Members Roxym Posted April 16, 2021 Members Report Share Posted April 16, 2021 Hi. I lost my husband exactly two weeks ago today. I am broken. I still can’t associate death with my husband. I can’t get over the fact that he is gone. I can still smell him in our home. I go through his clothing, to feel him close to me. I cry all the time. I know time heals but right now the loss is unbearable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jmmosley53 Posted April 16, 2021 Members Report Share Posted April 16, 2021 Hello Roxym, I am very sorry for your loss. I think most people including myself have a very hard time the first few months processing the truth that the death happened. Being able to say he is not coming back and believing those words are so different. Kay C. mentioned that it is important to place any item with your beloved's scent on it into a zip storage bag. The scent fade fast and once gone.... I cry too. I used to cry every day, some days all day; now I don't need to cry as much. It breaks my heart to see you use the word unbearable. I know that feeling, of being over whelmed by your emotions and the pain is physical and your mind is tortured.. I think that our minds have to go through all that, in order to help us come to terms with reality. Be kind to your self. Take good care of you. Breath all the time, get nutrients, and sleep. Grief takes a lot of energy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted April 16, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted April 16, 2021 I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you will continue to come here to read/post, we want to be here for you as you go through this, so you'll know you are not alone in your feelings. I encourage you to put an item of clothing or pillowcase in a ziploc bag to preserve his smell...I did not think to do that and bawled my eyes out a month after when it was gone. I still remember his smell though and no once can take that from me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LMR Posted April 16, 2021 Members Report Share Posted April 16, 2021 Quote 3 hours ago, Roxym said: Hi. I lost my husband exactly two weeks ago today. I am broken. I still can’t associate death with my husband. I can’t get over the fact that he is gone. I can still smell him in our home. I go through his clothing, to feel him close to me. I cry all the time. I know time heals but right now the loss is unbearable. Hi Roxym. I am so very sorry that you have cause to join us here. We understand what you are going through so please cime and post or read as often as you need. This site has helped me through many a bad patch. There is little anyone can say to make you feel better but a couple of thoughts to help you cope: Don't expect too much of yourself, it's going to take a long time. My loss is 8 months today. I still find it incomprehensible and I cry every day. Sometimes all day. There is no time frame you need to fit into as you will learn from reading the posts. Take care of yourself and try to pay attention to the moment. I was walking about in a fog and fell and broke my wrist. It has made everything so much harder to bear. Don't pretend you're ok. Ask for help. It's hard but necessary. I wish you some relief. Hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Roxym Posted April 16, 2021 Author Members Report Share Posted April 16, 2021 Thank you so much. I am sorry for your loss. I didn’t ever think that I’d be on a group like this. But it does bring me some comfort to know I am not alone. Thank you for your lovely message. Take care and be safe. Hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ScotJ65 Posted April 16, 2021 Members Report Share Posted April 16, 2021 Hi Roxym, please accept my heartfelt condolences on the loss of your husband. My partner passed away last November & I've been here a while now. There's many fine people on here, and you'll get much needed sympathy, support and comfort. Please vent your feelings as often as you need to. We're all here for each other. God bless ((((Hugs)))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Roxym Posted April 16, 2021 Author Members Report Share Posted April 16, 2021 Hi Scot, thank you so much. I am terribly sorry for your loss. I appreciate your message very much. Lots of hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Roxym Posted April 16, 2021 Author Members Report Share Posted April 16, 2021 Thank you jmmosley53 , KayC and LMR for your lovely messages. I can’t thank you enough how comforting it is to hear from all of you. May God bless all of us and always give us the strength to go on. Hugs to all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Perro J Posted April 16, 2021 Members Report Share Posted April 16, 2021 My sincere condolences Roxym. I think you will understand my good intentions when I tell you that I wish you didn't have reason to be here. Welcome anyways. It takes a while for the intensity to recede. Be patient with this. There will be progress, but regression at times too. Often times I find just knowing that my sorrow is shared helps me feel a little less sad. May you find solace and peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sparky1 Posted April 17, 2021 Members Report Share Posted April 17, 2021 @Roxym My deep condolences to you as well. Losing our partners has brought us here. I'm sure you will find lots of comfort from reading our experiences as we can relate to your loss. Speaking of scents, I have placed a small pillow that my wife used inside a Ziploc bag. Also, I have the perfume she liked (and drove me crazy) and sprayed some on her PJ. It reminds me of the first time I smelled it on her. It also makes me cry, thinking of how beautiful she was when she got dressed up and put on that perfume. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Roxym Posted April 17, 2021 Author Members Report Share Posted April 17, 2021 How beautiful it is to hear from all of you. People I don’t know, making time to react and to respond to me. I will be forever grateful. It does bring comfort to read all of your messages. My husband was cremated yesterday and it still doesn’t feel real. He was this bold, exuberant man with a heart of gold and a smile that lit up any room. I felt so protected by him. Always towering over me as I am petite in stature. And he was tall and robust in build. He was an incredible man. Speaking about him in past tense is something I can’t get used to at least not now. He hasn’t left my thoughts since his passing. I look at his videos and photos and I still can’t him and death in the same category. How did this happen? How was he taken from us from so suddenly. Such a brutal death for such a special, good, kind, thoughtful, caring, compassionate human being. I still can’t fathom that. I can only hope and pray that he is at peace and that he is lavished with joy, light and peace in heaven. Thank you for all the messages and each and every one of you are in my thoughts and in my prayers as we all share a loss so deep. Strength and love to you all. ❤️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Missy1 Posted April 17, 2021 Members Report Share Posted April 17, 2021 @Roxym I am so sorry for your loss. I understand that you don’t or can’t associate death with your husband, what I found is that death is not the end, it’s a gate to somewhere else. We can’t go just yet, someday we shall cross over and I believe I will spend eternity with my soulmate. I have had vivid dreams about where he is, and visit him in these rare dreams. My love for him is more powerful than death of his physical body, I know he feels the same way. Love never dies and I shall always love him. His love keeps me going, I have something no one can take from me, my love for him, it is eternal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Roxym Posted April 17, 2021 Author Members Report Share Posted April 17, 2021 Hi Missy1. I am so sorry for your loss as well. Thank you for your kind message. That’s correct your love for him is something nobody can take away from you. Beautiful insight. Lots of hugs to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted April 17, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted April 17, 2021 10 hours ago, Roxym said: Speaking about him in past tense is something I can’t get used to at least not now. It's been nearly 16 years for me and I find I refer to him in present tense sometimes when "remembering" something about him but kind of go back and forth on that. After all, he is still uppermost in my heart & mind, in a way seeming good and gone, and in another way, he's still very much with me, if that makes any sense. 10 hours ago, Missy1 said: death is not the end, it’s a gate to somewhere else. We can’t go just yet, someday we shall cross over and I believe I will spend eternity with my soulmate. That is how I feel too, although I realize not everyone believes the same. For me, that hope/faith is my lifeline. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members CathyB21 Posted April 17, 2021 Members Report Share Posted April 17, 2021 Roxym, I’m so sorry, I know exactly how you feel. The first two weeks are horrible. You feel you are trapped in a nightmare you can’t wake up from. I’m only on week 6, but I am able to get out of bed and not have panic attacks. I have a grief counselor and I talk a lot with my MIL which helps. I have two young kids so I cry a lot for them. I thought that once my husband’s suffering was over (he suffered terribly) that I could start to heal. It hasn’t really been happened yet. The finality of it has been hard to comprehend. I’m 49 so it’s hard to see so many normal families and not wonder why this happens to us. I guess I can say that week six is better that weeks 2. I’m hoping each day is a little easier. The people on this site are wonderful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Roxym Posted April 17, 2021 Author Members Report Share Posted April 17, 2021 Hi CathyB21 i am so sorry to hear about your husband. It sounds like you went through a very tough time dealing with your husband’s illness, taking care of your babies and then having to lose your husband. I am so sorry and so immensely proud of you. Thank you for taking the time to message me. Thank you so much. Hearing from you made me look at my situation differently even tho I have lost my dearest love, I have a grown son 22 years old and he is such a support for me. I am 48 now my. Husband would have been 48 on the 29 May. There’s so much living to do, I didn’t think I’d do it without him. I am keeping you and your babies in my prayers. Lots of hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted April 18, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted April 18, 2021 I get the being young when we lost them and none of our friends having been through this, it is hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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