Loss of an Adult Child

[summergirl]

Anni - I got to read your post just now and it was powerful. I pray that all went well today.....hugs and prayers to you. My Jessica was just 26 too, as your Nicole and also left behind a son, Tavian.....

Dee - hope you are feeling better. I know it took me about 3 weeks to feel better, I do not have to tell you to take care of yourself as I know you will.

Marcia - how wonderful to see Bethany's beautiful face....miss you.

Sus - hope the birthday went well for the "BIG 9 YEAR OLD" .... don't you just love the things they say every now and then??  Takes your breath away.

Carol - how are things going with Cathi??  Praying and thinking of you all.

A wonderful day today with Tavian....we bought him a new bat yesterday and took him to the school today to practice with it....he was great and it is so good to see my husband with so much energy   We actually laughed out loud and had such a nice time. Then home and a playdate over for Tavian. Barry and I worked in the yard and then tonight had a fire and the boys roasted marshmallows.  A day like today seem to far and in between but I cherish them when they come around....

Many thoughts of my Jessica today but happy ones with a bit of saddness mixed in.

Love, prayers and Peace to all Indigo's, Kathy

[summergirl]

flying high.

[ericasmom]

Phew, does that mean that Cathi, who by the way looks a lot like her MUM, is fine? Is she home and well and feeling good again?

Wow Tavian, jump Buddy. I certainly can't jump on one of those. Back in high school, we were made to do several tricks on the trampoline for our grade in gymnastics, and as I explained to my teacher, I really cannot do those things that others make look fun and easy, but I had to try if I wanted to pass my PE class. They needed extra spotters just to get me through the most basic jumps. I am very uncoordinated. I am glad Kathy, that you have had a nice day with your Boy.

I had a very quiet day, and while I did not nap, I did nothing strenuous. I moved through the day like a turtle might, slowly. I finally took a 2 mile walk to the store and back but at a regular rate of speed rather than power walking. It was beautiful in the later afternoon.

I don't think I commented the other day on Lorri with Kim and Kourtney. So pretty, all three of you. Very distinctive smiles on you three. Hope the night was good to Kody. HOw is Kimmy doing with the loss of her pup? Is she soon to travel?

thanks Sherry,I will continue to take things easy and play it all by ear as the weekend goes along. Seems my neighbors had an upper respiratory bug this week adn I was with their two year old last weekend as he helped me plant the window boxes. And yes, the garden is where i can find myself when I am feeling fragmented. Today, the yellow or american gold finch were trilling in the river birch, and I walked through the garden to see what is next to bloom. Finally, after years of laying seeds, we have LUPINE. The cones are forming and the largest of them looks to be pink. I will eventually post photos of those. So many other blooms today, and so much growth. We have two tree-like plants called saltimbaca, and they have deep crimson leaves with sprays of buds where they flower. The flowers will be a light pink against the deep crimson. So gorgeous. And the indigo are blossoming too, as well as roses, iris, dianthus, and clematis, columbine, and daisies are about to pop. Speedwell too. Love it.

I pretty much fall in love each spring with the garden.

Peace out Gang,

dee

[4everjoeysmom]

Debbie, I like what you said about "not letting the loss and grief define you". xoxoxo

[Guest]

Good morning, Indigo's!

It's barely 7am here and Mariah is already out riding her new bike!  She is usually the last one awake, but this morning she was up, dressed, and waiting patiently on the couch for us to wake up so she could ride her bike.  Her dad did good with the bike he chose for her.  She is a happy little girl.  I will post a picture a bit later.

I love the pictures of Tavian, that you post, Kathy!  His happiness radiates through my monitor.

Carol - Is all well with your Cathi? 

Dee - Your flowers sound wonderfully beautiful!  I've decided not to plant flowers this year.  I may not even weed!  Instead I've begun feeding the birds and squirrels in my garden.  It makes my heart smile.

Debbie - Your words from experience are priceless.  It is so helpful for me to read and be encouraged from those who have had to walk this journey before me.  I agree that it's important not to be defined by our grief.  I am so much more than just Stephanie's mom.  So much more than just a mother whose child has died.  There have been many life changing events in my life that has helped mold me.  But, none more powerful than my child's untimely passing.  I questioned every belief, concept or opinion I have ever thought or held true.  My emotional, spiritual and physical self was put to the ultimate test.  Indeed, not just "was" but "is".  I've discovered the ultimate power of grief, itself.  And, in discovering that power, I've also discovered my own power and the power of my Creator.  Stephanie's death remains the most powerful, painful and difficult thing I've ever been asked to walk through.  It also remains the most spiritual.  At times it is the darkest of the dark and then a light shines through.....lighting the way, showing me a higher purpose.  I am forever changed.  My life will never be the same.  In some ways, I am softer, kinder more compassionate.  And, in others, I am less tolerant.  Time and events are now referred to as "before Stephanie died" and "after Stephanie died".  Anyway, that's my take on it right now.

Wishing you all a peaceful day,

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[shorty16]

Anni

The speach for your daughter's memorial is awesome.  I did not speak for Brian's service.  No-one but the pastor.  No one could talk, think, feel.  You are sooo strong in my eyes.

The only speach I did write was for the two boys involved with Brian's death and the judge.

I am thinking of you today and every day in your new journey non of us was to be on.

Give your family a big hug for me.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[shorty16]

Hello Indigo's

Susannah - Wishing Mariah a fun-time with her new bike.  Happy Brithday Mariah.

Dee - Sending good health your way.  Also praying for Chicago to settle down.  Violence is not the way.

Carol - Thinking of you as we watched the Brewers play 12 innings and loss. 

Debbie - You have a very healthy view on this grief.  Grief is our constance companion now.  I have learned since my almost 2 years on this journey, is that grief is like a disease.  I know what triggers it and I can avoid, sometimes.

Marcia - I saw all Claudia's pictures of you and Larry in Equador.  BEAUtiful.

Anni - Your memorial speach is sooo from the heart.  It will be 2 years for us 6-19-2010.  The pain does not seem as intense, but the missing has taken its place.

Trudi - My friend down-under.  Keeping you in my thoughts.  Still loving your Christmas present of the Australian Bird Calendar.

Kathy - Love the trampoline picture of Tavian.  We have one of Brian, but he is upside down.

Sherry - Always talked to others - you have so much wisdom to share.

Leah - you said "I really hope I can look at life that way more often"  You will, but it is alot of work.  Laughter and sunshine do not run down the stairs to us anymore.  We have to look for it.

Claudia - Marcia and Larry had a great time and your hostess skills are well polished.  I want to go with them the next time they come.

Lorri - it is never silly to look for signs of our children all around us.  Everytime I hear a Blue Jay or see a Great Blue Heron, I think of Brian.

Mary Anne - So good to see Brian's Face

Greg, Dan, Rodolfo  Thinking of the men in our BI lives - Without which we would have a very scewed view on life.

It is 78 and sunny at 9am in Wisconsin - Write this on your calendar!!!!

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

 

[momgran]

Good Sunday Morning friends!  A lovely day here in Toronto..warm balmy and the garden looking very mauve and blue and white at the moment!  I love how the different flowers come and go throughout the season.  Makes me aware that all things have their season, their time to bloom and give beauty and nourishment, to propogate and then to die and go back to the earth.

Leah:  Well I suppose I can compare the loss of a child to the loss of a grandchild as I lost both!  I helped raise little Kieran for 2 years before they left for South Africa, where Pippa was born and grew up.  When they left I believed I would be seeing them again soon but still experienced a wrenching loss as I felt my 'baby' was being taken away.  I loved my little Picke like my own! Although Pippa knew this would be difficult for me I had given her my blessing in her decision from day one as I know she had a great childhood in South Africa and her dad and stepmom still lived there.  They were due to come here for Christmas 2006 but died on Oct 22.  When I walked into their home in South Africa I saw the airline tickets sitting on her dresser in the kitchen.  Like all of us, I look back at that time as the worse nightmare of my life but I know I was still in a pretty bad state of shock as well!  I know that losing Kieran is definitely up there with the loss of my two children.  I lost my second son Andrew at 7 weeks old in 1975.   I hope and pray you and your daughter and her children reconnect one day.  How difficult this must be for you!

Carol:  I'm breathing a sigh of relief that Cathi is doing well!  I know that I just didn't want to go there when you posted the other night!  But now you are still dealing with all Ralph's issues so I pray that all goes well there.

Colleen:  I see the photo of your boy, Brian and my heart goes out to you! I realise I've been on her so little in the past year or so that I'm going to now get to know all of you newbies!  But it's been nearly two years for you! I get it about grief being like a disease!  For the first 18 months I felt as though I had 'Bereaved Mother' emblazoned on my forehead....I used to say I feel like a walking abcess!  And yes, we do have to get it in check when we allow it to interfere with our impressions of the world, life in general and our own purpose in life.

Claudia:  You are such a glowing example of taking your pain and turning it into a positive force! Giving as you do must help you realise how important your life is, despite losing your precious Joey.  What would all those people in your community do without you and your husband.  Hats off to you!  I think sometimes in our grief we forget we still have choices.  We can sometimes feel that we're at the mercy of fate.

Susannah:  I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Stepanie!  Such a gorgeous young woman and it was only 8 months ago.  You express yourself so well and I can't imagine how difficult it must be to see her children but at the same time it must give you comfort to know they are  extensions of your girl!  Your grief is a reminder of where I was in those early days and I can so identify with you thoughts and feelings.  We NEVER forget those awful days but thankfully, it does soften over time and life does take on a new 'normal' and it can be so very good.

Dee: Thanks again!  My sister commented on this photo that it's the first time she's seen a twinkle in my eye for a very long time!  Maggie had the power to put that sparkle back into my soul.  I'm so in love with that child   Good to see you managed your two mile walk after feeling so exhausted!  That was quite an achievement!

Kathy:  I'm so astonished at how Tavian has grown!  What a wonderful job you are doing with him...what a cutie pie!

Lorri:  Last year we had two fledgling mourning doves take up residence in our garden for the two weeks before they flew off to start their life.  And lo and behold, there were two more this spring!  I feel as though my babes send them to let me know that they are still with me and to say 'enjoy the summer, Mom/Grandma'!

Wishing you all Love Peace and Patience on this spring day.

Debbie

 

 

 

[ericasmom]

Debbie, for me a walk is a necessity as I tend to be on and off, hardly an in between, I must move, movement is key to my days. Always have been this way. I power walk almost every morn before work or ride my bike, I walk less powerfully at lunch 3-4 days per week and about 5 out of 7 evenings no matter the weather, I walk a gentle mile, just need the quiet that comes with a walk. Often those morning walks are when the plans that roll around come together to form concrete ideas that I can later put on paper for my class or for my poetry journal. I am a bit hyper in that I cannot sit down and do stuff till i exert a fair amount of energy. Yes, the gardens and the seasons help us to see the cycles in our lives, the incredible magic that exists in each life. Yesterday I used my binocs to really look closely at tiny things, tiny flying insects that have a purpose the gardens. Translucent wings and orange eyes, black legs with a tiny greenish-yellow body, just crawling on the leaves of plants before flying off. I wondered if his life was short like the dragonflies and butterflies. I find it amazing that these zillions of creatures that hatch each year know what their job is, know what to do without the nurture that so many other creatures are given. Programmed to their destiny. I am humbled by the wealth of creatures whose lives zip around each on their own mission as I find my direction on my many walks.

Col, love the words you used, that joy doesn't come running at you each morning, we must go out and find it. So true.  I am so sad and disappointed in the youth of C hicago right now. I know that it sucks to grow up in a crime ridden area, that it may be hard to understand a different way to live, but come on, shoot a guy in the head to take his new motorcycle as he was leaving his family's home after dinner. He was a police officer just returned from his second tour in Iraq...a war veteran, but dies after dinner at his parents home. The bastards that shot him have records of other robberies and assaults. Schools cannot change this until it is made safe for teachers to come in and actually teach. I pray. The violence that exists in Chicago right now, this whole year, has been devastating, and is out of control. Sorry, went on a rant. I wish I knew how to help change this tide of bloodshed.

The young man that my friend knew, died last evening, a bit over a week after he was hit by a cab and left.

I ask God and our Angels to help us know how to make this world work in a peaceful way, to feed the hungry, to house those without, to smile into the eyes of our elderly and find the light there, to learn to live green, to clean the devastation and assist nature never to destroy again. Please Lord direct us in good.

[momgran]

Dee:  I love to walk too but I don't take such long walks as often as you do.  Such aa great way of keeping fit and seeing the world around you.  I get it too, about the little creatures around us!! Amazing as you say how they have such pupose in their short little lives from the moment they hatch!  I just had a monarch butterly nealy crash into me a moment ago outside!! I remember when my little Kieran and I would take our daily walks and there's nothing like seeing the world through the eyes of a two year old!! He would see the most minute little details and we had to stop every few feet to examine things that caught his eye.  There was always this look of awe on his face and I'll never forget his little voice going 'WOOOOOW".  This was truly a gift that little Kieran gave me in his short life....to see the world again through the eyes of a child.  Such wonder and amazement.

Such a tragedy about that police officer/war vet.  Such a terrible waste of a good life and to think it was taken for something so petty.  We have more and more street crime in our city but the local police are making a concerted effort to round up the gangs and get the guns off the streets.  They arrested 71 gang members recently which makes us, the public, know they are working really hard behind the scenes to keep us safe.  These kids have no respect for human life whatsoever, including their own and they feel so powerful because they have weapons to get what they want and to eliminate anyone who gets in their way.  So very tragic and there seems to be little that one can do to get into their minds and change their attitudes.  We can only pray that the organizations that work with these kids can help them mend their evil ways and start contributing positively to the community instead of being hell bent on destroying lives!  Unfortunately, in that environment violence simply breeds more violence and so it continues.

 

[ericasmom]

Deb, glad for the view Kieran offered, and how he must be smiling that his view has stuck with you. Another of his purposes here, to help us see what we so easily don't take notice of. I remember when Jonathan, my son, was that age. We would walk each day too, and a short walk would take a long time with a 2 year old at the helm, looking and examining everything. What a delight it was for me to see through the eyes of Jon, and later through Eri's lenses. As a kid, I loved being outside, lived in Chicago and our yards were little and our streets were long. So much to see, to hear. I was always attracted by birds, their song, their chatter, their habits. Back in the early 1960's, our blocks were canopied by elm trees, but then dutch elm disease moved through causing the decimation of our shady streets, making way for a different environment. Eventually, the trees grew in and began to cast some shade, but I remember watching how the front yards changed, and how folks didn't sit on the steps as they had because now, the shade hadn't kept them from becoming too hot.

As far as crime, I am torn in two ways. I know that most of these kids/sociopaths have been raised by crime, raised in ways that disallow them to think of others in humanistic ways. I argue with my friend Linds, who is a social justice advocate about how t o change this. She says that we cannot expect different behavior when they grow up in a war zone of gangs, drugs, and video games. I agree except for one thing, our expectation must, MUST change if we are to see change. The organizations that are supposed to be in charge don't seem to be, whereas your police rounded up 71 gang members, our police are being killed by gang members. The housing developments that were erected in the 60's house lives that none of us can understand really, but now that we are tearing them down, where on earth do these folks fit? Where are they suupposed to live, go to school? So as you see, I am torn by the ways to approach this crime in the streets, this attitude of us vs. them. I guess I am tired to see the headlines which today shouted: 7 separate shootings on the south side last night...

The other day the 4 third grades went on our annual architecture tour of the Chicago River. It is one of our favorite field trips. THe threat of rain was with us all morning and as we arrived for the picnic in the wet park that borders the boat launch, the sun began to burn off the fog which up until then, was hiding the skyscrapers that the trip would later explain. So we were blessed by this, adn the trip was dry adn wonderful. I  will try to post a piece of the little video I shot off my camera/

[lolynbo]

WELL KODY WON HIS HEAT RACE AND HIS RACE....IT WAS A CLOSE TIGHT RACE AND LEAD EVERY LAP...20..I WAS ABOUT TO PASS OUT VIDEOING...

BRINLEY GETS TO COME HOME MONDAY IF BRENT AND CARLEY PASS THE MOMMY AND DADDY TEST...LOL SHE IS 5.8 PDS NOW

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIG 9 YR OLD BIKER GIRL...LOL

OH AND TAVIANS LIL BELLY LOOKS LIKE VIRTUAL GAMMYS LORRI...LOL LOVE HIS HEART

KIMBERLY CALLED ME TODAY AND FOUND OUT THE THE 2ND VET SHE TOOK EDIE TOO (WHO WAS CHEAPER) PERSCRIBED THE WRONG MEDS THIS IS WHY SHE DIED....SHE IS VERY DISTRAUGT AND WANTS TO SUE (SP) I TOLD HER IT WONT BRING EDIE BACK NOTHING WILL...POOR BABY...

HOPE TO POST A PIC OF THE BABY HOT AND SWEATY FROM WINNING HIS RACE...

[ericasmom]

Here are some of the clematis from our front yard garden...

[ericasmom]

maybe more

[lolynbo]

DEE I JUST PLANTED THE VERY SAME PLANTS FRIDAY...I HOPE MINE DO WELL ANY SPECIAL TRICKS TO KEEP EM PRETTY?

[4everjoeysmom]

Colleen, Bring it! You are so welcome to visit any time you like.

Congratulations to Kody for a big WIN!!!

Carol, I too am happy to hear your beautiful daughter is OK.

Marcia, I MISS YOU!! It's been a nutty week of fiesta around here. Now why couldn't this whole thing have been going on while you were here?? I am glad you at least got to experience the first night of it. People have been driving by our house for the past couple of hours, seemingly non-stop, asking if we rent rooms. Ha! I want to send them down to Marcia and Larry's place...but every place in town is booked full. Next year is the 150 year fiesta of Mindo. It will be insane!

Debbie, I recall our early days here at BI, and how much of an inspiration you were to me. I'm thankful that all of the little seeds of encouragement planted in me by wonderful people such as yourself have flourished and I am able to offer something back to my surrounding communities. I feel like I carry Joey everywhere I go. I have no doubt he is smiling over me. My legacy and his have become one together, and that is what helps me to carry on.

Dee, your flowers are beautiful. We have many tropicals, but I was thinking to plant some kind of vining flower to make a fence row at the side of our house--the area where Michael does projects and where we keep the dogs from going out into the street. There is a tree and a vine called Flor de Mayo (Flower of May) that looks a lot like a purple crossover of hibiscus and clematis. That might be just the thing... I'm glad your day in the city turned out to be full of sunshine.

So many posts to keep up with these days, and I am not doing such a hot job of that. Sorry.... Life seems to be spinning busy these days, but it's ALL good! Love & Hugs to everyone!!! xoxoxo ~Claudia

[summergirl]

Hello Indigo's,

Thank you, yes Tavian is quite the little man and is now going through the stage of what I call "baby fat"....he got very upset when his clothes started getting tight and we had to go buy new ones but I explained to him that now that summer is here and he is outside going like a tornado he will slim down once again...it was a long winter and snacks were going in his mouth without much thought as to whether he was humgry or bored

The flower pics are beautiful...I love all the different colors in flowers...

Lorri - So happy for Kody !!!  He is headed for NASCAR !!  GO KODY !!!

A cloudy day today so we went to visit Barry's mom and then to Game Stop for a new PS3 game...Tavian spent all his money on one game ..... 60 dollars !!! I almost dropped on the floor....can you imagine one game costing that much ?? I believe my parents spent that much on all of us kids for Christmas....times sure have changed.

Dee - how true about gangs, etc. , most of these kids grow up knowing nothing more, they have to steal to eat, to survive and the anger they have inside must be so horrible....yet the innocent lives that are taken are so hard to understand...I do not know what the answer is......

Tired tonight, it has been a busy weekend but a good one.

Peace, love and rest, Kathy

[summergirl]

Colleen - this one is for you !!

[daveydow1]

Carol---So very happy to hear that Cathi is OK now. Prayers for continued

health, and also prayers for dear Ralph.

Debbie---So good to see Kieren's smile. Your garden must be lovely.

Kathy----Great shot of Tavian having so much fun. Thanks

Colleen---Thanks for your kind words. Peace & strength in your difficult

times coming up.

Lorri----Yay  Kody! Hope your clematis does well.

Dee----Oh my....your garden is just bursting with life & color. I don't believe I've

seen a saltimbaca, but they sound beautiful. Yes....I've been seeing on the news

of all the senseless violence in Chicago. It's a shame......Chicago is a great city,

and one of my fav places to visit.....so much to offer.  I think I mentioned that my

 husband went to Loyola U. in the 60's and loved Chi. Gangs/drugs/ violence is

such a big problem.  Your prayer says it all......if only.  I wonder where it will end.?

So sad......the war vet who got killed. The violence is shameful.  Glad you are

feeling a bit better.....you must have picked up the UR from the little boy. I agree,

walks are so good for the soul. Peace to you.

               Davey&Lisasmom,  Sherry 

[ericasmom]

I am glad that you like the flowers, I am so excited that I was able to post them with less do-overs than usual. I am no tech-girl, but one that does something once adn forgets completely how it was done. Yes, one might think that I would write it down, but I don't.

Claudia, the flower fence sounds perfect, there must be many perennials that could do  the job there. I am so glad taht you had a great time with Marcia, I don't do facebook, so if either of you want to post a photo or two, I would love to see them.

I know what you mean about taking Joey everywhere you go, I feel the same way with Erz, she is in my everyday, the routines as well as the special. We are entwined.

Lor, they say about clematis, keep their feet in the shade adn their heads in the sun. They do get thirsty, so give them a good drink several times per week, down near their feet. WHOO-HOO Kody.

Kath, it is the age when baby-fat is seen most I think. I have a couple of third graders that suddenly have a little more weight on them, but mark a spot on the wall for height, check it in a month, bet there is growth, or at leaast by 2 months. It is the weight that gathers right before a growth spurt upward. But yes, snacks will do it, with the trampoline and swimming, I am sure that Tav will be fit as a brown fiddle.

Well going to bed, lots to do tomorrow, and it is supposed to be like it was today, 88 degrees adn muggy. Problem is, our school is 103 years old without any air conditioning...YiKES!

[4everjoeysmom]

Kathy, Tavian is not the only one. Snacks went into my mouth too often as well, not considering hunger vs. boredom. It was a long, depressing rainy season... Alas the sun is here! Plan on being out more to work off my pudgy middle!

[shorty16]

Tavian, you are too cool.

Love the upside down.

Colleen

[ericasmom]

My pudgy middle never used to be here, it seems menopause is the culprit but my doc says that it will disperse some when this cycle is done.

HOTTER than heck today, 88 but much warmer in the classroom, yikes, hard to manage any teaching or learning.Bad air quality, and hige humidity.

Hope everyone stays cooler than this.

dee

[shorty16]

Ugg,  My furnace is busted - I have no air conditioning in 88 degree weather with 80% humidity.

I bet we are looking at the replacement of both central air and the furnace - there goes the down-payment on a newer car!!!

I am bummed

Colleen

[mikesmum]

Colleen - Trying to get some of our cold air into an envelope but having some difficulty.  Its about zero here and will struggle to make 16C.  The rain is in for the week, but my kind of insanity says - heck walking in the rain is a good thing

Rain coats on and off we go.

Trudi

[mikesmomrs]

Colleen:  So sorry that you have to possibly deal with a new furnace/a.c.---we put in new ac last summer, but still hanging in there with the old furnace.  $$$$

Dee:  It is too bad that the school is so archaic as to not have any ac...I think there are many out there that don't, but that doesn't help the situation...are you allowed to use fans?  Of course, sometimes all that does is blow the hot, muggy air about.  It has been really nice here today, but near 90 also...made the mistake of going out at noon for a bit in the yard, and paid for it by getting sick...never learn. 

Kathy:  love the pics of Tavian on the trampoline...thanks for sharing.  You, too, Lorri...love the pic of the WINNER!

We got a call from the hospital today and Ralph has three appointments on Friday...the doctors will have a conference the following Thursday, and will see us shortly after that.  Ralph is up and down about it...some hours he's okay, and some you can see the worry clouds working their way across his face.  Thank you all for all your support...I have told him of all your words and prayers.  Just taking a day at a time. 

Betsy:  I hope you are doing okay...thinking of you.

Trud:  Have fun jumping over the puddles with the Muttley Sir. 

Sus:  Did your daughter reach NH yet?  Why is she coming to NH? (I forget, if you've told us before...sorry.) 

take care...will check in later...

love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs

ps:  cathi is doing great!

[daveydow1]

Colleen----Yikes!  I hope your furnace can be fixed, so that you are not

looking at buying a new one. I know that they are so very expensive.

Dee----I guess there are a lot of older schools that have no A/C installed.

When is school out for the summer?   We went to the garden center today

and bought two Knockout roses for Davey & Lisa's  garden. Red for Dave,

and pink for Lisa. We wanted a white one for Dave, but they were all sold

out of the white ones, except the hybrid tea roses.....and I think they are a

bit harder to grow, so red for Davey. Also got 3 black raspberry plants....I

wanted a couple more, but they're so expensive. Maybe next month.

Carol---Am praying every night for you and Ralph. Peace to you, friend.

          Davey&Lisasmom,   Sherry  

[lolynbo]

AS WITH YAL IM MISSIN MY BABY...BUT TODAY I FEEL LIKE IM JUST GONNA BREAK DOWN AND CRY...I JUST FEEL LIKE IM GONNA HAVE A HUGE BAWL FEST...IVE BEEN FEELING THIS WAY FOR ABOUT A WK....

[mikesmomrs]

Lorri:  Holding you close and sending virtual hugs to you...so sorry that you are feeling the piercing pain right now...

Sherry:  thank you so much for your words of comfort and thoughts, and prayers.

Dee:  I finally got some red dianthus, but couldn't put it in Mike's garden area---not enough sun.  I thought there was more, but I checked and there's very little...so put a couple of very small variegated hostas from Cathis yard, which were orignally from our yard in our old house, a tall white flox that grows to about 18-20 inches tall, sitting next to an astilbe, in the center is a long window box (in the ground) filled with beautiful blue flowers, almost like a small iris (can't remember the name), which are shade loving...I think when these come in full, they will stand out and complete the picture.  All of this is located under where we have the birch tree twig cross the boys had decorated for Mike's services...we have a small gravevine wreath hanging over the joint of the cross, with a few simple flowers on it...around the corner from that I planted some bleeding hearts next to the hydrangea, which of course hasn't bloomed yet, so the bleeding hearts take the show.  I loved your pictures of the clematis...these are Cathi's favorites and she has two twining their way around an arbor next to her front door.  Will be placing some patio tomatos out this weekend, hopefully.  Well, that's my energy for today...no, I didn't put all these in all at once...

love and peace to all of my dear indigo friends---I hope you have a good night,  carol  mikesmomrs

[summergirl]

Hello dear indigo's,

Long day, whew, work all day then pick up Tavian and off to Montauk for his base ball game....Montauk is as far as you can go on Long Island, it is about 10 miles and then another 5 or so to the baseball field. Got done about 7:15 and went to Johns Drive-in for a burger and fries with a few of his friends from the team, home about 8:20, shower, read and now he is sleeping like a baby and I am feeling 80 instead of my 53 !!! but what a good time they had.

Yes, Dee - I too have never had the pudgy middle but along came menopause and it just seems to want to stay no matter what I do....doctor here said the same, it will go away as menopause winds down. Hard for me as I have always been small, 5 foot 2 inches and a size 4 or 6.....still thin but the pudgy belly has taken away my two piece bathing suit and have now become a one piece.    I have no worries about Tavian as I am now watching what he eats and he is much more active now that the weather is nice.....I am expecting a growth spurt over the summer.

Carol - prayers and hugs for you and Ralph !!!

Lorri - feeling the same way sweetie although I know that the date coming up is tearing you up inside.....angelversaries can sink us into the deep abyss....we are here with you, hugging you...

Colleen - glad you liked the pic - Tavian has no fear when it comes to the trampoline and I am terrified of it (like Dee) I will jump on it but if I go to high I freak....Tavian gets a good laugh at that..

Saying a good night to all...busy day tomorrow. Love, Peace, warmth or coolness, depending on where you live !!!  Kathy

Jessica - missing you so much my girl, you have been on my mind so much...what are you trying to say???  I got to talk about you tonight at Tavian's baseball game, Jenna who is Skylar's mom asked me about you...I told her everything and it felt so good to say your name and have someone actually ask me what happened instead of avoiding it.....hate that I have to tell it but proud happy heart as I speak of what a wonder you were and are...love you so my girl, always and forever your mom

[lolynbo]

THANKS GUYS THATS GOTTA BE IT..ANGELVERSARY COMING...IT JUST BLOWS ME AWAY SHE GONE..AND STILL GONE AND FOREVER GONE..TIL I GET TO GO BE WITH HER...

THINKING OF ALLLLLLL OUR ANGELS...LOVE YOU ALL

[ericasmom]

Yep Lorri, no way to avoid the blues when that damn date comes round. I am sorry Sweetie, that you have to go through this again adn again, but like you said, until you are together again. Here for a purpose, even on days when spinning our wheels is as good as we get. Your work here is not finished. Any plans for your angelversary day?

Carol, the flowers and plants chosen sound fabulous, I do love the many shade garden plants available now. We have a variety of hostas and astilbe, they spread over the years creating a sense of a woodland edge. Nice that you are using a plant from the old house, that is nice. The cross and wreath sound pretty too. Quit overdoing please. Give yourself and Ralph a big hug as you prepare for the visits to the doctors. Fingers crossed, prayers being sent.

Sherry, it is hot in that old school, with a flat roof outside our classroom gathering heat, I proposed we put some solar collectors out there, makes more sense for the roof than simply gathering heat for nothing...no reply. I also suggested a rooftop garden which would cool our building off some, but they said the roof is not capable.

Kath, you too hu? I sure hope the doctors are right, but as far as two piece bathing suits, haven't done those in 27 years...stretch marks. I gained 60 lbs. with Eri-girl. So since then, one piece plus I wear water shorts over that.

Going to bed my Dear hearts, sleep well and dream sweetly,

dee

[Guest]

Hi Everyone,

Last week a 17 yr old was killed in a car accident.  It turns out he planned the whole thing.  He googled ways to kill himself quickly.  He emailed his friends before he did it and told them not to go see his parents for a week or two so they could have time to settle down and get used to the idea.  WHAT!?

My daughter in law's brother is one of those friends.  I told him those parents need his friends right now more than ever! 

17.  gone.   In such a horrible way.  He drove at a very high speed through a populated area and crashed into a pole.  How did he know it would work?  How did he know no one else would be around?  His friends are trying to honor the friend's wishes.  I couldn't hide my anguish.  I told them he lost his right to vote.  Go see his parents. 

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[Guest]

I'm just rambling....Can't sleep.  Been up since 3am

All this talk about pudgy tummies.  I was quite heavy during my teenage years.  I thinned out and stayed pretty lean during my adult years.  Since Steph died, though, I've gained 25 lbs.  I don't even care.  Right now, anyway.  When I came to the realization I was comforting myself with carbs, I tried to allow myself to feel the pain instead of eating it away. 

My children are on the pudgy side.  So are my grandchildren.  They were being starved when we got them and I overcompensated.  I started buying healthier snacks and hopefully with more activity they will thin out. 

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[mysonrich]

Today is the day. My thoughts are of my Mother and technology. Who do I thank for home scanners, cd burners, cd's, cell phones, usb ports at CVS and Wal-Mart, webpages to view flowers. Flowers. My Mom loved the wildflowers of Pennsylvania. My Mom loved Wildwood, NJ. When I get there I will spread her ashes. Her one desire in her will. My brother will spread some across the Pa mountains, her backyard for many years, my cousin has a plane so he will be sure to reach the places she loved. Across 3 states, the east coast and a far flung cousin in Oregon, words of fond memories and the ability to give my Mom the send off she so deserves.

Its going to be a hard day. Very hard.

I picked out  this song to be played. Its Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash. My Mom loved Johnny Cash. Its fitting. Thank you all for being here.

 

Betsy,mysonRich and Joans daughter. I love you both so much.

 

[Guest]

Betsy - I will walk with you in spirit through this difficult day.  My mother was a Johnny Cash fan, too.  Love the song you chose. 

Much love,

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[ericasmom]

Betsy, my hope and love and my admiration are all with you, my prayers are running as poems to your Momma, to Rich's spirit, and to your tenacity and great heart. Love and great blessings, may your Momma's spirit rejoice in her Daughter, in her Son, in all of her cousins and friends, and those who loved her best. May the flowers bloom a bit wilder, a bit more seeds scattered in the wind.

Read Miss Rumphius, think of your Momma, as lupine seeds were tossed in the crannies and rocky areas of the east coast.

[ericasmom]

Sus, I hate those dark and long nights that find us awake with our anxiety to sit in, but I am glad that you came here to voice your worries and your insomnia.

Hot again here, about 88 outside, about 92 in this room, have 4 fans moving across the room, it helps, but boy, it is hot. The humidity is very high, and the cottonwood trees have shed their cottony allergens to the air, so those with asthma are struggling today. We had fun this morning, the kids had to read their homework assignments aloud to determine wether or not they would have anymore homework. The assignment was to write persuasively stating why you think we should be done with homework. HIlarious. They all passed however some had to add some work to their less than stunning entries.

The best reason that a few children thought of was: " finally, Ms. Conmy, we should not have anymore homework so that you don't have anymore homework." Loved it.

Sherry, forgot to mention the roses. The two colors sound so pretty as you plant for the Children.

[shorty16]

Indigo's

After sleeping in sleeping-bags on a concrete floor in my basement - I now have air conditioning.

Our dog, Copper is laying on the vent saying "It is about time - Mom"

Our basement is not finished. 

Thank Goodness for technology.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[Guest]

  Im sitting with a blanket over me in front of the heater!  It's supposed to get up to 60 today.  Hopefully in the 80's by Friday.  It was in the 30's yesterday.  Burrrr.

[ericasmom]

Colleen, what was it that made it break down? SO glad that you have it up and running again, HOORAY.

dee

[shorty16]

It seems a little creature chewed through the low power voltage line between the furnace and the central air unit. (wonder if it felt a little ZAP)

When we turned the unit on, it blew-out the copper coil in the furnace fan.

Much money later - We have air.

This is the first repair we have done on the unit and it is original to the house (1990).

I am happy and cool.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[shorty16]

Betsy,

Thinking about you as you say goodbye (for now) to your Mother. 

May you feel the hands of our angels on your shoulders through this day and always.

Your friend

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[mikesmum]

[user=27668]mysonrich[/user] wrote:

Today is the day. My thoughts are of my Mother and technology. Who do I thank for home scanners, cd burners, cd's, cell phones, usb ports at CVS and Wal-Mart, webpages to view flowers. Flowers. My Mom loved the wildflowers of Pennsylvania. My Mom loved Wildwood, NJ. When I get there I will spread her ashes. Her one desire in her will. My brother will spread some across the Pa mountains, her backyard for many years, my cousin has a plane so he will be sure to reach the places she loved. Across 3 states, the east coast and a far flung cousin in Oregon, words of fond memories and the ability to give my Mom the send off she so deserves.

Its going to be a hard day. Very hard.

I picked out  this song to be played. Its Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash. My Mom loved Johnny Cash. Its fitting. Thank you all for being here.

 

Betsy,mysonRich and Joans daughter. I love you both so much.

 

Betsy -  I remember going through my childhood memories to gain a 'three dimensional' picture of the mother, wife, friend and person she was.  She loved to dance with dad.  She loved music.  Big bands.  Tommy Dorsey etc.  I chose "Stardust" by Nat King Cole.  Mum and dad would glide around our polished floor boards to that often.  That image with me always.

I listened to the words of the song you chose.  The one of the first people your darling mum will see will be her loved grandson, Rich.

Thinking of you as memories and emotions collide.  Trudi 

[summergirl]

Betsy - my thoughts are with you as you say your farewell to your mom.....it is so diffacult and there is nothing I can add that hasn't already been said. Thinking of you my friend.

Colleen - so happy you COOL and  comfortable. I am sure the little critter felt something !!! 

Sus - I know those nights my friend.....   How awful about that young boy deciding to take his own life and in such a horrible way, it just makes my mind crazy as to the WHY ??  I feel so bad for the parents, I wonder if he left a note to them.....I am happy about the fact that he did not take anyone else with him but so sad that he felt the need to end his life.       I did the same thing in our house, healthy snacks for Tavian.....I have noticed with the summer here though that he is so much more active and not eating like he did this winter.   Hugs to you.

Dee - I gained 65 pounds with my son and 45 pounds with Jessica....I was young, 21 when I had my son and almost 24 when I had Jessica so the weight came off quickly and my shape came back.  This will be my first year in a one piece but it doesn't bother me, I am a mi-mi and the 2 piece just doesn't seem comfortable anymore. I went down to 98 pounds when I lost Jessica but have since went back to my original weight of 115 plus 20 pounds !!!!   It has been better since we are all eating healthy now that Barry is......also getting more exercise so hopefully the "pudge belly" will go away....but what the heck I am 53 years old so who cares

Today was a great day - I left work at 11 am and went to the school and picked up Tavian and we had a "play hooky" day. We went to the beach, what a gorgeous day, it was in the low 80's, a bright beautiful blue sky.....Tavian swam, caught crabs and minnows and we just had fun. He was so excited but I made sure Miss Dee that he understands it was a one time thing as school is very important !!  He just seemed to need a day of fun, away from school, just hanging out.  Loved it....

Time for Tavian to go to bed, he is exhausted after such a great day so I will say good night.   Love, peace and rest to all indigo's. Kathy

[lolynbo]

Any plans for your angelversary day?

YES DEE I ORDERED 36 PAINTED LADY BUTTERFLIES..FOR THE RELEASE...EVERYONE WILL HAVE THEIR OWN ENVELOPE AND IT WILL SAY

"FLY FREE OUR LIL ANGEL"

KOURTNEY LYNN BRACKETT-CARGAL

FEBRUARY 27, 1986-JUNE 17. 2008

AND THE ENVELOPES WILL BE PURPLE...OF COURSE WE WILL EAT A DINNER FIRST AT ONE OF HER FAVORITE REST...THEN GO TO CEMETERY FOR RELEASE...THEN THOSE WHO WANT TO CAN COME TO HOUSE, WHERE A SMALL GROUP OF US WILL RELEASE FLOATING VOTIVE CANDLES IN THE POOL (ITLL BE DARK BY THEN) AND THEN JUST SWIM AND THINK OF OUR GIRL....

IM SURE BRENT WONT COME BUT I WILL INVITE HIM...I GUESS ALL HE HAS TO SAY IS NO...AND I WILL CRY..BUT.....

ALSO BRINLEY IS HOME..ALL IS GOING WELL..

AND THE REASON I CHOSE PAINTED LADIES IS THEY STAY AROUND LONGER THEN THE MONARCHS...SO MORE TIME FOR PICS...

[ericasmom]

Almost a full moon peering into my window, adn I am gazing up adn saying Hello Angels, bless us with your guidance and your love.

Kath, nothing I can teach in school that can possibly match a hooky day with family. I always tell parents adn caregivers, that no matter what if you want a day with your Child, have at it. That one on one is golden, and it does so much good that we teachers cannot get angry about that, unless it happens weekly. I am glad that you had fun with Tav.

Trudi, I used to watch my mom dance about adn sing songs from the Big Band Era. Tommy Dorsey for sure. And she loved that song, Don't know why there's no sun up in the sky...STORMY WEATHER. Watched every movie from the 30's adn 40's with her. Loved those times. I too love the music that you chose Betsy, filled with love and dedication.

 

Going to bed, soooo tired, see you all tomorrow.

dee

[ericasmom]

Oh LOr, I forgot that you were doing the butterflies, I think that that is going to be beautiful. Absolutely gorgeous. Holding you as you find your way through this next chunk of time.

dee with love

[mikesmum]

Beautiful sunny afternoon here.  Cleaning house.....taking no prisoners.

Found many many things I thought were lost forever.   Also found this.  Listening to the words after losing mum & Mike...mean even more. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFyKAUBkdOs

No real reason, just wanted to share a pic of my folks back in 1946. After the war ended they married in Prahran Vic.   Time stands still for none of us....

 

[mikesmomrs]

Betsy:  thinking of you and holding you close in my heart as you travel this road...you know that your precious son will be greeting your mom...I love the song you chose,  had never heard it before, but couldn't finish listening to it...  I know your mom approves of your choices. 

Lorri:  the angelversary sounds like something that Kourtney would love...and she will be right there with you all...

Trudi:  I never saw my mom and dad dance, but saw pics of them...my mom used to sing in a club at the beach in the summer, but that was well before I came along...I wish I had pics of it, though.  I have a pic of them dancing at my brother's wedding and I treasure it. 

Kathy:  So glad that you and Tavian had such a good day...I have been wanting to get out to the beach on these hot days, but with one thing and another, it just hasn't worked out yet.  I could sit in a chair on the beach all day, just give me a good book and some ice cold lemonade...some really good sugar cookies would be a good addition, too.  But, I will just take the sky and the sea and sand, if that is all I can get!

Dee: are you feeling better?

Have a good night everyone...

love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs