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Denial


Peifered

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My husband was in a motorcycle accident 6 weeks ago and did not make it. Our daughter is two. He has been my every day for seven years and suddenly he was ripped away. A small part of me still feels denial. Is this normal? I feel like I don’t understand death the way others do.

The only death I have experienced has been my Grandmother, who was in very poor health and she was in her 80s. We knew it was coming. With my husband, I suppose I never thought he could die. He was Superman. He was strong. 
I feel stupid because I still feel like it’s just not possible. How? How can he be gone forever? It doesn’t register and I’m mad at myself because I can’t get it. He has to be somewhere.
Maybe it’s easier for me to grieve in phases. I don’t know. Because sometimes it is crippling.

A woman turned her steering wheel too soon and now I’m losing my sanity. Sometimes I’m angry with her and sometimes I pity her. How horrible to know your carelessness lead to someone’s death. 

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You are young and we feel young people should not be facing this.  I felt we were young enough, we were supposed to grow old together, we didn't meet until our mid-40s and he died right after he turned 51!  HOW indeed.  

I only know life is not fair, it makes no sense, no rhyme or reason that we can see!  I asked why the first year, never got any answers.  I finally quit asking.

It doesn't make any sense.  My heart goes out to you.

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So sorry for your loss.  Your feelings and frustrations are completely normal.  Your loss was sudden and unexpected.  I can't even imagine losing the love of my life like this.  It's been just over 3 months for me.  He had cancer and lasted five years   Even though those five years were almost as hard as his passing I had to accept after so long that this sickness was gonna take him one day.  I at least tried and had time to prepare my mind for it.  I still can't believe it actually happened and that he is never coming back.  With you being so young with a small child who doesn't fully understand what's going on has to be so emotionally devastating.  Just take it day by day as that's all I have the mindset to do so far.  Hopefully you have friends and family to support you.  We all understand if no one else does which seems to be the norm.  Keep being as strong as you can.  

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