How to regain memory gaps after dad passed away?

[dandelions]

My dad passed away in 2017 when I was 17.

I don't really share about how I feel but I honestly still think about him almost every day; about how it was such a sad thing that he died before I knew how to be a more thoughtful, mature human being that I am right now, that he probably only could see the ignorant teenager side of me.. so I disappoint him a lot. 

Lately, I was watching a k-drama about mental health and there was an episode about memory loss caused by traumatic events. I was wondering how it is possible, until I realized that I also couldn't remember a lot of things about my dad before he passed away. We lived in the same house for 17 years yet I could only remember less than 10 very short moments that we shared. I also don't really remember what happened to me and my family before I was 17. My dad passed away right before I graduated high school and it's almost like I don't remember SO much thing about life before I graduated high school and moved out of town. Is this normal? or is it because I'm just forgetful? I remember feeling like this since a few years ago, so this is not something so recent.

Please tell me if anyone knows what happened to me, and how to deal with this.. because I really want to remember my dad. I feel like a terrible person because I can't remember him after all that we've been through and it makes me even more sad that no matter how I tried, I just couldn't remember.

[Raxs]

Hey, I'm sorry to hear that.

I lost my dad when I was 10 years old, and it's now been 12 years since then. I can totally understand your feelings, I think. I've lost most of the memories because I was traumatized by that too. Since then, I would give everything to just talk one last time to my dad or even just hear his voice.

Getting back your memories is very hard, and I don't even know if it's possible. Sometimes our brain tries to protect us from something we can't even understand. But if it helps you, you can watch some videos about lucid dreaming. It sounds stupid, but it's proven to work. However, I don't know if it's possible through that to get your memories back. Sometimes meditation or some hypnosis can help.

You just have to try it out, and I hope that you get your memories back.

But there's only one thing left to say: no matter what happens, I hope through my comment you can understand that you are not alone. Try to talk to someone; the best person would probably be a therapist.

I wish you all the best in life and hope that you have a fulfilling life. Take care.