Dating a widower

[RVNK]

I’ve been dating a widower and overall things have been great. He lost his wife young and said he’s ready to move on.  He does have kids so if a full time dad too. 
It’s hard for me to understand his feelings as I’ve never had this loss. But he can go quiet at times or even brush me aside like I mean nothing then other times he’s loving and caring and the perfect gentleman. 
he told me he feels guilt at times when he’s with me but we have always got over this. 
however this time he’s been quiet for over a week and I’m now starting to question everything. 
95% of the time we’ve been dating everything is great it’s the other 5% that hurts. Certain things/dates can bring back memories for him, this is when he backs off. 
he will tell me what’s being going on in his head etc but always after the event. I understand he maybe doesn’t want to hurt me but he’s hurting me more with the quiet. A simple message or call saying he’s having a bad day would make me feel better about things.
 sometimes I just think he’ll never truly move on right now and I’m wasting my time and I’ll end up hurt. 
what is normal in this scenario?   When should I call it a day or how long should I give him?  I don’t know if I can handle being a therapist but I do need answers. 
 

maybe not the best place to be posting but don’t know who else to ask