Members Becci Posted December 22, 2018 Members Report Share Posted December 22, 2018 Hi Im Becci I am 36, my mum had DVT and lost both her legs in July and August last year, she suffered from Arterial Disease and most of her main Arteries were plastic piping She died on the 7th of this month aged 56, I spent most of my free time with her, felt guilty for working, when I should have been with her, during the last week of her life she was weak, stopped eating and took to her bed, she suffered as she wouldn't take the end of life care drugs that were offered because she didn't want to be asleep all the time. Since her death, my dad has needed me as well as my 2 sisters, and my daughter .... I havnt stopped for the last 2 weeks, im burnt out helping everyone else grieve.... My husband is impatient with me when I cry, I have to grieve in private . I feel lost, for the last 18 months my life revolved around mum and her illness, there is a massive hole.. Christmas is just around the corner, but I don't want to celebrate it, it just doesn't feel right!!How do I go on without Mum, the one person who is supposed to be there for you at all times? Im all over the place, im not sleeping too well, im forcing myself to eat, and just blindly going through the days.... Im just lost Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members reader Posted December 23, 2018 Members Report Share Posted December 23, 2018 Dear Becci, My deepest sympathies and condolences. I am very sorry for your loss. During this sad and difficult time it is hard to cope and even get through each moment of the day. There is so much on your shoulders caring for your family. Please know everything you are feeling is natural and normal. Its so painful to lose a beloved parent. I wanted to let you know you are not alone. We are all with you. And if you want to maybe consider talking to a grief counsellor, joining a support group in the community or in the church. I also found these websites helpful in understanding my loss. Aging Care Grief in Common What's Your Grief Grief Healing Blog. Thinking of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Willalwaysremember Posted December 28, 2018 Members Report Share Posted December 28, 2018 Hi Becci, I'm sorry for your loss. I too feel a little overwhelmed with life after my mom passed so I can relate. Your loss is very recent and all the feelings you are feeling are all quite normal. I lost my mom 8 months ago and still cry daily. It is a lot to get used to. I know that one day I will be able to think about my mother and not cry but I guess I'm not there yet. I've decided to not let people make me feel badly because I'm still sad or that I still need to talk about her and her death to help me process it. At least on this forum we can talk about these things and not be judged about them so type away anytime about how you are feeling. I think that will help. You aren't alone.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Willalwaysremember Posted December 28, 2018 Members Report Share Posted December 28, 2018 Also, maybe go to your doctor to talk. I did and felt better. I also got some medicine to help me sleep for those very teary nights when the whole world felt like it was crumbling into pieces... Sometimes husbands have a knack for being truly disappointing. My husband has said a few off side things to me as well when I've cried. He hasn't lost a parent and truly doesn't understand the loss. I think he can't see past his own stresses to help me with mine sometimes. It also probably pains him to see you going thru this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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