family as today marks 7 years since Davey became an angel (if my math and cheat sheet are correct).  May you feel Davey's angel wings against your cheek like a butterfly kiss .

Betsy, Happy Heavenly Birthday to Rich - 22 years (If my math and cheat sheet are correct).  May Rich's light shine on your face today and make you smile!!

Love to you both

Colleen

[Guest]

Yes, my daughter is a trooper.  We went to a genetic specialist after she was born, because there seemed to be so many, unrelated, anomalies.  What's weird is a friend of mine, whose baby was due around the same time as Amanda, was born with the same anomalies, except much worse.  She was premature, while Amanda was full term.  We lived within blocks of each other in Vegas.  No answers for either child.  It has been suggested she was supposed to be a twin because she had two sets of female organs.  The kidneys are misshapen and I still question the existense of the fourth one, but Amanda said the doctor is sure that's what it is.  She spent most of her first year in the San Diego children's hospital.  And, most of her second in Primary Children's hospital in Salt Lake.  After the age of two there were a few more surgeries here and there, but mostly, she was hospital free.....except for a couple of long, difficult surgeries, by the age of 13.  For the last 6 yrs, however, it's been pretty much a repeat of her first couple years...one thing after the other going wrong.  Hopefully, with the new doctors in NH things are on the upswing for her.  I am so angry at the surgeon who operated on her in Casper.  None of the best doctors here would touch her, but she finally found a nut who would.  It was her choice but it is my opinion that he totally screwed her up.  She was tired of traveling and believed he could fix her.

Thanks for listening.

Susannah

[4everjoeysmom]

Remembering Davey and Rich...Hugs to Sherry and Betsy!!!

[4everjoeysmom]

Dee,

For the cough:

http://www.health911.com/remedies/rem_coughs.htm

[lolynbo]

IM SO GLAD MY KOURTNEY HAS STRONG ANGELS WATCHING OVER HER......................

HAPPY HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY RICH AND DAVEY....SO GLAD MY GIRL HAS YAL AROUND HER....LOVE TO ALL...BE WITH THOSE WHO NEED A SPECIAL FLUTTER ON THE SHOULDER FROM YOU TODAY AND EVERYDAY

[mikesmomrs]

Sus:  your daughter is more than a trooper...she is amazing, but she comes by that honestly enough, from her amazing mom.  I pray for strength for her, and that she will find the doctors she needs here in NH.  Do you know where she is going?  The BIG hospital here in NH is Dartmouth Hitchcock, in Lebanon, with some community branches in other cities...actually, it is the only big hospital, all the others are just locals, though they claim greatness.  Other than that, there is Boston, which is about 1 1/2 hours from where I live, and of course, they have many BIG hospitals. That is really something about your daughter and the other baby being born at the same time with the same types of problems...

I wish her the best and sending love and strength to you,

carol  mikesmomrs 

[lolynbo]

2 YRS TODAY WE DECIDED TO TAKE YOU OFF THE MACHINES...WHAT A HARD CHOICE THAT WAS...BUT I KNEW THAT THE MACHINES WASNT THE ONLY THING KEEPING YOU ALIVE, I KNEW GOD WAS ALSO IN THE ROOM, AND IF HE CLD HEAL YOU HE WOULD.....

THANKFUL WE HAVE COUNCELING TONIGHT....I SURE NEED IT....

[lostwoher]

HaPPy Heavenly 22nd BiRthDaY Richard Rich Richie

You are loved and missed GREATLY

[lostwoher]

 So many years but yet not long ago and always loved

    Dave David Davey never can say it enough

xo

[Guest]

Carol - Amanda now lives in Ossippee (sp?).  I'll have to ask her which hospital it is.  She contacted several before finding the right one.  I'm thinking Dartmouth, but I'm not sure.  Originally we thought it would be Rochester but apparently she's not as close to that as we thought she would be. 

Lorri - Holding you close with powerful intentions of comfort and peace!

Susannah

[briansdad]

This is for all of the angel dates an birthdays this week.

You guys are the best.

[ericasmom]

Claudia, thanks, I have done several of these, but I do think I will go use some crystalized ginger for some tea with honey. I thnk the antibiotic has broken up a lot of the sinus blockage, so now I have this cough to deal with so that it does not go into my chest. We'll see. My chiropractor is a homeopath and uses many herbs and natural meds, he also did a cranial massage to release my sinus blockage but I had to go to the doctor for meds as it was too advanced.

So sweet of you to send that link, it is a good one and I have bookmarked it.

Lorri, this day is a hard one. Looking into the eyes of your Girl and knowing what it took to say "no more machines" is heartbreakingly sad, but here you are and she is as Greg posted, dancing with angels.

Sus, did the other mom and you share the same doc? Did you deal with the same aNything  because those kinds of anomalies sound like something either in the area like agent orange for our vietnam vets, or some kind of strange toxic material while you were pregnant. Did you hear or know of other women in the area that also experienced these kinds of maladies in their newborns? My goodness, what strength for you and she to face what it took to face those surgeries.  Blessings.

[shorty16]

Lorri

I showed my daughter, Michelle the wings Kourtney's nurse had tatooed on her back.  They are so cool.  Just like Michelle's urn necklace.

Indigo's

My brain is gone today.  My concentration is that of a 2 year old.  

Scott and I saw the parents of one of Brian's friends on Friday at a Church festival.  I know these parents mean well, but she just had to tell me they saw Mike and Sam in a restaurant and those boys were laughing on how drunk they got the other night.

I do not care!!?!!!?!?!?!?!?!

Our family life is just fine when I do not see, hear of, or know that those 2 boys exist.  They will really not realize what they have done until they have familys of their own.

How does a 16 year old die???.  Especially from car-surfing.  That question will be asked by me until the last breath I take.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

 

[Guest]

Hugs to you, Colleen!  How I wish there were answers.

Dee - The only thing the genetic specialist came up with is we both got a very bad flu at the same time.  He said the placenta cannot fight off viruses.  However, I've been told by doctors that information is not correct.  They just call it a fluke.  Keep in mind that Southern Nevada is where they have done (still do?) a lot of nuke testing.  There is a very high rate of cancer there.  But, I don't think that's it. 

I didn't take good care of myself when I was pregnant with Amanda.  I gained 36 lbs.  I had morning sickness the whole 9 months from morning til night and I took dramamine and other prescription meds to help with the nausia.  Sometimes I wonder if that did it.  With my  next three pregnancies I ate right and took my vitamins and never took so much as a tylenol.  I only gained 14 lbs with the next three pregnancies.  The doctors accused me of starving myself, but the truth is, I just ate right.  My body still doesn't metabalize iron.  With Stephanie they actually gave me shots of iron once a week, but my body didn't even "digest" that.  I still can't be a blood donor.  I thought that might be it, but they said it wasn't.

All the times the doctors prepared us for Amanda's death that didn't come....and, then to watch a baby bleed to death after a tonsilectomy.  Some things just don't make sense. 

I have to force myself to remember that I believe this life is not all there is.  Dead is not dead.  Gone is not gone.  My beliefs.  I don't think I  could survive if I believed differently.  I don't think our children have ceased to exist.  When I remember that I believe that, I find peace.  When I forget that I believe that, I'm a wreck.  Sometimes it just doesn't matter what I believe.  I'm just a wreck. 

This journey of grief is a power unto itself.  I don't think it was meant to destroy us, though.  It just sucks!

 

[ericasmom]

Col, I can see why your brain feels mushy today, your month of June is filled with so many memories. The woman telling you what she did added to that. I agree, they may not know the extent of their game until they are older and able to see what is at stake...however, it could also be taht they are drinking heavily in order to try to not remember what they joined in on. Who knows? You are asking the same questions I asked for some time after Eri died.

 How, how does my little Girl get hit by a train? How does this really just happen? How did the people that were supposed to change the fuse just not? Tiny little things like fuses, or like moments on a phone that had we stayed on longer...well you all know the drill, and I promise, that drill, that constant hum and buzz that burns a trench into your hearts, will subside some, over the years it will, and may show up with strength again at the time of the aniverrseries, as mine is kicking in some, just a month from today, our 7 in heaven like Davey. But it does soften Folks, it softens and allows your relationship with your Child to continue in a whole new realm and  I am grateful for having this.

[lolynbo]

COLLEEN...I NO ITS A RUFF WEEK FOR YOU AS WELL...EVERTHING COMES FLOODING BACK IN OUR MINDS, OUR SOULS, TO OUR TOES....

I LOVE THE ANGEL WING TATTOO..IM SO GLAD YAL FOUND WHAT YAL WERE LOOKING FOR IN THE URNS...I SAW A WEBSITE OF THEM..LONG AGO JUST GLANCING AT THEM..

IM HOLDING ON DEE BY A THREAD...WITH OUT ALL THE SUPPORT ON HERE AND FB...I THINK I WLD JUST STAY  IN BED...

BUT IM SHOWERED AND HEADING OUT THE DOOR TO RUN ERRANDS THEN COUNCELING..SOMETIMES I THINK I JUST GO FOR THE FOOD...

LOVE TO ALL HOLDING US ALL IN A HUDDLE WITH ANGEL OVER US...

[ericasmom]

Sus, we wrote at the same time. I really wonder about the doctor saying it was a fluke. One yes, two in the same neighborhood at the same time? Fluke rhymes with nuke. Anyhow, I don't think that dramamine would cause the anomalies your Girl has, and I doubt the other Mom took the same things at the same times. Taking good care of yourself, maybe, but if you are saying that 36 pounds is a lot, I am going to scream. Kidding but really? I gained 30 pounds with ERi before my 4th month, it was scary to get so big so fast and boy, when folks gave up their seat on public trans for the big pregnant woman and asked when I was due adn I said shamefully, " in six months" it was hilarious. WEll not then it wasn't it was depressing, I was HUGE. I gained 60 pounds with Eri, and she was all of 8 of it. I stayed big for some time. Jon was my first and I gained 42 with him, he was 9.3, and I lost that weight pretty quickly. My goodness, I was big. For you to only gain 14, heck that was a month of weight for me.

[ericasmom]

Good Girl Lorri, showered and going out the door, making yourself take those steps to counseling is probably the best thing you can do for yourself today. I am proud of you, and you must know that Kourt is too. So proud of her Momma, her best Bud.

love you Lor,

dee

[Guest]

LOL about the weight thing.  I have always battled my weight...needing to lose about 70 lbs in highschool and then 20 lbs most of my adult life.  I THINK what happened with the other three babies is I really monitored my eating and ate very healthy....rarely eating meat, fatty foods or junk food. I ate a lot of fruit, vegetables, fish and drank a lot of water.  I didn't drink ANY soda (coke) while pregnant with the other three....that, by itself, probably counted for the weight loss.

Weird thing....about 10 years ago I suddenly lost all extra weight and actually had to try to gain weight.  (that was a fun change)  It was a hormone imbalance.  I stayed between a 100 - 115 until Stephanie died and then gained 25 lbs just like that.  I'm balancing out again, though.  I can feel my energy coming back and am not craving carbs so much.....I've lost 15 of the 25 without much effort. 

I was considered an obese teenager.  Food was my comfort during foster homes.  Chocolate will always be my comfort! 

[Guest]

Oh...No. We did not share the same docs.  They flew her baby to Salt Lake Primary Children's hospital and they flew mine to San Diego children's.  The doctor at the Neonatal unit in Vegas was from San Diego, so he preferred that hospital.  Our first baby, so we just did what was suggested.  My friend's baby was her last (5th I think) and they wanted Salt Lake. 

[daniellemom]

Sherry - My thoughts and prayers are with you today as you remember your precious Davey!

Betsy - Happy Birthday RICH.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Colleen and Lorri - Thoughts are with you as you approach those dates.

Sonya (Danielle's Mom)

 

[lolynbo]

THANK GOD I HAVE YAL...COUNCELING HAS BEEN CANCELLED DUE TO POSSIBLE BAD WEATHER (AGAIN LAST MONTH TOO)...

IM SOOOOOO THANKFUL I HAVE THIS WEB PAGE...

[Guest]

Lorri - I'm glad you're here, too!  Talk, rant, rave...whatever you need!  You help me more than you know!

Susannah

[summergirl]

I am so sorry that I only have a few moments to chat as it is late and Tavian has to go to bed.

HAPPY, HAPPY BELATED 22nd BIRTHDAY RICH....I KNOW THAT YOU ARE CELEBRATING WITH ALL THE ANGELS AND ARE SMILING DOWN ON YOU MOM AND DAD.

SWEET DAVEY, SEVEN YEARS IN HEAVEN....HOW WE PRAY THAT YOUR FAMILY FEELS YOUR PRESENCE, THAT YOU FLY HIGH AMONG THE STARS AND SHINE BRIGHT FOR ALL TO SEE.

LORRI - HANG TOUGH MY FRIEND....WE ARE HERE, WE ARE HERE.

RICH, RICH, RICH

DAVEY, DAVEY, DAVEY

KOURTNEY, KOURTNEY, KOURTNEY

SAYING THEIR NAMES, SAYING THEN OUT LOUD.

Promise to carch up tomorrow night.....I love you all. Kathy

[briansdad]

New song I found

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-aUoRT9Ml6I&feature=related

[briansdad]

For all my friends here we should all go light our world in our childs name.

We do it here every day!!! For each other.

 

[ericasmom]

Thanks Greg, what great music and beautiful photos with the candles. We do it everyday is right, we keep the lights burning brightly for our Angels and because of our Angels. We shine because they shine.

Lorri while I am so sad that you did not have counseling, I am more concerned now that you are okay. The news shows me huge flooding in OK city. Are you in a safe place, on higher ground?

This month holds a lot of aching hearts. May each of you feeling alone in your grief know that we are holding on to you with our hearts, a tether to this Earth and to the support that exists in this world that we share.

My Love and Hope,

dee

[mikesmomrs]

Reflections have run deep this week in our house...many thoughts, worries, prayers and roller coaster hours...but coming here, seeing all supporting one another through this week of rough days for some, gives us hope, as always...hope that no matter what happens, things will eventually come to a place in our hearts where we can breathe again, hope again, live again...and know that the dips back down will always be followed by the acsent again...and again, and again.

Lorri, I am so very sorry that your session was cancelled...please know that we all here hold you close and send comfort and love straight to your heart.  This is a sad week for you...reminding you of terrible hours and heartbreaking decisions...nothing will ever change that...but each day will bring you closer to Kourt, closer to seeing her again, and while we sometimes scream that "I want to see her NOW!!" when our heart is being scraped raw again by memories we wish we never had to live with, our angels are sitting close by, hovering over us with aching hearts, waiting for the sun to rise again in our eyes and hearts and they will take us by the hand and lead us to peaceful memories once again...

Sonya:  So nice to see your sweet Danielle's smile and beautiful eyes again...and you, too, Lynn, nice to see your beautiful Kayla smiling out at us...

Col:  Holding you close as you are scraped again by the painful comments of others, as you continue to miss your Brian so very much. It seems this woman may have been trying, in her own weird way, to put herself into your graces by her comments...

Sus:  I pray your daughter finds all she needs with the doctors she seeks out.  What a rough, rough road you've had to travel, by yourself and then with your children...you are made of strong stuff, and thank heavens, as those grandbabies need you so much, and you seem to be feeding that need with the love and understanding that goes a long way with helping mend the broken hearts of hurting children. 

Dee:  I hope your teaching class went well, but then, why wouldn't it...I would love to take a class taught by you. 

Greg:  thanks so much for sharing the music and videos and candles...

Damon was here today.  on the way out of our house to go back to his house, I had to go back in for a couple of things we needed to take with us and was kind of rushing as it was nearing his bedtime...Damon waited in the car with his papa...he turned to his papa and said "Nana is the opposite of being on time." 

When we got to his house, he wanted to "work on his mazes" for a bit before bed...this is his "concentration" pose with his book...

Goodnight all my indigo friends, may peace-filled memories float through your dreams...

love and peace,  Carol  mikesmomrs

[mikesmum]

There is a band of (((hugs))) that surrounds anyone of us at any given time.  It comes from the knowing. 

For the believers....From my nieces deb.  Orbs aplenty.

Check my brothers jacket....

Jess, my niece in the foreground at the entrance to the deb.

This was an 'impromtu' shot supposed to catch me, Bill and Jess in the background.  Not only orbs, check out the L side of my face/head.  I could swear an orb flashed past.

C  ya Trudi

[Guest]

Good Morning, Indigo's,

I'm still a bit groggy and am on my first cup of coffee.  Hopefully we'll have some sun today.  The National Guard put sandbags by the river, not far from our house, yesterday.  Nothing like what you're going through, Lorri.  I saw you on facebook, so I'm hoping that means all is well at your house! 

We've had so many summers of drought that I find it difficult to complain about all this water.  Complaining isn't going to change things, anyway.  Mother Nature doesn't ask if I mind or if I'm prepared.  I sure do feel for all the people how have lost family members and/or homes!! 

Carol - How old is Damon?  I love the "study" pose!  "Grandma is the opposite of on time."  LOVE IT!! 

Trudi - Love the orbs.  I think it's time Steph sent a new sign....I wonder if I have about as much power over that as I do the weather.   

Wishing you all a peaceful day,

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[shorty16]

Hello my dear Indigo Friends.

I come to this site everyday (almost) to hear from the people who "KNOW."

It is cloudy today here in WI, that keeps the temperature down - I suppose that is good.

Lorri, You are in my thoughts today are you cannot help but relive the last time your dear Kourntey was on this Earth.  If I could reach through this computer and give you a big bear hug----I would.

Thinking of all my Angels and the people who love and miss them more than life itself.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[rlolheiser]

Just wanted to let you all know I am thinking of you.  I have been having computer problems..but I am back on finally.  I have missed dates that are important to my friends..thinking of you at this time Lorri.. and your precious Kourtney...Sherry, missing your Davey... (hugs) .. Betsy, Happy Birthday to Rich.. a little late..I know he is with you always.

I think of everyone even when I am not here..  I watch the weather and pray everybody is safe in their homes.. For everybody having hard times.. I lift your angels name up to the heavens and pray you find some peace.

I am doing fair here, trying to stay out of depression... my new weight loss is 40 lbs.  So many more to go.

While I was working on my computer, I found this picture.. I hope I post it ok..  It is JaBoa and her mother on much happier days

love to all

Leah/JaBoa's grandma 

 

[lolynbo]

TODAY CHEERFUL PPL MAKE ME WANNA PUKE....JUS SAYN THER I FEEL BETTER NOW...NOT YAL PPL ON FB..AND LIFE IN GENERAL...

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE THOUGHTNESS...LOVE THAT PIC...SO NEAT

[daveydow1]

Thanks so very much to all BI friends for you wonderful posts for Davey's

ANGEL DAY. Dan---Lovely graphics...thank you,Susannah,,Kathy, Lynn, Sonya, Betty,

Colleen, Betsy, Claudia, Lorri, Greg (loved the 'Dancing With Angels video),

Carol.. ... You guys are the greatest, and this site has been a lifeline for me.

Betsy----Happy Belated Birthday, Rich.   Yes, Betsy, we do share the date--

June 14. Oh, how we wish we could have them back.....if only. Good to hear

that you got another job. I think  Rich & your mom were letting you know that

they are smiling down on you.

Kathy----I know what you mean about the older woman you work for. I had

worked, as a nurse, in a Dr's office once. They had a sour woman who was

"married to her job". Overbearing, forgetful (blaming others for her errors etc.),

going over & above her scope of abilities....(telling patients on the phone to go

and renew their prescriptions...which is strictly the Dr's place)....you get the

picture. Needless to say, I quit the job pronto......one or two paychecks into the

job. Anyhow....yep....maybe the woman you work for will take the retirement

incentive. We can hope, can't we?

Anni----Thanks for the poem.....so very true. My heart goes out to you.....10 wks.

is just such a short time on this road, and your heart and feelings have not had

nearly enough time to 'mend' a little. Not that we ever stop grieving....that's certain.

Thoughts & prayers for you, friend.

Lorrie---Hang on dear friend. I know this is so rough for you & your family.

Susannah---Your daughter Amanda is lovely. Thanks for the pic. Bless her for her

courage in the rough trials with her health. ( I have sent you a PM )

Dee----I think that I have aged many years since Davey passed. I, too, look it,

and feel it. Yikes, my aching bones . Your dreams of ERi passing over are

very haunting (if that is the right word ?).  We wonder why we have such telling

dreams or premonitions.  I do hope that your flu symptoms go away very soon.

Hope some 'home remedies' may help.....can't hurt.  Looked out my window at

7 a.m. today, and saw a doe and two fawns run across the yard. We kept it low-

key yesterday. Visited the graves of Dave & Lisa,.....it was pouring rain. My

husband & I stood under the big black umbrella and said our prayers, cried.....then came

home. The memoriam in the local paper, that we placed was nice.  Take care,

 friend.

  THANKS TO ALL HERE AT BI.   PEACE & TRANQUILITY.

,                    Davey&LisasmomSherry    

 

[lolynbo]

WANTED TO POST KODY AND BROOKES 1 YR ANNIVERSARY PIC...(PROOF)..

[summergirl]

Sherry - thanks for sharing about the "old lady boss".....I have been on the job for 16 years and I love what I do. Also, the insurance cannot be beat....full medical, dental, eyeglass, perscription.....if I had to pay for all of that I do not know what we would do....I make decent money but know I could double it somewhere else but would never get the benefits I have. Yes, I am hoping she takes the retirement as not only would it be good for us but for her also, maybe she could actually begin to enjoy life.

Greg - Tavian and I watched the candle video together.....it is so beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing....seems to be a wonderful gift you have.

Lorri - I get it girl.....seeing happy people when you are so sad makes you want to scream....well, let it go, I will hear you and scream right back at ya....

Carol - love the concentration pose that Damon has....

Trudi - for those who believe see with their mind and heart as well as their eyes....I am a believer and those orbs - plenty - love that Mike flew by and gave you a kiss !!

Leah - a beautiful pic of Jaboa and mom......I am so proud of your 40 pound loss...my gosh how are you doing it ?? I want to lose 15 and can't seem to lose an ounce.

Speaking of weight loss my Barry has now lost 76 pounds !!!!  He looks so great and his energy level is at an all time high.  He has went from a size 3X t-shirt to an XXL. His pants from a 50 to a 42....He wants to lose another 75 but we shall see. I will post a pic of him next week as we are going camping this weekend so will get lots of pics....

Trudi - I tried the directions you gave me for photo bucket but must have made a mistake somewhere along the way so I will try it again.

Went to see Jessica today and got a surprise.....2 of Jessica's best friends, Natalia and Elisa had been there and planted flowers, cleaned up, it looks beautiful. They wrote a long letter to her in the journal I keep there for people to write in.....I smiled, I cried.....my heart happy that her friends are still loving her and not forgetting her.

To all who are having such a sad, heartbreaking time.....we are here, always here.

Love, peace and strength....Kathy

[Guest]

Dee - You are in my heart and thoughts a lot today!  I hope you are mending from the bug you've caught...I hope your heart is well!!  Sending love and appreciation your way!

Sherry - Bless you, my friend!  Thank you!

Leah - Love, love, love the picture of JaBoa and her mommy! 

Lorri  - Holding you close in thought and prayer as you walk through this painful time of memories! 

I'm feeling more like my old self these days.  Today was a beautifully, sunny day.  I think it got up to 80! 

Love to each of you!  I miss you, Betty!

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[ericasmom]

Hi Guys and Gals,

I have been busy the whole day through, teaching in the morning with my friend Katie, and off to the gynocologist this aft, for the yearly. Then home to have my third grade team come over so that we could do some curric. planning for next year. We were able to brain storm outside in between rain showers, and back inside when it go too wet. We ordered Thai food and enjoyed that and did more planning. I made a peach cobbler for desert, an easy recipe that I love, adn we went for a walk and back to a bit more brain storming.

My friends left at 9:30. So I am off to bed but first, Leah, I love that photo. JaBoa and her Momma, your Daughter are so pretty together. Yes, happier times, and I am happy that there were those. 40 pounds is a big deal so Congrats to you. That takes a lot of willpower. Amazing. Keep it up Leah, and then teach us.

Trud, the orbs in those photos are a definite sight for my eyes and my heart. There they are, Angels dancing right alongside you all. Right there--and there--and there. Right on you.

What nice pictures.

Lorri, what a cutie your Boy is with his Girl. A year already? Goodness how does that happen. Tell him I think that he is adorable.

Glad that you are safe Kid.

Carol, that Damon with his puzzles. He is one focused Guy. I love that you are the opposite of on time. Perfect.  And thanks, I wish you were here to be in the writing class, we would definately do some laughing, and some crying.

Sonya good to see your Danielle's face smiling out and same to Betty. Missing you both.

Love to all, my eyes are rolling,

dee

[mikesmomrs]

Lorri:  Love the pic of Kody and Brooke...cute couple...thanks for sharing.  I hope that as the days of this week move by your heart, you are able to think of more of the wonderful memories of your beautiful Kourtney. 

Kathy:  Congrats to Barry...I know he must feel so wonderful---and it holds such promise for all of you to have more fun this summer, together!  So nice that you came upon the words from Jessica's friends visit to remember her...must be very comforting.  That is not something that has happened with us...with Mike being married and having kids, most of his friends, who were still single, had drifted off.  Denis (Mike's closest friend) does not care to be there...reminds him too much that Mike is gone.  I remember that on the night that Mike passed, after they took him out, Denis kind of just sat there, not seeming to want to leave, so I asked if he wanted to spend the night.  He gratefully answered yes, and slept on the living room chair, next to the room where Mike had been.  The next day, when everyone was preparing to leave to go home, he just kept hanging around.  I saw him go to the door a couple of times, then turn around and come back.  Finally, he came up to me, tears running down his face, and said "I know that once I go through that door, I have to learn how to live my life without Mike, and I don't know if I can do that."  I put my arms around him, and we cried together.  I said "I don't either, Denis.  We will have to learn together."   But he doesn't like to visit the site.  He comes here often, though, and we share many stories, and that is a good thing---for all of us.

Leah:  Good for you...congratulations on your weight loss!  With summer here, you can get outside, and feel the loss even more as you walk through your days, much lighter and feeling much better.  I too love the pic of JaBoa and her mom...

Trudi:  Thank you for sharing the pics...yes, orbs all about you, and yes, I agree, Mike brushing your cheek...for sure!  I am glad you were there for your brother at his daughter's debut...I am sure these events trigger his loss even more, just as they do for you---it's good that you could be together, even if not many words were spoken of your losses; the bond is there, nevertheless.

Dee:  Sounds like you had a busy but wonderfully productive day with your third grade team.  I always said that if I were a teacher, the third grade is the one I would want to teach...they seem so much more open to everything, with a little more understanding than the couple of years before...   When we were with Damon the other day, he was telling me that his mommy really likes going to school, but all she does there is "study about body parts."  I said "Well, you know, in just a couple of months, you will be going to school too."  He answered "Well, I sure won't be studying just about body parts!" 

Sus:  Glad to hear that you are having sun and warm temps finally, and that you are feeling more like your old self...enjoy these moments...

Sherry:  So nice to hear of the wildlife in your yard...we used to have deer all the time at our old house, but haven't seen one around here yet, though have seen a fox and a skunk.  Of course, the deer always helped themselves to our flowers, but I eventually learned to used that "deer off" on them, so they would last a little longer...it really smelled when you would first spray it though...garlic and rotten eggs...phew!  But it kept my flowers intact for a bit!  An edit to my earlier post:  Sherry, tears spilled as I read of you and hubby under the umbrella at your babies' sites, the rain appropriately reflecting the feelings in your heart..holding you both close in thought.

Davis gets his wisdom teeth pulled out today---Wed.   He's had very little need for any dental work other than the usual maintenance, so he is dreading this "horrid-sounding event."  We are too....he does NOT do pain well! 

hope all are having a good, restful night.

love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs 

[ericasmom]

Hey Carol, you apparently were either up late or up early, either way, it might mean you are not getting a lot of sleep. I think Damon's take on things could make a book, he has a hilarious way of addressing things. My thoughts to Davis, that the extractions go smoothly. Mike's friend sounds like a true soul-mate to his Buddy. I am so glad that he is able to offer his authentic self in the face of so much and continues to be apart of your family.

THird grade does offer so much, the kids are simply at the age where they begin to become active citizens and make decisions or state opinions on current events while still loving their stuffed animals and cuddling with a story. They also have such fresh senses of humor and open hearts.

Kath, I know it must have felt good to have evidence of Jess' friends at her site. Knowing that others go there is comforting.

Sherry, the rain probably outlined how you were feeling on the 14th, and I picutured you and husband under the black umbrella feeling the same feeling we all do, that unbelievable-how-in-the-world-can-this-be-our-child? I continue to hold you and ask God to hold your hands.

I feel like I am getting a bit better now, less coughing and a bit more deep sleep though sure could use more. The day looks like it is going to be pretty, clouds have gone and we are supposed to have dry weather for a couple of days.

[shorty16]

Good Morning Indigos

Just a quick hello.  Dee - posting at 5:42am??? That is when my alarm goes off - for the first time!?!?!

Such great stories I am reading about others in our lives who share the loss of our child.  My sister, Chris is also suffering these last couple days.  I am so wrapped up in my familys grief, I do not realize that extended family and friends suffer also.

We have been asked if we have anything planned for Saturday....nothing.  I told them to come on over and we can think of something together.

My heart is heavy.  The loss of my son...so real.  I feel like I am wearing a lead-suit.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[ericasmom]

Col, woke up and looked at the clock without glasses and thought, oh it is 6:30 might as well get up to walk or bike before i go teach. But with glasses it was really only 5:30, which is the time I get up during the school year each morn, but oh well, early up, nice 40 minute bike ride, and now getting ready to go teach. I know your heart feels like it needs a rollercart to carry it, sooooo heavy Colleen. But of course it is, because that Boy, That Brian, is so LOVED. Yes, our sisters and brothers adn cousins and aunties and everyone connected to us suffer the loss of our Child, and the more easy going us that we used to be to them. Nothing easy about it.

Love you all.