My husband is upset because I refuse to spend anytime with his toxic family. How do I make him get over himself ?

[pacificislandgirl]

Me and my husband have been married for 2 years. I was not born in the United States but I lived here for awhile. I'm from tahiti . When me and my husband got married, at first my in laws wasn't very nice. They always questioned my motive for marrying him because I'm not an American so they thought that I was marrying him just to get a green card. My husband have been married to an immigrant previously and his ex betrayed him and left him as soon as she got her green card. I don't know if it's true but that's what they told me and because of that, they are very suspicious of me despite that I showed them my US passport and telling them that I'm independent and trying to convince them that I'm not marrying him for malicious reasons. And they use to ask me about my personal life. If I have family in my home country and I tell them that I do not wish to talk about my personal life and I told them to not ask personal questions. That's why I'm even careful to not talk about my personal life to my husband because what if he talks about me to his family behind my back ? They are not invasive anymore and they sort of trying to get along with me but I still avoid them as much as possible. I have been declining birthday invites, dinner invites, and one of my husband's brothers is getting married soon and I'm considering not going to the wedding and I told my husband that. He tells me that I should make more of an effort with them because they don't think bad about me anymore and they are trying to make amends but I don't feel comfortable with them. I would rather spend time with my own family then spend time with people who I don't feel at home with. How do I make him get over the fact that I want nothing to do with his family ?

[KayC]

I would attend the wedding, it can't be made up for later if you don't.  In time they may see your intent but not if you don't make the effort.  Do it for your husband, not them.  JMO