Loss of an Adult Child

[arc4ever]

I just received terrible news from our family.

My husband's cousin's daughter was found Monday morning along the Blue Ridge Parkway near Ashville, North Carolina.  Her name was Misty Lynn Carter, she was 21 years old.  Her body had been dumped and was found by a driver passing by.  She has just now been identified by her daddy (Bobby Carter).  That is all of the information I have right now.  Prayers would be nice (hate to ask again, but keep getting bad news!). 

May our angels welcome Misty with open opens.

Love, Terrie (Adam's mom)

[homeschoolmom]

Terrie,

How horrible that Misty should be dumped on the side of the road...a beautiful precious soul. And another parent gets added to our club. Sometimes I want to lash out at life...so much evil, so much pain.

I am praying right now for sweet peace for Bobby, and the rest of the family.

Shelly, Rohan's Mama

[mysonrich]

Terrie, I will pray for Misty and her family and that they find the person responsible for her death. May justice be swift.

 

Betsy,mysonRich

[hotrod]

duplicate posting

[hotrod]

Terrie: I am so very sorry to hear about another loss in your family.  I pray that Misty be held by all our angels and that her family find peace.

 

MaryAnn: I agree it is a very painful place we are all in and it is so very special to have a place like BI to come to.

 

 

Sherry I love to see Davey's smiling face.  I too long for a dream but have not had one.   His Live in Girl Friend calls me weekly to say he has visited her in a dream and is happy.   I did hear his voice one morning saying "Hi Mom" and It sounded as if he was right in the room.  I can still hope for a visit.

 

Sue: Yes all the events of our lives are some how lacking since the loss of our precious children. I just go thru the motions these days and am grateful that I can just show up.  I hope your hubby does get a sign for his birthday.

 

Marcia  I hear your sadness.  Bethany was so very young  So beautiful, full of life and just beginning to write her beautiful life story.  I understand your missing.  You bring so much love to others here.  Thank You

 

Lori  I am so glad that your flag will be ready.

 

Greg  How wonderful of you to offer to do it at the last minute.  This is such a powerful and caring place.

 

Dee  I too loved the grape dream.  I could close my eyes and see it all .  Thank you for sharing your wonderful experiences   Hope parent/teacher conferences go well

 

Carol: love the picture of Mike at the concert.  hen you spoke with such joy over how much Mike loved concerts and his music, it reminded me that Stephen was an avid Bruce Springsteen fan  Attended every concert in NJ and NY and kept all the tickets.  I had forgotten his love and enthusiasm for music.  You are right when we open the door and remember more and more of he happy times it is painful at first but then the glow and warmth of the memory seems to take the place of the sadness. 

 

Bonnie  This flag project was such a healing experience for me  Thank You

 

I am trying to get better at responding to each  message but I am sure I have neglected someone so if I have please forgive me.  That was one of the reasons I never attempted to respond before.

 

Have a Blessed Day

 

Betty

Stephen's Mom

[homeschoolmom]

Just searching online and my heart is just broken for this family. And her unborn child, symbol of the future, of hope...snuffed out. Why???  Would anyone understand when I say that times like this I'm glad Rohan isn't a part of THIS world anymore?

[hotsauce]

TERRIE,   O>M>G> i am so sorry about Misty,  life sucks as it is and to take a life and bumped her, .  i hope they find the jerk(s) who did this soon.

i am so sorry for her family.  it is so hard to believe, another angel.

in my prayers

mary ann

Brian's momdukes

[mysonrich]

Animal. Just an ugly animal.

 

Betty, me and Stephen would have gotten along just fine. The Boss,2007 Philly. Rich didn't want to go. He didn't like Bruce. I said Rich, YOU HAVE TO LIKE BRUCE,YOU'RE FROM JERSEY. He didn't see eye to eye with me on that one.

 

Mary Ann, (((hugs))). its good to see Brian today.

Bonnie, the banner seems to have been very emotional for all of us however, uplifting. does that make sense?

 

Betsy,mysonRich

[arc4ever]

Thank you for the kind words everyone.

The kindness of strangers, the evils of the world:

Today: 

1.  Got the news about Misty - how could someone do such a thing to another human being.  And I just found out it appears she was pregnant. I agree sometimes for a fleeting moment I think, I'm glad Adam will never have to endure the pain of this world (then I miss him so much again!).

2.  Got home, opened the mail, and there was a check, a donation from a different school's cross country team.  They have a yearly cross country meet at a farm (called "the Down on the Farm run".  They run thru the woods, thru the fields and the trophies - well if you place in the top 20 in the race, you get a John Deere Tractor keychain with your placement number painted on it.  The winning team, well they get a hideous wooden trophy with a very tacky plastic cow on top.  The kids love it!  Adam loved that run he always had so much fun, and managed to win two John Deere Tractors over the years and his team won the tacky trophy every year he ran.  Anyway, at this years race, they donated the sales from the t-shirts to Adam's Memorial Scholarship Fund.  Came home today to a beautiful note signed by all the members of the hosting cross country team and  a check for $265.00.

(Here is a picture from the Down on the Farm win in 2007)

How do we reconcile such evil and then such kindness from complete strangers?  Most days I am at a complete loss.

Thanks again for the kind words, I will pass along to the family your condolences.

Love Terrie (Adam's mom) 

[mpsmom]

"Would anyone understand when I say that times like this I'm glad Rohan isn't a part of THIS world anymore?"

Shelly, yes i understand when you say this....... 

Terri I am so sorry for you, your husband and his family.  SO many evil people out there.  I hope they find out what happened to Misty in a short time and that whoever did this is brought to justice. 

Whenever Bethany left the house I worried about her coming across someone EVIL, she was so outgoing and so freindly to everyone, as horrible as it may sound, the way she died gives me some comfort to know that she was not kidnapped by some horribly evil psycho .... she died suddenly and as awful as that may sound she left this world this world without any suffering or fear.

Peace,   marcia    Bethanys Mom Forever

 

 

[mysonrich]

The down on the farm race sounds like a real good time Terrie.

[lolynbo]

MY BANNER IS DONE AND I HAVE OVER NIGHTED IT TO BONNIE 2 HOURS AGO...ITS SMOKEN HOTT AWESOME....DAMN I FORGOT TO TAKE A PIC OF IT...I SUCKKKKK:(

SO SORRY FOR YOUR CUZINS LIL GIRL HOW HORRIBLE..PPL ARE SO CRUEL..I PRAY FOR A FAST CAPTURE AND DEATH FOR THESE PPL

[shellbellsmom]

So sad about Misty...sending prayers to her family.  She now joins our children up in heaven...they will get a new friend, but her parents will lose a piece of themselves. 

So true that life will never be GREAT again...there will be good times, fun times but never really GREAT times ever again without our angels to share them with. 

Getting ready to have a birthday dinner with my husband and son...there will be a missing person, an empty chair, and a cloud over this celebration dinner once again.  Hopefully she will be there in spirit...she would have hated to miss her fathers special day. She was his little princess...his only daughter....his love.

Take Care Everyone...Sue (Michelle's Mom)

*Pic is of Michelle and her father at a cousins wedding. 

[homeschoolmom]

Sue, love the pic...can't wait for my hair to have that pretty grey color...course since my 74 yr old grandma and my 54 yr old mom barely have a hint of grey...I probably won't. Maybe I can dye it that way! Dreaming of my grey hair days...

Shelly, Rohan's Mama

[ericasmom]

Terrie, just read of the days news, and I am crying for both things, the ache and horror of Misty's end to life, and the joy of a caring group who will not forget Adam. They will not.

Everyone, your Child will not be forgotten, not by their friends, family, the nursing staff and doctors that met them in the hospitals, and never ever forgotten by you. And while life will never be the same, how could it? IT will be better than it feels today. It is a dicotamy of many events and emotions. The loss and all that it pulls from you will soften but for me that happened when I was able to let go of the constant replay of the night Eri was struck, and when I forced myself to do other things than rewind that memory, I began a whole new level of healing and in that found way more room for remembering the great pieces. Guilt is a huge reason that we have a hard time healing some. We are afraid to let go of any part of the loss for fear of letting go of them. I stand here today to let you know that letting go of some of the events that took your Child, will not in anywya disrespect her/him. It really frees your brain up for more productive remembering.

I promise.

OK Lori, I laughed out loud at your statement; I forgot to take a picture, I suck. You are one funny woman, the one who told us all to take photos of our flags. funny funny woman, Ilove you.

dee

[lolynbo]

YEP MONTY BROUGHT IT TO KOURTNEYS KLOSET FOR ME, AND I LEFT AT 2 AND RAN TO THE MAIL...DANG DANG DANG....

IT IS NICE THO....

WHEN I THINK OF THE EVIL IN THE WORLD I TOO AM GLAD MY GIRL DONT HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS CRAP...BUT GOD I  MISS HER....

POOR MISTI, WHAT A WAY TO GO, SO MUCH FEAR...JUST PRAY OUR GOD STEPS IN AND MAKE S DEATH FAST..AND SHE FELT NO PAIN...I DONT THINK HE LETS THE INNOCENT SUFFER...I JUST DONT

[arc4ever]

Crap  I totally forgot to take a picture of Adam's banner too - seriously, it didn't even cross my mind.  I have no idea why it just didn't. 

By the way, I just couldn't manage to go to the calling hours or funeral for Tatu Mike.  I tried, I really did try.  But just couldn't manage.  I did get to see his sisters on Friday night and delivered food and spent a few hours drinking beer and visiting.  I know they understand why I couldn't make it.  

I'm praying for wonderful weather for Pinnacle Days, and even if it isn't good weather, hopefully all our banners stay intact!

Thanks Dee for the your constant beautiful words, they really do help.

Love Terrie (Adam's mom)

[hotrod]

Lori I am glad your flag is "smoking"and in the mail.

Marcia, MaryAnn, Terrie Betsy,

I agree the evil in the world is terrible to experience and I too am happy all our angels are now safe and free from all the evils of this world. Evil is out there but then I come here and experience the goodness of strangers (as Terrie noted) and I am reminded of the old saying the that goes something like

"The only way for evil to conquer is for good men to do nothing".The goodness , compassion and kindness I find here leaves me in awe.

Betsy Loved the picture of Bruce and Little Richard (I think that is his sidekicks name)  You are right you and Stephen would have really loved each other.

I am so sorry Terrie that your family has yet another sadness to deal with.

Betty

Stephen's Mom

 

    

[heartbeataway]

All of the banners will be captured in pictures, I promise!  And I promise that regardless of the weather, they will be kept safe and sound.  We have a tent and if it rains as predicted, they will be in the tent.

For those that pray, please pray that there is no rain.  I just don't want it to rain this year.

I believe in miracles and we need one ....... okay, want one. 

Kathy,

Your banner was delivered today. Rich was out and I opened it.  My heart melted.

He came in and immediately thought that Dad was gone. I just showed him the banner flag.

He stood there looking at it and said, isn't she the girl who died from ARVD?  He remembered her name.

I was actually doing pretty good with it until I turned it over and saw Tavian's little handprints.  Just broke my heart.

The love that is evident in each of these is so sweet and so sad.

Thank you for participating. 

[mikesmomrs]

Such a whirlwind of emotions to open the board and find...so very, very sorry about Misty and her unborn child...so vicious, so evil, and Terrie, please never worry about asking for prayers from this board...we all need that help, and whenever we do, no matter how often, we can feel comfortable and confident that our request will be met with understanding and comfort....  Please let all know that we all hold them in prayer and thought for strength at this terrible time, and I too hope they find the responsible party and bring them to justice soon.

and yes, Marcia, I think all of us do uderstand your saying that you are glad in some ways that Bethany is over that danger now; it is a constant fear that parents live with...when Mike left here for California, alone, when he was 23, I was SO afraid that he would end up in a dumpster somewhere with no id on him, and we would never know what happened to him.  Little did I know that it was "already in the works" for him to be redirected back to his home, where he would have the care and love he would eventually need to take his journey from this earth.  I think I have mentioned before that I knew long before Mike became ill that he would not outlive us, his parents.  I knew when he was five years old...I don't know how I knew, I didn't know how or when it would happen...I just knew that he would not live on beyond us...When he died and we all gathered to speak our thoughts of him, we all, friends and us, his family, agreed that looking over the timeline of his life, he was directed and redirected when necessary to the spot, time and place he was in when he left us...it was as it was supposed to be---as I "knew" but didn't know, so many years before.  Difficult to accept, almost impossible to live with, but there it is...

Lorri:  I agree with Dee, you are too funny, woman...she's right, you are the one who reminded us all to take pics...lol!  I am sure, though that Bonnie will take a pic for you and send it to you, and anyone else who forgot...I raced out the door at 4:40 (UPS picks up at 5:00) and as I jumped in the car, I remembered I hadn't taken a pic...raced back into the house, grabbed the camera, raced back out and hung the flag on the lightpole outside and took some pics.  Good thing...when I went to pull it onto the pole, I realized that I had glued a small part of the top that was supposed to be left open...good thing the glue wasn't completely dry yet...Mike's friend Denis, came over to see it before we mailed it, and when he looked at it, he said "It is really terrific, but I kind of expected Mike's "groovy funk machine" to be here...soooooooooo, back to the computer, printing out the pic onto the fabric, finding a spot to fit it into, and hastily retrieving the Mighty Mend It to put it on there...so, the flag got mailed with one pic still "wet," but it will be dry by the time it gets there.  All of the pics are on there with Might yMend It, but I did sew most of them on, as well, though there are few last minute additions that were only ;ut on with the glue.  I know, Bonnie, that you said it might not be good to use glue due to the possibility of their getting wet, but that Mighty Mend It really holds up in the wash, so it should be okay.    So, it's in the hands of FedEx now, supposed to be there in your hands before 10:30 in the am...had to use my old age pension check to mail it,  but that's what one gets when one procrastinates and then when we finally get around to it, we keep adding and adding... Of course, in all this racing around, the note I had to put in with it fell to the floor of the car and never got put in there with the flag!  I am so grateful to you, though, Bonnie for thinking of this...it has been an experience that brought tears, laughter, reminders of stories and events that one doesn't think about every day...and this has been good, for all of us.  Everyone in our family has contributed in some way, be it some "thing" or some suggestion, and it has been an accomplishment for us all to feel good about.

Sue:  I hope you and your hubby are able to have nice birthday for him...the empty chair is a constant reminder that there is someone missing, for sure, and can be so difficult to get around... I pray that your husband will get a sign from Michelle,, and perhaps this will help and encourage him to understand that she wants you to celebrate your days...even though it is so hard to do sometimes.  

love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs 

[summergirl]

Bonnie - thank you, I am so glad you received the flag on time. I actually cried when I went to the post office and mailed it - my fingers did not want to let go of the package - how crazy is that???

I am sorry I have not been able to keep up with the postings - crazy around here and now my laptop got a real bad virus so I have to take it to the computer man to get it de-virused!!!!!  I am so upset but at least I have the desk top to work with.

I am really tired and not myself today so I am just going to say that I am thinking of everyone, missing you all and I will catch up on all the postings as soon as I can.

I am praying for the young girl whose body was found (I am sorry I have lost her name somewhere in my brain) - I hurt so much for the family that must endure such heart break, to lose a child is the worst anyone can imagine and yet I still find myself thrown backwards when I hear of such a tragedy - someone so young to be taken in such a way. Prayers with the family and friends.

Please sleep well and dreams sweet dreams. Will talk tomorrow.  Much love, Kathy

[lolynbo]

WELL MY BABY BOY GOT A SPEEDING TICKET TODAY...OH LORD...66 N A 55...THANKFULLY NOT IN A SCHOOL ZONE...HE IS PAYING IT AND HOPEFULLY HE HAS LEARNED A $$$ LESSN...(I DOUBT IT MONTY HASNT)

[mpsmom]

Lorri, OOPS   It was bound to happen sooner than later.

HUGS> Marcia   Bethanys Mom Forever

[mikesmomrs]

I've been wanting to share this with you all, but have been working on the flag, and have been kind of mulling all of it over in my mind ever since it happened, and when you hear what happened, you will understand why I couldn't talk about it right away...I had to "digest" it first, and come to terms with it all.  On the night of Ralph's birthday this year, we happened to be in a compassionate friend's meeting...we had had Ralph's b'day the night before, on Sunday, so the family could be there...During this particular meeting, we were having a pre-arranged visit from a psychic...he had learned about our group through chatting in line one night with our group leader, and offered to come visit us.  He did not want to be paid and wanted to know nothing about us beforehand...he said he felt he was directed to be here, as he and our group leader were not in their usual places when they met...the group leader had to unexpectedly go to a different Dunkin Donuts for the coffee for the meeting than the usual one, and he (the psychic) had stopped in unexpectedly, as well, and they both chatted in line because no one came out to wait on them for quite a bit of time...   The meeting was originally set for August, but he had to postpone due to out of state obligations, then the September meeting was postponed due to some work he had to do with his book he is writing, so the meeting was finally set for...Oct 12th, Ralph's birthday.  (I think I've told before of the story of how Mike stayed here for his dad's b'day, as was his goal, and passed away two days later...though he was here for his b'day that year, he was unable to sing happy b'day to his dad, as he had lost his voice that morning...but he did mouth the words to the song when the cake was brought in, and at the end of the song raised up his thumb as a sign of triumph that he had "made it.")  Anyway, during our meeting, the psychic motioned to Mike's dad and after asking us if our son's name was Mike, said "Mike is smiling and wants to tell his Pop happy birthday, and that his Pop should 'take the cake, dad, take the cake.'"..(.the night before, his dad didn't want any b'day cake at the early celebration of his b'day, because he's been dieting).  Also, Mike frequently called his dad "Pop."   The psychic also mentioned that Mike "has a thick, thick beard and is wearing some sort of baseball cap, with a shamrock on it."  ..Mike did indeed have a thick red beard, and always wore his Red Sox baseball cap, and while he had many pins on his hat, his favorite pin on it was a shamrock with the Red Sox sox emblem on it.    In fact, the cap with all the pins on it was placed in Mike's casket for the service, and then went with him in the casket.  Since Mike and I had gone to many baseball games together and I was with him when he got most of those pins, including the shamrock one, I was a little disappointed that this was his wife's decision to let the cap go with him, but chose not to say anything...she had enough to deal with as it was.  At this "visit" at our meeting, the psychic pointed at me and said "Mike has a message for you, as well..he is tugging at the brim of his cap, saying "I have the cap, mom, give her the cap, give her the cap, let it go."  He also said that Mike wanted to tell his dad that "She is the Queen, she is the queen", meaning me, as the psychic pointed to me.  Of course, we don't know for sure, but this is likely in reference to the fact that since we've moved into a double-wide mobile home for our downsizing for retirement, Mike's dad often jokingly sings that country song "She is the queen of my double-wide trailer, with the polyester curtains and the redwood deck...." and with Mike's sense of humor, I am sure he would be singing it right along with his dad.  Also, Mike always teased his dad about letting me be "the boss" and often told him that he needed to take the reigns now and then...

So, what do you all think of that?!  Has anyone here ever been to a psychic?  This man is an author of three books, very well known, he travels all over the country, but lives in this area---he is actually from the town where I grew up, outside of Boston, Dorchester.   His name is John Holland, and from what I've read since the meeting, it seems we were quite fortunate to have him visit with us, as mediums go.  I don't know how many here believe in such, but I do believe that there are people in this world who have a closer connection than most with those gone before us, and though I've never been to a medium before, I was certainly taken aback by what happened at this meeting...many of the other parents had messages, as well, though there were some who didn't, and he offered to meet with them after October, privately, for no fee.  I didn't read anything about him beforehand, as I didn't want to put suggestions into my head.  He seemed very sincere, and since there was no money exchanged, certainly didn't come there to make money. 

Anyway, I just thought I would share this with you all...it was quite an evening for us, and it has been difficult to digest it all. 

I hope everyone has a restful evening and a peaceful day tomorrow.  We are spending the afternoon with Mike's youngest, Damon, and it should prove to be fun. 

love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs

ps:  I hope I haven't upset or offended anyone by my talking about this...I jsut wanted to share with you all, who "get it."

[ericasmom]

Betty, well put, for evil to be conquered...I so agree, we must work to make this place make better sense for others. When here, we see a new purpose in our lives adn while it is based on loss, nevertheless, we are helping one another through an enormously sad event. Our goals now have changed.  There are gold and silver strings holding my heart together, the goodness that we find in others, and the magic that is inherent in angels makes decorates our loss so that there comes a day when we savor the time alone with our thoughts or days like these that Bonnie inspired, when we can celebrate our Child so that She can fly next to all of the other Angels we love.

Bonnie, mine is two sided but Erica's name and dates are only on one side, the other side was meant to have my punch out letters that would simply say ERI. I will add them when the banners come here.

Carol, John rushed to FedEx as well, and after paying a ton he said that he knew how important this became, and important to him as well. But here's to we procrastinators.

my heart to each

dee

[shorty16]

Hello my BI friends

Just wanted to say hello.

Terrie, I am saying a prayer for Misty and --- Brian, please give Misty a huge hug from her parents - welcome her into your world with the light of the Lord.

I cannot wait to see the banners.  Bonnie has told me they are all so unique.  Mine if faux leather - red and black with family pictures laminated and stuck to it.

I think of you all!

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[mpsmom]

Carol,OMG... John Holland is one of the well known mediums... what a privledge, i sent you a long long PM.    Love, Marcia   Bethanys mOM forever

[zachysmom]

Hi all been a rough spell and just been trying to regroup. I now know I can't go with out my medication but oh well could be worse. That has been my mantra as of late. "oh well could be worse"

I am not going to have my flag for my angel done in time but I should have it done no later than thursday. I will send it out then. maybe it could be added at a later time.

I also now have internet again yipee

The pic is one we didn't know we had if you look close at his chest you can see his birthmark we called his "heart spot"

[mpsmom]

Beth, what a sweet picture of Zach , I see his 'heart' and those eyes...., they look right through you .... I am glad to see you 'back again' ...... have wondered how you and your family were doing.   Fall is settling in here in the desert, I hope to start doing some walking in the evenings, maybe that will help me sleep.

Hugs, Marcia   Bethanys mom forever

PS love the sponge bob hat.. one of my faorite cartoons

[zachysmom]

We are all struggling but taking it slow.

we cry anytime we see spongebob it was on the tv the night our world crashed.

[hotrod]

Hi  Beth

 Such a precious picture.  I am glad you have an internet connection back I would be lost without it.

Please take care of yourself and do whaever you need .

Betty 

[shellbellsmom]

Just got back from dinner....and it went went well for the most part. My son (same age as my daughter when she died 22) got upset when I mentioned his sister as usual.  We were doing a birthday toast for my husband and I mentioned her name some how and he chewed me out something terrible, and said why do I always have to bring up death.  He called me the grim reaper and said I am obsessed with death.  He always acts like this when she is mentioned. Too painful for him.  I just wanted to know if he was free for dinner on his sisters birthday which is coming up on Nov. 9th; He said he would be busy....makes me sad but we all deal with death differently, and he chooses to pretend it didn't happen. 

So besides that I had a nice time. There were laughs...and it was nice to catch up on everything. My son is in his last semester of college at MSU and works too so he's always in and out.  I wish I could talk about her more with my boys but maybe someday...I will be patience. 

Carol, I have seen several psychics before.  John Holland is suppose to be awesome. 

Take Care everyone and wishing everyone sweet dreams of their angels.  Sue

[lolynbo]

WELL SPEED RACERS TIX IS GOING TO BE 100$ AND WE HAVE TO GO TO COURT WITH HIM...SUNCE HE IS UNDER AGE...(I GUESS I TOLD YAL KODY GOT A TIX 65 IN A 55 RIGHT OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL....HE DRIVES LIKE HIS DADDY..

ITS RAINING AND VERY DEPRESSING HERE..I WAS GOING TO GO FOR A WALK..BUT.....

MISSIN MY GIRL TEROUBLY (SP)...ITS SEEMS TO BE GETTING WORSE...DAMN....

HOPE YAL HAVE A BLESSED DAY...OH AND THERE IS A FAMILY HERE IN MY TOWN THAT THEIR LIL BOY (10 ISH) HAS SPINAL MENEGITUS AND THEY TOOK HIM OFF THE LIFE SUPPORT TODAY....PLZ PRAY FOR THEM.....

[ericasmom]

Sue, I don't walk on eggshells as much as you with your Boy, but I do measure somewhat around Jonathan who is now 28. He was 21 When Eri died. He, in my opinion, has some depression and anxiety issues since she died, and i do feel guilt is at the center of both. I so wish he would go to therapy to work through some of it, however everyone, as you said Sue, grieves differently. Age at the time of loss is also a key. Many young men do not feel ready for therapy and some never will, gender playing a role there too (sorry for the blanket statement). Here is praying for our Boys.

Carol, how lucky to have been a part of a physic event. I don't know of him, have not read that much about different physics but do believe that some simply have the ability to read the energy of our Babies. How cool that he was able to do just that.

I too had inklings of ERi leaving as you did of Mike, though your feelings came when he was quite young. Mine came in the form of dreams/nightmares just months before she left us. And so when that call from the hospital came, I knew, and I began calling my sisters before we even got out of Chicago on our long drive to Kalamazoo Michigan. My husband said, " no Dee, it is just an accident, she is hurt but it is too soon to call people, she may just need to be in the hospital for a while."

I said, " nope, she is going to die, they are going to put us in a small room and tell us that."

That is what happened. Eri lived for 6 days which I am quite sure was intended to give all of her Chicago friends time to get there, and aunts and uncles from around the US> This was a blessing indeed to be among those that gathered in her name, to listen to all of the stories that I would never have heard had she died right away. Other blessings in this was Eri had to feel the presence of all those loving people around her helping her leave knowing that she will never be forgotten, and her friends benefited as they never had to picture Eri looking battered because she didn't look like her car was hit by a train. Her injuries were inside, aside from a cut under her eyebrow and a broken jaw, she looked like Eri. My beauty.

Sunny and warm and golden here today, one more day before it changes. The tree right outside my second floor classroom is golden and makes this whole room glow.

Bonnie, the flag should arrive at around 4:00 or so. I hope that you like it.

[mikesmomrs]

Lorri:  Sorry about Kody's ticket, but hopefully it will settle into his mind as a lesson...our grandson got a ticket last month or so, and it was in a construction zone, so it was doubled...to $310!  That sure took a bite and then some out of his paycheck...his mom told him to go to court and perhaps they will reduce it, but he said "No, I did it, I need to pay for it.  It's something I will learn a lesson from."  Huge words from someone so young, and just a little over a year ago would have said "screw them, I can't believe they did this to me."  That was his usual way of handling/responding to anything that happened to him, but thank God he's been in rehab for a year and half, and is continuing to do really well, and also, thankfully, to grow up and be responsible...it takes time...LOTS of patience, and love you just never knew you had...but then, we all know that, don't we...

Dee:  I am so glad that you all had that time with Eri, and I also believe that she knew everyone was there...what a wonderful tribute to such a beautiful Girl, to tell her that they loved her so much.  We keep that in mind whne we think of the two weeks that Mike spent in bed here, before he passed...so many people came to see him...one girl came who told us that Mike had saved her life and she hadn't seen him in 6-7 years, but she had to come to tell him thank you again....another came to tell us of how much he lightened their day at work...said that there never was a lunch break that he didn't have them laughing over something or other...the job was tough, working outside in the winter in a wood cutting barn, open on both ends, and in the summer, brutally hot, so the lunch break was a welcome respite...  I am also glad that Eri remained her beautiful self, for all to see and to give her their love before she left.  thanks so much for sharing this beautiful story. 

Well, Damon is here today, and he is FULL of "spit and vinegar" as my mom used to say...on the way over here, I went through the car wash, and while we were sitting there waiting for it to start, I looked in the rear view mirror, and said "You are just so cute, and I just love looking back there and seeing your sweet little face."  He replied, 'You're just saying that because I am a cute Jedi."   (He loves playing that he is someone else, mostly Star Wars guys...last time he was here, we asked him "who are you today, Anakin?"  He said, "No, Anakin is out shopping for groceries today." We told him he had a wonderful imagination, and he said "No, it's not my 'magnation, it's for really real---they have to eat too, you know."

I hope everyone has a nice day today..the weather here is just awesome...

love and peace to all...Carol   mikesmomrs

[ericasmom]

Carol, hooray for your more responsible Grandboy, thank heavens that he has learned a better way to live. He comes from good stock you know. Your little one saying what he did when you looked at him in the rearview...so adorable.

Glad that on this beauty day you have a little Beauty with you.

Blessings all about us

dee

[lolynbo]

said, " nope, she is going to die, they are going to put us in a small room and tell us that."

That is what happened.

I WAS SOOOO AFRAID OF THE SMALL ROOM, I SAW WAY TO MANY FAMILIES GO IN THERE IN THE 7 MONTHS AND 2 DAYS WE WERE THERE...I KNEW I DIDNT WANT TO GO TO THE "SMALL ROOM"...BUT MY TIME CAME IT WAS JUST A DIFF ROOM AND DIFF HOSP...SAME OUTCOME..

KODY HAS MATURED SO MUCH SINCE KOURTNEYS PASSING AND ALL WE WENT THROUGH...HE SAID "I CANT BELEIVE YAL AINT YELLN AT ME," I SAID " WELL WERE NOT HAPPY, BUT I HOPE U HAVE LEARNED A LESSON"...SO ALL WE CAN DO IS PRAY/AND SLOW DOWN...BUT WHAT IS FUNNY IS KODY SAID "THE COACH SAID I COULD LEAVE SCHOOL EARLY SO I DID, BUT THE COP MADE ME GO BACK, THEN WHEN I GO BACK THEY ARE PLAYIN 4 SQUARE, IF I KNEW THEY WERE PLAYN 4 SQ I WOULDNT HAD LEFT"....LOL BIG 225PDS WANTS TO PLAY 4 SQ....

[shorty16]

About the small room in the hospital.

When they told us to sit in the room before flight for life came back - empty, I thought they were just being nice.

I had no idea what those rooms were for?!?!  I feel stupid now that others knew it was coming.  I was blind-sided by the death of my son.

Now I know what those small rooms in the hospital are for.

Colleen

[hotsauce]

you were lucky to get a small room, they asked me to the nurse kitchen.

then i got the bad news.  you just never know about small rooms at hospitals.

mary ann

Brian's momdukes

 

p.s.  weather is super, we were in the 30's and wet the last couple of day and today is 70's and sunny.

[briansdad]

I know small rooms. They had Brian's body in a small birthing room for me to ID him.Kind of ironic HUH

[shellbellsmom]

We had the small room too.  Once the ICU staff realized how big and supportive (they called us hyper-vigilant) our family was...and that we all couldn't fit in her room, the staff allowed us to use the private small room (even giving us the secret code).  They didn't want us to all be in the waiting room I guess.  Whatever reason it was wonderful to have a private space.  We ate, slept and prayed together in that small room.  We even rearranged the furniture so we could all fit better. My son brought up a camping cot so we could sleep more comfortably.   And yes, we had many meetings from the countless doctors and nurses we had over those 2 weeks on the ICU floor in our small room. On the day Michelle died we were meeting in the small room for a briefing with the ICU doctor when his beeper went off...he was getting a page from my daughters nurse alerting him that her blood pressure was uncontrollable....we all ran out of the small room and within minutes my daughter would be dead.  Man, I totally forgot about this small room. 

[lolynbo]

ME, MONTY, BRENT AND SCOTT (KOURTNEYS DAD) LIVED IN THE ICU WAITING ROOM FOR 7MONTHS 2 DAYS..SLEEPING ON FLOORS AND CRIPPLIN RECLINERS NEVER HAVING THE LIGHTS OFF OR A SEC OF PC AND QUIET TO OUR SELVES...WE HAD TO WATCH OUR THINGS AS IF WE WERE ON SURVIVOR...ONE DAY A LADY GOT A COKE A  OUT OF THE MACHINE AND SHE WALKED ALL THE WAY TO THE DOOR AND OPENED IT, IT STARTED TO SPEEW (SP) AND SHE WALKED OVER TO OUR PILE OF (OUR QUILTS AND HOME BLANKETS ) TO WIPE OFF HER COKE...I SAID "MAM THOSE ARE OUR QUILTS FROM HOME NOT FROM HOSP," SHE SAID "WELL IT WAS MAKING A MESS"...OH MY GOD...OUR FOOD WOULD BE TAKEN IN THE NIGHT , PPL WOULD STEP OVER US TO GET COKES...CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK ALL NIGHT LONG...THEN BRIGHT AND EARLY IN THE MORNING SURGERY FAMILIES WOULD COME IN AND WAIT FOR THEIR LOVED ONES TO HAVE "DAY SURGERY" AND THIS STARTED AROUND 6 IN MORN...(THEY COULD HAVE WENT TO THE OTHER WAITING ROOM DOWN THE HALL BUT THEY DIDNT) KEEP IN MIND THE LIGHTS NEVER WENT OFF IN THIS ROOM, OR THE TV (HARDLY)...

AT CHRISTMAS TIME WE HAD BEEN THERE 6 TO 8 WEEKS AND IT REALLY GOT CRAZY...KIDS FROM 9 IN THE MORN TIL 11 AT NIGHT WAITING...ONE FAMILY HAD 23 KIDS WITH THEM AND 15 ADULTS (I COUNTED)...WEARING THEIR ROLLER SHOES IN THE HOSP SKATING UP AND DOWN THE HALL AND IN ICU ALSO...2 RECLINERS WERE BROKE IN ONE DAY FROM KIDS RIDING THEM LIKE A BULL.(THEY WERE THERE DAILY FOR 2 WEEKS)..I FINALLY BLEW UP AND GOT ON TO SOME OF THE PARENTS AND TOLD THEM "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH THIS IS ICU NOT A ZOO, YOU NEED TO CONTROL YOUR DAMN KIDS".....IM USUALLY QUIET BUT I SEEMED TO CHANGE IN THOSE 7MONTHS AND 2 DAYS...MY SISTER SAID "LORRI IM WORRIED ABOUT YOU , U USE TO BE SO NICE BUT NOW YOUR GETTING KINDA LIKE ME".....

IT WAS HELL I HAVE A MILLION HORRIBLE STORIES THESE ARE JUST SOME

[shorty16]

Wow

Was the weather nice today in Wisconsin.  Rained in the morning, but the sun came out and I took the dog for a walk.

I took a mental-health day from work today.

I was so stressed and needed to regroup before my trip to VA

Colleen

[ericasmom]

Oh Lori, 7 months is such a long time to be in the ICU. We were there 6 days, and honestly, I wanted more, I didn't want the inevitable, but I also know what hardship living there was for everyone. I have to say though, the nursing staff, the operator, the maintenance crew, the security and the paramedics the helicoptor crew all were fabulous to us, oh and the Gift Of Life People too. Amazing and wonderful people. I told them if ever i suddenly had money, like a lot of money, I would donate a bunch to their ICU because of how well they respected our needs at the hardest time of our lives. They talked gently to Eri and to all of us. Well one doc didn't, actually two, but eventually, they too were softened by the outpouring of emotion that came and went to Eri's room each day and night, never ending until her ending.

We slept on the floor in sleeping bags provided by ERi and Jon's friends. The giant lights humming and on all night, the other families that came and went and some that stayed for a day or two. We were the ones that stayed. Each day I walked people into her room to say hello, to say goodbye, to paint her toenails, to tell her quiet stories, to pray all around her, to sing her home.

Everyday, the operator came to tell us how many calls came in about OUR GIRL> The town so upset by this misaligned track and road configuration and the broken light. One day, 500 calls flooded the phone lines at Bronson Truama Center. Amazing.

There I met a woman named Jean (she was a friend of a fmaily that Jonathan hung out with) and it was Jean whose own Son was killed on a motorcycle 4 yeas before that came to me and said, "let me help." She was a minister and she came back each day. What was amazing was she gained Michael's trust, ERi and Jon's Dad. Michael didn't trust easily at all, especially religious leaders. So the fact that she won his trust let me know that she would offciate at Eri's funeral. And so it was. She came to oak park, illinois and gave us so much love and her own circumstances let us see that one day, one day, we too would stand up in life where our Child could not.

Here we are. Michael is smiling from the heavens with his Girl now, and I pray that together they can bless Jonathan with a long strong and very happy life.

One more conference for tonight, then all over again tomorrow. I have been here 12 hours. Yikes.

Love to all,

dee

[ericasmom]

colleen have a blast in Virginia. Hug the heck out of Bonnie, and Bonnie, hug the heck out of Colleen.

Love,

dee

PS Dan if you get to go, they have to hug you for me.

[lolynbo]

KOURTNEYS LAST COMMENT ON HER SISTERS MYSPACE PAGE

hey whats up? wish i could have seen u before u go out of town but i will take care of avery for u dont worry i love u and dont sweat the small things in life...LOVE ALWAYS

your lil sis

THIS PIC IS OCT 07'..WE WERE AT THE RACES LAUGHING AND HAVING FUN, SHE HAD A BAD HEADACHE, WE STOPPED AND BOUGHT TYLONOL RAPID RELEASE GELS...I TOOK ONE THEY WERE HORRIBLE...WE DID HAVE A GOOD TIME....OUR LAST TIME EVER HAVING FUN LAUGHING WITH HER...THE TUMOR BURST WITHIN 2 WEEKS OF THIS PIC

[heartbeataway]

Hi guys,

Let me tell you a story.  Hope you don't mind.  It's almost unbelievable.  I've shared that my Dad is actively dying from metastasized prostate cancer.

Rich and I drove in to Roanoke at 4AM  this morning so we could say goodbye. We went to bed around 11:30, the last time I looked at the time it was 1:37. The alarm went off at 3:00. We arrived in Roanoke around 7AM.

At one point, I was talking to Dad and sharing some memories I have.  I also told him that Jason is waiting for him and would he please give him a big hug from us.  He took my hand and in a very weak almost garbled voice he told me that he loved me and what I think was "you be good and I'll see you again, okay?". 

Then .....

He raised his head and started looking beyond me and started motioning with his hand as if he was saying, "come here".  And in a loud voice  starting calling, "Jaybo,  come here Jaybo .... come here Jaybo ..... hurry....."   Jaybo is the nickname my Dad gave Jason.

Then he smiled and put his hands on the cover in front of him and announced, "I'm ready to go home".

I have never experienced a more profound, touching moment.  I was in awe.  It's been an emotional day.  I was in hopes of having time alone with him. I got sick on the way and we had to stop twice.  I think it was just nerves.

I pray that he doesn't linger and that he does go home soon.  He no longer has control of body functions and his catheter bag has mostly blood in it and very little of that.

He is not eating or drinking and he's really agitated.  He's talking very softly and you can't understand much of it.  Plus,  you don't know who he's talking too and he's reaching and pointing a lot.

Bless his sweet soul ......

And then I get home and open up the banners I received today.

I almost have no words.  Each and every one is basically a representation of a life by family.  Each one unique.  Each one absolutely perfect!

Carol,

The pain staking detail!  After looking over this, one would have to feel like they know Mike personally.  The Fenway Diet .....  Rich loved it! 

Shelly Oh Shelly ...... I could feel the emotion as I held Rohan's banner.  Especially knowing it was his shirt. Absolutely precious! 

Betsey,

You made Rich proud! His hair reminds me of he color of Jason's What a handsome young man your son!

Lorri,

Monty can really come through in a pinch, can't he?  I think the sleeve at the top is plenty big for the rope. Love the colors! 

Wait until you see these ...... they are amazing!

Love!

Bonnie, Jason's Mom

[arc4ever]

Thank you Bonnie for sharing your experience.  It made me cry and fill my heart with hope.

Bless you and I pray for a peaceful transition. 

Much love Terrie (Adam's M0m)

[arc4ever]

I remember my husband and I being called into the small room.  They told us Adam has a severe head injury, broken pelvis, broken femur, and they had no pulse in his foot.  Of course I wasn't thinking at the time and I said "but he's a runner!".  Then I  think I realized what I had said.  The doctor just kept leaving and coming back and giving us updates during surgery "we removed his spleen", he is "very bad".  Finally, quiet me decided I had had enough of the repeated information, we knew what was happening,  and I told the doctor to  "leave us alone we know what you are telling us, go do what you can do" and he left.  We knew then what was happening.  Paul and I looked at each other in the eyes.  I remember saying "I don't know how to do this" over and over and over again.  And our answer to each other was "together we will do this".  We called in the close members of the family that were upstairs with us (everyone else was downstairs) and told them the status.  They doctors came and got us and told us we needed to come to Adam NOW.  So down that long horrible hallway around the corner to my wonderful son, laying under a blanket, looking perfect except for a small area of hair they shaved from his head.  Perfect he looked.  How could this possibly be?  We stayed with him for a while talking and rubbing and praying.  At one point I looked back and there must have been 20 nurses and doctors watching us - they all were so young.  They all tried so hard I know they did.  We finally said the Lords Prayer over Adam and went back to the small room to be the ones to tell our family.  Took them back to see Adam and we stood in a circle and prayed for a while.  When we were ready to go downstairs and tell Adam's friends and our friends who were waiting (there were probably 30 or so), we got off the elevator, took them all to the Chapel on the first floor, asked them to stand in a circle and hold hands and pray the Lord's prayer with  us.  Once we were finished, my husband just said "he's gone"  The looks on those poor children's faces, it broke our hearts.  I know several have told me they refuse to return to that hospital (and these are some strong willed kids).  I don't blame them an experience such as that leaves a lifetime scar on a child.  I know what it is doing to me and my husband, I can't imagine what it does to a sibling.  My prayer for today: Please Got don't ever send me in the small room again, when it comes time for someone I love (myself included) just don't take me to that small room again. 

Thank you all for listing to my story which I have probably already told!

Love and goodnite, Terrie (Adams' mom)

[ericasmom]

The stories are important as they represent our hearts still beating when our Children's hearts had to stop. What stories could be more important? Thank you all for sharing your little room in the hospital stories, they have touched my life deeply. We share so much here because we are in a room together, a room that offers light and a shoulder to rest on, (many shoulders) and we have the freedom to wander the sad terrain knowing that we are not bothering anyone with our grief, only sharing it with an old friend. Sharing the weight and size of our Losses over and again so that we better understand this new world.

Bonnie, what an incredible day for you guys, all of you. The validation of your Boy, that Dad sees him adn believes in him helping him to the other side? Well this speaks volumes. I am so glad that you went to him and that he did this while you were present. Jaybo.

Michael did a lot of pointing and mumbling in his last two days, he was making his plans we said, conversations with angels I think. My heart to you Bonnie for all that you are traveling.

I am so happy for the flag arrivals, but I was told by FEDEX that ours should have been deliverd by 4 or 4:30 today. NOt there? I better get on the phone.

Love to you,

dee