Loss of an Adult Child

[hotrod]

Lorri  That is a beautiful tribute to your precious child

Enid  and Marcia Thanks for the advise about sending gift packages.

I will wait to learn more about sending a gift check.  I had planned a shopping trip today for children things  so now I will just go and spend some money on new boots and slacks for myself:cool:.  Have not done that in a while.

Kathy I did not know we were so clos  If you do come into the City would love to get together. I know where you live and have spent many, many fun weekends at the shore there, in my youth.  Family all live on the NJ shore so have spent mnay years on those beaches.  You are fortunate to live in such a special place.

Carol, Sherry, Maryann, Sue, Colleen, Betsy, Claudia, Dan, Greg and everyone else  I hope you all have a Blessed Day and that Trudi and Mutley enjoy their tea and raisin toast:) and Dee's class behave and appreciate the gift they have as a teacher 

Off to Shop

Betty

Stephen'smom

[ericasmom]

LOri, congrats to the family and to you as you see a new Baby whose parents named her to honor the Beautiful Ms. Kourtney.

Great news, a blessing

[ericasmom]

Oh Betty, we must have written at the same time this morning, I am just seeing your post now, so thanks so much, my kids may not think I am a gift of a teacher today, but oh well, some days are cranky, especially when I have a student that goes to the drinking fountain and washes his face in it. ARGHHH!

It is sunny and pretty out however, blessed by that for sure.

HEre are some interesting ways to spell future by 3rd graders.

fewthure

fuecher

fewcher

fuechewer

I have my work cut out for me..

love to all

[briansdad]

Here's how I spell future........tomorrow

[ericasmom]

Good one

[mikesmomrs]

Dee:  "Here are some interesting ways to spell future by 3rd graders.

fewthure

fuecher

fewcher

fuechewer"

you got to admit, they are certainly creative!  and yes, you DO have your work cut out for you...

Lorri:  what a beautiful way to honor your precious Kourtney...

Betsy/Betty:  Well, we will see tonight if the Phillies can pull it off again, or if your Yankees (Betty) can take it back!  Oh, what will we do with our evenings when this is over?!?   My daughter Cathi and I just got bumper stickers for our vehicles that say

"Is it 7:05 pm yet?"

love and peace,  carol

[cameronsmom1]

Well they checked me and I have not started dilating but my cervix is really soft and i'm starting to thin out. Head is down and in position ready to go and I can definitely feel the pressure. I did the ultrasound today but won't know the results until the doctor sees them tomorrow. But he is measuring to be 6 pounds 3 ounces already and the normal weight for what I am now is 4.5 pounds!!! So maybe they will be inducing sooner since he is already so big. I will let you know the results when I talk to the doctor tomorrow.

[shorty16]

Greg

I agree 1000%  Future is such a relative thing now.  Future can mean very different things depending on our moods.

Wow, what a concept

Colleen

[shorty16]

Amanda

It seems you have been taking very good care of this little baby considering he is almost 2lbs over normal weight for this gestation period - WOW

Brian was 8.1lbs and Aaron was 8.7lbs.  Aaron was 2 weeks early - can you imagine how big AJ would have been if he would have cooked longer!?!?!

I am so excited about this pending birth and the new life to join with (not take the place of) the other lives in your family.  COOL

Thanks also for keeping us informed. 

Colleen 

[mikesmum]

Dee - Wondered when the phonetic spelling would come back and bite us!!!!  Smile that smile, that knowning smile and continue changing these little tikes one spelling bee at a time.

As for the new arrivals and impending arrivals....a breath of fresh air.  Amanda can't wait to meet your new man.

Well, as the engagment fatigue wears off another mountain falls on me.

My daughter just called.  She was having a coffee and reading the local news.  There in full colour are my ex inlaws celebrating 60yrs of marriage,.  They say they owe it all to respect for each other and those around them.  These are the guys that didn't come to Mikes funeral but came to Melissa's engagement.  The say they have 4 grandchildren and 8 great grandchildren.......that would be without Mike and Harmony.  How about respect for Mike and his child, his siblings left behind to pick up the pieces of their own shattered lives.......get me a gun I'm going huntin'!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:?:?:?:?:?:? 

[mysonrich]

Carol. 0-0 right now.

 

not much happening here. possibility of a 2nd job to clear up some bills that piled up after Rich died. It will be a bit more physical but I need this since my day job is looking at a computer all day. Jobs are hard to come by here so fortuneate ( Dee :-) ) that another may be in the works.

trying not to think to much about Thanksgiving.

 

Amanda, I am excited for you.

 

everyone, have a good night.

 

Betsy,mysonRich

[mysonrich]

Carol, I have a radio station streaming now but it isn;t the same :X

[mysonrich]

I look at this picture and still can not believe he his not here.

[summergirl]

Trudi - I have a gun with a holster so count me in on the hunting expedition !!

Betty - Yes, we are fortunate to live in such a beautiful place and since I come from Iowa it is quite a difference in every way. I love going home to Iowa to visit, like going to a retreat but could never leave this place - the ocean, the bays, the people. It is very hectic in the summer time but much more quiet in the winter. I love going to the city but am terrified of it as I have always went with other people, never by myself - I would get lost the minute I stepped off the bus!!! I would love to come in though and meet you for a day - we can work on something if you would like.

Dee - you did not bring me down with your talk of the tragic things that happen in this world even as I am now posting !!  It is ok to talk about those who are enduring what we have endured because our hearts go out to them in a way that it never did before we lost our child. Each time I read or see a loss I want to call the people and comfort them. So many things I feel I should be doing for others yet I know that I cannot help everyone so I come here and pray that those who are new too loss can find their way here.      Yes, I am excited about the prospect of finding a cause - something for me to do as my own person. I have many thoughts but much research to do but it will all be worth it.

Question for all - I have scheduled an appointment for Tavian to have the Swine flu shot and am very anxious about it. I have talked to his pedatrician about it and she has no concerns at all about giving it to him. Many of my friends have mixed views on it - some agree to it and other's tell me not to do it - so - I have come to those whom I trust the most in this world and hope you can enlighten me. Barry thinks Tavian should have it. 

Tough time getting Tavian to sleep tonight - over tired I think. When he closes those baby blues and falls into dream land I just sit there and look at him and think "I am blessed".

Lorri - wonderful, beautiful news - a precious baby Kourtney Sue !!!  Whoo Hoo.

Peaceful, fairyland dreams to all. Kathy

 

[arc4ever]

Dee, I had to laugh about the spelling errors by your 3rd graders.   Adam was a TERRIBLE speller.  Used to drive me nuts.  I understood it appeared he was spelling phonetically, and you knew what he was spelling but I thought "Okay is this kid EVERY going to be able to spell?"  His handwriting was nothing to write home about.  I use to tell him when he did his homework "Adam the teachers are OLD, they have to be able to read what you have written" (Sorry teachers, I know they are not all OLD, I was trying to make a point!)

At the time of Adam's death he was the stage manager for the high school musical which was still in production - The West Side Story.   He put together a three ring binder with each scene under a tab, drew out and printed out a cover page for the binder and took notes from the director as the practices were going along.  He did that all on his own.  I realized someonewhat then but more so now, if Adam enjoyed doing something I he did it right, he did it withut coaxing and he took great pride in the finished project.

Anway, sometime after Adam passed a friend of his posted on facebook that they missed Adam and even missed his terrible spelling.  So cute, I wasn't the only one who bugged him about his spelling.  I had finally given up I figured if he could read it and the schools weren't taking away points at some point in his life he would learn to spell (In college maybe) or maybe not and become like the rest of society spell check on the computer and shorthanded texting!

I have discoverred the world of Farm World on Facebook, fun game that you actually have to use your head to figure out crop prices, etc.   Been playing that the last couple of days and it seems to keep my mind occupied.   Other than that, I cannot stand the time change.  I could seriously go to bed when I get home from work at 5:00pm and not get up until 7:30am.  I just want to sleep my life away and be done with it because the waking hours are just so awful it is hard to find a reason to go on.    

Heavenly Father, help us through our suffering , Love Terrie (Adam's Mom)

(Hope I did't offend anyone with my prayer)

[mpsmom]

Lorri, Congratulations on the blessing of Kourtney Sue's arrival.  What an honor to have named this new baby after your girl. 

Betsy, I know the feeling, I woke up this with a dream of my angel when she was small.  It is so hard to believe they are really never coming home again. 

I am waiting to hear back from Enid about paypal, she doesnt think they can access it in South Africa.  So I will look into a bulk wire transfer for anyone who wants to participate by contributing to her baby shower in a box cause. 

My leg is still keeping me on my back for the most part and one of the things that has helped me keep my sanity this last year --- is staying busy all the time and not really slowing down until it was time to sleep....this sitting with my foot up all day and most of the night gives my brain too much free time. 

Kathy, If i had a little one still at home I think I would not hesitate to given them the H1N1 vaccination.  Just my two cents. 

Trudi, I just looked at all of your facebook pictures, what a delight they all are... thank you !

To everyone out there , I have been reading alot lately and thank you all for being there for me...just knowing you all are out there helps me through the days.

Love you all, Marcia    Bethanys Mom Forever

[ericasmom]

Love and hugs to Everyone, glad you liked the spelling, my own kids, one a good speller, Jonathan, the other, ERi, not so much. Handwriting too, not so great. Me? not a good speller. Example of a second grade sentence; the gril saw the brid in the tree. My sister really made fun of me for a long time on that one. But I do love the sense their spelling makes. I became a much better speller when I became an adult, but often look words up in the dictionary to make sure of my words, and have had to correct to be sure

Betsy; fortunate.

Hope the idea of a new second job is appealing and available. YEs, I still have the breath knocked out of me occasionaly when I really allow a deep look at a photo, and say, " how can this be so?"

Jon continues to struggle, prayers please adn thanks.

Peace to Each of You.

Kath, I think having the vaccine is fine, many of my students have had it. I hate that people have to make this decision in th efirst place, but since you have to, blessings.

[mikesmum]

Betsy - can see the pic, not sure why.

To all - The request for a seat a Mikes Place has been rejected.  There are overhanging Manna Gums, beautiful trees with the nickname 'widowmakers'.  They drop substantial branches without warning, hence the name.

[mikesmomrs]

Trud:  Bummer on the bench location...perhaps you will find another, or maybe you are not up to looking right now...when the time and place are right, it will come...so sorry that you had to endure the newspaper article about your ex in-laws and that they seemed to conveniently "forget" about counting your sweet Micheal and his Harmony in their blessings...

Betsy:  we did watch the game, got it here okay, but...as you know now...watching didn't help them...my daughter Cathi can't watch her baseball at all...has no cable...she listens to the games in the summer, every night, on the radio...now, that's a devoted fan!  oh well, only 101 days til they have to report for spring training...

Amanda:  the news about your sweet little bundle is just awesome...so very happy for you and your family...

Marcia:  Thank you so much for taking on this task of finding a way to send the contributions to Enid...and I am so sorry that you are having to be idle...I had back trouble the winter after Mike was diagnosed that kept me flat on my back for 10 weeks...liked to have driven myself insane...couldn't even hold up a book...I can't imagine being idle now, with what travels through my mind when I am in that state...do you read?  Of course, no matter what you do, you will eventually find that you've done it enough already...thinking of you...

Kay:  It was so very special to see your sweet Johnny's smile again, and to hear from you...thank you for checking in...

Trud:  Bummer on the bench location...perhaps you will find another, or maybe you are not up to looking right now...when the time and place are right, it will come...

Betsy:  we did watch teh game, got it here okay, but...as you know now...watching did't help them...oh well, only 101 days til they have to report for spring training...

Amanda:  the news about your sweet little bundle is just awesome...so very happy for you and your family...

Marcia:  Thank you so much for taking on this task of finding a way to send the contributions to Enid...and I am so sorry that you are having to be idle...I had back trouble the winter after Mike was diagnosed that kept me flat on my back for 10 weeks...liked to have driven myself insane...couldn't even hold up a book...I can't imagine being idle now, with what travels through my mind when I am in that state...do you read?  Of course, no matter what you do, you will eventually find that you've done it enough already...thinking of you...

Lorri: thinking of you as you travel through this month of painful memories...praying for strength for you to be able to hold it together...only time can get you through these days...God, please send Lorri many of the wonderful memories she has of her precious Kourt, to help to chase away those painful ones that haunt her during this painful time...

My grandbabies are doing okay...Jamie went back to school on Wednesday...Damon is doing fine, but his mommy is down with it now, and his other grandmother is beginning with it...so far, we have escaped it...being extra careful, carry a bottle of Purel around our necks...lol!  One of the schools in the area reported tonight that they have a 20% absentee rate...

They predicted snow flurries possible tonight here...good grief, we haven't even finished picking up the leaves yet!  

love and peace, Carol  mikesmomrs

 

[mysonrich]

this one with all the life in the world in his eyes.

[ericasmom]

Betsy, a happy spirited young Man that Rich. Very handsome as well.

Carol, good weather coming your way from Chicago. Today, sun all day and about average temps after a cold start. When I walked this morn it was 37. It will get to 53, then tomorrow, to 63 adn stay there for the weekend. Nice yard cleaning weather. OH the lovely autumn. Wow on the schools and the flu. I want you healthy Carol, stay home.

Trudi, the bench! Well at least there is a good reason at this point, not some arbitrary reason. Perhaps a different spot at some point. What about a bench where you and Muttly walk? by the sea.

[ericasmom]

Fix

If I could have fixed the breakage, I would have

I would have reached into the tissue and healed it like new,

Repaired the broken wires like I wanted the doctors to do,

But my hopes and prayers were met with your leaving instead.

If I could have repaired what took you,

You would be living right now,

In a town of your liking,

In a city perhaps,

near the sea,

Or maybe right here, where you grew up,

with me.

By,

Dee Conmy

Somehow this poem is my mantra today. THEY know that if we could have...we certainly would have.

[shorty16]

Hello to my BI friends

Trudi - Bummer about the bench, but the park does have a point, no benches under the widow-maker (never heard of such a tree).  Also, We know your Mike and Harmony are part of the ex-in-laws 60 years of success.  You are special to us.

Kathy - I have been trying to get my kids the swine-flu shot.  Especially with Michelle at a University.  Can't tell you whether to get the immunization for Tavian, but can tell you we are getting it for our kids.

Terrie - Funny about the spelling.  Brian used to write so small and so neat.  Spelling was also phonetic for him.  My Aaron's writing is impossible to read and the spelling is even worse.  Sometimes Aaron cannot even decipher his own writing.

Marcia - Thinking of you as you heal.

Dee - Love the poem.  Not only would I have tried to fix Brian's wounds, but I would have taken his place.  He was too young to die.  Love your words.

Carol - I am not much of a baseball fan, but I think the posting you do as the baseball game is going on is really great.  Also, the dirt from the baseball park that you placed on your banner of Mike did not go un-noticed - Right Bonnie!?. 

Bonnie - Hope all is well in Virgina.  Hope youR short foster-parent gig went well and that this path leads you to sharing your beautiful spirit with others.

Amanda - Thinking of you and that new life about to enter the world.

GUESS WHAT - I have 2 tickets to the Packer Game on Nov 22, 2009.  I am so excited.  Lambeau Field has been sold out for something like 20 years straight.  A friend of a friend of a friend kinda thing.  Watch for me on TV.  I will be wearing green and gold!?!?!?!

Colleen

[homeschoolmom]

Trudi...it's funny cause the kids and I are going to find a park today with plenty of leaves so we can make a huge pile and jump in! My aunt lives in an apartment and they've already raked up the leaves  We're going to try to fit in a trip to the Museum, have lunch with some African friends of my aunt (we're studying Africa in school, so this will be great), then spend the afternoon at the park.

Kathy, we have opted not to get the vaccine, but then again we don't have the kids in confined spaces around a lot of people either...especially children.  In your situation, I might do the same. Besides your doctor has no reservations about it, and Barry agrees...

Dee, Rohan used to take such pride in his spelling and writing. Everything had to be written in cursive and he was oh so particular in his letter formation. Spelling wasn't done phonetically, but he didn't have to put much effort into it at all either. Good luck!

Lorrie, we will be in OK City this Saturday. Not sure where Ardmore is, but will be thinking of you and both your Kourtneys.

Amanda...I'm just a tiny bit jealous about now! Not enough to actually do anything about it, but maybe not as opposed as I've been. The hard part is feeling that I'd be replacing Rohan and I don't know how to get past that mindset. I KNOW that wouldn't be the case, but my heart feels, or maybe fears differently. I think it would be the best gift I could give Tony though...

Bonnie...you are definitely a blessing to me! Somehow I smile when I think of you...

Marcia, sending warm, healing thoughts. Sometimes life forces us to stop and face those things we would much rather hide from. May you emerge stronger both physically, and spiritually/emotionally. I've counted three yellow punch bugg(ies) so far...

Claudia, how are you? Today is my mom's birthday...she too is named Claudia. Which reminds me I haven't called her yet! Guess I better get to it. Blessings to you, today.

Cindy, we are all here for you in good days, bad days, debilitating days, and every one in between. May your heart find peace and rest today and your memories bring warmth and comfort.

To all, have a blessed day, and prayers for grace, strength, peace, and comfort.

Shelly, Rohan's Mama

[shellbellsmom]

Terri my daughter too was a terrible speller and probby (her way) got that from me.  She never seemed to use the spell checker either….me, it became my best of friend.   I cherish each misspelled word on her letters now. 

Dee I do hope your Jon gets to feeling a little better some time soon.  Believe me I know how hard it is to watch them suffer through the pain of their lose.  My son Matt is struggling too. He has a terrible time when her name comes up….I can see the pain in his eyes.  It was just the two of them…now later this month he will have become older than she ever lived and with her birthday this coming Monday he’s miserable.  Also love the poem….you definitely have a way with words. 

Trudi – So sorry about the bench placement not happening in your special spot….and for the knife in the gut feeling with the In-laws….

Colleen congrats about the football tickets. Wish I could be a fan of the sport…but I live in Michigan and we all know about our Lions. 

Such a great picture Betsy….it sure helps to see them so happy in their photos doesn’t it. 

My husband just came home from work today and the world is still spinning...now he’s sawing logs on the couch and mumbling in his sleep.  Hope it’s just a minor bug…hate to see my boys not feeling good.  Now, I’m starting to feel a little crappy today too…

Kathy all the medical people I know up here said it’s the right thing to do for young children and young adults.  I don’t have small children but have been encouraging my son to get one as soon as our area gets them available again.  As for the cause idea....it's a wonderful way to help others.  One day something will hit you....and you will know that's what you should be doing.  On a sad note...I always prayed that I would find a cause (thought it might be with seniors though)....then my daughter died from cancer.  Guess what....I got my cause, slammed right in my face.  I often wonder what would have happen hadn't I wished for one so darn hard. 

Today I have an appointment with my new therapist. “She is a holistic therapist using mind-body approaches in a spiritual sensitive manner and will support your use of alternative methods to medicine. “   I read this and thought I would give this lady a try. She is certified in EMDR which helps a lot with PTSD.  I hope we click….I spent too many hours with ones that didn’t. 

Wishing everyone here good health, and a peaceful day filled with wonderful memories of our angels.     Sue

[heartbeataway]

http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/medical/biorkman.asp

[align=left]Just sharing ........ I'm going out to mail my card today!  [/align][align=left]

[/align][align=left]

[/align][align=left]Another article:[/align][align=left]http://www.zimbio.com/Noah+Biorkman/articles/bJCw9GM08Eq/Noah+Biorkman+Dying+5+Year+Old+Gets+Early

[/align]

[ericasmom]

Sue, Emdr works for several folks I know that have used it in therapy. It is known to be a good way to deal with PTSD. Good luck, I want JOn to go to a mind/body person, as we all know one cannot be separated from the other, our bodies react to our joy and to our shock and to our grief.Feed the body well and we help at least better balance our moods and by feed, I mean with exercise, spirtual reading or yoga or walks that feed your sprit, could be drives that feed your spirit, could be volunteering, and feed your body good foods and liquids that replenish. Feed your mind with ways to fight the blues if you can, going to therapy if you can, talking to your angel, and being here, as well as having others to talk with if you can.

Life is so very tricky and so very precious all at the same time, so learning to take your best steps makes sense. Best of luck Sue as you take your new steps.

I wish our boys could talk with one another, and communicate over the loss that siblings experience. The thread here is not real active, or at least wasn't last time I checked, which is indicative of that age group and gender, so unused to being able to talk about grief. Not that Jon has ever gone online to discuss his anxiety and sadness. I have hope that he will reach out soon, as last night was a rough time for him and he faced some of what is in front of him.

Love,

dee

[ericasmom]

Oh Bonnie, thanks for the headsup, this little Trooper, brave little soldier will definitely get some cards.

Thank you Dear

[hotrod]

Thanks Bonnie for that information

  I was having a difficult morning trying to decide an important issue and I was just going back and forth with no real solution.  I read your post and decided to put that issue aside and write out a thoughtful card to this precious child and go out into this beautiful day and mail it.

I do believe that while I am out the answer will surface.  A little background.  I worked at the WTC and retired in 2001 after the incident of 9-11.  Stephen started visiting hospitals shortly after I retired so I was caught up in his life until he passed 5-6-07.  Yesterday my former employer called and asked me to return on a part time basis-making my own hours.  I said I would consider and call back today.

 I had worked  there for over 30 years  and enjoyed my job- but since Stephen passed I do not WANT TO DO anything.  I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK TO WORK but something in me keeps saying It may be time to try this again that is my "issue" 

Making the money would be nice but that is not even part of my consideration.  I think I believe I just cannot/will not  turn  back into a "Corporate" person.

Anyway  I wrote my card, and will go for a walk.  Hope everyone has a successful day with the projects and plans you have shared.

 

Betty

Stephen'smom

[shellbellsmom]

Bonnie, thanks for sharing this link.  I heard about this a couple days ago through 2 people who have lost their child with Neoblasmona too (who actually knew of this family through the NB world) who attend my support group and then saw it again on FB today.  So I had planned on sending one out today as well.  These parents will soon become members of our club...so sad .  I just pray he has a wonderful Christmas this weekend painfree and surrounded with everyone he loves.  Sue

[mikesmomrs]

Betty:  Holding you close in thought as you wend your way through your decision making. 

Bonnie:  thanks for the info...sending virtual hugs through the air to this sweet little boy...and will send a card also.

Dee:  thanks for sending the good weather...today is dreary, cloudy, rain expected, but so happy to hear that better weather is on the way!  I loved the poem, sad though it was, the words came straight from the heart and into our soul. 

Betsy:  Love the pic of Rich...the joy just jumps from his eyes ..right into our hearts...

Sue:  Good luck with the therapist, will be thinking of you...

Shelly:  I hope you all have fun at the park today...you are one busy, busy woman!  Your children are blessed by your presence...

Col:  Thanks for mentioning the Fenway Dirt on Mike's banner...he was SO tickled the first time he got some...you would think he had a solid gold brick!  The first game he went to following his brain surgery happened to be on Father's day, and they had  "Father's walk in the field" time after the game...he was so excited...like a little kid...sifting his feet through the warning track dirt...one of the security people put some in a cup for him...   So great about your getting tickets to the football game, but please don't wear green and gold...we won't see you...you need to wear bright pink and purple so you will stand out...lol!

Mary ann and Beth:  Thinking of you both today and hoping you each are having a good day...

Marcia:  Hope you are staying out of trouble and keeping that leg elevated...wish I could be there to bring lunch to you...maybe we could watch a movie together...

love and good thoughts to all I haven't mentioned...you all are in my thoughts every day...

Got to get dressed to go to the doctor with hubby...he's like that ad on TV where they show people at their doctors and the doc asks "Any questions?" and they look at the doctor blankly, shake their head and say "ummm...Nope."  That's him...no questions, no statements, just goes, doesn't really listen, and comes home and remembers nothing about it that was important.  So, I go and take notes.  When he comes home, we go over the notes and it's like "Oh, yeah, I remember him saying that...."  so glad that he's as good a guy as he is...my patience would wear thin otherwise...lol!  After 45 years, though, I think I will keep him, warts and all...I'm too old and it's too late to try to break in someone new! 

love and peace to all,  carol  mikesmomrs

 

[mpsmom]

Good morning to all, I am posting on behalf of Lorrie, Kourtney's Mama

Lorrie left for her long weekend trip and cannot post to Bi, she texted me and wanted me to relate info for her.......

They went to the concert ( AC/DC) and had a great time, she said she relly had a good time and tht Kody was smiling from ear to ear....  .they are driving on the wy today to NASCAR.....  She rececived a t4ext from Carly, Brents new GF ----- Carly was concerned about talking to Lorri--she was worried abot Lorri would feel --- Brent and Carly are pregnant---Lorrie seems very happy about it and feels that her sweet Kourtney is approving of the pregnancy.

Way to go "Grandma Lorri"--------

My leg is still painfull whenever i get off my back, we will see the ortho surgeon tommorrow,   My Dad is t the door, more later,

Marcia   Bethanys Mom Forever

[mikesmum]

Bonnie - all heart always.  Card from Australia will be on its way this am. 

Betsy - I tried to return to work after Mike died with little success.  Lost confidence, ability and motivation.  The panic attacks when I'm back in a 'work' situation are worse than the menopausal flushes!

Marica - Thanks for the Lorri update.  It will be hard in one way but I just know she will be one hot surrogate granma!!

Carol - I know what you  mean.  Its like when you go thru the airport and they ask your other half, "did you pack your own bag" and they answer yes.  AS IF!!!

Yep the bench suxs, but I realise what is beauty one way is also a potential hazard.  Trying now for maybe a rock with  a memorial plaque in this place.  They did offer us to maybe replace a picnic setting just up from Mikes Place.....same river just no large trees.  More discussions next week.

I think the article about the inlaws hit me most when I heard the hurt in my daughters voice.  They dismissed Mike out of hand and in turn trivialised the pain she and Steven felt losing their brother.  Their anniversary party is this weekend - Melissa is sending an inablity reply together with a heartfelt letter as to why she is severing ties with this family.......baby girl baby girl

Mike, you were right hypocrites come in all sizes, all ages.  Wrap Melissa, Steven and Emily tight in your love....they are hurting now from the thoughtless words of those who really shouldn't matter.......................Mum

[zachysmom]

Hi all,

things are not much better for me right now but I keep going. Got my bloodwork and test results today. Everything looks good Dr. can't find any physical issues so she thinks stress and anxiety are the causes. She thinks maybe an anti anxiety med might be helpful so as to avoid any damage.

I have been working little by little on Zachys website. Just about have all the bugs out. Betty I will be setting up your folder and getting your pictures uploaded starting no later than tonight. If you have pictures from other sites you would like uploaded just pm me the site.

 

Just taking my time trying to gather the microscopic shards of my once life and banging my head on the wall trying to put them back together. Slowly coming to the realization that the old me doesnt exist any more and I just have to keep crawling forward till i learn to walk again.

[ericasmom]

Zachsmom, good for you, striving to move forward, shards adn all, go for it, with the absolute love adn hope from your beautiful Zach. What a gorgeous young love.

Peace in the steps you take,

dee

[mpsmom]

Trudi, I am so sorry for Mellissa and the way the other side of the family has acted....she has lost so much already, to lose more seems so sad.  I suppose though she cannot lose what she does not have, these people dont sound like they deserve to be able to call Melissa family.  Also sorry that you cannot have Mikes bench placed where you wanted it, but SO VERY THANKFUL that one of the widowmaker branches has not fallen on you when you have been in that very place enjoying the day with Mutley. 

Dad brought out a set of crutches for me to use, dont know when i will be able to though, we are seeing the ortho surgeon tommorrow to evaluate whether the intense pain i am feeling when i hop to the bathroom on the good leg  is normal, it is as though someone is tightening a ratchet strap round my upper calf in a matter of less than a minute of having the foot not elevated. 

Carol, I am sorry that your team did not win the world series, Larry smiled when i told him how many days til spring training.  Glad to hear your eye is better. 

Bonnie, thank you for listening when i am feeling lonely............doing nothing all day is eating me up. 

Dee, please stay healthy.... all those little ones surrounding you with germs, i worry for you and your class with the terrible flu going around.  I feel like i should send you a huge bottle of purel. Still keeping Jon in my prayers 

Betsy, sure do like that new pic of your sweet son, the look in his eyes is one of confidence and extreme happiness.....i have pics all over the house now, some of my favorite ones from recent days before she left us. 

I ordered from QVC ( see now i am TV shopping, does that tell you'all something??????,) I ordered a contraption that you can feed pictures in to and it scans them to your computer or a flash drive, looks pretty easy to do, i have so many pics in albums from the early years, i need to scan them all for safekeeping for forever, it was less than $100 with shipping and looked simple and quick, also will scan 35 mm negatives.

Sue, my prayers are with you , your hubby and your son on this upcoming day of your sweet daughters birthday......I am sorry it is so hard for her brother.....i am an only child I cannot even imagine what he and Dee's Jon are going thru. 

Colleen, thinking about you, how is the remodeling going??  Have a great time at the football game.  Larry and I usually fly out to somwhere closeby LA, OAK or PHX, to see the Raiders play once a year, no plans to do that anymore, maybe by the time we feel up to it, they will figure out how to win a game again..HA ! 

Dan, where have you been ?? Hope all is OK as it can be. Stephens mom thank you for your kind thoughts.

Kay, so happy to see you are till out there somewhere, thank you for letting us know you are hanging in there.  hope to see you back with us again.

Shelley, what an adventure of a trip, one of the advantages i never thought of with home schooling your children.  enjoy your visit, i hope you will have a 'happy butt' when you return to Florida.

Kathy my friend, always on my mind, Jess and Bethany have surely joined forces by now, even at 16 Bethany loved going out to dinner with her girlfriends. 

Hugs to all, i will write more when i can and try to more catch up....

Marcia Bethanys Mom Forever

[mpsmom]

Beth, what a darling picture of your Zach, with his little car turtleneck..... what a sweetie!  Keep moving forward one tiny step at a time... it is all we can do, there is still 'work' for you here on this planet..... his death will never make sense but hopefully one day , the memories of the day he left you will not be foremost in your mind, and the happy times with Zach will be wht make you smile ---I have not gone to see Zach website yet, what a wonderful thing you are doing in his honor....one day i will attempt to do one for my angel.

HUGS< Marcia     Bethanys Mom Forevefr

[welovedrew]

Wow...I just scrolled back and read some remarkable stuff! I love that dog, Mutley..he is adorable. Richsmom...what you said about how Rich felt (screaming out of the car)...there may be something to that. I always love the words of wisdom from Dee...thank you. I hope your leg heals quicky, Marcia. Happy Birthday, Adam...I love your beautiful smile. Zachymom, hang in there...you are doing great. I know you don't think you are, but you are a very strong woman and you will get stronger (not something that we moms want to hear at a time like this, but we are all here for you!). Kathy...just love everything you write! Joeysmom...I have missed Joey's big smile. Shelley, so glad you made your trip okay. Colleen..I hope you are doing okay. I think of you often...especialy, lately. Stephen's mom, please have a better day and continue to heal. Welcome, baby Kourtney Sue. Amanda...it won't be long until that beautiful baby will be here! Carol...what happened to the Red Sox? To anyone else that I missed...I think of all of you often. I read, but I don't always post. I am now living in VA, I miss my family in MA but, it has been a good move for me (so far)! I hope to read more interesting posts real soon. Love to each of you! (Drewsmom) Mary

[lolynbo]

I HAVE THE WEB...FROM MY MOTEL ROOM..HERES MY DAY GUYS DONT READ THIS , THIS IS TOTAL WOMAN TALK...YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED..:

I GET UP AT 5:30 THIS MORN, FROM MY ACDC NIGHT..DONT SLEEP WELL AT KIMBERLYS CUZ KODY LEFT TV ON LAST NIGHT AND IT KEPT ME UP (I WAS BY THE WALL AND COULDNT GET UP OR ID WAKE MONTY) SO I LISTEND ALL NIGHT...............

WE GET TO TEXAS MOTOR SPEEDWAY, BUT JUST B4 WE DO I TELL MONTY U BETTER FIND ME A RESTROOM I DONT FEEL WELL AND I NEED TO CHECK MY TAMPON..(TOLD YAL YOU WERE WARNED)...(HAVENT HAD A PERIOD SINCE AUG) ( SO IM THINKING HERE WE GO GOING THRU THE CHANGE AT 46) (WARNED YA), WELL SPEEDRACER WHO IS DRIVING LIKE "HE:S QUALIFING" DOES NOT STOP...SO BY THE TIME WE GET TO THE TRACK, LORRI HAS TO CHANGE FROM HER JEANS CUZ SHE HAS BLEED THRU (TOLD YOU 3XS NOW SO THERE YA ARE), SO THEN WERE WALKN AROUND FOLLOWING KODY FROM TRUCK TO TRUCK AND TAKEN PICS...AND LORRI THINKS "I BETTER GO TO THE BATHROOM" SO LORRI DOES...AND WHAT THE HELL..IVE BLEED THRU ANOTHER PAIR OF JEANS ( OK YOUR ON YOUR OWN YOU DIDNT LISTEN SO DEAL WITH IT)..SO I TEXT MONTY "AH NEEDA WALK BACK TO THE CAR NEED TO CHANGE" SO WE WALK AGAIN ACROSS THE TERRAIN TO THE TRUCK...NO MORE JEANS....SO I HAVE ME A MELT DOWN AND TELL MONTY TO JUST TAKE ME TO THE MOTEL 6 DOWN THE ROAD (BRAND NEW REALLY CONTEMPERARY PLACE) SO WE LEAVE MY PRECIUOS  BABY BOY AT THE TRACK AND GO GET A ROOM (TONIGHT ITS 55- TOMARROW IS 95) SO I CHECK IN AND SEE THAT THEY HAVE A LAUNDRY FOR THE GUESTS..SO I SAY "I WILL DO LAUNDRY AND GET A WEB CARD AND SURF , YAL STAY AT THE TRACK I WILL TRY AGAIN TOMARROW"...MONTY SAYS (WHO AT THIS TIME IS TIRED OF CARRING MY TAMPONS FOR ME, THAT KEEP POKING OUTTA HIS POCKET-AROUND "THE GUYS")...SAYS "ARE YOU SURE, IM WORRIED ABOUT YOU, YOUR NOT GONNA DIE ON ME ARE YOU" (IM THINKING I WISH)..I SAID"IM FINE I JUST WANNA END THIS DAY HERE....

SO I GO DOWN STAIRS TO THE LAUNDRY PUT ALL OUR CLOTHES IN THERE AND.....NO SOAP....NO WAY OF GETTING KEY....NO WAY OF WASHING TODAY LORRI...SO I THINK OK I WILL JUST GO  BACK TO THE ROOM AND SURF......AH WEB CARD DONT WORK....F(^& CRAAAAAPPPP STUPID SUN OF A B*^&! MOTHER.......I WILL JUST TAKE A LIL NAP....SO I SLEEP COUPLE HOURS AND TRY WEB AGAIN AND HOLY COW HERE I AM.....

THUS I LEFT OUT DROPPIN MY PHONE, GETTING LOCKED IN THE REST ROOM COULDNT GET OUT......

AND HOW WAS YOUR DAY...

TOLD YOU GUYS NOT TO READ THIS BUT YAL DONT LISTEN.....................

[hotrod]

Beth  I just loved the new  precious  picture of Zachy.  What a sweet angel !!! Please just take care of yourself.  You are not alone. 

 Stephen's web site is:.  Website: http://hotrod.last-memories.com/index.php 

 

Marcia     Please take care of yourself. You are in my thoughts.

 

Mary, Trudi, Dee, Colleen, Kay, Kathy, Betsy Lori , I really love to see your angels and read your updates.  

 

I still have not decided about the job but do realize that I too have lost an edge and drive and do not expect to regenerate it.  I will decide by the weekend.

Thanks for being here

 

Betty

Stephen's mom

[daveydow1]

Beth---Your pic of little Zach is just precious. A beautiful little angel...truly

a little white soul.

Betty---Wishing you peace in your decision about the job. I get what you

mean about not being able to regenerate. Sorrow does that to us. Prayers

for a peaceful night.

     Daveysmom, Sherry

[homeschoolmom]

Lorrie, Lorrie, Lorrie...I'm so sorry but I am cracking up waiting to see what else was going to happen on the next line!! Wishing you better luck tomorrow with your jeans, and your phone...and web card, and sleep, and...and...and...

Shelly, Rohan's Mama

[hotsauce]

hello to everyone.  still depressed, but i would like to ask a question.

i can't tell right now if my angel BRIAN was a dream,or am i really in a nightmare.

has any one felt this way, or am i losing it?  i miss he so much, and that night it is so lonely without him. i know this must sound stupid, but that is the feeling i have right now.

i just want to roll up in a ball and die.  it is so hard.

i was trying to put a new picture of BRIAN on the screen, but it won't come up, just so lost.

sorry

mary ann

Brian's momdukes 

[mysonrich]

Mary Ann, I felt that way. wanting to just close my eyes and not wake up, the pain so great. Brain was here and still is in spirit and memory. His life was not a dream and I am sorry that you are caught up in the nightmare of his death. One moment at a time.

[hotrod]

Hello MaryAnn

I understand your pain and how your life with Brian feels as if it were a dream.  Please know that your life and the beautiful memories you have of Brian are very very real. 

You were Brian's mom and loved him from the moment he began to grow in you.  You both loved each other with an infinite love and now that Brian has passed on, that love is still very much alive and part of you.  

I am so sorry you are in such a painful place. 

I am not good at uploading pictures to this site.  I do thinks that Brian looks so very handsome in the current picture but if you want to change it I am sure someone will offer their expertise.  

Praying for your peace.

Betty Stephen'smom

 

[mpsmom]

Mary Ann, I think I understand what you are asking/saying ---- there are days that I feel my whole life with Bethany, all the memories, her voice, her growing up to a stunning young lady...that... all of THAT is the dream....not the fact that she is now gone, but somedays it feels like it was a dream having her for 17.5 years.....makes me feel like i am definately going crazy---- deep in my heart I KNOW she was not a dream--not a dream that I created in my head of a perfect family with our much waited for little baby who grew up..... somedays your brain tries to protect your heart.  I hope that helped a little bit.  it is as though some days she never really existed.  I love you and miss you my baby girl.

HUGS Marcia   Bethanys Mom Forever

[hotsauce]

BESTY<  thanks, but it hurts so much

mary ann

[hotsauce]

will write later, i am crying so much i'm afraid i will short out BRIAN'S laptop.

 

good night to all

may ann

Brian's momdukes

[mpsmom]

MaryAnn, get some much needed rest.....................we will all be here for you when you have the strength to return.

Holding you close in my heart,          Marcia    Bethanys Mom Forever

[mysonrich]

Betty, I can relate to your dilemma. indecision. I feel that when my life was changed by Rich's death that I should also change direction. I still have that thought but am not able to make a change yet and am not really sure what it is I should do but, it will not be the same road I travel now. There is time to figure this out, my new road.

 

Marcia, I think you should get a Jazzy and have Greg put a really fast motor on it. zoom zoom zoom,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

Hope everyone is well tonight. I had a nap today and actually feel like I had a nap.

 

Betsy,mysonRich