Members briansdad Posted June 7, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 7, 2010 Hey Trudi,Wish I could be there.I've bowled a few 299's and one 300 game maybe I could give you some pointers. GregPS yes I'm still here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lolynbo Posted June 7, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 7, 2010 HAPPY BIRTHDAY TRUDI...LOVE AND HUGGS TO YOUKODY GOT 4TH SAT NIGHT...IT WAS SOOOOOOOOO HOTTTTKIMMY AND CODY (SON IN LAW CODY) ARE IN LAGUNA BEACH CALI...WITH HER JOB AND PLAYING GOLF $400...TO PLAY...(HER JOB PAID)...CODY IS IN HEAVEN...HE IS THE ONE WITH THE HOT PINK SHORTS ON....LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted June 7, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 7, 2010 I will need an alley with bumpers, to prevent the inevitable gutterballs that I am so good at accomplishing. My high score ever, 72.TA-DA.Love to you, but birthday isn't till later in the month right?dee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted June 7, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 7, 2010 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TRUDI. I haven't bowled in years & years, but was never much good at it when I did bowl.......back in the day. Hope you have a great time bowling with the grandies. Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted June 7, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 7, 2010 Hope this pic comes through.Sorry..........it was a pic of our house, ...but somethings went wrong. Grrrrrr:X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members summergirl Posted June 7, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 7, 2010 Trudi - love the invite and I will be there virtually also.....please set an alley for Dee and I as I also need bumpers or I end up in the wrong lane !!!Greg - so nice to see Brian's smiling face.Lorri - love the hot pink shorts !! Great going Kody - whoo hoo..Another baseball game tonight...Tavian made 2 outs on first base, 2 outs at home and hit 3 home runs.....that boy is defintely a baseball guy. I told the coach he may not be at the game Friday nite as we are thinking of going to Gin Beach camping and it is too much of a drive to come all the way back to East Hampton...His coach said "no way, we need Tavian, he is our best guy so try to work something out" - I felt so bad but Barry said maybe he would bring him in, we will see what happens.Peace, love and strength, Kathy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members briansdad Posted June 7, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 7, 2010 Alyssa hits the big time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mikesmum Posted June 7, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 7, 2010 No mistaking that baby girl - Brian all the way, with a bit of grandpa (fishing) thrown in. Last time I bowled I was about 10 (OMG that's 45yrs ago)!! It was a Saturday, I know cause we did ball room dance in the morning and then bowling in the arvo. (I heard those snickers....sure being 5' X 5', with glasses and a page boy hair cut didn't actually conjure pics of Ginger Rogers, but it was part of what my parents thought might help me socially!!)They now have bumpers on the side and a this amazing stand that you put your ball on top of and roll it down the lanes.Minding the heir apparent (Mals Grandbaby) this afternoon while grandad snoozes. He was out all night at a local house fire.....something about saving lives tires him out somewhat..It still cooooolllllldddd here , buth then with you guys having all the sunshine I guess its to be expected.The tornadoes are getting news coverage here, just after the BP oil debarcle. Hope you all are safe.....Trudi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mikesmomrs Posted June 7, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 7, 2010 Brian is surely smiling and a very proud papa over this picture! So cute! Thanks for sharing...a day-brightener for sure...Talked with the granddaughters tonight...the oldest, Rebekah, 13 1/2, is going with a selected group of kids from school who have been in college extra-curricular courses this last semester, to "tour" college campuses for the next three days...they will stay at the campus and then wind up at an amusement park of which I cannot remember the name, no matter how hard I try, and I know it like I know my own! Empty brain tonight. Anyway, Bekah is so excited about it...her first time away from home, other than being here. Rachel is super excited about her garden...she plants one every year, and this year is the "best ever." She weeds every day after school, tends to it like a baby. She just loves it all. I hope they get to come up here this summer for a couple of weeks. Will have to see how things work out with their papa.Speaking of...feeling so apprehensive these last couple of days...trying so hard to think of anything but...Ralph is okay one minute, face falling down the next...Today I walked out to the mailbox and sunshine emmanated from it as I opened the door...a beautiful card from the other side of the world...sending out love and support to both of us...thank you so much, Trudi, you are such a a friend, such a shining jewel in the dark thoughts that swirl through our minds while waiting, waiting... Of course, all of you here on BI are so very much appreciated...you all have been so forthcoming in your words, reaching out...we thank you all so very much. I hate to keep bringing it up, it is such a downer of a conversation starter, for sure. Hopefully, we will have some definite information and a plan this week, come Wednesday, when we meet with the doctor again. As I mentioned before, all of this has brought so much to the forefront about memories of dealing with this with Mike...the apprehension is there, the reminders that tear at our heart, rip at our soul...taking all of our strength some times...this SUCKS! I'm sorry...I think it's just that the time is drawing nearer when we have to truly face this and not keep pushing it to the background. I am rambling...thanks for listening...thank you all, so very, very much.love and peace, carol mikesmomrs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lolynbo Posted June 7, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 7, 2010 JUST DOWNLOADED THE MUSIC FOR KOURTNEYS BUTTERFLY RELEASE AND ANGELVERSARY HAD ME A LIL MELT DOWN..IF YOU WANT TO GOOGLE THE SONGS AND LISTEN MAYBE YAL WOULD FEEL THE SAME AND COULD USE THEM1ST SONG- LEGACYNavigation: N \ Nichole Nordeman \ LegacyI don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me And I enjoy an accolade like the rest You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl' But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides The temporary trappings of this world I want to leave a legacy How will they remember me? Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough To make a mark on things? I want to leave an offering A child of mercy and grace whoblessed your name unapologetically And leave that kind of legacy I don't have to look too far or too long awhile To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one... 2ND SONG SAFE A PLACE FOR ME: MATHEW WESTDon't be madIf I cryIt just hurts so bad, sometimes'Cause everyday it's sinking inAnd I have to say goodbye all over againYou know I bet it feels good to have the weight of this world off your shoulders nowI'm dreaming of the day when I'm finally there with you(Chorus) Save a place for meSave a place for meI'll be there soonI'll be there soonSave a place for meSave some grace for meI'll be there soonI'll be there soonI have asked the questions whyBut I guess the answers for another timeSo instead I pray, with every tearAnd be thankful for the time I had you here(Chorus)I wanna live my life Just like you didMake the most of my time Just like you didAnd I want to make my home up in the sky Just like you didOh, but until I get there...Until I get there...SONG #3 BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL: Francesca BattistelliDon’t know how it is You looked at meAnd saw the person that I could beAwakening my heartBreaking through the darkSuddenly Your grace(Chorus)Like sunlight burning at midnightMaking my life something soBeautiful, beautifulMercy reaching to save meAll that I needYou are soBeautiful, beautifulNow there’s a joy inside I can’t containBut even perfect days can end in rainAnd though it’s pouring downI see You through the cloudsShining on my face(Chorus)I have come undoneBut I have just begunChanging by Your grace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mikesmum Posted June 7, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 7, 2010 [align=center]Congratulations Miss Melissa Anne Hendrie.[/align][align=center]Graduating Nursing with Distinctions and High Distinctions [/align][align=center]Class of 2010!!!!!!!!!![/align][align=center] [/align] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shorty16 Posted June 8, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 8, 2010 My dear indigo friends,Why is it that leading up to an angelversary is also very hard. I made the mistake of attending a family gathering Sunday for my neices graduation. I was a basket-case b^t*h. I could not function, I cried the entire time, what a downer I was. My heart is broken and I cannot fit the pieces back together very well. I thought I was doing OK!?!I do have so much to be thankful for, but the death of Brian has placed a layer of ash over all of it.I need to get my head together - any suggestions??Colleen, missing my boy Brian more than words can say Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mikesmum Posted June 8, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 8, 2010 My dear friend Colleen - you have a ticket on the longest running roller coaster of emotion with no warnings on how you might best handle some of the twists and turns.Our minds take our hearts to places where we think of our children and how much these events are/were part of them. Words fail, tears fall and we feel we are 'insanely failing'. I know this so well. Every family thing highlights my broken link. Almost 4 years on and I still have those triggers. Granted not as intense, but they are still there.My mind went with Mike. Kelly & Steven asked me to make my 'special delicious' sandwiches for there house warming. Funny, don't remember making them or what I put in them. Apparently I made them the morning of the engagement party - Melissa was here, we did them together...then I made more that afternoon. There were so many. I think my focus was 'Mike won't be there'.From the first day you posted, to seeing you last year and then throughout this year you have honoured your boy, supported so many new to this journey and shared your hopes for AJ and Michelle. Allow yourself to grieve publicly for Brian, it is part of who we are. Kathy - I remember the first time I smiled - I immediately felt I had betrayed Micheal. How could I enjoy anything with him gone. Even these past days when I have felt 'better' than I have in some time, I still feel a pang of feeling I'm betraying him and his memory - truth be told, I really don't think any of our children would want us to live with a binding sadness. Off in the am (it almost midnight here now) to have breakfast with my daughter...and yes Micheal not seeing his graduate nursing brings me to tears, but she will only see my pride in her achievements - Micheal would want that for her and I guess for me....Trudi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members briansdad Posted June 8, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 8, 2010 [user=20150]shorty16[/user] wrote: I need to get my head together - any suggestions??Hey Colleen it's really hard to suggest anything.I know when I was to do Brian's eulogy I was able to do it by thinking of all the funny things we did together.I also prayed alot. You shouldn't feel bad about crying because your just not ready to do those things.Who knows, you may never be, but that doesn't make you a bad person.Greg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted June 8, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 8, 2010 Col, it is what is normal now, to feel the tension, the anxiety, the loss of ONE SO GRAND is almost all you can feel as you inch your way toward the dates. It is, I think, inevitable. I think you have done an amazing job of finding balance in your life and helping your household feel that balance as well. Coming undone at a family affair is just what happens sometimes and it does not at all mean that you are not doing well. You are heading toward a date in time that changed everyone's lives. Understand that in that, you have faced each obstacle. Facing the dates are the hardest. Sherry and I go through the quiet depressed sense of things this many years later as we approach our Childrens' dates. I do believe that that is normal, new normal. I understand the feeling of betraying our Kids when we go out and have fun, but I don't think I have been affected too much that way. Perhaps in the very beginning, but not much as ERi's message was always to laugh, laugh, laugh, and growing up as we did, under the threat of our father's ugliness, we learned early on to laugh when possible as there is plenty of time for the tears and the sadness. Take joy as it swiftly enters, take it and own it, and put it in your heart so that it too can be a part of you. In an old poem I will look for later, I spoke about how my grief is nested right next door to my joy, they live there in me shaping who I am and who I am becoming. We are never just stagnant, we change and grow, sometimes we need to take a look at our branches and see if we like the direction, sometimes we can alter the direction and grow toward the sun. I think being with my former students the other day have helped me to look closely at my direction, i think some of me was getting stale, not reaching for the sun, they reminded me of some of the things we enjoyed together that first year after Eri died. And so for Eri, for the kids, and for myself, I will take stock and do my best to live it well. I know, KNOW that Erica is most honored that way.Lor, the songs are lovely adn melting down inevitable. Let it out, cause there is no way around it, only through it.Trudi, give Melissa a big old hug from her virtual auntie. Tell her how proud I am of her, and I know that her Bro is as well. He would indeed want you to feel the amazing wonderment of MElissa's graduation, but I do believe he understands your feeling the bitter with the sweet. He is there however, he is there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shorty16 Posted June 8, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 8, 2010 I know I am going down that dead-end road again. "What would Brian look like? What would he be doing?I need to get back on the road of life, but WOW, is that hard.I went to a Rememberance Ceremony on Saturday for families and friends of victims of homicide. 6 families were there, 3 lost loved ones through domestic violence. There were 2 others from accidents (snowmobile/car(Brian) and one from an overdose. Many of these families had to endure the court systems.They had live Monarch Butterflies that we whispered a wish to and let go. TOO COOL. I took one home to my kids so they could make a wish and set free. Michelle and AJ were very upset that a live butterfly was kept captive in this little box. It was kinda funny; all 3 of my kids are animal lovers.It always makes me feel better to come here and tell my friends how I feel. 2 years since I saw Brian's face, heard his voice and kissed his cheek. No parent should have to endure this.Colleen, trying to get a grip on reality Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rlolheiser Posted June 8, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 8, 2010 Coleen, I think your doing fine with reality. You have faced so much these past years, and you keep going on. You work at becoming you, you have lost the most precious gift given to us, yet you continue to do things for yourself, your children.. for others. I think it is ok to meltdown once in awhile.. maybe even often.. it just all depends on where your heart is at the time. I know I am coming up on 4 years, and the sting sometimes is as fresh as the first day. I've watched you throughout the months, and you have gained so much insight just in the time I have been here. I think your amazing and I know ALL of your children feel the same.. I know also I am a better person for getting to know you through all your posts, the happy and the sad ones..(hugs)Leah/JaBoa's grandma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Kelly Posted June 8, 2010 Administrators Report Share Posted June 8, 2010 June 07, 2010 Dear Members, We’re excited to inform you that we’re moving to a new and improved message board at the end of this week. It may seem a little bit sudden, but we recently learned that the company that designed our current board is no longer in existence. Our new message board will offer enhanced profile capabilities and chat rooms with up to 20 people at a time (and more if we need it). All of your old posts and private messages will be migrated to our new message board. You may need to re-post your profile picture. Our new message board will feature: Custom profile fieldsProfile page customization with optional background colors, images, and tiling optionsFacebook and Twitter integrationMultiple post responses via “mini-quotes”Pinned discussion threads Targeted board announcements (for entire board or certain sections)Comprehensive search options enabling users to easily find all content created by a particular member (by clicking “Find Content” on the main profile page, or in the “Mini Profile” pop-up which can be accessed throughout the board) Enhanced privacy options that allow users to sign in anonymously, be hidden from the online users list, disable personal conversations, and deny user-to-user emails You can access the new message board by visiting www.grieving.com or www.beyondindigo.com. Grieving.com is still 100% a part of Beyond Indigo; we just created a new Web address for Search Engine Optimization (SEO) purposes. We’ll do our best to redirect all existing URL’s to our new board, but if you have difficulty accessing them, just remember to visit www.grieving.com or www.beyondindigo.com to find your message board thread. We’ll of course try to make this transition as seamless as possible. Our new board will seamlessly enable us to grow our community and provide you with even more ways to interact with one other, and for that we’re very grateful. Please feel free to email feedback@beyondindigo.com with any questions, and thank you for being a part of the Beyond Indigo online community. Kelly Baltzell, MAPresident/CEO, Beyond Indigo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members summergirl Posted June 8, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 8, 2010 OMG - a new and improved message board.....I am scared....I do not like change too much but I guess I will have to go with the flow..Colleen - what can I say that hasn't already been said. You can meltdown, be a crazy bitch, be angry, be sad, you can smile and laugh, you can enjoy your children, you can do whatever you want or need to do at the moment......losing a child is the hardest thing we will ever do so we are allowed to be whoever we need to be at any given moment. Love to youLorri - love the songs....perfectTrudi - congratulations to Melissa...I am so excited for all of you and I know Micheal is smiling and doing the dance....Greg - Alyssa is just adorable, my goodness she looks just like her daddy. Tavian was quite impressed by the size of that fish Carol - you are never a downer here, never ever apologize here, remember???? What you and Ralph are going through is more than anyone should have to go through and the memories that are being brought to the front of your mind lends to the saddness. I am praying for you both and I know that all our Angels are holding hands, making a circle of strength for both of you.I too want to scream, I miss my Jessica so much......funny how different seasons bring different memories to mind....summer was Jessica's favorite time of year, the beach, the sun, the blue skies, everything about it she loved......it hurts my heart that she is not here.....but I feel her closeness and see her every day in that boy Tavian.....Love, peace and strength to all...Kathy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted June 8, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 8, 2010 I echo all of Kathy's words and emotions here. Carol, apologize for what? For doing what we all do here, which is to communicate and share what the world is like on any given day. Never stop doing that please.Greg, your Grandgirl is a beauty, a really pretty person, her goodness shining through her. Is that a real cover or did you make that using her photo?Love to Everyone here,I too am worried about a new and improved site. I don't even remember how I got the image of Erica over to be my avatar.Loveya,dee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members briansdad Posted June 8, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 8, 2010 [user=7435]ericasmom[/user] wrote: Greg, your Grandgirl is a beauty, a really pretty person, her goodness shining through her. Is that a real cover or did you make that using her photo?I got the picture at our local Bass Pro Shop.They had a kids day and had all sorts of free activities.The picture was just one of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mikesmomrs Posted June 8, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 8, 2010 Lorri: the songs are awesome...so perfect. Colleen: I reiterate what everyone else has said...you are doing the best you can...some days you can smile, and some days and for some reasons, the tears will come and not be put off. Family/friends gatherings, celebrations, can be terribly hard, especially knowing that your child should be here, enjoying this, growing with these others...my heart goes out to you. When do you go on your trip with AJ?Trudi: Give our congratulations to your wonderful Melissa...she deserves every accolade, every hug...Micheal will be there with you all...so proud, as you all are. I am so happy for all of you. Dee: I loved what you said about how being with Eri's friends has given you a sense of direction again...their memories and laughter shared went right to your heart. Yes, Kathy, you definitely have Jessica with you there, in her Tavian...he is such a gift, such a wonderful gift. Tomorrow we head out to the hospital for the meeting with the doctor to discuss all the results, and discussions they had last week over them. Sleep is, understandably, ellusive tonight... just trying to keep busy, trying to keep my brain on "off." Worked in the yard today---Davis helped me put in a circle of plants around the big maple tree in front of the house...good hard work, good results, tired muscles; perhaps I will fall asleep after all... he's been asleep since 7:00! Ah, youth!Marcia, Bonnie, Betsy, Betty...you all doing okay?love and peace to all my Indigo friends---I am so grateful for all of you.Carol mikesmomrs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shorty16 Posted June 9, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 9, 2010 Greg, your Grandbaby is lucky to have such an involved and caring Grandpa like you.I bet you see glimpses of your Brian in the things she does!?She is a lucky girlColleen, Brian's Mother Forever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Posted June 9, 2010 Guests Report Share Posted June 9, 2010 Greg - So nice to see your Brian's face again. I enjoyed seeing the picture of your granddaughter and her catch for the day! Colleen - Sending hugs to you.Carol - Keeping you and Ralph in my thoughts and prayers.Trudi - Wow! Way to go, Melissa!! Yesterday I signed Stephanie's children up for a kid's grief camp this week. It's a two day event held from 9-3, sponsored by Hospice. The woman directing it is full of energy and fun. The kids are so excited. They also begin Vacation bible school next week. Yesterday I also signed them up for roller skating this summer. They were getting bored with their bikes and with all their energy, we had to do something! Betty - You are in my thoughts. I hope you are well.Susannah/Stephanie's mom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shorty16 Posted June 9, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 9, 2010 Kathy, Where you there at my family gathering? You described me perfectly "Crazy B!t*h"I feel better today. I do need to control myself better. Sitting in the truck and crying the entire time was a little much, but if I could have controlled it, I would have.This grief journey is a roller-coaster ride. I was so proud of myself, because I was doing so well - and than WHAM!Thank you my friends - it is OK to slip into the abyss, just cannot stay there.Colleen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lolynbo Posted June 9, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 9, 2010 I NO SINCE I LOST KOURTNEY LIL THINGS OF WHAT OTHER PPL WORRY ABOUT SEEM SO STUPID...BUT OUR RACE TRACK WHERE KODY RACES HAS CLOSED.....THIS BOY HAS BEEN THRU TO MUCH AND LOOKS FWD TO RACING...AND IT KEEPS HIM POSITIVE IN LIFE..IF YOU WOULD PLEASE PRAY FOR OUR TRACK TO REOPEN WITH SOME DEEP POCKETS...SO THE KIDS /MEN/ FAMILIES HAVVE SOEMTHING TO DO IN THIS TOWN BESIDES DRUGS..THIS IS WHAT MY SON WROTE ON THIS RACE TRACKS PAGE...MADE ME CRY..well i cant believe that LCS is closed...hopefully sumone can get the track and really stick with it....i really hate for this to happen i have been goin to LCS since i was 6 and absolutly fell in love with racing and im glad to say that i raced at LCS i think it was one of the best race tracks...thanks cameron for all you did this year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted June 9, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 9, 2010 Colleen---I so know what you mean about the days/wks leading up tothe Angel Day. It is harrowing and painful, and as you say......one asksso many of the 'what if' questions. We seem to cry cry cry, as you didafter the graduation. Something about other's 'events' such as graduations,weddings, even births of new babies that can open up a floodgate ofemotions and reduce us to a heap.......mourning and full of sorrow. I guesswe just have to hang on for a bit of sunshine. Sending prayers your way, friend. I had this experience recently......I was eating at a fast food place, alone, not long ago. Two women....were in the booth behind me, and I could overhear their conversation which was mostly lighthearted blab. Then they got onto the subject of "Jane", and one of them said " I just wish Jane would quit talking about herkid......it makes me so uncomfortable.....she goes on & on. I mean....we know her son died, but who wants to hear about it. It's been nearly a year. I mean....give itup----move on already". The other woman agreed with her. After that, Ibegan thinking about that conversation, and started to wonder if any people Iknow are saying that about me.? Only goes to show why I just keep to myselfanymore. I declined a wedding invitation (distant relative) recently.......not up toall that jolly celebration stuff right now. This lousy road we're on is so rough. Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lolynbo Posted June 9, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 9, 2010 I'm so angry......I was eating at a fast food place, alone, not long ago. Twowomen....were in the booth behind me, and I could overhear their conversationwhich was mostly lighthearted blab. Then they got onto the subject of "Jane"and one of them said " I just wish Jane would quit talking about her son......itmakes me so uncomfortable.....she goes on & on. I mean....we know her sondied, but who wants to hear about it. It's been nearly a year. I mean....give itup----move on already". The other woman agreed with her. After that, Ibegan thinking about that conversation, and started to wonder if any people Iknow are saying that about me.? Only goes to show why I just keep to myselfanymore. I declined a wedding invitation (distant relative) recently.......actuallya relative OF a distant relative. This is the roller coaster we're on, I guess. MY WOULDNT THE SHOE BE ON THE OTHER FOOT IF IT WAS THEM??? WHY ARE PPL SO STUPID....IF ANYONE THINKS THAT OF ME THEN FFFFFFFFFFFFFF THEM....."WE WILL TALK AND SHOUT AND SING ABOUT OUR BABIES TIL WE ARE WITH THEM AGAIN AND IF YOU DONT LIKE IT DROP DEAD" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lolynbo Posted June 9, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 9, 2010 DID I SHARE THIS WITH YAL??? REGAN KOURTNEYS NURSE THAT WROTE THE ARTICAL...GOT A TATTOO...HERE IT IS.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 4everjoeysmom Posted June 9, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 9, 2010 Oh Geez, I already haven't been posting as much these days...a phase, I think....and now they're changing up the boards to a whole new designs and such. That motivates me....NOT!!! Ugh...Carol, thinking of you and Ralph, and praying, hoping, waiting. Love & Hugs!!! ~Claudia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted June 9, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 9, 2010 Claudia---Good to see Joey's smile. Yes, sometimes we need to take afew steps back, and rest from posting. I, too, hope I'll be able to navigate the new format here at BI. Yikes!!! I'm not that computersavvy, so I'll just have to 'bumble' my way along with it. I hope it has somegood improvements on the format.Lorri---Nice tat that Kourtney's nurse had done.PEACE & TRANQUILITY TO ALL IN THE BI FAMILY. Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted June 9, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 9, 2010 Sherry, that talk in the next booth would probably spur me to my feet to give a short lecture about what they are doing to their friend. I do not behave in public places when I am aware of bad behavior or bad vibes.How is your garden growing Sherry? I bet it is lovely.Carol, prayers for you adn Ralph. Fingers are crossed as well. Keep us posted.I finished cleaning my classroom today, did not want to be indoors, so pretty out, but time frames needed to be respected and now I am finally done. I do have a lot of stuff. I also met with my teacher friend with whom I will co-teach a writing class next week to other teachers. SO it has been a busy day all on top of not feeling well for several days. I went to the doctor and have a sinus infection. Glad I went, started meds. Jonathan went tot he same doc today adn he has walking Pnemonia. My boss has that as well, and many from the school are sick. Now we are on the road to recovery. I agree Claudia, I have been here a bit less, just being quiet and getting my chores done but the change part makes me bristle.See you all later, going to make some gentle meal, oatmeal perhaps.love,dee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mikesmomrs Posted June 9, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 9, 2010 Yes, Claudia...nice to see Joey's smile again..Dee: I think that you are the only person in the world (besides my oldest sister, Dorothy), who can and would use the words "my bad behavior" and "lovely" in the same paragraph! I love it! and you!Well, after a very long, very emotional day, it looks like there will be one less kidney in this household within the next month or so. After all the discussion and reviews, it has been decided that even though we don't know for 100% sure that there is cancer there, it seems to be very, very likely that there is, and the only thing they can do to ensure that if it is there it won't spread, is to take it out, and the kidney must come with it because of its (the tumor) location. Of course, there is a lot more to do before this happens...they want to do another scan to compare it with the last scan, done on 4 April. They also want to do another chest scan to see if the lesions they saw in around the lungs have changed. They do think these are just scar tissue from many bouts of bronchitis and a couple of with pneumonia, so they are not concerned, but just being cautious. They are going to attempt the removal laparoscopically, but there is the chance they will have to complete it the normal way and they won't know this until they are "in there." Meantime, we have heard of a procedure done with a robotic radiation machine, called a Cyberknife, which despite its name, is not a knife, but a series of many, many radiation beams, that are more precise than any other on any other machine, and has been used to reduce and remove tumors, anywhere from the brain to just about any other part of the body. We are going to call the hospital (it is in Boston) tomorrow and see about setting up an interview, just to explore it and see what kind of data they have on the follow ups of ones they've already done. Hopefully, we will get an interview asap, as they are scheduling the additional scan for a week or so from now. I truly appreciate all of your thoughts and support...I don't know where I would be without all of you. I wish you all a peace-filled evening, and a good day tomorrow. I too am not anticipating the changes to BI...I am not a person who likes change either, especially when it is to something that I finally have a reasonable handle on! However, hopefully, as Kelly said, it will be "seamless" and things will go on as before, overall. love and peace, carol mikesmomrs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shorty16 Posted June 9, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 9, 2010 Carol,I am Thinking of you and Ralph as he goes through the medical system and this pending surgery.Our angels will be all around you giving you hugs and support.Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members summergirl Posted June 9, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 9, 2010 Colleen - yes, I was there with you at the family reunion..know exactly how you feel Sherry - I am so sorry that you had to over hear such a horrid conversation by 2 complete "stupid people"....you are better than I as I would have stood up and turned to them, showed them a pic of my Jessica and then the "crazy bitch" would have emerged from behind the mask I usually wear.....I do not wish our journey on anyone but sometimes I would like people like that to just "feel the pain" for just one day....that would cure their stupidity.......Suz - I am glad the kids are going to "Grief Camp"...there is one here on Shelter Island....I was asked to send Tavian but he would not go, he was just 4 and it was just a few months after Jessica had left us...there are many great counsellors as I have talked to a few....it is a blessing for the children. Roller skating----have not done that since I was in high school, I used to love it, we would go every Friday night. You are doing a great job my friend.Carol...prayers with you and Ralph as always....Lorri - so sorry for Kody, seems like they always take the good things away :XThere is a song out by Miranda Lambert that I love...here is part of the songIF I COULD TOUCH THIS PLACE OR FEEL IT THE BROKENESS INSIDE ME MIGHT START HEALING OUT HERE IT'S LIKE I'M SOMEONE ELSE THOUGHT MAYBE I COULD FIND MYSELF. IF I COULD JUST COME IN, I SWEAR I'LL LEAVE I WON'T TAKE ANYTHING BUT A MEMORY.Every time I hear those words I think "If i could just go to Heaven and touch or feel it then maybe the brokeness inside me might start healing, Down here it's like i'm someone else and thought maybe I could find myself, if I could just go to Heaven and see it I swear I would leave and take nothing but a memory" Does that make sense to anyone ?????Time for Tavian to go to bed so I will say good night my friends. Love, peace and strength, Kathy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lolynbo Posted June 9, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 9, 2010 Every time I hear those words I think "If i could just go to Heaven and touch or feel it then maybe the brokeness inside me might start healing, Down here it's like i'm someone else and thought maybe I could find myself, if I could just go to Heaven and see it I swear I would leave and take nothing but a memory" Does that make sense to anyone ?????MAKES PERFECT SENCE...IF WE JUST HAVE 2 MINUTES WITH THEM.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted June 9, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 9, 2010 Pretty lyrics Kathy, and they certainly sound like words that come from one who has grieved or is grieving. I remember your talking about the grief camp for kids when you first came here. Look at Mr. Tav now. He is finding his way with the complete support of two that love him so very much. Same with you Susannah, your three learning to find themselves in a new day and accepting it, feeling safe in it, and now, thriving in it. These are the changes that truly make angels dance.Carol, you make me giggle. I reread my post and began to laugh. I am a random one...I am glad that a decision has been made as to Ralph's kidney. I continue to pray and hope for the very best outcome and the most efficient kind of surgery. My love rides along to Boston with you. What hospital?Lor, that stinks about the race track. I sure wish that there was a way to make it work for all the folks that use it. It sure does beat kids sitting around waiting for something to happen, a purpose and something to strive for are far healthier ways to spend time. I will send positive vibes your way.Love to All, Marcia, Bonnie, Trudi, Deneace, Mary, Kay, Leah, Cindy, Rosie, Scott...and so many Moms and some Dads that we don't hear from very often. Just wishing you some goodness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rlolheiser Posted June 10, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 10, 2010 Carol, I just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and your husband. I know this isn't an easy time. I hope and pray that everything goes alright, I pray that you and your husband keep up your strength and your positive outlook. Always remember that there are a lot of people that care about you, even though we don't say it enoughSherry, I don't think I would have been quiet with the conversation going on behind you. I have developed a big mouth and speak out at people even when I shouldn't. I have had people tell me from time to time to get over JaBoa's passing, but I tell them to get over my tears. I miss my girl, and from time to time.. I have to tell people how much.Dee, I am glad you got on some meds before you became to sick, I think that the summertime bugs we catch are worse than the winter ones, they seem to hold on tight.Nothing new around here. I am trying to be positive. Still dieting.. 35 lbs is it so far. I wish it were more, but I haven't put anything back on. I know my angel is helping me through this time. Everytime I open the cupboard or fridge, she tells me to stop. I lmost wish I could break it, but I feel to guilty.. guess that is a good thing :-)Hoping everybody is doing well... my thoughts are with you all.Leah/JaBoa's grandma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted June 10, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 10, 2010 Beth, you must at times feel like saying I quit! but I am so glad that you feel committed to finding better health. Thirty five is great, adn you have hit a plateau. May it be a good day.Beth how are you these days?Sweet morning all,dee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Posted June 10, 2010 Guests Report Share Posted June 10, 2010 My mind is befoggled still this morning. If I leave anyone out, it is not my intention.Carol - This all just sucks for you and Ralph and your family! It sucks. Period. I'll keep ya'll in my thoughts and prayers. I'm also going to throw a rock or something and let God know it sucks. Just in case he doesn't know.Dee - I hope you and your family get feeling better. Sherry - Just the other day one of my dearest, sweetest, kindest and compassionate friends and I were talking about a friend who died a couple of years ago. She had quoted something he used to say. This man's only son and only child died of a drug overdose about 25 years ago and he made reference to it frequently. I told my friend that his words turned out to be a surprising source of comfort after Steph died. She said something to the effect, "let's just hope you still aren't talking about it in 20 years." My response surprised even me. Possibly because I know my friend would never, purposefully, hurt me. I just smiled and said, "Oh, I'm sure I will be. And, thanks to "Bob" I know it's okay.""God forgive the stupid people; for they know not that they're stupid."Well, I still know how to rollerskate. It's been years since I've skated, but I did it. Without falling, too! But, boy are my hips and knees making me aware of the intrusion on their rusted joints this morning!Gotta get the kids up and moving for grief camp today. That's sounds so funny. That's exactly how the kids say it, too. "Grief camp". Mariah requested tuna fish for breakfast this morning. Why not?Oh. Lorri...love the tatoo!Susannah/Stephanie's mom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shorty16 Posted June 10, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 10, 2010 SusannahWe will all be talking about our children 20 years from now. I honestly believe that it makes other people uncomfortable when we talk about our children who have died.I love you bolded quote.Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted June 10, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 10, 2010 Good grief, as Charlie used to say.My first Halloween without Eri, I dressed as Charlie Brown, with the yellow shirt and black zig-zag, and shorts, and cut up a sheet with too many holes as he did on Halloween. I had a bag filled with rocks as he did. I have to dress up because we have a parade at school. But I thought it appropo to be representing someone who said, "Good grief." Grief camp will hopefully be "good-grief" that goodness will come from sharing their experience with other Kids and from there, new connections and ways to cope. How nice. Mariah sounds like Eri as far as breakfast. Eri adn Jon hated breakfast, couldn't eat or didn't think that they were hungry in the morn, same as their Dad. So Eri would request beef barley soup for breakfast, or spaghetti, or turkey sandwiches. Fine with me, protein is the way to go anyhow. Tuna is all protein. IF we followed our true appetite, as children would (if we took out all the junk stufff) they would eat a balanced diet. We interrupt what the body needs and wants with all the junk and easy to grab foods. Speaking of breakfast, when I am home from school, I forget to eat breakfast early, opting for sitting in the garden adn writing in my journal. I was just sitting there being amazed by the blossoms and the bees. I wrote in my journal that the bees are the size of a child's thumb, fat and dutiful. They are huge and they are dancing showing the others where to get the best meal. In bloom right now are:coreopsisyellow and orange day liliesplain orange day (ditch) liliespale yellow asiatic lilieslavenderspider-wort purple and pinkclematis- purple and burgandybuttercupsperennial salvialoostrifespeedwellhoneysuckleprimroseall roses-4 varietygeranium-perennial pink and whiteguara-white adn pinkyarrow- tall yellow and whitesea-holly(lavender/silver)And a bunch of stuff I am forgetting. You can imagine the bees purpose. The hummingbird zipped in for a moment, hopefully will become accustomed to our being out there and make longer visits. Drangonflies are all over today as are two variety of butterfly- white with black dot and black and orange, maybe a viceroy.So I am off to eat something, and back to the yard after a walk or bike ride. AHHH, I am relaxed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shorty16 Posted June 10, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 10, 2010 LorriMy daughter has an urn necklace with two wings coming together. I filled it with some of Brian's ashes and she wears it everyday.I will have to show her this tatoo - she will love it.Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted June 10, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 10, 2010 Lorr, what a great woman to have that tattoo. Super. Col, love the idea of an urn necklace. Always close.Dee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mikesmomrs Posted June 10, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 10, 2010 Colleen: Your daughter's urn sounds beautiful...I have seen a picture of the tattoo that Kourtney's nurse, Regan, has...it is really pretty. Mike's sister Cathi has an urn she wears also, but it is more like an acorn shape. My urn is a cross, and I have one that is a baseball...of course! I always wear that one when we go to a game. Dee: I hope you and your family are better soon...we have rainy, cool weather today...perhaps your beautiful sounding sunshine will send some healing vitamin C to all of you...your garden sounds delightful...I don't know if I could leave it once I sat down... Some of the flowers you mentioned (all of which I love) I had at our hold house---spider wort, coreopsis, lavender, orange daylilies---I also had bee balm (love the smell), balloon flower, peonies, iris and some I forget, but had to scale back quite a bit when we moved here...though I may take the area beside the house next year and plant a flower garden there, as I really miss them. I have flowers out front, but they are limited...perennial daisies (I carried daisies at my wedding), hydrangea, bleeding hearts (such a short blooming season, but I love them), queen's lace, and for now, til I plant more perennials, some annuals filling in...red dianthus (your suggestion--thank you), pansies, geraniums, some blue fower that I can't remember the name of...a huge planter of mandevilla, (I think I posted a pic last year of the one I had then). Anyway, I just love them all...wish I had a huge area, I think I would just throw seeds out there! Sherry: You could probably do this where you are! Sus: Your grandkids are just so wonderful! I love the stories you share...tuna for breakfast...as Dee said, "why not?" got to run...Cathi is just miserable with her back, so much so that she can't even drive to the doctor today, I am leaving to go pick her up...the meds aren't even touching the pain. by the way, when we were on our way home yesterday, we decided to stop to eat....we stopped at a restaurant that Mike loved, Johnson's Dairy Bar, (I have a pic of him and us there just a couple weeks before he was confined to bed), and as we pulled into the parking space, Ralph said "why are you parking here? why don't you go over there (closer)?" So, to appease him, I turned around and backed up, then pulled into the space in front of the place. Right in front of us was this: love and peace, carol mikesmomrs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shorty16 Posted June 10, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 10, 2010 DeeYou are soo smart when it comes to flowers?!?!?!I cannot even pronounce some of those names.Are these all in your yard? I cannot wait to see it when we come down in July for Erifest. Scott is also coming with me. Your husband is great and I know they will also have a great time, as we did.Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted June 10, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 10, 2010 And there you are with Mike sending you love in the way of heart shaped bouquets. Perfect.Oh I too love bee balm, have a field of it practically, but not as much as we once did, husband felt it took over too much, but they are yet to bloom. Glad hat some things are holding off so that we have color at ERi-fest, as so much that is blooming now is one month early. Next year you will be ready to do more planting, this year has had its own kind of needs. Blessings.Col, it will be good to see you and meet Scott. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members briansdad Posted June 10, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 10, 2010 Brian's baby girl Alyssa turned 11 yesterday. I hope she felt her Daddy with her.Greg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted June 10, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 10, 2010 HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIG BEAUTIFUL GIRL, ALYSSA. I have a feeling that Brian was right there with the Love of His Heart.peace out,dee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members summergirl Posted June 10, 2010 Members Report Share Posted June 10, 2010 Just stopping in quick to say hello - a very busy day at work.HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALYSSA......YOUR DAD IS SMILING AT HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE..Dee - love all your talk of bees and flowers....my goodness you know alot !! Suz - Good Grief camp will be wonderful for the kids...please keep me infomed on how they are doing.Carol - love the heart shaped flowers....signs are so dear to the heart...To all....love you....peace, love and strength, Kathy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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