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carriebear95051

Heading for Divorce-Very Depressed

  

1 member has voted

  1. 1. advice

    • I don;t know what to do
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    • I don't know how to handle this
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carriebear95051

I just learned 2 days ago that my husband of 2.5  years is having an affair. I had asked to move out 2 months ago as our marriage has not been good since 6 months into it. He is much younger than I am and he smokes a lot of pot. He has done other drugs in the past, so I am not sure he is using anything else besides pot. During this time of separation neighter of us filed for legal separation as we wanted to give it some time and go to marriage counseling. Well he went to the first appt. which was basically an intake. The day I found out about the affair would have been our next appt. We never made it that far, as I learned and tried to confront him he got very angry with me and just said "I don't want this , I am never coming back, I cant stand you"  When I tried to ask him if there was someone else he evaded the question and just said "all you need to know is I don't want you or this , I am done". I later learned he was dating one of his roommates friends. I freaked out, texting, texting trying to get answers from him as I was so confused. He had just moved almost all of his things back into our house last week. He came over in tears begging me back stating he missed me and home and that he needed help. I gave in. Last Saturday was the last morning I saw him, he never returned and never took any of my calls or texts just ignored me. all I want to do is stay in bed. I have been crying since I found out and not able to eat.

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Jac

I am in a divorce after my husband cheated several times over 30 years. Get out while you can! If he is not remorseful, begging to have you back, very loving with you, he is out. I have learned this the hard way. I stayed together for the sake of our family and it just got to be unbearable. I am so sorry you are in such pain!

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Jac

P.S. As hard as it is, try not to have any contact with him. It just hurts too much.

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mercuryfalling79

@carriebear

Your husband is making the worst mistake of his entire life. Hopefully he will realize this and stop what he is doing. Your response is not only common but probably as healthy as possible. It is not healthy or acceptable to throw away a marriage like he is doing. Too many people out there are WAY too willing to "trade up" or give up on their marriage. Marriage is not supposed to be temporary or disposable, it is designed to be a lifelong commitment that grows and evolves with both people over the course of their lives. It is unforgivable that society today views it as disposable. Divorce should only be for extreme cases of severe and chronic abuse. For those who would disagree... I would encourage them to consider what the definition of marriage is. A boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is a temporary and sometimes a transitional kind of relationship. A marriage is NOT temporary or transitional in nature. Once you marry somone, that's it. You don't get to leave or move on to something that seems better or more sexy. You comit to you spouse and you give them your life in exchange for their own. Married people literally belong together as a mated pair permanently. Until death do you part. Its time that people start viewing and respecting marriage for what it is.

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guzma024

I can relate. My marriage was only 14 months. After my husband asked me for a divorce I learned that he was with someone else. As time went by I put pieces together concluding he had been cheating prior to leaving me. There is one day I don't cry, don't miss him, don't think about him doing our things with her now, I feel lonely, incomplete. He has no desire to work it out I desperately begged him to work on our marriage that I wanted to save. He refused. The combination of all this has really messed him my self esteem making me think I am not good enough especially since I was so easily replaced. No one gets married thinking they'd get divorced. We have had limited contact in these almost 3 months of separation, seen each other 3 times had few text conversations. Now there is 0 communication since I took his last paycheck 100% as he is still active duty in the process of getting discharged. I am sure he is very mad even though I told him I had no intensions on keeping the entire check I just wanted to finally get my answer of how much he was going to give me for the debt we accumulated to avoid communication and fights. He has always been irresponsible with money always broke before during and after our marriage. We are still married no one has filed. All the debt is under my name bc of his bad credit so it's been a huge burden of my stress in top of my emotional distress. I see a psychiatrist and a separated and divorce support group. I just feel like I need more help idk from where.

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