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Guilt


Sheemie

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My husband and I choose to not get vaccinated because we were scared, because we lived in a red state. I cant tell u how many people said, "dont get the vaccine, dont beleive anything u hear, its all lies." My husband caught it and unfortunately was one that it killed. I feel horrible unrelenting guilt. Honestly who really knows if the vaccine works. If it works how do u explain the Healthcare workers refusing it, the deaths from the vaccine, or the multiple vaccinated dying from it or testing positive despite multiple doses of it. I had few family members tell me I killed him because I did not make him get it. I suggested it multiple times but ultimately he chose to not get it. And every unvaccinated death the news tells us that they are martyr for getting the vaccine. I feel like a criminal because we did not get vaccinated. I feel like I killed him sometimes. That guilt is made worse every day when I see news say so and so died because they refused the vaccine.

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I'm so sorry you are going through this, it's a terrible thing.  Guilt is a normal feeling but you should remember that it was a mutual decision.

My brother died in much the same circumstances, and I still feel that I could have done more to convince my brother to get vaccinated.  Although I know I would have failed and just driven him away.

And as for the news, be sure to get the news from multiple sources, not just one news site - if all of the news you get is focused on one outlook then you can't know the truth.  I tend to watch CBS/NBC/ABC news and CNN and BBC as well, just to be sure I'm not getting only one side.

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Dear Sheemie and Mike,

I am so sorry for your loss. It's really hard. We all want to do right by our loved ones. With my dad, I tried to be Batman and save him but sometimes he was too stubborn for me. People told me over and over again you can't make someone do something they don't want to. I never wanted to upset him or push him or make him mad and left him be. We all do the best can sometimes with what we know in the moment. We're only human. I found this article helped me when it comes to guilt.

https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2012/12/grief-and-burden-of-guilt.html

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Sheemie, I'm sorry for your loss as well.  You can’t blame yourself.  All we can do is try to make informed decisions.  My daughter (RN at the time and now a nurse practitioner) worked in a medical ICU of a very large hospital when Covid started. The vast majority in there due to Covid we’re unvaccinated. Your story may help someone on the fence about getting vaccinated.  The vaccine works, but it’s not perfect.  If you are still unvaccinated, please consider getting vaccinated. Talk to medical professionals.  Folks with an agenda (on either side of the spectrum) don’t have your best interest at heart. 
 

God bless, steve

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